Always By Your Side
Part One
How can you feel as though you’re on top of the world one moment but then a moment later it’s as though you are falling into a never ending black hole?
Mae Summer feels this way almost every day. She has been feeling this way for over two months. Sometimes Mae forgets she’s still alive when she spends most days crying under the covers in bed, barely eating and what also feels like barely breathing.
She can’t remember the last time she ate until she was full or had a long relaxing bath. Mae, for the first time, understood the feeling of missing a part of her, more than that if so. And she hated it. She’s always been one who tries to stay positive and make things better. Not this time. She sees no light at the end of the tunnel, she’s still lost in the dark, feeling for a hand, his hand, to pull her out but she feels nothing. She has never dealt with losing someone so important to her before. She would say that she’s doing the best she can to get by since this nightmare began but that would be a lie. All of this is too much for her to handle.
Though she isn’t alone in this with her friends and family by her side, she still feels the loneliness in her heart.
She cries long hours throughout the day for him. She longs for his kisses, to hear his laughter, to hear him talk about his day at the children’s hospital, making a meal together like they always did and especially the late night chats and cuddles.
Everything she ever experienced with him; they can never do together again. It’s all in the past now and they’ve only become her greatest memories and they are the most wonderful ones that she will forever look back on and hold close to her heart. Never will she forget Niall Horan.
Mae Summers met Niall Horan at the age of twelve. Both their mothers were nurses and had worked together at the same hospital. Sometimes Mae and her father would drop off lunch or dinner at the hospital a few days a week while her mother, Bethany, worked long hours. She was introduced to Zoey -Mrs. Horan- who right away came to liking her. The next time she sees her, the woman tells the Summers family that she has a son Mae’s age. The following week she meets Niall Horan- a bright, funny, (also a bit annoying) outgoing boy. Mae never really properly talked to a boy before so she was nervous as they spoke –while their parents chatted aside and also watched them with interest- but she began to smile and laugh with him as they found things in common. Like how they both didn’t like Britney Spears but loved The Beatles instead. How they would rather sleep all day until the sun went down and stay up all night to watch the moon and the stars.
After this chat they made plans with their parents so they could see each other again. Many times they see each other until they became the best of friends by the end of the year. They grew so close to the point that after their middle school years they wanted to go to high school together. With that, the Summers’ and Horan’s decided to put them in private school together. With more time together, Niall and Mae couldn’t have been more grateful for what their parents had did. They had special bond and there was not a chance their parents wanted to break that.
It remained a tight bond throughout their teen years until at the age of seventeen did Niall Horan tell Mae one night as they watched the stars that he loved her. Despite him having a girlfriend the year before, it didn’t feel right, it didn’t affect his heart, there was no love. But with Mae, it was different. His feelings for her grew every day and there was not a chance in hell that he was going to let some asshole in their school claim her. Telling her what he felt was a risk but also not telling her his feelings would make him regret it one day. It was now or never.
“I love you, Mae.”
At first she said it back right away because she did love him but she had no clue his words meant more than the love between two friends.
When he intertwined their fingers and brought his face so close to hers until she saw what his eyes held did she then understand his three words before.
He loved her. He loved her with every fiber of his being. Every love song he ever listened to he thought of Mae. He loved the way she scrunched up her nose when she was confused and found something disgusting. He adored the crinkles that appeared by her eyes when she laughed. Every smile she gave him made him think about on the first time they met. How when he finally got her to smile and laugh it had felt like an accomplishment, it gave him butterflies of his own. When he looks back at those times, he realizes that maybe he did love her back then too; he just didn’t know it at the time. Seeing her constantly happy made him want to remember her that way forever. There wasn’t a single thing he wouldn’t do for Mae and she knew that. She felt the same exact way about him. She had developed feelings for Niall a year at before sixteen years old and she never could have imagined that he would feel the same way. Mae thought she was going to be stuck in the friend zone for the rest of their lives.
Although there was little doubt in her mind about what the possibility of them breaking up, she was positive that Niall was the one. He was the only person who truly cared about her this way besides her family. She had never trusted someone as much as she did with Niall. The way they knew each other inside and out, she was sure there couldn’t be anyone as right for her as Niall was.
“I mean, I feel, um, I have feelings for you, I know I do. You mean so much to me and we may be still young but I don’t care, I love you,” his voice and body carries nervousness.
She gives him a gentle yet loving smile while tears spring in her eyes.
“I love you, Niall, the same exact way you say that you feel about me.”
It was one night a year after their confession when they were filling out applications to the universities they wanted to attend did they discuss their futures together. Surprisingly it was not she who brought it up but Niall. He pulled her onto his bed and wrapped his arms around her while pulling her close until their chests were pressed against one another, their socked feet rubbing together.
