Night has fallen on a day that feels like it should have been over several hours ago. There's a slightest hint of a breeze, teasing with the first signs of summer, though still cool enough to cause some shivers. There's a quiet stillness that settles is the air, the only sound is the faint rustle of the trees leaves when the wind dances among them. The only light comes from the moon, and the soft glow of the deck lights, and the silence comes from everyone having gone home.

Rae sits alone on the deck, clad in yoga pants, a tee shirt and a zip up hoodie that slips off her shoulder whenever she moves; she swears it's Louis given the Vans logo. Her dress was just too black and too stuffy and filled with a depressing vibe. She's fiddling with the last unlit lantern, black sharpie in hand, twirling it around her fingers. The canvas of the lantern is untouched, blank, because Rae has absolutely no idea what to put.

Earlier she had taken her camera back from Angelique who, bless her soul, began to take pictures of the lantern ceremony in her absence, and took the rest of the photos of the lights floating in the sky. It was a beautiful sight that brought on a new wave of fresh tears. She hid in a dark corner of the outside of her house, until Harry found her, ridding her tears with a dimpled smile and a hug so tight it made her back pop. She thinks her ribs may have bruised, but it was a good hug, a much needed hug.

She's still spewing over her father finally cornering her in the kitchen, unable to get away before he asked to talked to her. She felt sick to her stomach then, and thinks that maybe sending Harry away wasn't the greatest idea at that time. She had no one to mentally hold on to; Louis was out lighting a lantern with Zayn and she hadn't seen Niall or Liam around. At least with Harry she could have reached out, grabbed his hand, when it got too much, and he could step in and defused the whole thing. However, it was something she needed to do herself, so she ignored the flutters of anxiety, sucked it up and dealt with her father like the adult she is.

Despite her feeling proud of herself for a moment, and the two surprising emotional break downs, crying so hard when she hadn't in years, she feels exhausted; empty. It's not the same kind of empty she felt a few days ago. When all she had been was a hallow case of a body, like a discarded homeless seashell, laid buried beneath gritty sand with the oceans tides burying her deeper into the ground. The ground. Under the sand. Under the earth. Six feet under to be exact.

Rae's chest tightens painfully and her breathing hitches every now and again. Though she has finally shed four years worth of pent up tears, it's still painful to do. She squeezes her eyes shut, feeling a warm tear escape through the lashes of her left eye. It feels strange to cry again, to feel this release in her chest she hasn't felt in a long time. It makes the muscles in her chest spasm, like they remember how painful it was, and can't get over the fact that maybe, just maybe the pain will finally subside. It doesn't stop her from letting one side of the lantern go, and pressing her hand firmly to her chest, healing skin throbbing in protest. Old habits die hard.

"I swear I'll put those gloves back on your hands and handcuff them to the chair."

Rae only jumps slightly, turning her head to spot Louis closing the sliding door behind him. She watches him over her shoulder until he's close enough for her to move her head so her neck isn't screaming at the horrible angle. He grabs one of the empty chairs, drags it closer to her, so close that the arms of the chairs over lap, and plops down on it.

"Wouldn't that defeat the purpose of the gloves then?" Rae challenges softly after a moment.

Louis levels her with his 'I see your bullshit' stare. "Still not trusting you won't claw your way through metal."

Rae doesn't respond, but watches as Louis reaches out, cautiously swiping his thumb beneath her eye. Maybe she was crying more than she originally thought. Or maybe Louis is just being himself and the gesture is him showing his love. Or maybe, he spots the tear tracks and is only tracing the ghost of what's left behind. Whatever his reason, the dull, painful spasms fade into light fluttering. He trails his fingers along her cheekbone, down the length of her jaw, brushes his fingertips over her neck and collarbones, then intertwines his with her fingers on her chest. Rae had closed her eyes, just feeling Louis' touch leaving warm tingles in its place, but opens them when he speaks again.

"S'a bit cool out, innit?" He questions, his other hand rubbing away the goosepimples along
the exposed part of her arm.

The hoodie has slipped further down, but she doesn't bother to fix it. Instead, Rae takes a second to remember how to breath, because Louis' eyes are so incredibly blue, even in the soft lighting. She blames it on the moon, since it's reflecting in his eyes, soft around the edges, to match the way he's looking at her. Rae inhales as subtly as she can, and wonders if she takes Louis' breath away the same way he does to hers.

"A bit." She answers, offering a small smile. "I think it's rather nice."

