You Just Need to Breath to Feel My Heart Against Yours

Rae is tense, anxious. Has been tense and anxious for a week now, trying so hard to ignore it, trying to reason with herself that touring and creating music is literally Louis' job. She doesn't resent that, she knows it is, knows he loves doing it, that all five boys love doing it. Love to sing, to write, to perform in front of their loyal fans, but it doesn't change the fact that Rae feels a little sour because of it. If only for the reason that Louis will be gone again, for three weeks this time. Will be gone longer once they really start their European tour...when they eventually tour in America again.

So, to take her mind off of the impending leave date, which is the day after next, Zayn asked her to accompany him to the art shop. (She also thinks he's still trying to make up for their row the other night). She's super thankful for it too, gladly taking the opportunity instead of trying to cuddle Louis to death and keep her bitter thoughts at bay. So, she had jumped up, gave a quick goodbye kiss to Louis, and followed Zayn out the door. Now here she is, in a small art store.

"Drawing on tour helps calm you?" Rae questions, looking at the colorful pastel pencils.

Zayn hums, picking out a pack of charcoal tools. "It's my form of escape. Calms me nerves when it gets too much."

Rae nods. "I understand that."

Zayn smiles at her, briefly squeezes her elbow with his free hand. "We're all going to miss you, you know. Wish we could bring you with us. There might even be a tour photography position open."

His words make Rae falter, her fingers stuttering over soft paint brushes. "Don't joke about that."

He shrugs nonchalantly, placing the charcoal in the basket Rae's holding. It's filled with paints of all kinds; acrylic, spray, wood, and some other things she didn't know existed. Filled with new paint brushes and pencils, ranging from the normal sketching ones to the bright colorful ones that remind her of spring flowers.

"Could happen one day." Zayn muses, giving her a small smile. "S'your dream, is it not?"

Rae narrows her eyes. "You've been talking to Louis."

"Babes, Louis finds every opportunity to talk about you. He's the one who mentioned that job. Said you always wanted to travel the world as a photographer. Mentioned you passed up a travel magazine once. I mean, your photos are breathtaking."

Rae preens just a little. "In any case, even if that was a real open position, I wouldn't take it. Not now."

Nodding in understatement, Zayn says, "It's up to you." He picks out a few drawing pads.

She watches quietly as he continues to move around the store, placing things in the basket, and holding the bigger items he can't fit in it. A few minutes pass, Zayn having separated from Rae while she got distracted by artist portfolios. She had set the basket down by her feet, flipping through the plastic pages when a familiar sound catches her attention.

She glances around the shop for a moment, the lack of any cameras or equipment present. The sound goes off again and a spike of anxiety clenches at her heart. Rae looks towards the front of the shop, by the big window and immediately catches sight of at least five giant cameras. Some flashes go off, and Rae hopes that some of them are idiotic enough to not have the correct setting and their photos are ruined by the glare on the glass. However, these people are professionals, and the chance of that happening is not likely. She inhales slow and deep, counts to ten in her head, then goes back to flipping through the pages. There's nothing she can do about it now, seeing as they already have several shots of her.

"Zayn." Rae calls casually, still keeping her eyes on the book. There's a few moments of silence before Zayn responds from two rows behind her.

"What's up?" He answers, thankfully staying in the aisle he's in.

"Did you happen to make friends with paparazzi while I wasn't looking?"

There's a pause, then, "Fuck me." She hears his footsteps, and suddenly he's right next to her, blocking her from the cameras and pulling out his wallet. "Time to leave." Zayn picks up the basket from the floor, placing it on the counter.

"Would you be a doll, and check us out quickly please?" Rae sweetly asks the girl behind the counter.

She looks a little starstruck at the sight of Zayn, but then notices the men outside. She nods.
"I can call the police for you if you want."

Zayn shakes his head. "That'll take too long, but thank you." To Rae he says, "Keep your head down."

"They've already seen my face." Rae whispers, gripping his jacket.