“Do you think we can do this? The whole long-distant relationship thing I mean…” His voice carried some worry. “What it becomes complicated? What if you meet someone else, I can’t stop what the universe has planned for us but I know for sure I don’t want to lose you.”
“Oh Niall,” she laughs softly at the worried lines that appear on his forehead. She made sure he was looking right at her before she spoke again. “I’m not going to go anywhere. Why would I want to throw away all that has been built between us over the past six years? It doesn’t matter how far or long we’re apart. I believe I will want you for the next sixty years just like I wanted you two years ago and as I do right now.”
At the promise of her words he smiles brightly and kisses her nose delicately. “Only sixty years? I was thinking one hundred years!”
She shakes her head and laughs, “if you think we’ll get that far then I promise to be yours for the next one hundred years, Niall Horan.” She sticks out her pinky in front of them.
He chuckles back but happily wraps his pinky with hers to seal the deal. “And I promise to be yours for the next one hundred years, Mae Summers.”
After graduation they spent the summer side by side together. Most days it seemed they were caught under the sheets, always showing each other how much they loved one another. And when they weren’t in bed they were off on an adventure somewhere, sometimes causing harmless trouble until they were laughing about it for days. Most weekends they were off on little road trips, always finding the best spots to look at the stars. Never did they ever go in a crowded place, always making sure they never went to the same place twice. It was like this the whole summer until they had to separate.
Niall went to UCLA to study to be nurse just like his mom, while Mae stayed behind to help take over her grandfather’s animal shelter. She has always loved animals. And when she wasn’t accepted into the colleges she wanted to go to, she was offered to work full time at the shelter. She went to a local community college to become a teacher. She was still unsure what age group she would like to teach for but over time she would decide.
They both admitted it was harder than they thought- the challenge of long-distance relationship. They argued sometimes out of frustration of missing each other; most times they fought out of being stressed out and taking it out on the other. Mae was the one who would cry when Niall raised his voice at her. He was the one who needed reassurance from her that they would both get by and that they needed to focus on the things they truly wanted. Niall’s answer was always ‘you’. Her replies were always ‘I’m still here, always’. Then all would be fine until they visited each other on and off over time, becoming Niall and Mae again was always the greatest times until they parted ways.
They reunited after three years for good when Niall graduated with a bachelor’s degree for nursing. Mae had never seen him look so accomplished and happy before when he was called up to receive his diploma. She also never cheered and clapped so loud in her life but she couldn’t help be so proud of him. Niall gave her the goofiest of smiles and waved at her, her family, and his parents. Mae didn’t graduate with a bachelor’s degree in teaching until a year later. Niall was the loudest person at the graduation ceremony; she blushed in embarrassment but inside her heart bursts with pride and love. Along this time both she and Niall moved into an apartment together and by then he was already working in one of the biggest children hospitals in the city. He loved kids. He always thought that they could always use some cheering up; he always made them feel important and smile even when they were scared inside. It always melted Mae’s heart when he came home to their apartment after one of his sifts and tell her about the children who made him laugh or made him a drawing. She admired him, she adored him.
When they were twenty-two years old, they talked about having children for the first time. Niall was never afraid to express how much he wanted kids of his own with her.
“I want us to have four. But I’m hoping when we decide to have our last kid we’ll end getting twins so then we end up with five,” he smiles sheepishly at Mae. She laughs and kisses his cheek.
“Niall you’re crazy! Five? Maybe three at the most…”
He frowns at her response and lays his head on her thighs. She softly smiles down at him while she plays with his hair. “Only three?” he shakes his head at the idea. “No, I want as many babies with you, Mae. They’ll be beautiful like me, I mean, like you.” He winks at her.
“Are you trying to butter me up Horan?” She asks questionably with a giggle.
He smirks and shrugs his shoulders. “Maybe… but honestly can you just think about it?”
“We still have time so yes, I’ll think about it.” She agrees though she still isn’t sold on the idea of four or five kids.
“We can name the girls Penny, Lucy, and Prudence!” He says excitedly.
She gives him funny look, “I see what you did there and while I like Penny and Lucy, I don’t know about Prudence.”
“Can you imagine how annoyed they’d be as teenagers when we sing the songs to them?” He laughs out loud and begins to sing, “Lucy in the sky with diamonds... Dear prudence, won’t you come out to play… penny lane is in my ears and in my eyes.”
She kisses his forehead and shakes her head. “Poor girls will want to change their names by the time they move out for college.”
“Nope, never going to happen, they are going to love their names and also they’re gonna stay here forever with us,” Niall says as if the decision is made up.
“Look at you, already protective of our imaginary kids,” Mae smiles at him.
He smiles back. “I was hoping they wouldn’t be imaginary for too long though…”
She looks at Niall with shock. “Niall… you want us to be parents now? But we aren’t even married and-”
“I know, but when I do pop the question, I want us to both be ready to start our life together. I really do want it all with you.”