Louis' only answer is a returning smile and tender kiss to the back of her hand. Both of them fall into a comforting sort of silence, Louis staring out at the distance, and Rae admiring his profile. His thumb is slowly swiping back and forth on her hand, dipping in the spaces between her knuckles, and she's suddenly taken aback to how in love she is with him. Wonders how blind and stupid she must have been for not realising it sooner. Why she ever denied herself of her feelings, of his feelings for her, in the first place. She can't fight the frenzy of butterflies in her stomach, nor the pounding of her heart when she's around him, or every single time he looks at her with that expression so soft, so open, it kind of scares her with how raw it is.

It's nearly been a year since all five of them walked into her life, singing to Ronan, singing to the children of the Hospice. They have put smiles on faces that had forgotten how to, including Rae herself. They've given hope to children who had lost it, gave company, companionship, to the ones who never had family members come visit. They brought Olivia out of her shell. Showed love to Tony who never got it from his parents. Treated all those kids the way they should have been treated all along, instead of the people in their lives who treated them like they had the plague. They brought in funds and public promotion to Hummingbird that they desperately needed it so it wouldn't go bankrupt.

They have brightened Raelyn's world when she'd forgotten that it's not just black and white like the photos she develops. All five have brought laughter back, in the way Niall and Harry would goof off around the kids, like little bursts of sunshine here and there. The way Niall was never too serious unless he had to be, always a positive source of life when Rae was around him. Making her laugh with all the accents he can impress, made her laugh so hard one time she had fallen off the couch, clutching at her ribs. He showed how much he really cared for Ronan with each fist bump, each high five, and especially each time he allowed Ronan to pluck at the strings of his guitar. Showed how much he cares for Rae herself, when he practically carried her out of the Hospice when she was sick. It's impossible to be sad whenever Niall is around.

It's impossible to be negative when Harry is there, constantly showing how good, how compassionate people can still be. How selfless and kind and willing to be the source of happiness. How he allowed nearly every child to touch and braid his hair, how he sat with that one lonely teenager and listened while she talked about her home life with tears in her eyes. Rae knows though, despite everything she's seen in person of the real Harry, the media portrays him as someone completely different. She sincerely hopes that no one will ever break him enough that he loses his genuine, kind heart.

Because anyone who offers to be her date for a wedding and patiently wait around while she takes pictures doesn't deserve the shit he's given. Not when he gave his favorite beanie to Ronan because he mentioned he liked it. Or when he was there for Rae when she was doubting herself, doubting Louis, doubting hope. Who offers his inhaler each time Rae has difficultly breathing. Who picked a stray kitten off the street without thinking twice about it, and therefore thinking this stray kitten will eventually be a small form of therapy for Raelyn.

"Zayn drew Iron Man on our lantern." Louis's voice breaks through Rae's thoughts like a gentle caress. "Figured Ronan would appreciate that."

Rae smiles at that, though Louis isn't looking at her. Thinks maybe he's been lost in his own thoughts. "I figure he'd be right." She answers. Louis squeezes her hand, and the quiet returns.

Zayn is, and has always been attentive ever since Rae met him. He stays quiet while around others, a silent presence in the back, careful eyes watching and picking up on things people would miss. Rae figures it's the artist in him, and truly thinks it's that aspect that made them bond in the first place. What launched their strange sort of friendship was the day she found him sneaking a smoke break. That was when the beautiful, intimidating nature of Zayn, showed he was just as human as the rest. Shaken up and haunted by the reality of Hummingbird Hospice, and when he knocked his fist against Rae's head when they got into the lift, she knew it was his way of truly thanking her.

She didn't know it then, but Zayn is fiercely protective, some times even against Rae's own self. They share this moment, only between them and it will only ever be between them, when he walked in on one of her recent panic attacks. He didn't call for help, he didn't call for Louis, just gently took her hands away from her chest, squeezed until she could focus on him. He rested his forehead against hers, and began to inhale and exhale deeply, muttering his counts with each one until Rae subconsciously fell along with his rhythm. That's when she confessed a dark secret only Louis knew then, lying with her head in Zayn's lap while he brushed his fingers through her hair. He's been a strong and silent support for her, and a happy, willing to draw anything at the request of her brother, friend.

Louis clears his throat, then chuckles under his breath.

"What?" Rae questions, tilting her head in slight confusion.

"Liam couldn't get his to light, and nearly ended up lighting the whole thing on fire instead."

"Is that why he came back in with a wet shirt?"

"Harry has terrible aim when it comes to extinguishing near fires."

Rae chuckles along with him, lightly slapping her forehead in exasperation. Liam's been so incredibly helpful lately, keeping an eye on her mother even though he was asked just that one time. He's been a solid support for her as well, they all have, and Liam is so sensible, and caring and understanding. He's got something like big brother protectiveness, especially in tough situations, and handling them so well. Like when he stayed close to her and Ronan during the first paparazzi encounter, and when he caught Ronan when he had weakness in his legs. He was able to keep the situation calm and in return, helped calm Raelyn.