She watches as the girl hurriedly but carefully places everything in the bags. She debates texting Louis, but Zayn's car is parked right out front, and walking a few feet from the door to the car shouldn't be that bad. Not as bad as it was several months ago at the hospital, and certainly not as horrible when the pap snuck into the ward. Finally, Zayn pays, grabs the four bags in one hand and grabs Rae's wrist with his other.

"Listen, Rae. I know you've been through this before, so just do what you did last time, yeah?"

"Last time I wanted to punch them in the face." Rae sneers as they get closer to the door.

Zayn halts and spins around, and pulls her behind a statue. "Fuck. I forgot."

"Forgot what?"

Zayns closes his eyes for a moment, exhaling like hes about to reveal a secret. "They know."

"They know? They know what exactly?" Rae demands, tone firm.

"About Ronan." He confesses.

Rae is going to murder someone, or at least, smack them. Murder might be too much. "How long?"

"The minute we left France." Zayn winces. "Someone, someone leaked the information. Even said how Louis fought to get to you."

Rae thinks it over, and then. "What the fuck?" She hisses, yanking him closer. "Are you telling me someone from your bloody team leaked Ronan's death!?"

Zayn nods. Rae is livid. Wants to break every single one of their expensive cameras. Wants to find every article printed and burn them all into ashes.

"I think we should go now." Rae tells him through clenched teeth.

"Right. Yeah. Come on. Stay close."

She figures Zayn says it softly because he knows how much she hate those men. Knows that it gives her really bad anxiety and thinks fleeting maybe that's why they hide the articles from her. She knows it's something they've done before, with how many times she's been spotted and the rumors that have been going around, that they locked down the media after the first incident. Rae grips the back of Zayn's jacket once they reach the doors, takes a deep breath and braces herself for whatever is about to come their way.

It's a very short distance from the front of the shop to Zayn's car sitting on the street. Rae keeps her head down as Zayn makes a beeline for his car, but the noises of the shutters and the comments from the men buzzing around them. Despite how much she tries to tune them out, she still picks up on their questions.

"Zayn why is she with you? Trouble with Louis?"

"Raelyn, are you cheating on him?"

"How are you holding up with the death of your brother?"

"Sorry for your loss. Good luck on tour, Zayn."

Well, Rae thinks bitterly, at least the last one was nice.

"Is Louis your sugar daddy?"

Rae halts, stopping Zayn just as he unlocks his car and opens the door, and looks over to the pap on her left. Rae laughs. She can't help but laugh loudly, abruptly at that ridiculous question. Zayn turns around, grabbing her elbow to pull her into the car.

"Ignore it, Rae." He mutters under his breath, nudging her to get in. But no. She doesn't want to ignore these people any longer, so she yanks her arm out of Zayn's hand and fully turns to face the men behind her.

"One," Rae holds up her middle finger to count, a saccharine smile on her face. "There's no trouble. Zayn just decided to ask his friend to come with him, thank you. Two-" She hold up her other middle finger, "you're fucking stupid to think I'd ever cheat on Louis so you can get that out of your thick head. Three," Rae drops her hands into fists at her sides, "my family is none of your damn business, so I'd appreciate if you were to keep your mouths shut about it, and four. Fuck you!"

With that, Rae gets into the car, and shuts the door behind her. She doesn't have to wait long until Zayn is on his side, starting the car and quickly driving off. There's a a few minutes of silence, Rae seething in her seat, until they reach the first traffic light, then Zayn is laughing. Rae whips her head to glare at him but he's hunched over the steering wheel laughing into the horn, and she can't help herself but smile, until she's laughing along with him. They stop to pick up some lunch on the way back, still chuckling while Rae sneaks chips from one of the bags.

"You're fantastic." Zayn says, sticking his hand into the bag on her lap.

Rae shrugs. "They're quite rude. You guys may get into trouble if you talk back, me however.
I am not bound by your crazy management, so I can say whatever the fuck I want."

"Louis almost always talks back."

