Georgie. My little 4 year old brother. Different dads, but he's still my brother. While I never knew my dad, Georgie's dad died from an overdose of perscirption pills two years ago. Georgie didn't understand death at the time, so I'll have to tell him about his dad when he's able to put a sentence together. I love him with all my heart...but getting him into his PJ's is a hassle. Georgie ran into the living room naked as I tried chasing him down with his clothes, "Georgie!" I panted, about to give up. He laughed hysterically before breaking wind down the hall. I chased after him, corning him against the wall. "Ha!" I teased, "Where ya gonna go now?"

Georgie grinned before getting on all fours and climbing inbetween my legs. I watched him as he stood up and ran back into the living room. I was impressed but also annoyed. I called for him, "Georgie I have to meet with Holly in 10 minutes! Mum won't let me out the door until I get you into your pajamas," I slouched my shoulders, walking to the living room. Unable to process my whole sentence, Georgie cheered, "Holly! Holly! Holly!"

I grinned, "Yeah! Holly! I know you like Holly," I teased, making him cover his face with his small hands. I smiled, "Oh, so you can understand that? You're such a dog, Georgie." I said, making him chuckle. He ran to me, burying his face in my leg. I laughed before picking him up, placing him on the couch. After helping him dressed, he screamed down the hall. My mum walked past him, "He's showered, changed?"

"Ya." I watched her make her way into the kitchen, grabbing a beer. She looked at me, "Go on, then. Get outta here before I make you put him into bed."

I nodded, "Okay mum." I can hear Georgie digging through his toy chest. I smiled before walking out the door. I spotted Holly outside her fence on the sidewalk. She looked pretty. She was wearing a black skirt, a lose blouse, and flats. Her blond hair was up in a messy bun, her small purse hanging off her shoulder. I walked to her, "You look amazing."

Holly's face turned pink, "Thank you, you too--I mean, handsome," She chuckled nervously.

I laughed, "It's okay, don't beat yourself over it." I held out my hand to her. She bit her lower lip, holding my hand. Does this look bad? Maybe. But I don't mean it as anything more than a friendly manner. We walked down the sidewalk, talking about anything that came across our minds. I kept glancing at her, noticing how red her face was. Did she like me? That would be awkward. Holly asked, "Have you ever liked someone?"

Louis. I nodded.

She smiled, "I've never kissed a boy before." She stopped in her tracks as if she was expecting something.

I smiled, "I have." I froze. Shit.

Holly laughed, "Good one."

I smiled awkwardly. At least she took it as a joke. I continued walking when she wouldn't. She looked disappointed...why? We won't reach Liam's place if we're not walking--oh. I let go of her hand, putting the pieces together. I didn't dare to look at Holly's reaction. I didn't want to see her sad. When we finally reached Liam's house, it was every teenager's wet dream. A huge party with drunk teens (it's legal for 16 year olds to drink alcohol in the U.K.), loud music which can be heard from outside, and dramatic wild teenagers. I was immediately uncomfortable. I was never use to parties no matter how many times Louis dragged me into them.

Holly and I walked through the crowd inside, hand in hand. She held onto it before we walked inside. I would have let it go again, but I assumed she held on because she didn't want to get lost. I wasn't sure where I was heading until I heard Louis shout, "Who wants to play a game?" I followed his voice, stepping into Liam's living room. Liam was drinking on the couch as Louis explained, "Anyone heard of 7 minutes in Heaven?" He was drunk. I could spot it from miles away.

Louis spotted me, staring at me. What was with the look? I followed his eyes, following it to me holding Holly's hand. I immediately let go, but it didn't stop him. Louis said, "Harry and Holly! It looks like you two would like to get more acquainted!" Everyone cheered as my face burned red. No, it's okay. I wanted to say but my voice wouldn't make out the words. I was frozen as I felt hands shoving me into the closet with Holly. Our bodies were pressed against together as the door shut. I can hear Louis's muffled voice say, "7 minutes to do anything you want! No time to waste!"

I can feel Holly's breasts pressed against my chest. I've never touched them before, nor did I want to. What's so sexy about two balls of fat? Holly whispered, "We don't have to do anything extreme," Just when I felt a heavy weight fall off my shoulders, she added in, "but we should at least do something or they'll know."

No, I don't want to. I swallowed, staying completely still.

I felt Holly grab my hand, "Don't be shy." I felt my hand rest on her chest, she forced my hand to grasp her breast. It felt odd, but it didn't turn me on. Holly grabbed my other hand, resting it under her skirt on her butt. Even if it was already dark, I shut my eyes. It's a dude, not a woman. Kiss her--him and get it over with...fuck but no guy I knew has boobs. I let go of her breast and grasped her butt with both my hands, making her squeal with a smile. I can feel Holly's breath brush against my lips, "Kiss me." Maybe I'm not gay--who am I kidding? Of course I'm gay. It's just a kiss, it's just a kiss, it's just a--her lips touched mine. They were soft but I can taste her chapstick. Cherry. Not bad. I fooled myself into thinking she was guy, pushing her against the wall and deepening it. My jeans tightened, I was actually thinking of Louis--actually, I was thinking of anyone with a dick. This 7 minutes in heaven thing wasn't bad.