Despite being older than him by a year, he's like a big brother Rae never had; looking out for her, for them, quietly in the background. He was the one to ultimately convince and talk their team into letting them come back from Paris two days early, just for her, and Raelyn is incredibly grateful for that. Rae rubs her forehead, drops her hand and when she looks back over to Louis, he's staring up at the sky.

Louis's profile is beautiful. His jaw cutting against the color of night, his cheekbones casting small shadows from the soft light emitting from the deck. His long lashes brush his cheeks every time he blinks. The slope of his nose, the relaxed line of his mouth. He's got a few days worth of scruff along his cheeks and jaw, and Rae realises it's because he has literally been at her house day and night for the past three days. He didn't have too, was never asked to stay the night or do everything he has done for them.

Louis is everything. Has been everything wanted, everything needed that Rae never realised she did. He's been this bright, beautiful, strong support for her from day one. Somewhere along the way she began to lean on him, and maybe it's because he had an uncanny knack of timing in finding Rae in her weak moments. Or maybe it was how simple it was to tell him everything, to trust him completely, that it was okay to let someone see her fall apart. To allow a near stranger to slowly become the anchor she didn't know she needed in her life. A solid rock of support, of comfort, of hope when she lost sight of it. Maybe it was the fact that Louis took her attacks seriously, helped and held her through it, and never once made her feel weak or inadequate. He's been a consistence warm, like a fire burning large and bright, one with enchanted wood logs so the flame never burns out.

Rae reaches out with her free hand, gently tracing her fingertips along the line of his jaw. Louis' eyes flutter close, allows her to continue without interrupting. He must be exhausted too, Rae thinks, taking care of her nonstop after coming off a flight from Paris. He's the one who sent the other boys home for proper sleep, who checked up on her mum when Jasper wasn't there. He hid the wine bottles and force Rae to drink actual liquid that wouldn't make her liver scream in protest. He patched her up, held her tight when she needed it, gave her space when she wanted it. Never left her side, and abruptly, Rae feels guilty.

She wonders how difficult it has been for him; Ronan had become a part of his life just as much as Rae has. She can't seem to recall Louis actually grieving, too busy trying to make sure she didn't fall apart more than she already had. Too busy attempting to pick up her shattered pieces, or at least make her feel a little more human.

How is it fair that Louis has always been the one to make her laugh when she'd almost forgotten how to truly do so. That he was always the one to drop everything and be there for her; skip off on Eleanor, skip out on important, famous people meetings that important, famous people are required to go too. The guilt curls in her gut, and Rae's fingers stutter against his cheekbones. She's responsible for that break up, for Zayn's small punishment in Paris, for any scolding thrown their way, it was all because of her. Isn't she responsible for all of that? For that day when Louis was stalked and surrounded by fans because he was trying to cheer her up, give her a break.

Rae pulls her hand back, slowly dropping to her thigh. Louis opens his eyes after a moment, rolling his head onto his shoulder to look at her. He's got this soft look in his eyes, the color of his irises bright like the moon itself, then he frowns. Must have noticed the guilty expression on Rae's face.

"Stop that." Louis reprimands, soft and gentle. "Whatever that looks is for, stop thinking about it." Instead of allowing Rae to reply, he takes her hand, brings it up to his face and leaves her fingers against his skin. He eyes shut once more as he wiggles in his seat, becoming a little more comfortable.

"S'nice. Felt nice." He mutters, gesturing towards her hand.

Rae chuckles under her breath, and continues to draw aimless doodles on his cheek and neck. Maybe she doesn't have to feel to guilty about everything. He has told her plenty of times that everything he did and has done is because he wants to. Louis releases a tiny, content sigh and Rae thinks that this moment is the first time he's actually relaxing. For some reason, it lifts her spirits from the negatives to the positives; just a little.

And isn't it funny how she always feels better, lighter around Louis. Like his crinkly, twinkling cerulean eyes and wide smile and infectious personality is pixie dust thrown on her, allows her to feel better, think happier, feel like she's flying. For her fly; that's what she's been wanting to to do for the past week. Fly away and leave every pain filled emotion behind. To just forget everything that's happened, forget who is now gone forever. Rae thinks maybe, if Louis was holding her hand during her flight, maybe, she can come out of this with part of her heart in tact.

There will always be missing a piece, Ronan having taken that part with him from the minute he was born. Though maybe that empty piece will eventually be filled with memories of her brother giggling and asking her to sing and take as many pictures as she can. Abruptly, Rae is struck with another memory.

