Stairway To Heaven

I may have a better relationship with my mother then Sofia, but even I get bitchy when my mother calls me on my cellphone when I try to sleep in. It’s Saturday, I have the right to sleep as long as I want to. Apparently, my mother thinks differently.

“What,” I grumble irritated. I must be quite the sight with my messy bed hair and wrinkled right side of my face. I always sleep on my side but right now I’m lying on my back.

“You don’t have to take that tone with me.” She says it like she is really hurt that I’m a bit grumpy. She knows it makes me feel guilty, with all three of her children she knows what makes them tick. She usually uses that knowledge for good. But not today.

“Sorry mum.” I sigh and run a hand down my face. My eyes throb and I press them closed for a moment. “You phoned me awake. That’s all.”

“You’re still in your bed?” my mum exclaims.

This is the first time she’s called me on a Saturday. Usually, she calls me on Friday, to check how my week went. But as I did not pick up last night as I was out, she must have decided to try Saturday morning instead. That I want to sleep in because I was out late last night apparently hasn’t crossed her mind.

“I sleep in every Saturday. It’s the weekend, mum. I’m on a break from uni right now.”

My mum must have realized the validity of this argument because she changes the subject. “I called because Li told me that Zayn has a new girlfriend.”

Irritation bubbles up. I have to bite my tongue not to snap at my mum. I have told my family, like I told my friends, not to mention the Z word. And here is my mother, doing just that. I’m not mad at my brother, of course, as he probably only asked my mum to check on how I was doing. Li has always been very respectful of my wishes.

“What should I care who he shags.” I try going for a nonchalant tone of voice but instead I sound as irritated as I am. “Now if you don’t mind, I’m going to hang up. I’ve got some more sleeping to do.”

“But..”

I hang up, switch off my phone and bury my head into my pillow. I grunt my frustration into the really nicely smelling cotton.
Why did my mother have to mention him? I’m trying my best to not think about him and I managed really well but now that my mum had called me to ask if I knew he’s shagging someone new, I’m thinking of him again It just won’t do.

The cure to all unwanted thoughts is an occupied mind. So, no lingering in bed in the hope that I will fall asleep again. I’m going to have breakfast.

When I walk into the kitchen two minutes later, still only dressed in the shirt I sleep in, Sofia is sitting at the dinner table. There’s a bowl of cereal in front of her but she isn’t eating from it. Instead, she’s texting, probably that Louis guy.

“Where’s Hansa?” I ask her as I walk to the kitchen counter to get my own breakfast.

“She’s already started studying,” Sofia replies. Even though I can’t see her, I know she’s rolling her eyes.

“This early?” I ask, surprised. I know Hansa likes studying, but this early? I could never. My brain is still mush right now.

“Yeah. She does that every Saturday. She’s usually back when you finally emerge from your Saturday morning hibernation. She’ll be back in half an hour.”

“So, how was Louis?” I ask. My lips have pulled into a grin even though Sofia can’t see me.

Sex is one of the few things I can’t talk to Hansa about. But Sofia, she likes to talking sex with me. At first, I had been surprised at her eagerness to hear about my sexual exploits. For some reasons she liked hearing about my sexual shenanigans just as much as she liked talking about her own.

“How was blonde Irish bloke?” Sofia shoots back.

I stop preparing my sandwich to turn around and stare at my friend with one eyebrow raised. She looks up from her phone as if she can feel my eyes on her and looks at me with a grin that spans her whole face. “Did he curse in Gaelic when he came?”

Sofia’s brashness, though familiar, never fails to make my cheeks turn red. This time is no different. I can feel my cheeks heat up.
“I wouldn’t know how he sounds when he comes. We didn’t shag.”

“What?” Sofia exclaims. The humor has disappeared from her face, instead, there is shock written all over it. “Why? He totally wanted to shag you. He wasn’t your type, was that it?”

“No, no. He was totally my type.” I cross my arms and bite my lip. “It just didn’t happen. He left with his friends. But even if he had invited me to his place, I think I would’ve still said no.”

