Alcoholics Anonymous

Silence.

I looked over at Liam, who was clutching the steering wheel. He had a sad look in his eyes, but he paid me no mind. He kept his eyes glued to the road. I leaned my head back on to the window, and stared at the London streets. They seemed so dark and cold, just like the world I live in now.

"Do you think your son would have wanted this Harry? Do you think he would have wanted his father to become a belligerent drunk?" Liam finally yelled. A vein was popping out of his neck, and I could tell he was angry. I rolled my eyes at him, and scoffed. Who is he to talk to me about Jude?

"What would you do Liam? If you were in my position, and Bear had died, what the fuck would you do?!" I snapped back at him. This is MY child he's talking about. One can never relate to that type of pain. Who is Liam to judge me?

"Harry I can never understand it but... Look at yourself man. You kid wouldn't want this for you. I've known you since I was a lad, I don't want-" He broke off, and I heard him choke up a bit. Liam tended to get emotional with these things. He was the reasonable one because he spoke from the heart. Right now though, I don't want to hear it. Even if it is the truth.

"Your mum called all the boys the other night. She was hoping maybe we could do something. She's scared your going to die Harry. Don't let your mum lose her grandchild and her son as well." Liam spoke quietly. I sighed, and shook my head. They'd rather me alive and miserable, then dead and with Jude. Yet here I am, the one who is accused of selfishness.

"Not to mention your drinking is hurting others. I know what happened the other night was an accident but-" I cut Liam off.

"Don't bring that up Liam!" I snapped at him. He sighed, but nodded his head. I wiped at my eyes, as I felt salty tears starting to form. I know what I did, and I know I'm a fucking monster for it. Why does everyone have to remind me of these things? He pulled into my drive, and parked the car. I waited for him to unlock the doors, so I could get out, but he didn't. He say there. Gripping the steering wheel with one hand, and looking at his lap.

"Harry I'm sorry alright. I just want you to be okay. You need help man, you really do." Liam apologized, and looked up at me. His eyes seemed desperate, and pitiful, but his pity was nothing to me. I didn't want it, and I sure as hell didn't need it.

"And who could help me Liam? Who on this earth could take away my pain. I'm without my son, and a criminal at best. Tell me Liam who can fix it?" I asked, honestly just wanting to leave the car. He gave me a small smile, and put his hand over mine. I looked back at him cautiously, leery of his response.

"It's not about fixing anything Harry, what's done is done. It's about helping you find a better way to cope." He told me, his smile growing again. I snatched my hand from his, and felt a glare arise in my eyes.

"Oh yeah, and how might we go about doing a thing like that?" I asked him, sarcasm laced in my words. He sighed, and looked in front of him again. I chuckled at his insufficient response. Just as I thought I had been victorious in our little banter two words escaped his lips.

"Alcoholics Anonymous." He gave a trite reply, and I stared at him dumbfounded...

He's fucking nuts...

Notes

This is probably the shortest chapter I've ever written, if you could even call it a chapter, but I was desperate to get back on track with this story. Much larger and more fruitful chapters will be on their way!!! Please comment I'd love to get your opinions.

All the love,

~JR