"Louis." She speaks up. Rae keeps her voice quiet because any louder seems like it'll shatter this calm they have. Louis turns his head once more, eyes still closed. Rae's fingers slipping over his lips in the process. He kisses three of her fingers lightly before humming his response.

"Do you remember that night you whisked me away to Neverland?" Rae asks finally putting the lantern carefully on the ground and turning her body towards him.

"Of course." Louis answers, his voice just above a whisper, eyes opening again and copying Rae's moments. "That's the night I realised I fell in love with you. Why?"

Rae sits up a little, her original question is snuffed by his confession. "You what?"

A slow smiles begins to spread across Louis' lips, he stops it halfway by rubbing his lips together and pushing them out to relax the muscles. It's a thing he does when he tries not to smile too hard. He clears his throat.

"Yeah." Louis shrugs nonchalant, like telling her he realised his feeling for her several months ago is not a big deal. This time he doesn't stop his smile and the stars hardly shine in London, but Rae swears she sees them entangled in the blues of his eyes, and there's a possibility she's matching his smile. "Anyway, why'd you ask?"

The smile slips from Rae's mouth, and the fluttering caused by Louis in both her heart and stomach subside. "I was wondering if you could take me again?"

She can no longer look at his beautiful smile fading away, so Rae drops her eyes to her lap. She feels Louis lift their hands, fingers still tied together and feels the press of his cool lips against her knuckles.

"Of course, love." Louis whispers his promise into her skin.

They sit in silence for a long time after that, gazing up at the moon and what little stars they can see. The moon is a bright reminder, and Rae is trying not to think of why she wants to escape again. Trying to keep her mind clear of any thoughts, to just enjoy the quiet and the sound of Louis' soft breaths next to her. Though it's within this silence that her thoughts are the loudest, and no matter how hard she tries, they still plague her mind. The center of her world, the light of her mother's, is physically gone and now Rae has absolutely no idea how to handle her life without him.

How does she just suddenly go on? If she gets down to the reality of it, she has all this free time she never had before. She no longer has to work double shifts at Jaspers if she doesn't want too. She doesn't have to wake up in the early hours before the sun has even peaked, to put on that uniform, or serve grumpy, rude costumers. She likes working there, she likes Jasper, but maybe she'll just drop those extra shifts. Jasper will pretend to keel over in shock, then probably send her home with a dinner made for an army.

It means her mother, who has worked so hard at two jobs for the past four years can possibly drop her night job. It means proper sleep for her mum, more time spent with Rae herself. Maybe they can actually take a mother-daughter pamper day when they feel ready too. Maybe Rae can actually bring her mum to the darkroom and teach her how to develop photos. Her mother won't have to worry about expensive bills or stress about paychecks to pay those bills. It's all bittersweet.

This doesn't mean that Rae is happy about all the free time that's come around. At the moment, she'd still much rather spend her days in the hospital if it means getting Ronan back. It's going to be a hard, long, and tough road to even remotely start to heal, but that's why she has her mother and her mother has her. They have each other, and if that's all they need to begin to heal, then that's perfectly fine.

There are going to be sleepless nights filled with tears. There's going to be severe heart break when they suddenly remember they don't have to pay that Hospice bill, or drive straight over for a visit. There will be reminders every single day, every time they walk by a photograph Rae has taken. Rae's literally got a reminder etch into her skin forever. So yes. It's going to be hard, it's going to hurt.

Louis shifts next to her, releasing her hand and suddenly feels his fingers playing with her hair. Rae knows, however, that as much as it's going to be just her mother and her now, they aren't completely alone. Vinny's mother Carol, knows exactly what Rae's mother is feeling. There's a common comfort in that for her mother, as well as one for Rae and Vinny's sisters. Jasper as been frequently popping up in their life and she knows he'll take care of her mother the way she should be taken care of and loved.

They aren't alone, and as Rae closes her eyes and feels Louis begin to braid her long hair, she's got more than enough support. She did meet five incredibly, amazing people in the past year, and unexpectedly befriended them all. All five who has seen, at least once, how emotional her lifes rollercoaster was, and still decided to help her. She's fallen in love with one of them, and he's sitting next to her, fingers weaving through her hair.

It feels like Louis has always been there for her. From day one, till now, he has been an incredible anchor for Rae. He took time to know her, to know Ronan, to care, to show how compassionate and how amazing his heart really is. He loved Ronan as much as he could, talked to him, engaged him, made him laugh. He's helped her through everything. Rae was blind to see it before, but now she does know how much Louis loves her. Probably should have realized it when he nearly stole a plane, or whisked her away in the middle of the night to be like Peter Pan and Wendy. It's with all these thoughts that a nasty one rears it's head and blooms in her mind.