I don’t know why, but I really wouldn’t have taken Niall up on that offer if he had asked me. Sure, he is totally shaggable, but for some reason, it would’ve been inappropriate to hop into bed together last night. Maybe because I had really liked the conversation we had.
“Why? If you’re attracted to him and he to you, why wouldn’t you shag him?”

Instead of answering right away, I turn around again and start preparing my sandwich again.

“Well?”

I open my mouth to reply but then my phone starts beeping from where I have put it on the kitchen counter, letting me know that I have a text.

I pull the phone towards me and look at the display. I can feel my heart skip a beat when I see that Niall has sent me a text. I send him a text when I returned to my dorm last night, so he now has my number.


“Who’s that?” Sofia asks.

“It’s Niall. He’s asking me if I want to get coffee with him at three,” I tell Sofia. My eyes are glued to the screen of my phone as my fingers hover over the keys. I’m not sure if I should say no or yes to Niall’s invitation.

Sofia thinks I should go, of course. “Say yes. He’ll pay for your coffee and you’ll thank him by shagging his brains out.”

“Sofia,"I exclaim in exasperation. "I didn’t want to sleep with Niall last night and I don’t want to sleep with him now. Just drop the subject, okay? When I do end up sleeping with him, you’ll be the first to know.”

“I better be.” Apparently, she isn’t faced by my irritation.

I’ll be there. Meet up at the entrance of library?


After I have sent the text, I once again continue with my sandwich. But then suddenly, there’s a loud knocking on the door. The person must be very eager to get in because he doesn’t let up.

“Can you get that,” I ask Sofia.

“Okay. Okay.” I’m not sure if she’s talking to me or the person who is still knocking on the door.

My sandwich is done, so I walk towards the table, a glass of milk in one hand and the plate with my breakfast in the other when Sofia opens the door. I change a glance at the person who is so eager to see us this morning. It’s a boy with brown hair and piercing green eyes. He has full lips and broad shoulders. He doesn’t look happy. The angry set of his lips stops me dead in my tracks.

“Harry?” Sofia sounds surprised to see him. Could it be that this is the Harry she slept with two nights ago? Sofia’s voice takes on an angry tone. “I told you I didn’t want to hang out.”

“Yeah, I know. I just read your text,” Liam grumbles angrily. “I’m here because I demand an explanation.”

Sofia huffs. “I don’t have to give you an explanation. I can tell you to fuck off without having to share with you why.”

So, she had not listened to my advice to be gentle with letting Harry down. The scene Harry is now causing was one of the reasons why I had told her to not tell him to get lost in a crude manner.

Usually, girls have difficulty with separating a night of passion with the start of a relationship. It is girls who bombard boys with texts and missed calls. But this situation is the other way around. It is Harry who is demanding an explanation or something else that Sofia is not willing to give him.

“Excuse me.”

Hansa has appeared behind Harry. She’s looking at him with curious eyes. Harry steps aside so Hansa can enter the apartment. Hansa walks past him and goes straight for me. Her eyes ask me what the hell is going on.

“He’s the boy from two nights ago,” I whisper so Sofia won’t hear we’re talking about her. “He wants to know why she told him to fuck off.”

“She did that?” Hansa gasps. She presses the books she’s holding closer to her chest and turns so we are standing shoulder to shoulder. We’re the audience and the argument unfolding in the doorway is the play.

“There are probably tons of girls who would love to go on a date with you. Why don’t you go on a date with one of them?”

I have to admit, Harry is very fit, with his big lips, piercing green eyes and broad chest. A lot of girls are into guys that look like that. So, why is he being so difficult? There is no way that Sofia is the only girl who has ever paid him any attention.

“Or is it because I’m not interested.” Sofia’s voice has taken on a hostile tone. “Are you one of those guys who’s only interested in the chase?”

It would explain Harry’s behavior, but then again he doesn’t look like that type of guy. He looks like a sweetheart, even when he’s angry. He doesn’t look like a player. But then again, the best never do.

“No. I’m not like that.” Harry looks offended. “I’m only here because I wanted to know why you thought it okay to tell me to ‘fuck off’. I didn’t do anything to warrant such a reaction.”

