Bad Day:

The day after the funeral is spent mostly in bed because Rae is just exhausted, emotionally drained. Her eyes are so swollen from the night before that it barely feels like she can open them. So, she stays in bed, pressed firmly against Louis, because of course he stayed the night, with her head buried in the side of his ribs. He places soft little kisses against her eyelids, brings her tea along with the teabags to help bring the swelling down. He stays and puts on Breakfast At Tiffany's, followed by a few other classic movies, only leaving her side when necessary.

It's been a quiet, weepy day. Rae knows when Louis gently squeezes her hip, or arm or presses his lips against her temple, that he's ready to listen when she needs to speak. She does so when she tells him it's okay if he wants to go home and pack for the upcoming tour. That he should go see his family before he leaves, that she'll be okay because she has her mother as well. Reluctantly, he agrees, and as Rae walks him to the door, he turns around at the base of the stairs.

"I'm going to by you another cat and name him Cat."

It pulls a smile out of Raelyn for the first time that day. "Of course you are."

Then she nudges him towards the door. They stand on the porch, the moon shinning bright through a break in the clouds. Louis wraps her up tight in a comforting hug and kisses her deeply before he lets go.

He picks her chin up, staring directly in her eyes and says, "Here's looking at you, kid."

Rae laughs, pulling him back in for another hug. "We didn't even watch Casablanca. Oh my god, we didn't even watch Casablanca. How did we forget to watch Casablanca?"

"I promise we'll watch it when I get back, yeah?" Louis says, placing one last kiss on her forehead before stepping back. "I'll let you know when I get there. Call if you need anything, Rae, I mean it."

Rae nods and watches him walk to his car, and has to hide her smile behind her hand because of his next words.

"Of all the crazy lives, in all the crazy towns in the world, she walks into mine!"

As he drives away cackling, Rae thinks the end of a bad day wasn't so bad after all.


Good Day:

"I'm putting a portfolio together because I'm thinking of applying to some online magazine sites, and was wondering if you and the boys let me put some of your photos in?" Rae explains, handing Louis a picture of Zayn leaning against a tree in the distance.

It's one of the pictures from their park photoshoot outing, and it's beautiful, stunning really. Not for the first time, Louis is floored by how talented Raelyn actually is. She always seems to know where and how to find the right lighting, how to photograph people in raw, uninterrupted moments. Knows just how to pose her models if need be, and just absolutely captures any type of emotion so it plays out through the photo itself.

"In case some day if I want to apply for actual jobs." She continues. "I turned down a travel magazine once, you know."

“Why did you turn it down?” Louis inquires.

“It was right when Ronan got sick, and my parents….I couldn’t just go. I couldn’t just leave my mum. It wasn’t important to me.”

Louis levels her with a look, one eyebrow quirked up.

“Fine. It wasn't as important at the time and my priorities were with my family. Not traveling around the world pretending everything was okay back home. I couldn’t leave.” There's a tightness around Rae's eyes when she explains.

Louis leans over and pokes her nose just so he can see her scrunch it. “Sorry I asked.”

“Don’t be, it’s fine.” She gives him a smile. Then she shakes her head and sighs. “Anyway. I’m putting this together. I don't know, it's just a thought." She continues, shifting other photos around on the dinning table. "It might be silly, or all for nothing but-"

"It's not all for nothing." Louis interrupts, placing the photo in the pile he knows will be in the portfolio. "I've always said it, and I'll say it again, love. Your photos are amazing. You have such a talent, Rae, and I really think it's a great idea. You should really show people what you can do, how you can photograph. Show them the amazing eye you have for everything."

Rae pauses to look at him, her cheeks flushing lightly under the light. "Really? You honestly think so?"

"Always have. You should be an inspiration to people everywhere. You are to me."

"I-I'm your...I inspire you?"

Louis clears his throat, and decides to just go for it, because telling her will hopefully bring that beautiful smile back to her face. God, he misses that smile. "It's not like I wrote a song about you or anything....or two...maybe three."

