Only You

“… Come on, come on, spin a little tighter… Come on, come on, and the world’s a little brighter… Come on, come on, just get yourself inside her love… I’m in love…” I sung the last line of the song and there was silence around me. I opened my eyes and sat still for a few seconds, not regretting what I had just done. My sister was the one to break the silence and I could tell by her voice that she was pissed.

“Harry, you’re sounding a little raspy, come get some water.” She phrased it in such a way that I knew this was not an optional conversation that we were about to have. I hesitated, met my sisters eyes and could see her annoyance hidden behind my own stony expression. I glanced over at Selena as Gemma made her way out of the door. I knew that no one else would be able to see what I could see dancing back at me in her eyes as they sparkled, reflecting the words of my song back at me. Without a word I stood and followed Gemma out the room where she was waiting for me in the corridor. I followed her in silence to the dining room, and she didn’t speak until she had closed the door.

“What the fuck was that?” she hissed as I approached.

“Well, considering we’re in the corridor with you shouting at me, I’d like to wager that you know exactly what that was.” I said quietly back to her with a small smirk. She was not amused.

“Jen is furious Harry! You’re actively trying to take Selena from Jared! You’re not even being shy about it-“ I cut her off, having had enough of being berated for feeling something for someone by my own sister.

“No need to be shy about it when she already knows.” I said bluntly. Gemma tried to speak again but I continued, “Listen Gem, I get why Jen’s mad, and that’s fine, he can be mad and you can all hate me for my song… But it doesn’t change anything. I love her but I keep it to myself, I watch her kissing him and I smile like everything is fine, I can hear him fucking her down the damn corridor but I go to sleep in my own damn bed like I don’t even notice! So, forgive me, if I take an opportunity to confess some feelings that I fucking hide-“ I was snapping back at her when we were interrupted by a knock. I stopped and looked over to see Jared popping his head in with a smile.

“There you are Gem! Jensen needs to talk to you about something?” He said, stepping to the room and opening the door wide so that my sister would leave. She smiled back as though nothing had happened and passed him to go back into the corridor. I attempted to follow, but Jared stepped in front of me, his smile less wide but sympathetic.

“I think we should probably talk, don’t you?” He asked as he took another step and closed the door. I stood silently, waiting for him to start this conversation he thought was necessary.

“Listen Harry, I know about your feelings for Selena, and I want to start this off by saying I’m not mad, I get it… I mean you’re her best friend, so really it was inevitable that at some point you would fall for her…” I was surprised by what he was saying. Part of me thought that when he had said we needed to talk that he meant with his fists, “I don’t think what you’re doing is fair though... on anyone.” I raised my eyebrows but didn’t say anything. I hated how reasonable he was being about the whole thing.

“What you’re doing, it’s only going to hurt everyone involved eventually… I’m not stupid, I know you’re getting into her head, I know that there are some old feelings there for you that she had before I came around, but the more you mess with her head, you’ll only end up breaking her heart when she can’t decide… and then there’s you and me… while you’re doing this, neither of us will ever have her fully which is only setting us up to get hurt…” Jared looked at me and I couldn’t believe everything that he was saying. He was so good at pretending to be oblivious that I never could have predicted this in a million years from him.

“So I guess it’s up to you, but if you really love her, you won’t want to hurt her.” And that was it. He turned on his heel and walked out of the room. I waited a few seconds before following him back into the room, pretending that no conversation of the sort had ever taken place even though inside I was considering what he was saying. Selena was sitting at the piano talking to Eleanor when I walked in, her dark eyes glancing over at me and holding my gaze for a few seconds and then looking back at her friend like it had never happened. That was the moment I knew that I couldn’t stop, even if I wanted to. One day, she would be mine. We all took her seats, ready for Selena to play finally.

“Okay, so this is a song I wrote called Never Be The Same.” She said in her soft voice before she began playing the piano gently.

“Something must’ve gone wrong in my brain… got your chemicals all in my veins… feeling all the highs, feeling all the pain…” I found myself instantly zoning in on her and she was the only one in the room, her voice so soft and sweet, I found it hard to concentrate on anything else.

“Now I’m seeing red, not thinking straight… Blurring all the lines, you intoxicate me…” I felt like she was taking every word that I had ever thought about her and singing them back to me. I felt myself hoping with all my heart that she was singing about me and not him. That she felt the same way that I did whenever she stood too close.

“…It’s you babe… And I’m a sucker for the way that you move, babe… And I could try to run, but it would be useless, you’re to blame… Just one hit of you, I know I’ll never be the same…” I looked over to Jared and saw him looking back at me and knew that we were both thinking the same thing, who was she singing about? I remembered how she was after she met Jared, and knew that this song could have easily been written just after they met or more recently when I had been pulling her in. She had her eyes closed and I wanted to know so badly what she was thinking about.

“…You said ‘stop playing it safe girl, I want to see you lose control’…” I tried to stop thinking about how many times I had almost said that, trying not to jump to conclusions that she was talking about me and just listen to the rest of the song. I knew in reality there was no way for either of us to tell who it was without her telling us, or we would be presuming too much. I hoped she would one day. I hoped she would tell me it was about me.

Notes

I know the last two chapters have been short but I hope you enjoyed them anyway!

Selena: Never Be The Same - Camila Cabello (acoustic cover)

Thank you for reading! Please let me know what you think!

All the love,

Lola xo