Louis is famous. Like, internationally, famous. There's a huge chance he won't be next to her forever. Maybe he'll get bored or find someone else and fall in love harder than he has ever been in love. He'll be gone for months at a time, possibly even a year. Traveling and touring and being beautifully famous as he is, and Rae will just be at home taking pictures of flowers trying to heal her heart. She wonders if she's ready to have everything out for the public to see, if their new relationship gets out before they're ready for it to. Wonders if she's ready for the rest world to know about her family, about Ronan. Rae wonders if that's just enough to scare her out of her relationship with Louis. Her anxiety begins to bubble in her the pit of her stomach, making it's way up to her chest.

Rae turns to look at Louis, forgetting his braiding. He looks back at her, his eyes still so blue despite the dark. He's stunning, possibly the most beautiful person she has ever seen. Louis is his own category of beauty, inside and out, flawed and perfect, loud and soft, compassionate and protective. Louis smiles at her then, and Rae's heart stutters in her chest and sends butterflies fluttering down to her stomach that overtakes the stabbing of panic. No, she thinks, nothing will ever be enough to scare her away. Not after everything he's been through with her. She sees hearts in Louis eyes and it's always when he's looking at her. His expression soft, his eyes fond, his mouth giving her that crooked smile.

"Stop that." Louis says again, breaking the silence around them.

Rae frowns, confused. "Stop what?"

"You're thinking way too much." Louis leans forward, closing the few inches between them to kiss her temple. "I know your mind, Raelyn. You don't need to worry about anything right now. Not today. Not for while, alright? Can you do that for me, just try not to worry?"

Rae nods with his lips against her skin, then sighs. It's been a long, emotionally draining day and Louis is right. She tries to move closer, snuggle into his chest, despite the annoying arms of the chairs. Louis helps by angling her chair and pulling her legs over his lap. He rests one hand on her upper, inner thigh, and wraps his other arm around her shoulders, he pulls her as close as he can and instead of tucking her face in his neck like she originally wanted to, Rae presses her lips against his. She can feel Louis move his hand along her shoulder, up her back, slipping his fingers in her hair and deepens their kiss.

This is what she needs, Rae thinks in the back of her mind, a solid weight against her chest, a strong arm holding her tight, the comfort and love that Louis gives her. He tastes like he got into one of the cupcakes she made, sweet with a hint of coffee on his tongue. It's a little addicting and Rae blames her next move on that, instead of the fact that Louis is literally the only thing that makes her forget. Makes her clear her mind so she doesn't dwell on a loss.
Rae shifts around, surprised she doesn't break apart their lips when she maneuvers her legs and successfully settles on Louis' lap, straddling his thighs. He makes a surprised, yet intrigued noise in his throat, both hands going to grip her hips. Their kiss suddenly heats up several notches.

Rae's stomach is fluttering again, a mix of excitement and a stubborn bit of anxiety, so she grips Louis' shirt tight in her fists, pulls him just a little bit closer. Her chest is pressed to his and she can feel his pounding against his chest, until it matching the rhythm of her own and she can't tell who's heart is felt against whose chest. She can hear their pants and gasps with each swipe of their tongues, with each subtle movement of hips and grips of hands. Rae loves him, she loves him so much.

He makes her warm, causes shivers to run up and down her body, makes her heart want to burst in her chest, in the best way that's anything but painful and that's what she needs. Louis finally breaks away to catch his breath, because unfortunately kissing requires some breathing breaks, and air is apparently a vital part of being human. Rae doesn't take that break with him though. She trails her lips along his cheek, nips at his jaw, bends her back so she can reach his neck. She thinks, if she stops kissing him, all her thoughts will flood back. Louis knows her all too well, because his willingness suddenly chances.

"Rae. Raelyn." He pants heavily, voice strained like the last thing he wants to do is be reasonable. His hands tighten on her waist, but Rae doesn't stop. Wants to keep kissing him until he's all she can think about it. She feels his hands move up her sides, rubs up and down like he doesn't want to stop her, then continues to move them until her face is cradled in his hands.

"Love, hey. Raelyn, look at me."

Louis pushes her back as gently as he can until he forces eye contact; a ring of cerulean around slightly blown pupils. Now Raelyn is panting, much harder than Louis is. She can see his eyes shifting like he's trying to figure out where all that came from. It takes him two seconds to do so, for his expression softens. He swipes both his thumbs under her eyes, and Rae's suddenly angry at herself. She didn't realise she was crying again.