The silence that stretches after that isn't bad, more like Rae is just stunned. If going by how her mouth is hanging open slightly, and it looks like the corners of her lips are upright. So, all good signs.

"You wrote a song," Rae begins slowly, placing her right hand on her chest, and Louis' eyes zero in on it, "about me? You wrote at least three songs about me?"

"Um. Yes? Yes." Louis nods, still watching her hand. She's not pressing into her healing scars yet. Again, good sign.

"I can't believe....oh my god, Louis. Is Through the Dark one of them?"

"Yes, yes it is."

The next thing Louis knows, Rae is launching herself at him and he wraps one arm around her waist, and braces his other hand on the table so they don't fall over. Rae is kissing him all over; his neck, his jaw, his nose and finally his lips. He kisses her back once he's over the initial shock of it, opening his mouth to let her kiss him deeper.

"It's such-" Rae speaks between quick little kisses to his lip, "a beautiful- song." She pulls back fully and the radiant smile on her beautiful face is worth every single second, and minute, and hour, and days he sent trying to find the right words to piece together a song for her. "I love you so much."

Louis brushes a few stray piece of hair away from her face. "I love you too. I love your smile, haven't seen it lately." He presses his thumb to the corner of her lip, and wishes this amount of happiness could stay in Rae forever.


Good day:

Niall comes over in a flurry of excitement, waving white pages clutched in his fist in the air. He startles MaryAnn, and Jasper who had been sitting on the stool in the kitchen eating lunch. Rae and Louis on the other hand, sit there as if Naill is just a light breeze, like a normal day.

"I've got all these ideas we have to try out Rae, because we're leaving soon and I have to know if you can ship cupcakes to a tour bus." Naill says, chatting away while stealing crisps from Louis plate.

Rae takes the slightly crumpled papers from him as Louis slaps the back of his hand. "Irish car bomb cupcakes? Um, yes!"

So they spend the rest of the day and evening baking new cupcake recipes, and again, Louis wishes this happiness Rae has right now would stay.



Bad Day:

Rae takes every single photograph of Ronan down from her walls, placing them in a folder, and putting them away in a drawer in her desk. Louis just watches her with a solemn expression, sitting in the circle chair. He wasn't expecting to find her doing this when he walked into her room. Before he could say anything, Rae had spotted him, narrowed her eyes and shook her head.

They haven't spoken a word to each other for the past hour, and Louis hasn't even properly greeted her. In fact, Rae seems to be deliberately avoiding Louis, keep a good three feet radius away from him. No talking, no touching, no kissing, no comfort. It makes his stomach churn and make him wonder, not for the first time, what will happen when he leaves for a world-wide tour.

When Raelyn finally finishes, she exists her room without acknowledging Louis. He just stares at the empty spaces on her walls, something sour burning in the back of his throat. Only three minutes pass by before Rae comes back, holding two wine glass and a bottle of red. She offers a glass to Louis. He takes it. Rae pours the wine. And that's that.



Bad day:

It's been a week since the funeral and two days just before the boys leaves for the UK leg of their tour, and Rae is currently glaring daggers at Zayn. He's matching her look fairly well, staring back at her with his arms crossed, mirroring hers. He's clutching a half empty wine bottle in one hand, while Rae is clutching his pack of cigarettes.

"Y'know Z, I'd really appreciate it if you didn't anger my girlfriend two days before we leave." Louis snips from behind Rae.

Zayn spares him a seconds glance. "Maybe if she didn't drink her liver into the ground, this wouldn't be an issue."

"So giving yourself lung disease is perfectly fine, but I can't have a few glasses of wine?" Rae sneers.

"I counted three empty bottles." Zayn says, waving his hand towards her kitchen.

"My mother lives here too."

"Plus, an empty bottle of Jameson, Balieys-"

"I baked with those!"

"Several single shot mini bottles, half a bottle of vodka-"

"Have you quite finished!?" Rae snaps, "did you go through our whole cabinet?"

"I'm just saying it's becoming dangerous, Rae." Zayn's anger switches to concern. "If you're not careful it'll lead down a very bad road."

