Mornings were always the time of the day I dreaded. No one would want to wake up to their mum banging on the door, yelling at you to get up and ready. And not only did I have to get ready, I had to get my little brother ready for the day. Even though most likely my mum won't take him anywhere. After hesitating, I got up from bed. I made it perfectly. I took a shower, changed into something casual (black t-shirt, red flannel, black skinny jeans and sneakers--oh, and I couldn't forget my rings), and headed into my brother's room. I opened the door, grinning at the scene. A little bump under the sheets. Faint laughter escaped it. I snuck my way over even if he knew I was inside.

I yanked off the blanket, "Gotcha!"

He screamed excitedly, laughing. I carried him, "Georgie, I thought I lost you forever! I barely saw you!" His hands played with the collar of my flannel as I carried him into the kitchen. I sat him down in his favorite chair. He smiled as I grabbed the cereal from the shelf, "What's it gonna be buddy, you feeling like a superhero bowl or a puppy bowl?"

"Princess!" He said.

"Princess?" I laughed, "Well, alright." I grabbed the orange bowl with purple patterns, shaping into a wand and crown. I poured him some cereal and milk, handing him the bowl with a spoon, "I'll get your clothes ready while you eat." I jogged my way down the small hall, ending up in his room. I pulled out his favorite dino shirt, dark shorts, underwear, and his socks. Knowing my mum will keep him locked inside all day, he won't be needing his shoes. I laid them out on the bed--a crash from the kitchen made me run down the hall. My younger brother was in tears while my mum scolded him, "I told you no princess bowl! It's for girls!" The bowl was on the ground next to spilt cereal.

I went to his aid, picking him up from his chair. My mum decided to scold me now, "I thought I told you to throw that damn bowl away!"

I muttered, "He likes it mom."

"It's for girls-he's a boy." She yelled, "You want him to turn gay or somethin?"

That was it. No matter how many times she had slurred at me, cussed at me, that hurt the most. With Georgie still in my arms, I yelled at her, "You can't turn gay, mum. It's something you're born into--it's just an object, it won't do shit to him," I walked away before she could continue her rant. I walked into my brother's room, setting him down. He was still teary eyed. I knelt in front of him, "Dino?" I grabbed his shirt, "You want dino, mate?"

Georgie weakly nodded. I helped him reel off his pj shirt, replacing it with the shirt. I said to him, wiping the tears from his cheeks using my thumb, "Let's get you dressed, ya? I can have Holly babysit you until mum feels better--would you like that?"

Of course he nodded. After getting him dressed, I snatched my book-bag and walked out the door with him. He held my hand as I led him next door. We went up the small steps before approaching the door. I knocked against the door until it opened. Holly, sister of two and home schooled, stood in front of me. She frowned, "Harry, I can't babysit today--"

"Just until I get out of school, I promise." I begged with my eyes, and it worked. She nodded, "Okay...come on inside Georgie, I'll make you something to eat." I leaned down and kiss his cheek, "I'll be back before you can Snickerdoodle,"

Her mumbled, "Sni...sni...ker...sni..."

I chuckled, "You'll get it someday," I poked the roof of his nose before standing up. I thanked Holly before rushing down the sidewalk, heading to school. As I walked, I dug through my bag, checking off everything. I stopped in my tracks, "What--" My hands frantically pushed around my binder and notebooks, "Where the fuck is my homework?" Great. I can't wait till first period. It's going to be the time where I get embarrassed for slacking off again. I sighed heavily, knowing I was already in too much of a rush to turn back and find my homework. I walked along the sidewalk, dreading first period.

I looked up, finding Marie about to cross the street. I walked slower, not wanting to be beside her where we have to make small conversation. That was the case until I saw Louis appear next to her. I called, "Louis-" I stopped in my tracks. My eyes locked onto Marie's hand grabbing his. Louis was smiling at her, glancing down to their fingers intertwining. I can feel my chest aching, my legs getting weak. That's it? They're dating? When did this happen? Yesterday? Did Marie ever leave to her house or stayed with Louis? Question after question piled in my head as I watched the two cross the street.

I can't go to school. Not like this. But I have to. For Georgie. My mom won't make anything of herself, so I will. With weak movements, I continued walking. I should cry now so I won't feel like it when I get to school.

I didn't walk into class until the last second before the bell, just so Louis couldn't talk to me. He was watching me sit down in my usual spot. As always, he was sitting next to me. As the instructor talked, I can hear Louis whisper to me, "Did ya hear about Niall Horan's art? I heard it glows in the dark," Louis peeked to make sure he wasn't getting caught for speaking during a lesson, "Did ya wanna go this friday?"

I ignored his invitation, trying to take notes on the lesson. It was hard ignoring him. Really fucking hard. I wasn't even paying much attention to the lesson, so I barely took any of the notes on the board because even heartbroken, I wanted to listen to Louis.

Louis frowned, "Mate?"

"Harry, don't speak when I am." The instructor began, making me instantly try to defend myself, "But it wasn't--"

He gave me the look. Y'know, the look every instructor gives when you've crossed the line. I huffed loudly, making my peers oooo and their jaws drop. Boggle eyes looked at me, "Out of my class." I didn't hesitate to get up and snatch up my bag. I glared at Louis who frowned. Before I can make it out of class, I heard Louis say out loud, "You're a real piece of work, aren't you boggle eyes?"