"Hey, you're alright. You're okay. I've have you. I always have you." He promises, pulling her in again, this time for a tight hug. "Tell me what you're thinking."

"I don't know!" Rae nearly gasps, trying to shove down a sob threatening to escape. "I don't want to think about anything. I don't know how I can do anything, Louis. I-"

"Shhh, you're okay. I've got an idea. You trust me?" Louis asks. He asks like he doesn't already know the answer.

Rae nods, smudging her tears against his neck. "Always."

"Budge up for a moment, darling."

Rae gathers herself before she fully pushes herself off and away from Louis. She watches as he bend over, picks up the lantern and stands up. He offers his hand silently, questioningly, wiggling his fingers a little. Rae hastily wipes away her tears, now hating that she can physically cry again, and puts her hand in his. He pulls her along until they reach the three steps that lead to the grass, and plops down. The force tugs on her arm, so Rae has no choice but to follow. Once she's settles, Louis sticks his hand inside the pocket of the hoodie.

"S'this mine?" He questions, mostly mumbles it under his breath with a smile, and pulls out the lighter and sharpie.

Rae watches quietly as Louis begins to unfold and straighten the lantern. He uncaps the marker and hands it over to her, an expectant expression on his lovely features. She takes the sharpie and lantern, poises the felt tip just about the canvas and pauses. She ran into this problem earlier, her mind coming up with nothing and just staring at the blank space. She turns to Louis.

"I haven't got anything to write." Rae confesses sadly.

Louis doesn't answer for a moment, just stares up at the moon, contemplating. "Rae, is there a reason you want to go back to Neverland?"

"It was just you and I." Her answer makes Louis look at her. "Your spontaneity left no room for any other thought. Just you and me and the swing and the moon. It was nice, it was a nice night. Don't you think Neverland is a nice place, Louis?"

Rae knows the softness she accidentally laced into her voice does not hide the meaning behind her question. She knows what she's asking and she knows Louis definitely knows what she means. Louis leans over to gently kiss the corner of her mouth. He swipes his thumb over her lips, lingering for a second too long, then moves to rest his forehead against her temple.

"I think Neverland is a beautiful place." He begins gently, his lips hovering just above her ear.

"I think it's beautiful beyond words. With skies the bluest blue and grass the greenest green. With rainbows over every body of water, fluffy white clouds you could sleep on. I think birds sing the most lovely songs and the forest smells like all sorts of amazing flowers. The food taste better than any food we every tasted, everything so perfectly sweet and salty and delicious.

"You could walk around barefoot, play games with pixies and find treasure with Peter. He will take you on new adventures everyday and the mermaids will play the pretty lullabies that help you sleep. The lost boys will tell the bedtime stories Wendy told them. Never having to feel the pain of any other world. Never going hungry or thirsty. But I think the most beautiful thing in Neverland is never having to grow up. To stay a kid, pure and innocent, bright and laughing forever. It's a beautiful place on the brightest star, second to the right of the moon. Shinning down on us mere mortals because we can't get there just yet. Only the most special kids can get in when Peter is ready for a new adventure."

Louis finishes in a whisper, trailing off when his voice breaks at the end. Rae wonders if he can feel her trembling when he trails his fingers along her cheek. Rae turns her face in his shoulder, trying to hold back the abrupt waves of emotion.

"It sounds lovely." She agrees to his left shoulder. She's beginning to shake harder with her efforts to hold everything back. She feels Louis wrap his arms around her waist. "Do you think-" she inhales a shuddering breath- "Ronan likes Neverland?"

"No doubt about it." Louis tells her firmly.

"I miss him, Louis."

She starts crying again, sobbing into his chest, clutching at his shirt, sure that she accidentally pinches his skin, the lantern forgotten on the ground. Louis pulls her into his lap again, allows her to let wave after wave crash over her head. There are split seconds where, in the back of her mind, Rae is going to drown in nothing but the pitch black ocean of panic. It's chased away with every small touch, every loving kiss Louis gives her throughout her sobs. She nearly misses the sound, a small almost inaudible sniff above her head, and registers a moment later that Louis is crying too. So, Rae holds on tighter, presses herself closer and gets one arm around his back to at least show she can comfort him too.

She's not sure how long they sit like that, each crying on the other with tears staining cheeks, hair and clothes, but by the time Rae's tears slow down, the moon is higher in the night sky. There's a patch of Louis shirt that's absolutely soaked, so Rae shifts her head a little, ignoring the small hiccuping sighs she lets out. Her eyes feel puffy and it's becoming harder with each blink to keep them open. Louis begins to hum a soft tune, chin resting on her head and starts to rock them back and forth.