Sofia sighs and runs a hand over her face. Her shoulders sag. “Okay.” She takes a deep breath before she continues. “I’m sorry for hurting your feelings. It wasn’t my intention. I just don’t really like it when people who aren’t supposed to have my number, call me. You freaked me out.”

I hadn’t known that. I thought she was just irritated when she received the text. I hadn’t seen any signs of fear on her face. Either she’s lying to Harry or I can’t read my friends, as well as I, think I can.

Harry looks a little less angry now that Sofia has apologized. He nods his head. “Apology accepted. Try to let the next guy down a little more gently.”

The play is over and the players disappear from the stage. Sofia closes the door and walks back towards the dinner table.
“Not a word,” Sofia hisses at both me and Hansa. “I’m not in the mood for lectures right now.”

“Okay,” Hansa shrugs her shoulders. She turns around and walks away.

Sofia sits down at the table and puts her head in her hands. She groans in frustration. “Of course I had to fuck a sensitive one.”
As Sofia doesn’t want a lecture, I don’t react to the insensitive statement. Instead, I sit down on the chair opposite hers and finally start in my late breakfast.

I watch Sofia while I eat. She is fiddling with her phone. Her eyebrows are scrounged up and she’s biting her bottom lip. Apparently, whatever she’s doing on her phone requires concentration. And it must be something embarrassing because her cheeks suddenly turn red.

Her head shoots up and she’s looking at me with wide eyes. She opens her mouth to say something but then Hansa sits down on the chair next to mine and Sofia shuts her mouth. Whatever she wanted to say, she apparently can’t say it in front of Hansa.

“Bao has a date today,” Sofia announces and she smiles at Hansa. She sounds disappointed but resigned at the same time. “She doesn’t want to shag him but meeting up for tea is totally fine.”

“You’re going on a date?” Hansa is grinning from ear to ear. “That’s great. Congrats.”

“ ‘S not a date,” I mumble from behind my hand. I still have some food left in my mouth, I don’t want Sofia to see the massacre. “We’re just going to hang out.”

“Do you want to date him?” Hansa wants to know. Her eyes are eager. She really wants me to go on a date.
“Yeah, but only after I’ve figured out his motives.”

“Motives?” Hansa exclaims.

“You know…” I gesticulate with my hand while I swallow the last piece of my sandwich. “If he wants to date me, I want to find out why he wants to. I don’t want to date a guy who only is interested because of who I used to date.”

“Oh.” Hansa’s mouth forms a perfect ‘o’. “Right. That’s understandable. Are you going to just ask him when he asks you out?”
“No. That would be weird."I shake my head. "No. I’m going to wait a few days for him to mention his name. If he doesn’t, I’m going to agree to go on a date with him, if he asks.”

I can never be a hundred percent sure about Niall’s motives for talking to me yesterday and him asking me to have lunch with him today, but if he doesn’t mention Z the next couple of days, I’m allowing myself to believe that Niall is interested in me because of me.
Later on in the day, Niall sends me a message to meet him at the library. So, a couple of hours later, I’m making my way to its blue doors. Niall has already spotted me and is grinning while he’s watching me approach.

He looks as fit as I remember. Stunning blue eyes, blonde hair that streaked with brown, broad shoulders and toned arms and a grin that spreads from ear to ear. He’s dressed in lose-fitted jeans and shirt with the logo of Fifty Seconds Of Summer on it. It’s one of his favorite new bands. He’d been eager when I told him I’d never heard of the band. He’d grabbed my phone and proceeded to add a string of their songs to my Spotify library. I listened to a few of them today and they were okay. I won’t be going to any of their concerts or buying any of their albums, though, but they’re fun to listen to while I write a paper.

“How you’re doing?” I ask Niall.

“Good and you made my day even better,” Niall replies.

The soft summer breeze ruffles the yellow dress I’m wearing as I stand in front of Niall. He is standing with his hands in his pockets and with a look in his eyes that for a moment, halts my breath.

Niall is flirting with me, right? He must be, with the way he’s looking at me. Like he likes what he sees. It makes me feel fascinating, the way that the people who asked me a million questions about my former relationship never have.

