Harry Who?

“Harry who?” She asked and looked over my face carefully, and I felt like I’d been shot. I wanted to hold her in my arms, tell her everything would be okay. I touched her hand and tried to hold it, but she pulled away. I blinked away a few tears and tried to be strong for her, even if she didn’t know who I was.

“One year ago, I came into your bookstore because I was lonely,” I looked into her eyes for some kind of recognition. “You gave me ‘Anne of Green Gables’ to read, except this version had-”

“Vampires,” she said quietly, remembering our inside joke.

My heart fluttered as if were beating for the first time, and warmth spread through veins. The paramedic looked confused, but I ignored her and smiled, wiping a tear off my cheek. “Yes, vampires. You said Gilbert Blythe turned her, but I never read that far in the book.”

She smiled, and I could see the damaged cogs in her brain trying to function and piece the puzzle back together. “You’re the cute boy with the long hair and the dimple.”

“Yes,” I laughed, so relieved that she remembered. “Yes I am.”

“But your hair?” She asked, realizing it was short.

“I had to cut it, you were there,” my smile started to fade.

“Mr. Styles, I’m sorry, but I think she needs to rest,” the paramedic said, and I leaned back, Ellie’s confused eyes following me. We arrived at the hospital a moment later and she was wheeled out of the ambulance. I tried to follow, but they instructed me to go to the waiting room and contact her family.

First, Gemma and mum arrived, and by that evening Scott and her parents had joined us. It seemed like hours before the doctor had any news. No broken bones, but she had, as the paramedic suggested, suffered a concussion. He said it was made worse by the fact she had not waited for her previous concussion to heal completely before playing hockey again.

Her parents shook their heads, and Scott said something like, “I knew she wasn’t ready.”

“She had another concussion?” I asked Scott.

“She didn’t tell you? It was a few weeks ago, and it was very minor. She’d bumped her head at practice and took a few games off. She came back a week later and said she felt fine, but I thought she was rushing it.” He explained. “You know how stubborn Ellie can be…” he kind of smiled, but I could tell he felt guilty for not insisting she take more time to heal.

But it wasn’t his fault; if anyone is to blame, it’s me. I bet she didn’t tell me she was hurt because she didn’t want me to worry. The last time I saw her, she said she had been going to the gym more, really pushing herself, because she had ‘more free time’, as she put it. Free time, meaning I wasn’t around to keep her company. Perhaps I was just spiraling now, but I pictured her sitting at home, doing nothing as she waited for that first concussion to heal. Perhaps she really did feel better, or maybe she was impatient to get back to practice because she couldn’t stand being at home, alone, doing nothing.

Mum and Gemma sat with me in the waiting room a while longer, until it was nearly midnight. Scott came out to tell us Ellie was resting, and we should get some rest. He said the doctor was keeping her overnight for observation, and possibly longer, and he would have a better idea of the scope of her memory loss after more tests.

If she couldn’t remember who I was, I might as well go home to sleep. Mum and Gem were already falling asleep by the time we got back to my apartment. I sat in my room, which smelled like Ellie, and stared at the ceiling wondering what the fuck I was going to do.

I’d barely slept, and the next morning Gemma insisted we get breakfast together. I told her what had happened in the ambulance, how Ellie didn’t remember who I was at first, then she didn’t know why I had short hair. “What am I going to do if she doesn’t remember everything?” I asked her.

“Who knows how much she’s improved since last night. You shouldn’t worry about it so much,” Gemma put her hand on mine. “At least she knows who you are, right?”

“I guess, but seeing that look in her eyes, and the way she said ‘Harry who?’ while she looked right at me...it’s something I’ll never forget.”

“Harry, I know you’re like, the king of rom coms, so you’ll probably remember the title, but remember that movie with Rachel McAdams and Channing Tatum, where she forgets who he is?” Gemma asked.

“‘The Vow’? Yeah, but…” I was slowly realizing what she was saying. “You mean I should make her fall in love with me again?”

“Or, just help her remember, if she needs it.”

I nodded, a thought forming in my mind. “I think I know what you mean. I need to run home to grab my guitar on the way to the hospital.”

Gemma looked confused, but she didn’t ask. She let me go back to the hospital alone, understanding that I needed to do this on my own.

I felt a little odd showing up at Ellie’s hospital room with my guitar, but her parents and Scott were kind enough to let me see her alone. They said she was doing much better, but no prognosis on the depth of her memory loss, or how long it would take to get it back, if she did. When it was just the two of us, I pulled up a chair to sit next to her.

“No, you can sit here,” she moved over and patted the bed.

“Okay,” I sat on the edge of her bed and looked her over. She looked exactly the same as I’d seen her last time, but apparently the last time she saw me, I had long hair. How long ago was that?

“Hey, um, I forgot to ask Scott, but, did he propose to his girlfriend yet?” She asked, and I shook my head.

“I don’t know, we don’t talk about that kind of thing. You haven’t mentioned it to me, either.” I shrugged apologetically.

“That’s fine, I don’t even remember when he talked to me about it, I just have this memory of thinking about him asking my mom for our grandmother Marie’s ring so he could give it to Viv. And then,” she shook her head and smiled weirdly. “Then I thought, wouldn’t it be funny if Harry’s mom had some ring she was saving for him, like my mom had been.” She laughed and closed her eyes. “I don’t know why I just said that to you. I feel a little drunk, or hungover. Everything is bright, and loud. I think it’s the pain meds.”

I nodded and didn’t say anything, but my heart swelled at the image she described. The fact that she had even thought about that at some point made me smile until my face hurt. Neither of us really knew what to say to the other, so we stared at each other for a moment until she pointed to my guitar in the corner.

“What’s that for?”

“That’s a guitar, Ell, I’m a musician-”

She cut me off with a laugh. “I know, that, Harry. I haven’t completely lost my mind. I mean, why did you bring it?”

“Oh, right,” I blushed a little. “Yesterday, you didn’t recognize me, and when you did, you didn’t understand why I had short hair.”

She nodded. “You’re in some movie, right?” I nodded. “See, it’s coming back. Slowly but surely.”

I smiled. I was so relieved to hear that, but I still wasn’t sure how much she remembered. “I thought maybe I’d play you a song, to help you remember.”

“I’d like that.” She smiled. “But do it quietly, please. Everything is so loud.”

“Okay, I’ll sit over there, and I’ll be quiet,” I got off the bed and sat on a chair. “Let me know if it bothers you, I’ll stop.”

I played the first few notes and watched her, and she seemed okay, so I kept going.

“Hey there Elloise, what’s it like in New York City,
I’m a thousand miles away, but girl tonight you look so pretty, yes you do,
Time square can’t shine as bright as you, I swear it’s true,
Hey there Elloise, don’t you worry about the distance, I’m right there,
If you get lonely give this song another listen, close your eyes….”

Notes

I’m writing an alternate ending to this story, so I rearranged the chapters so it was a little easier to follow where the new/alternate story takes off. I couldn’t decide if I wanted a happy or sad ending, so I thought, why not both?

Alternate Ending: http://www.onedirectionfanfiction.org/Story/89905/Harry-Who-Alternate-Ending/