Harry Who?

The bookstore became unbearably dull and boring after I returned from New York. Now more than ever I felt like I was going nowhere, just wasting my time waiting for something to happen. I hadn’t talked about hockey or the accident with anyone for a while, so to bring all that up again made me realize just how much I missed it. Harry was my one escape, and we spent hours texting, or talking late at night. We always seemed to avoid the topic of ‘us’ and relationships, but it was still nice just to talk.

I visited my parents for a few days while Scott was home between the pre-season and the start of the regular NHL season. They did nothing but talk about his NHL debut, and say how proud of him they were. I know I should have been happy for him, and I was, but it just made me angry. It was so irritating to see him living his dream, our dream of playing pro hockey, while my life stagnated. To think I peaked in college, and would never get any higher in my career...it was a depressing thought I had been avoiding, and now I could think of nothing else.

“Ellie?” I looked up as I heard my name. My parents and Scott were staring at me, waiting for a response.

“Sorry, what?”

“Scott says you were in New York at the time, visiting a friend?” My mom repeated.

“Oh, yeah, it was a coincidence. I’m really lucky I got to be there,” I smiled tiredly at Scott.

“I didn’t even realize you were out of the country; who were you visiting? Anyone I know?” My mom asked.

“Sorry, it was a last minute trip. Just a friend from school, I don’t think you’ve met her,” I could tell I was blushing with embarrassment, and excused myself from the table. “I’m going to get some air; working the night shift is starting to get to me.”

“Sorry, hun, I forgot you’re usually asleep this time of day,” my mom apologized as I left the kitchen. I sat down on the front steps and played with a strand of grass as I tried to clear my head. I was never very good at lying to my parents, and it made it worse that they were so kind and supportive. As much as I’d love to tell them I was visiting my new boyfriend Harry Styles, I’m not entirely sure he was my boyfriend.

I was startled by the screen door opening and whipped my head around to see who it was.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” Scott said as he handed me a cup of coffee. “Mom made coffee because you looked tired.”

“Oh, thanks,” I took the mug and held it with both hands, absorbing its warmth. I didn’t realize I was cold until I was holding the warm mug, goosebumps forming on my arms.

“So, um, you weren’t really visiting a friend, were you?” He asked as he sat down next to me.

“Was it that obvious?” I turned to look at him, and he grimaced.

“I think they bought it, but it was not your best performance.” He took a sip of his coffee and it was quiet for a moment. “If you don’t mind me asking, what were you doing in New York?”

‘I do mind you asking’ I thought, but I know he’s just trying to look out for me. “Nothing, it’s complicated.”

“Okay, that usually means there’s a guy involved. It’s funny,” he half smiled. “I thought maybe you were trying out for the New York Riveters.”

I laughed and almost spit out my coffee. “Scott, I would love to play in the National Women’s Hockey League, but you know I can’t play anymore.”

“I don’t know, they can do a lot with physical therapy these days. You’re still going to that, right?” He asked, and glanced at me.

“No, I gave up months ago. Once I could walk and move normally, I stopped going.”

“Ell, you’re never going to fully recover if you don’t go to PT.” He shook his head. “Sorry, I’m your big brother, I have to say stuff like that.”

“I know, I just lost motivation, I guess.” I stared into my coffee. “And you’re only older by like 15 minutes,” I reminded him. He loved to play the ‘older brother’ card a lot, even though we’re practically the same age.

“Getting the chance to play professional hockey isn’t motivation enough? It’s only the NWHL’s first season, but I thought for sure that’s something you would have wanted to be involved in.”

“It would have been, yeah. When they were forming teams earlier this year I got a call, but I was not 100% at the time, physically speaking, and I don’t think I ever will be, so I turned it down.”

“What?!? I had no idea! How could you turn down the chance to play professional hockey?” Scott was shocked.

“I don’t think I can play anymore,” I repeated. “Not at that level. I play with a local women's team on the weekends, it’s basically a beer league, but that’s nothing compared to the NWHL.”

“I don’t believe you; I think you’ve still got it. We’re going to the ice arena,” he stood up and held out a hand to help me up. I reluctantly took it and let him pull me to my feet.

“Scott, I don’t have my skates or any other gear…” I whined, but I knew we were going through with this regardless.

“I’m sure mom and dad have a few of our old sticks hanging around in the garage, and we can rent skates at the arena.”

“Fine, just let me change my clothes first,” I gave in. I was reluctant, but it would be nice to get on the ice with Scott again. It had been months since we hit a puck around together.

“Don’t worry, I’ll go easy on you,” he said as we drove to the arena.

“Ha! I was just going to say the opposite thing to you,” I teased. “Now that you’re pro, I won’t go easy on you anymore.”

“Right,” he said sarcastically.

The arena was exactly as I remembered it, and we recalled the countless hours we had spent here growing up. We found some spare pucks and set up the nets, taking a few shots to warm up.

“I’m glad mom kept our old helmets from high school,” I said as I adjusted the straps. “My head is the one thing I didn’t mess up in that accident, and I’d like to keep it that way.”

“Don’t worry, we’ll play no contact. Ready?” Scott brought the puck out to center ice. I nodded I was ready and joined him. We started lightly, having fun, until we each got more competitive and things got pretty serious.

After an hour, Scott stopped me, out of breath. “Damn, you still got it. I’ve played NHL hockey easier than that.”

“Shut up, you’re just saying that. Besides, you’ve only played a couple pre-season games, I don’t think that counts,” I teased.