Rae continues to release dry little sobs, attempting to regain control of her breathing, sniffing and trying to subtly wipe her nose with her sleeve. Words start to slip between Louis' lips, singing as soft as the moons light. She lets his voice, tender with a delicate rasp, lull her into a serene state of mind, wishing she never has to leave the comfort of his arms. She listens to his words, quiet and slow and so, so pretty. She finally recognizes the song from Peter Pan, and pulls back just farther enough to tilt her head up to see his face.

Louis's eyes are a little bloodshot, lids slightly swollen and Rae thinks she probably looks the same. It's when he smiles down at her, faint crinkles forming by the corner of his eyes, does the pain numb a bit. Louis lifts a hand, tenderly caressing her cheek, wiping away the dry tear tracks. It's a touch that makes her want to close her eyes, to just let her exhaustion overcome her and sleep out here, in his arms under the moon. Her eyelids flutter sleepy, and Louis' expression turns fond, his eyes softening. Sometimes, she thinks, Louis looks like the setting sun when he looks at her. His smile so bright, eyes filled with different shades of color, gaze so loving and full of warmth that she can almost feel it heat up her heart.

"I sang to him." Rae tells him, voice so quiet it nearly blows away with the breeze. "My Only Sunshine. Somewhere Over the Rainbow."

Louis inhales slowly, like the bit of information has his heart breaking. His thumb is absentmindedly rubbing soothing swipe over her arm. "I'm sure he absolutely loved that. Hearing your beautiful voice was his favorite thing. Oh! How about writing lyrics?"

"On the lantern?"

"Yes." Louis nods, his hand slipping down to entangle their fingers.

He leans downs to place a gentle kiss to her lips, and when he breaks away, he lifts her hand up to kiss each of her knuckles. Louis only gets to the second knuckle when Rae's eyes catch the spot he was rubbing earlier. His tender touch soothing on her inner forearm, right over her tattoo. An idea sparks in her mind, blatantly surprisingly at herself for how stupid she is. She wanted to write the perfect thing on the lantern, racking for hours on what to put on the canvas when the answer is literally etched on her skin.

"Yeah," Rae begins distantly, "yeah. Actually," she says a little louder, "I know exactly what to put."

She leans forward, only after Louis presses his lips to the last knuckle, to pick up the lantern. She points to the lighter and sharpie by Louis' foot when he put them down earlier. She smiles her thanks when he hands them to her, rests the lantern on her thighs and begins writing. Once she's written on one side, she flips it over to write on the other.

She examines her words, simple, nothing fancy; no doodles or full on Iron Man, just simple words that mean everything to her. She recaps the marker, sticking it back in the pocket of the hoodie. She looks over at Louis, who is politely looking away over at the trees, and smiles.

"Help me light it?" Rae asks, standing up and holding out her hand to Louis. He takes the lighter from her hand, then laces their fingers together, allows Rae to pull him along until they're standing in the middle of the backyard.

"Hold it still, love." Louis murmurs, flicking the lighter twice until the flame erupts from the starter.

Rae watches Louis as he concentrates lighting all for corners of the little flammable rectangle. He's tongue is poking out of the corner of his mouth, brows furrowed as he focuses. The flames cast tiny shadows to dance across his cheekbones, lashes fluttering every time he blinks. The second he deems it worthy and well lit, he looks up at her from under his lashes, giving her the smallest smile and yeah. She is so in love with him. Louis places one hand on hers on the bottom of the floating light, and the other holds onto the top so the heat circles evenly. Rae sees it when he notices the words she's written and swear his eyes become watery.

Ronan's name is written neatly across the top on the side facing Louis, with To the Moon and Back just underneath it. Slowly, carefully, Rae turns the lantern, which is beginning to float on its on, to show the other side to him. Off to Neverland Rae has written, deeming the phrases perfect for Ronan, and for herself.

Louis clears his throat and nods, no words needing to be spoken. Both of them focus on the lantern, double checking that it'll float safely to the sky when they release it. The second lantern starts to pull against their hold, Rae snaps her gaze across the top to Louis'. She inhales shakily, counting in her head for several seconds, trying to ease the knot in her stomach.

"You know what this means, right?" She says without really meaning to ask. "I'll be letting go. It's the start of...of healing I guess. Letting go."

Louis lightly squeezes her hand. "Letting go isn't forgetting, Raelyn." He tells her gently, holding her gaze. "It is never forgetting."

"He's gone." She whispers, mostly to remind herself of why her heart will continue to beating with a missing half.

"Neverland." Is Louis' quiet response.