Rae throws her hands up frustrated, looking over at Louis for help, who in return pinches the bridge of his nose with his fingers. Which means, as Rae takes it, he somewhat agrees with Zayn.

"Louis?" She questions incredulously.

Louis sighs, dropping his hand. "It could, eventually, if it continues, maybe, possibly-"

"Bloody Christ, Lou," Zayn interrupts, "just tell her it is."

"Will it Louis?" Rae asks, her anger suddenly seeping out of her. "Do you honestly think I...that I'm developing a drinking problem?"

Louis leans forward, taking her hand in his, pulling her closer. "No. Not, now, not yet at least. I think Zayn has a bit of a flare for dramatics, but babe, maybe you should just take it easy with the wine?"

Rae frowns. "Louis, you where there when I was making those cupcakes for Niall because he wanted to see if I could. Irish car bomb cupcakes. It has Jameson, Guinness and Baileys in it! The only time I tried it was to test the batter! I didn't drink any of that."

"I'm just saying, Raelyn," Zayn starts, his angry tone fading away, "is that there's better way of dealing with this instead of alcohol. You were absolutely smashed the last time."

"I'm sorry, my brother just died in my arms, did you think I'd just go skipping about!?" Acid drops in Rae's tone, hanging on every word. There's an uncomfortable tightness beginning to throb in her chest, and her hand twitches with the urge to press on it.

"Alright, enough!" Louis scolds, standing up and taking hold of Rae's other hand. It's been a habit for a week, probably thinking she'll scratch at her chest that's still healing. "He didn't mean in that way, Rae."

"No? How did you mean it then, Zayn? Please tell me how I should've handled that, it would've saved me a lot of time if I had known."

Zayn drops to the sofa behind him, face in his hands and shaking his head. "I didn't," He speaks, words muffled by his hands. "I didn't mean it like that, I'm so so sorry Rae. I don't express my concern very well. I'm sorry."

Rae huffs, takes her hands out of Louis', opting to cross her arms instead. She's angry and hurt and the back of her eyes burn with unshed tears. They leave in two days and this isn't the way she wanted saying goodbye to go.

"Will you just consider seeing a therapist?" Zayn questions meekly, finally picking his head up. "Please? We're leaving for tour and Louis won't be able to fly to you every time he wants to."

"Like hell I won't!" Louis states furiously.

Rae's heat skips a beat at his response, smiling a little despite herself. "Zayn..." Rae sighs.

"Please Raelyn." Zayn continues, "me mum knows a really good one here. You wouldn't even have to pay for it. I'm just asking to consider it."

"Rae, love." Louis starts, lifting his fingers up to play with the end of her braid. "I think you're far from having a drinking problem, but I do think it'll be a good idea. Maybe just try once? If you absolutely hate it, then that's fine, you don't have to do it anymore and Zayn can take that stick out of his arse."

"You're more worried than I am, Louis, don't lie." Zayn inputs.

Louis flicks him off. Rae sighs in defeat, unlocking her arms to grab Louis rude hand. "Are you really that concerned?"

"He's right, Raelyn. There'll be times where I can't get to you, call you. It could help your panic attacks, help you sleep better."

"You help me sleep better." She mumbles, low enough for Zayn not to hear.

Louis chuckles, squeezing her hand. "I know. I just love you, so I might be a bit worried."

Rae leans forward, placing a soft kiss on Louis' lips. When she pulls back she focuses on Zayn. "I'll consider it. But you if ever accused me of being an alcoholic, or say to me what you did again, it won't be pretty Zayn. I won't stand for it."

"Never again. I really am sorry Rae."

In lieu of responding, Rae throws his pack of fags at him, hitting him square in the chest. She storms away, heading up the stairs into her room, looking around at the walls that have been redecorated since the day of the funeral. She can hardly stand to look at them now. Doesn't make eye contact with any of the pictures or the empty space where the ones of her brother use to be, or pays attention to anything on her dresser. Instead, she turns away, deciding that a hot shower is a good place to shed her tears. They'll just wash away with the water.