I can feel my cheeks heat up. My voice is croaky when I ask, “Where’re we going?”

“There’s a nice café just off campus. Me and my mates went there once. Their coffee is top notch. Do you drink coffee?”

“Yes. I … ah …I do,” I murmur.

“Good.” Niall smiles at me.

We start walking. Some people look at us as we pass them, but most of them don’t even spare us a glance, for which I’m thankful. If Niall notices the few people staring, he doesn’t let it show.

“So, I listen to Fifty Seconds Of Summer. They’re quite nice.”

For some reason, Niall finds this amusing because he snickers. He turns his head to look at me. There’s amusement dancing in his eyes. “It’s a miracle you were able to find their music.”

“Why is that?” I ask, the eyebrows above my eyes furrowed in confusion
.
“Because they’re called Five Seconds Of Summer,” Niall tells me. He has a smile on his face but it’s not an unfriendly one.
Now my cheeks are red for a whole other reason. I snicker at my own mistake. As Niall’s remark was not mean-spirited, there is no reason for me to be mad at him.

“That’s why I was only able to find anything when I typed Amnesia.”

It had struck me as strange when I couldn’t find anything on Spotify when I searched on Fifty Seconds Of Summer in my library. I hate spelled it correctly. But after something popped up when I searched on Amnesia, I hadn’t checked the spelling of the band’s name.

The café that Niall had gone to with his mates is only a five-minute walk from campus and at the edge of the center of the town. It isn’t too crowded when Niall and I arrive, even though it’s a small establishment. Niall walks to the back of the café and I follow him. Almost nobody watches us, only the people sitting at the tables that we walk past look up from the cups of coffee they’re nursing or the newspapers they’re reading.

Niall sits down at the table and gestures me to sit opposite him. I sit down on the chair he indicated and grab the coffee menu. Niall smiles at me before his face to disappears behind the menu.

Well, there is a lot to choose from and all of the drinks have funny names. No simple cappuccino is served here, apparently. Which I don’t mind, at all. I love trying new things. That is when it comes to food and drinks. With experiences, not so much.

A couple of drinks look delicious. Listed on the menu is coffee with caramel, chocolate, and whipped cream, one with whipped cream and banana liqueur, another is with pumpkin spice and chocolate and yet another with strawberry syrup and milk.

“What can you recommend?”

Niall looks up from his menu. He narrows his eyes and taps his chin. Apparently, Niall thinks recommending me a drink is serious business.

I can’t help but feel flattered and a little bit hopeful. If he thinks it’s important for him to get right what kind of coffee I would like, it must mean he sees me as a person. As an individual. He could’ve chosen the one he had last time he was in this café to make things easy for him, but instead he is giving it actual thought. But that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t think of me as the ex off. Maybe he’s being so nice because he wants to prove that he can be nicer to me than Zayn was.

I know that there isn’t a boy on this planet who doesn’t know I’m his ex. I’m not disillusioned enough to hope for a boy who when he starts dating me, doesn’t compare what kind of boyfriend he is with what kind of boyfriend Zayn was. All I can hope for is a boy who sees me as an individual and not a part of a relationship that ended. And it appears Niall sees me as my own person.
“I think you’d like the Strawberry Twist.”

The Strawberry Twist was one of the drinks that I was considering. The fact that Niall chose one of the options I selected myself, makes something flutter in my chest. He has only known me for two days, and he already knows what I like.

“Why the Strawberry Twist?” I ask because I want to know if Niall guessed or if there is another reason Niall seems to know me so well.

Niall’s ears turn slightly pink but his smile never falters. “Because of the story, you told me yesterday. Whenever your weird aunt upset you, your mother lets you eat strawberries. When we met up at the library, you looked a bit put out, so when you asked me to recommend you a drink, I chose one with strawberries.”

It is true that the weird morning I had today has made me feel wrong-footed all day, but I hadn’t expected Niall to notice. I have behaved quite normal while in Niall’s company.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Niall’s voice is soft and concern shines through in his eyes. He genuinely is worried about me and wants to help.