"And he almost always gets into trouble, doesn't he?" Rae throws a chips at Zayn's face. He glares at her for all of two seconds before the light turns green.

"Mence."


When they reach Zayn's flat, they're immediately greeted by a phone shoved in their faces. Louis is showing them a video of what just happened thirty minutes ago, an apparent fan on the street catching the whole thing on her phone. Rae looks up from the phone and sees Niall trying not to laugh, Harry with a rather gleeful smile on his face, and Liam fondly shaking his head. Louis however, Louis is glaring at her.

"Oops?" Rae offers, shrugging her shoulders.

Louis' raises his eyebrows. "You got mobbed again, and all you say to this is "oops?""

"They're rude." Is all she says.

Louis hands his phone to Zayn, then pulls Rae in by her waist and kisses her fiercely. It catches Rae by surprise so much, that she's rather slow to react. Louis' hand is in her hair by the time Rae closes her eyes and responds, letting Louis traces her lips with his tongue until she opens her mouth. She accidentally lets out a small whimper, gripping his biceps for something to hold onto.

"Hey now, get a room you two." Niall laughs from somewhere behind them.

"No. There's only one room and it's mine." Zayn says, followed by a smack, probably hitting Niall.

When Louis finally pulls back, they're both breathing a little heavier, Louis' eyes incredible bright and glossy, with a lingering note of something that looks desire. Rae's heart skips a beat and a low burn start in her stomach, but she ignores it, smiling confused at him. She wipes her thumb across his bottom lip, shiny from the spontaneous kiss.

"I'm not complaining," Rae chuckles breathlessly, "but what was that for?"

Louis shrugs. "Just...proud of you. Really proud of you."

Rae smiles at him before leaning in to kiss him again. She keeps it soft and simple, but it still causes comments from the peanut gallery.

"Oi! Love birds, take it outside." Zayns scolds them playfully.

"What's the matter, Zayn?" Harry quips, "Perrie said no?"

"As a matter of fact, Harry, she said yes and I don't want you lot over here while she's here. So hurry up and eat and get your arses out of me flat!"

"Hey! Don't throw my chips at him, Liam, that's wasteful." Rae frowns.

Louis snatches the bag out of Liam's hands, grabs Rae by her wrist and drags her out of the foyer and into the kitchen, away from the small food fight. He's distracted by getting plates for their food, so Rae is able to sneak Louis' phone for herself. She starting scrolling through twitter, the source of where the video was posted, and clicks on the hashtag: Loussassygirlfriend.

There's already some of the pap pictures posted, along with several posts of the video. Rae didn't even notice the small crowd of people gathered on the street, probably wondering why there were paparazzo there. There's a good amount of hate tweets, it makes Rae roll her eyes from the immaturity of it, but there's an overwhelming amount of supportive ones. The phone is suddenly taken out of her hands.

"Don't Rae. It'll just upset you." Louis says gently, pocketing his phone.

"This is why I stay away from social media." She sighs, picking up a chip and playing with it.
"It's never going to be the same for me again, is it?"

Louis doesn't look her in the eye. Instead, his shoulder slump and there's a frown pulling at the corner of his mouth. "I'm sorry, love. I wish I could shield you from that stuff."

"You have, actually. Rather well, might I add." She throws her chip at Louis' forehead to get him to look at her. It works, even pulls a smile from him. "Why didn't you tell me about your management?'

"It didn't seem like the right time." He answers, "you didn't need another horrible thing to deal with, so I didn't tell you. We dealt with it. That person is gone, sacked. Got several parting words from all of us, even Paul and Alberto."

"Really?" Rae perks up.

"Yes." Louis mutter darkly. "You've got them wrapped around your little finger."

"They love me."

"I love you." Louis throws a chip at her. It bounces off her chin and onto the plate. Rae sticks her tongue out at him. "I am really glad you did that though."

"Yeah?"

"Of course." Louis smiles brightly at her. "My sassy little bird."

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Notes

Fuck, I love ironic song titles.

Thanks for reading! <3

-A