I smacked my hand over my mouth to maintain my laughter along with a few other students.

"What did you call me?" The instrcutor asked, daring Louis to answer.

Louis got up, grabbing his bag, "Boggle. Eyes."

"Get out of my damn class!"

Louis ran out and I followed after him. We let out out laughter at the end of the hall, holding our sides as they struck from pain. I panted, "S-stop laughing, m-my sides," We simultaneously took in deep breaths and grinned at each other. Louis sighed as he relaxed, "What kind of shit were you pulling in class? You were ignorin' me."

I looked down, "I saw you before school...holding hands with Marie."

Louis frowned, "Oh fuck, do you like her?"

"N-no." I said, "It's just..." my voice trailed off. I didn't want to tell him. I sighed, "It just surprised me, that's all."

Louis nodded gently, "I see...well..." He glanced around as if to check if anyone was around, "Ya my best mate...so I'm going to tell you something okay? But you have to promise me you won't leave me...y'know I don't like being alone." He looked scared, and sad--but mostly nervous. I nodded, "I would never leave you, Louis."

Louis looked at me, "Lately, I haven't been feeling normal..." He hesitated, "Last night I was watching pornography. The usual, really. A man and woman...but there was a video with two females. Of course I watched that but then...two men." Louis broke eye contact, "Is it odd that I came a lot faster?" He glanced at me, as if to see my reaction. I was shocked, "I...are you gay?"

"No," He said quickly, "I like women...but men are much more attractive to me--fuck, am I gay? Don't tell anyone--especially my mum--"

"Hey, hey," I rested my hand on his shoulder, "It's okay..."

"I started dating Marie because I know I'm not supposed to feel that way with guys. I want to bury it--"

"What? No, don't bury it." I said.

Louis gave a nervous chuckle, "I can't embrace liking men in a homophobic school, Harry."

"Harry..." Louis looked down, "ya my best mate, I can't..." I was confused. I didn't understand where he was getting at. He took a couple steps away in dis-trot and in thought. Just when I thought he was going to walk away, Louis rushed at me. His hands cupped my cheeks as his lips touched mine. I didn't have time to enjoy the moment because it happened so suddenly. He pulled away quickly. Louis muttered, "I--I need some air." He walked away, toward the back-doors of the school.

I stood in my place, frozen. My fingers met my lips. Even if it did happen so quickly, I can still feel the pressure of his lips against mine. I grinned a bit. I can tell him--everything. He kissed me. I can confess my feelings for him. I ran after him through the back doors. I found him beside a tree, his fingers on his lips. I jogged over, "Louis--"

"Harry, forget it happened. I just wanted to know what it felt like and it was--forget it. I'm not gay or whatever." Louis said, "You're probably so disgusted I'm so sorry. Let's just forget it happened."

I frowned, "But Louis--"

"Drop it." He said sternly.

"Liam's hosting a party tonight. You can come if you're interested." Louis walked past me, "See ya at lunch." No, come back, is what I wanted to say. But I couldn't. I couldn't admit my feelings for him if he's unsure about his sexuality. He's confused and I don't need to add more pressure by confessing. I looked up to the sky. I pointed my finger up, "You play these games very unfair." I said to God(s) that may or may not exist.

Lunch was weird. I didn't eat, only because Marie was flirting with Louis. I can see Louis forcing a smile, as if his head was still in thought but didn't want to concern anyone. We made eye contact a few times, but nothing major. I smiled, he smiled. After school was the worst. Since things were a bit weird between Louis and I, I walked home listening to music. But even my favorite songs couldn't replace the sound of Louis's voice. I walked to Holly's. She was standing by the door with Georgie who ran toward me once he saw me.

"How was he?" I asked.

"Amazing as usual," She grinned, "You have a well behaved little brother, Harry."

I nodded, "Thank you for watching him."

"Sure." She looked at me, "By chance, are you going to Liam's party tonight?"

"Maybe, I don't know."

"Well," her face flushed, "If you do, we can walk over together?"

I shrugged, "Yeah, maybe. I'll let you know later."

Wait did she blush?

I led Georgie inside, finding mum passed out on one of the kitchen chairs. What a lovely mother (eye roll). I gently woke her, "Mum, can you manage to watch over Georgie tonight?" She groaned but nodded. She swatted her hand at me--don't worry, she may be a verbally abusive mom, but she never hit me or Georgie. All she did was wave me to leave her alone. Knowing her, she'll be back on her feet in no time. I watched Georgie run into his room. I called Holly on my phone. She answered a lot quicker than I thought, "What's the news Harry?"

"I can go." I smiled at Georgie who showed me the princess bowl, "What time should I head over?"

"7pm."

"Alright." I hung up the phone. I whispered to Georgie, "Hide it."

He laughed before stuffing it in the closet.

I rolled my eyes with a smile, "Wow, great hiding spot bud." I walked over and kelt beside him, "Can I tell you a secret?"

Because of his limited vocabulary, he didn't understand most of my words. I whispered, "Your big brother is in love with his best friend-and he's a guy. I was born this way...this," I picked up the bowl from inside the hall closet, "Won't change your sexuality. You can have all the princess bowls in the world and you'll still like girls--if you like girls...either way, I'll accept you for you," I kissed his cheek, "I promise you."

Notes

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