“No. It’s okay.” I can’t even explain to myself why this Harry guy showing up rattled me so much, much less to Niall. I mean, he was just a guy who didn’t like the way he was treated and had come to demand an explanation. Sure, he was a bit aggressive, but he didn’t threaten us or Sofia. So, why? Why has it made such an impression on me?

If Niall knew me better, maybe he could have provided me with the answer, but as it is, if he would try to explain it, he would just be guessing. And anyway, it is not important. I will be over it by tomorrow morning.

“Okay, but if you ever want to talk about it, I’m there for you,” Niall promises. His eyes look earnest as they catch mine.

Now it’s my turn to become red in the face. I’ve really been blushing a lot today.

“Thank you. I don’t think I need to take you up on the offer, but thank you.” I smile at Niall and he smiles back. “Now, on to more interesting topics, what is your favorite music?”

He does not say, Zeeing Payne which is a relief to me. If he’s not a fan, the chances of Niall not wanting me for what I was in the past have increased. He could be lying, of course, but Niall doesn’t seem as the type to lie.

The next hour, we eat, we drink our coffee and talk. With every topic we discuss, it feels like layer after layer is being stripped away. I am unraveling Niall and Niall is unraveling me. Why it feels like this is a mystery to me. We’re only talking about hobbies, family, and professors, nothing to make the conversation intimate.

That is, until Niall asks, “Have you been on any dates since you and your ex broke up?”

The look in his eyes is neutral, but there is tension in the set of his mouth. The answer is important to him and he tries his best not to let it show.

It has to mean that Niall wants to know if it’s okay for him to ask me out on a date, hasn’t it? Do I want him to ask me out on a date? I’m still not sure if he likes me for me. But then again, I will never be. There will always be the chance that he’s lying.

“I haven’t been on a date.” I lower my eyes and stare at my half-drunk cup of coffee. The red-tinted liquid has stopped steaming a couple of minutes ago. That’s how long we’ve been talking. “Sofia, my friend, thinks I need to sleep with some men to get my ex out of my system. Haven’t been able to, yet.”

“Get your ex out of your system or sleeping with other men?”

There’s no judgment in his voice or on his face as I look up. Niall, apparently, is not one of those guys who think that unlike men, women shouldn’t sleep around. He has scored yet another point.

“The second one. I haven’t found a guy I want to sleep with, yet.”

“What about me?” Niall asks, grin lopsided.

Though Niall is trying to sell the question as a joke, I can tell it’s only partially that. He actually wants to know.
“You’re nice and easy on the eyes.” I let my eyes wander over the parts of his body that are not obscured by the table. When my eyes return to his face, he’s blushing and his pupils are slightly dilated. The sight makes arousal heat up my cheeks as well as other parts of my body.

Niall wants me. Or at least, my body. He wants it for what it is, not for who has touched it before.

“Who knows, maybe in the future. Would you say yes?”

Niall’s voice takes on a playful tone as he says, “That’s for me to know and for you to find out.”

Well, I’m taking that as a yes. Only a mean person would not tell another right away that they didn’t want to have sex with them so they can reject them when they actually ask.

I smirk at Niall. “Cheeky.”

The coffee is lukewarm as I take a sip. It still tastes great, though. “So, have you dated? Since Mariah? Or did you sleep around like I’m supposed to?”

Mariah is the girl who Niall followed to England because he loved her so much.

“Last year, I went on a couple of dates. Haven’t been on any this semester.” He pauses. His eyes flit to his second cup of coffee for a brief moment before they focus once again on mine. The vulnerability that I had seen on his face for only a brief moment has disappeared. He looks as confident as ever. “Not because of the lack of free time. I fell in love. Or at least, I developed a crush on someone.”

Niall’s words make my heart drop. And by God, I feel mortified. Did I misinterpret his interest in me for flirting? Did I make a complete fool of myself when I all but admitted that I want to sleep with him?

My emotions must be plainly visible on my face because Niall grabs my hand. He looks at me with worried eyes.
“It was you. It is you I’m talking about. I developed a crush on you.”

Notes

Here is the next chapter. Please let me know your thoughts.