He shrugged. “Either way, I need to catch my breath.” He hopped the boards and sat on the bench, while I skated back to center ice.

“Whatever, I’m going to practice my slapshot,” I called back to him and collected all the pucks. I forgot how nice it felt to really hit the puck hard - it’s a great way to get out anger. After a few minutes I noticed Scott had his phone out.

“Are you taking my picture?” I asked and skated over to the bench.

“No, a video. I want you to see how you look when you play. You look...happy? Or, uh, satisfied?” He shook his head. “That’s not the right word, but it looks natural. And you have excellent form on your shot.”

“Thanks,” I said quietly and took his phone to watch. It was weird. I felt like I was watching someone else, or remembering a dream. I replayed it a few times, then sent the video to myself. I shrugged and handed his phone back to him. “Whatever, it’s easy to hit an empty net.”

Scott laughed. “You are always so hard on yourself. Come on, let’s grab a drink.”

A couple drinks later, we drove home from the bar and joked about old hockey memories. It was late, almost midnight, by the time we got in. Mom and dad were asleep so we tried to sneak in quietly.

“Just like high school,” I whispered and we tried (but failed) to quietly get up the stairs without them creaking. Our childhood bedrooms were exactly the same. Hockey trophies mounted on the walls, I had the same bed sheets and everything. “Goodnight, thanks for making me play some hockey tonight.”

“Hopefully you’ve realized that next time the NWHL calls, you shouldn’t turn them down,” he replied before slipping into his room.

I stayed up late thinking about that and rewatched that video several times. ‘He’s right’ I thought as I watched it again. ‘I shouldn’t have given up so easily’
I don’t know why, but I sent the video to Harry, with the text “I still got it!”

He didn’t reply, since it was very early where he was, and I eventually forgot about it and fell asleep.

I was woken up the next morning to my phone buzzing. It was Harry, and I had several missed calls from him as well. “Sorry, I was asleep,” I said as I answered my phone.

“You’re playing hockey again?” Harry asked excitedly.

“With my brother, we were just having fun,” I replied groggily and rubbed my eyes.

“That was fierce, you looked pretty hot,” he added quietly, and I laughed. “So...when you said you ‘still got it’ were you thinking of pursuing your dream of playing hockey again?” I couldn’t tell if he sounded disappointed or not. It was too early and his tone was always so unreadable, especially on the phone.

“Not any time soon,” I answered. “Why?”

“I’ve been thinking about what you said in New York, and I’d like to talk to you.” He said hesitantly. “In person.”

“In person? Um, okay… where are you?”

“I’m at home. In England. We’re just finishing up our tour here.” He paused. “We’re headed to LA next week to do the Late Late Show, I could stop by Ottawa? It’s on the way.”

“Harry, whatever you have to say, you can say it on the phone. I don’t want to make you come all the way here just to break up with me in person,” I sighed and rested my head against the bedpost.

“I wasn’t going to break up with you…” he said quietly, and I swear I could hear him smiling.

“Oh!” I sat up straight in bed, my head suddenly clear. “Oh.”

“Yeah, I guess it’s not a surprise anymore. But I also didn’t want to ask you to leave Ottawa if you were getting back into hockey there.”

“Nope, not an issue. How about I just come with you to LA?” I suggested. “And, then wherever you’re going after that?”

He thought for a moment. “What about your job? I wouldn’t want you to leave your job just for me.”

“I actually gave my two weeks notice,” I blushed. I’m not sure why, but I was embarrassed, like maybe he would think I seemed desperate.

“Oh, when?” He perked up.

“Two weeks ago.”

“So you’re done with work?” He sounded pretty excited now, and I was relieved we were on the same page.

“Yes,” I answered. “And I can be packed and ready to move out of my apartment at a moment’s notice. My roommate has a friend who can move in and buyout my lease. My elderly neighbor has always loved my cat, so I gave him to her before I came up to visit my parents. I’m ready. I’m ready for something to happen, some kind of change When I said I would give it all up, I meant it. After all, there's not really that much to give up.”

It was quiet for a moment as I waited for him to respond. “Harry?”

“I didn’t want to be the kind of guy who asked you to give up your job, or your cat for me, but you’ve already done that all on your own. I didn’t even know you had a cat,” he laughed.

“His name is Wayne. Like Wayne Gretzky.”

“Of course, that’s fitting,” he laughed.

“I thought of you yesterday when I was drinking coffee,” I said after a moment.

“Oh really?”

“Yeah. I didn’t realize I was cold until I was holding a cup of hot coffee, and it started to warm me up. I guess I thought of you because I didn’t realize I was bored, lonely, or whatever...until you came along and opened my eyes, and warmed me up.” I swallowed nervously. This was not coming out how I thought it would.

“I’m glad I could warm you up, and, uh, light your candle.” I could picture him smirking.

“Oh, you can light my candle,” I teased seductively. “Damn I forgot I was at my parents, I shouldn’t have said that so loudly.”

He laughed and I felt my cheeks turning pink. “I’ve missed that, Ell, thank you.”

“I’ve missed you to,” I replied sarcastically. “I have to go for breakfast, but I’ll see you in Ottawa.”

“Right. Until Ottawa.”

Notes

Sorry there’s not much Harry in this chapter, but from here out it will be all Ellie and Harry! I feel like it seems that things are going kind of fast with them, but it’s been nearly two months since they met, and they do talk a lot, I just haven’t shown that really. Any feedback/comments are always welcome : )