Later, when she's snuggled against Louis' front, warm under the duvet and his arm held protectively over her waist, Rae truly allows herself to break again. She turns around until she's face to face with Louis, his blue eyes shinning almost sliver in the dark of room with the moon glowing through her window. He gently brushes his thumbs under left cheekbone, and for some reason, that simple, loving gesture breaks open the flood gates. She cries herself to sleep in Louis' arms.

When she wakes up in the morning, it's to an empty bed, but a mug of steaming tea and Tiger Lillies, and a bag of chocolate covered espresso beans, greet her from the nightstand. Louis isn't gone for long though. He comes back a few minutes and sips of tea later, holding two muffins, one in each hand.

He shrugs when Rae questioningly raises an eyebrow. "Harry likes to bake as apologies for his bandmate being a dick."

"The flowers?" Rae gestures towards them.

"Just because I love you." He hands a muffin to her.

Rae smiles at him, accepting the muffin. "The espresso beans?"

"Zayn says sorry. Now eat up," he says, taking a bite of his muffin. "They're apple cinnamon, I'm told."



Good day:

Casablanca is playing on the TV with Rae and Louis cuddled up on the couch. They fought over the soft, fuzzy blanket for several moments because both their feet were cold. It resulted in Louis giving up, and Rae compromising by half laying on him and pulling the blanket over them.

"What do you want in life, Rae?" Louis questions out of nowhere.

Rae frowns as she watches the classically beautiful Ingrid Bergman walk into Rick's nightclub. She shifts her head up to see his face. "That's extremely random."

"I've just been thinking a bit, is all." Louis shrugs, hand squeezing her hip lightly.

"D'ya know what I want?" Rae begins, deciding last minute that his question is too heavy for the moment.

"Hmm?" Louis acknowledges.

"A taco."

Louis chuckles, makes Rae's bounce slight up and down on his chest. "What do you really want?"

"You.....to get me a taco."

"C'mon, love, really." After a moment's hesitation he adds, "I promise I'll get you a taco."

Rae sighs, her fingers tracing the swirling lines of his chest tattoo. "This is about the other night, innit?" She doesn't give Louis a chance to confirm, and says, "I want to travel. Photograph people, places, landscapes. I want to tell a story with my photography. It's always been a dream of mine. It's just...it doesn't feel like the right time."

"When do you think the right time is?"

"I don't...after we heal? After me mum gets back on her feet. I can't just up and leave her now, I would never." Rae abruptly pops her head up, a stern look on her face "Don't tell her that! She'd hate it if she knew that was the reason. She didn't know I refused the other job either."

"Promise." Louis makes the motion of crossing his heart with his hand.

She sits up fully, crossing her legs over Louis' and rubbing her eyes. "It's just not the right time, is all. My mind isn't in the right place, and I haven't even applied to anything."

Louis follows her, ducking his head to kiss her shoulder. "Then you know what? Take all the time you need, beautiful. No rush."

Rae smiles at him, but her confusion is still there. "Why did you ask?"

"Don't want you to be bored when your devilishly handsome boyfriend is gone."

"Huh. Must be me other boyfriend you're talking about."

Rae feels like she deserves being tackled onto her back, with Louis poking his fingers into her ribs. The question is forgotten when they both end up falling off the couch onto the floor, laughing breathlessly. It's how they end up watching the rest of the movie, snuggled up on the floor, fingers intertwined. They end up making the day a lazy movie one, between classic films and musicals. They don't too much, other than requesting some snacks and singing along to songs.

The sun has set, and Rae feels exhausted, still from her chaotic waves of emotions. She's drifting off to sleep snuggled against Louis' side, when she feels lips press softly against her temple.

"I just want you to be happy." Louis mumbles against her skin.

"I know," She breathes, fighting to keep her eyes open, but the pulling of sleep is too heavy.

"I want you to stay."

"I know."

**********************************************************************************************************

Notes

Holly Golightly names the cat that hangs around her Cat.
This chapter gave me an ucler because i felt like i kept losing parts.