Rae stares at him for a moment, before closing her eyes. She can feel a few tears escape through her lashes, and attempts to inhale and exhale again, calming herself. She allows Louis' words to sink in, that Ronan will never truly be gone, will always be a part of her. When she's regrouped herself, she opens her eyes to see a soft smile gracing Louis lips.

"Ready?" She questions.

"Only if you are." Louis tells her.

Rae nods firmly. "To the moon and back."

They both raise the lantern above their heads. Slowly, probably because she knows what this all symbolizes, she lets go of the top, and allows Louis to take away her hand at the bottom. It hovers in the air for several seconds before it begins to float upward. There's a delicate touch at her hips, fingers finding their way beneath the hoodie and her shirt to rest on her skin. Louis' fingers anchor her, whether he knows it's exactly what she needs, or if by accident.

Either way, it grounds her, soothes her, confirms that watching the light continue to climb higher into the night sky is a step forward. She steps back into his hold, until she can feel his heart beating in his chest against her back, and wraps his arms fully around her. There's so much to think about from this point on; how to begin the healing process for her and her mother especially.

How to handle less work hours and nights with actual sleep. How to deal with the fact that Louis will soon be gone, touring the world with his four best mates, and barely getting to talk to him. To see him, hear his voice, for him to hold her the way he is now. Or feel the graze of his lips against her ear.

"I can hear your thoughts, you know." Louis teases, tightening his grip. "It'll be alright. Everything will be fine, Raelyn. Just watch your light."

Rae sighs, relaxing more into his hold. She clears he heard as she focuses back on the lantern, growing smaller with each passing second. It's probably just tricky angles, but it looks like it's heading through towards the moon, and just that little thought alone reassures her.

It's unclear how long they stand outside, holding each other and watching the lantern until it blends among the stars. Louis has been sporadically dropping kisses on any part of her he can reach. The back of her head, her ear, neck, shoulder, jaw, until Rae finally spin around to press their lips together. Louis pulls back after a moment, resting his forehead against hers.

"I love you, you know." He ensures her. "So much."

In response, Rae buries her face into his neck, squeezing her arms around his waist. "I know," She answers against his skin. She places a single kiss over his pulse point. "I know, and thank you."

When Rae finally pulls back, after inhaling his scent for several minutes, until everything in her mind cleared away, Louis wipes the remaining tears from her cheeks. She does the same to him, her touch lingering a lot longer than necessary.

"Did Harry leave those mini cheesecakes?" She asks, pressing one last kiss against his neck.

Louis chuckles softly, low in his throat and vibrating against her lips. "I'll make some tea, yeah?"

Rae nods, pulling away to meet his eyes, so blue with specks of green like the sea that it's unfair how bright they shine in the night. He hooks his finger beneath her chin, tilts her head back slightly, and kisses her deep and soft. When he leans back, Rae is breathless, panting a little and they're both smiling at each other like idiots; Louis, with the crinkles by his eyes.

"I think Niall ate about five of those cheesecakes, by the way." Louis informs, starting to lead her back to the house.

"I swear if that red velvet one is gone." Rae mutters darkly, her threat empty.

Louis laughs, sending a thrill of heat throughout her body at the sound. As Louis releases her hand to open the sliding door, still chucking, Rae realises that he's right. Eventually, everything will be alright. With the old support she always had from her friends, to the new stronger support system she has now, with her mother and each other, and with Louis especially, she'll begin to heal.

It's going to take a great amount of time. It's going to be a long, hard road and the future is a little unclear and a little open now, but Rae thinks she can do it. If she keeps the thought that Ronan is having he greatest fun ever in Neverland; laughing and dancing and singing and walking without anything sort of darkness, without any pain.

Rae spares a last glance over her shoulder at the moon, her lantern completely gone from sight, but she knows in her heart, it's a constant star, it's still there. There's a shout from the kitchen and a loud voice that could only belong to Louis boasting about how good a certain flavor is, regains her attention. So Raelyn goes inside to scold the man she loves about stealing her cheesecake, and probably her heart as well. Cheesecake first though.


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Notes

The End.

Thank you to anyone who has read even one chapter of this story. I know it's just a fictional story written by a fan, but the events that happened are very close to my heart and this story, and it's characters mean so much to me. Thank you for your support and for reading :)
Thank you to Liz, who allowed me to send her my ideas and give her feedback. Also, if anyone is a nurse at a children's hospital, you guys are the true heroes and I say that from witnessing those heroes in action.

Last note; this story isn't finished. I decide to make it into a little mini series and more chapters will be on the way.

Thank you always, and forever and for all the love.
-A