Holly said, "Wanna feel something else, Harry?"

No, I'm fine with just your ass--

She made my hand touch inbetween her thighs, in her underwear. I tried not showing how disgusted I was, feeling how wet she was. As my fingers worked, making her moan, all I could think was why are there so many folds? It felt like I was playing with slim, except this slim had a hole which sucked in my fingers. There goes my erect groin, poof, gone. Holly's moan brushed against my ear as I stuck my tongue out in disgust. I reeled my fingers out just in time for the door to open. All eyes were on us--no, on Holly. They saw how faint she was, how much her face had gone red. And suddenly, everyone cheered as if I ran and won a marathon.

Liam said to me, pulling me out the closet, "You fucking stud! For a moment I thought you were gay, but holy shit you did a number on her, didn't you?" He handed me a beer.

I was suddenly not a ghost to anymore. Everyone was smiling at me, saying hi. It was weird gaining popularity just by fingering a girl. I noticed all the guys treated me with respect, and the girls gave me more attention. I didn't care for any of it, it wasn't worth doing what I did. I looked around for Louis. I spotted him drinking on the couch. He looked upset. I sat next to him, "Louis--"

"I've never seen you look at a girl and suddenly you come to the party with Holly?" He scowled, drinking some more.

"Well, actually it was just a misunderstanding--"

"Was fingering her a misunderstanding too?" Louis glared at me.

I frowned, "Louis...you're drunk. Besides, you're the one who shoved me and her in there."

Louis replied, "I didn't think you'd--well, I hoped you wouldn't do anything."

I looked at him, "Are you jealous...?"

Louis said quickly, "No." He stood up, "Just don't talk to me anymore." I should have followed him, but my fingers smelt really weird. I walked into the kitchen, washing my hands in the sink. I looked around after, looking to see where Louis had gone to. I was about to walk out of the kitchen, but Holly stopped me. She said, "That was fun." She smiled.

I shurgged, "It was alright."

Holly frowned a bit, "Oh." apparently me saying that didn't stop her from following me around. I couldn't have a conversation with Louis with her around me. So I spent the rest of the 2 hours drinking and talking to Holly downstairs--no funny business. Liam, even though proud of what I did, still managed to throw a few ping-pong balls at my head. He laughed, "Sorry mate, I'm drunk." Stupid excuse. I walked near the stairs, and of course Holly followed. She was talking about school, leaning against the side of the stairs. I nodded to her story...I looked up, finding Louis stepping down from the stairs with Marie behind him. Louis was looking down as he walked down the steps. I noticed Marie's shirt was on backwards, her hair frizzy...they didn't...did they?

I can hear Liam cheer, "Holy shit Louis did you fuck Marie?"

Marie hushed Liam violently as Louis grinned.

He did.

I stayed in my place as Louis stepped down on the last step. He looked at me, his eyes locked with mine. We stood there, looking at each other. Louis finally broke the eye contact, his frown showing. He walked away from me, leaving me with this feeling of hate and heartbreak. I couldn't hear anything, not anymore. I walked away from Holly and out the front door. I dropped my drink outside, stomping along the sidewalk in tears. My eyes burned, my heart shattered. Holly was following me, "Harry!"

I stopped, but didn't turn to her.

She asked, "What's wrong?"

I turned to her, "I'm gay."

Her eyes widened, but it was too late to take it back. It wasn't a joke to her, not while I'm in tears. Holly did something I didn't expect. She walked to me and hugged me, tightly and with meaning. Holly said, "I'm sorry...I shouldn't have done what I did back there--I didn't know." Acceptance. The first person I told is the person I didn't think twice about telling. But it was a good start...she didn't scream at me, she didn't shame me...she accepted me. I can feel more tears build up, this time from joy. I hugged her back, taking in the scent of her perfume. I let it all out, "I'm in love with someone who doesn't want to love me back."

Holly pulled away. She looked at me, "Is he really worth loving then?"

My lips quivered, I nodded. I said through a heavy flow of tears, "He's worth everything I have to offer." I cried, "And I hate that I can't get over him."

Holly rested her hand on my shoulder, "Then don't. Tell him how you feel, Harry."

"It's not that easy--"

"Of course it is, Harry...it' just going to be hard to say. But once you let it out," Her fingers wiped against my cheek, brushing away my tears, "you'll feel better."

She could be right. I left her, wanting space. I was back through my front door. I slumped into my brother's room. Even if he was 4 years old, he's the only person who can comfort me when I'm in tears. I walked into his room, finding him staring at a children's book. I walked over and sat on the edge of his bed. Georgie looked at me, "Cry?" I nodded, making him wipe his small hands across my face in attempt to dry my tears. I grinned, kissing his palms. Georgie gestured the book to me.

I sat on the bed, he sat on my lap. I placed the book in front of him. It was hard reading to him with tears falling from my eyes. But he knew one way to stop crying was to distract yourself. Georgie grabbed the book and threw it off the bed. I'll pick it up tomorrow.

He laid on the bed and moved so I'd have room too. I kicked my shoes off and laid next to him. Georgie smiled at me before closing his eyes. I smiled too, and shut mine.

Notes

xo