Mae couldn’t help but tear up at his positivity and determination. He really did love her. No matter how many times she questioned why he did, she never got used to his fondness and love.
Five months after their talk about children, the big question was popped at the lake as they were lying on the grass looking at constellations.
“Come here,” Niall breaks their concentration from gazing at the stars. He pulls her close just like always. He loved holding her, it reminded him that she was real, that he was hers, she was his.
“You know when I first realized I was in love with you it was when Cody Allen asked you out to homecoming. I was going to ask you but he asked you first. I, I really didn’t like it and I didn’t understand why. As your best friend I should’ve been happy for you but… I wasn’t. I was so used to it being just you and me that the thought of someone catching your eye made me realize it wasn’t going to be two of us for long. I was jealous and upset. Then I told myself you deserved better than Cody. But when you told me that you said no to him, I was so relieved. Yet I kept asking myself why. Why was I happy that you said no? It was because I wanted to go with you more than anything. I wanted to ring your doorbell and be the first guy at our school to see you in a pretty dress. I wanted to have the first dance with you to any song but mostly to slow one. I wanted to be able to hold your hand throughout the night and even kiss your cheek as I dropped you off at your door. When the thought of kissing you popped into my head I knew I was screwed. You had my heart. You always had it. You’re the only girl, hell, the only person, who has ever truly understood that there’s more than the happy-outgoing Niall Horan that everyone else knows. That sometimes I’m not always going to be that guy, but you’ll be there to understand and help me anyways. You’re not afraid to express yourself in front of me and you don’t flinch when I do with you. That’s when I realized that I loved you, and the thought of you trying to understand someone the way you understand me honestly made me want to cry like a baby because you’re my best friend. I’ve been thinking though... your other half can be your best friend and so much more. Your girlfriend or wife can be your best friend. That’s what I wanted back then and that is what I still want now. I would love for my best friend to become more than just my girlfriend, I would love her to become my wife.
I have never regretted meeting you and I won’t regret being more with you- I never will. You were someone waiting for me - which is really crazy to believe- but it’s true. I’m sounding so sappy right now but there’s a reason for all this mush talking, I promise. I just need to say one more thing.” He sits them both up.
“I never really believed you could only love one person in your life. And I still don’t believe that but only because I believe I will love our children and grandchildren one day as much as I love you. I believe the life that I’m going to begin with you will only have me fall for you more with each passing day. It’ll feel like my fucking heart is going to burst. I know deep down that you’re going to make me a happy man and I promise to make you as happy as possible too. I know there will be times when we will fight, it won’t all be smiles, but I also promise not to let you walk out or give up on us. I fuckin’ promise we’ll get through the rough times somehow.” Her heart is thumping out of her chest and she doesn’t know what to make of the situation. Of course she knew that this day was going to come because they talked about it before but now it’s actually happening. Not a second later, Niall pulls out a small black velvet box from his jacket pocket.
He opens it to reveal a silver single- diamond ring. It looks very antique which is Mae’s style so she immediately falls in love with it, Niall truly does know her.
“I know what your answer will be but I need to ask you because I need to hear it, I need to know that we are in this together because I’m ready to dive right in. I’m so ready to start my life with you and to never let you go. Mae Summers, I love you, please, marry me?” He holds the ring out to her. She watches his reaction for a second before nodding her head, covering her mouth with her left hand so he won’t see her bottom lip tremble even though her eyes are shining with tears. She tries to get it together a few seconds later and takes away her hand so she can speak but not before she takes his other hand that is slightly shaking on his lap.
“I love you with all my heart,” she says truthfully. “I was yours the day we met- I just didn’t know it at the time. Though I know now, I want nothing more to be your wife, to have a family of our own and to grow old with you for the next one hundred years.” She lets go of his hand and holds out her pinky to him.
He gives her a teary smile and wraps his pinky with hers in promise. “So that’s a yes?”
She laughs and nods her head. “It’s a yes!”
Niall’s contagious laugh echoes into the night along with Mae’s. He puts the ring onto her forth finger on her right hand. She looks at it for a second before she jumps on Niall and wraps her arms around his neck to kiss him on his chapped -yet warm- lips.
He kisses her back with passion and sweetness. He pulls away then has them both stand up and tugs her away from their blanket on the ground so they can stand in the middle of the clearing. He takes his phone out of the front pocket of his jeans and gives her a wink before playing In My Life by The Beatles, their favorite Beatles song. He puts the phone on the grass and offers her hand for a slow dance. They smile at each other with so much affection and come together closely until they’re holding one another until they sway side to side. Kisses are given every minute with giggles out of happiness. They cherish this special moment for it will be a story they will tell one day.
They dance all night long in the moonlight with her in middle of his chest wrapped in his arms.
I'm worried due to the beginning of part one...
10/11/17