Fearless

September 3rd, 2012

Louis' heart pounded quietly in his chest as he waited for his blonde childhood friend to arrive. He sat on one of the bar stools, finding it odd how big the restaurant she worked in looked before opening doors. There was no dimness nor music; just the scraping of a broom on wooden floors and the squeak of dish towels on counters. The eeriness of the emptiness was beginning to get to him.

The anticipation of a second chance was dawning on him the more he waited. The fact that someone was willing to try to get to know him on a level that he once had was exciting for him. He felt he was normal; he felt small again. Louis felt as though he was getting an opportunity of a life time. It wasn't just a chance to get his best friend back, but to get himself back.

Rosie was proposing something something he hasn't gotten in awhile. The normalcy of the way she treated him was refreshing. The stiffness wasn't out of hate but the lack of habit. It was clear to him that she was trying to separate herself from the situation, but like him, she wanted to at least try. It didn't feel like she was trying to get anything other than respect from him.
She didn't yell at him for his mistakes either, which was new entirely. She found a completely different way to make him feel guilty about his actions which was something he hated, but he needed. She gave him hard advice, advice that was difficult to process and that he didn't want to hear. Rosie told him what his problems were without him having to tell her. She gave him his sense of self again.

It took him awhile to come to the conclusion that it was easier to be himself with someone who grew up with him. He had to put aside his pride and ego to understand that she could help him. She always knew how. They both discovered their identities together, and now it was time to for him to do that again.

"Okay, we have to be quick," Rosie rushed through the doors as she running in with the click of her heels. She startled him. "I have school in a half hour."

Her thick, curly hair was pulled in a loose ponytail, displaying her cheeks that were covered in a slab of makeup covering her freckles and thick eyeliner lined her blue eyes. She didn't look like the girl he went to school with or grew up with. Her outfit was just as simple and unkempt as before, but it didn't hide her new persona.

Rosie stood behind the bar and pulled out her notebook from her bag with a trace of a smile playing on her lips. She flipped through the wrinkled pages then looked up at him with closed lips. The paper had a bunch of doodles and scratches from dead pens and procrastination. On the top of the page read "The Trusting List" in bubble letters coloured in with highlighter markers. Under it was a list of thirteen things to accomplish before the end of the month.

"I was up all night thinking about this," she started leaning on the counter. She slid the notebook over to him. "I can learn to trust you again if - and only if - you prove that you're willing to work on yourself."

"Seems simple enough." Louis nodded, looking over the list.

He listened to her laugh lowly, pursing her lips to conceal a smile. "I think," she started, stopping for a moment. She titled her head and looked at him again. "I find that the biggest problem is your ego," she stated looking at the notebook with a raised eyebrow, "so, what better way than to bring you down to earth?"

Her handwritten words were carefully within the lines, looped letters overlapping each other. The familiar penmanship couldn't distract him from the contents. With a simple scan, he knew this couldn't be good for him.

"Number one is the most important one," Rosie smiled, "Renewing your Driver's license."
Louis suppressed his urge to roll his eyes. "Shocker."

Louis thought of himself as a pretty good driver. He learned from his biological father in an empty car park in the city. It was a fond memory that he loved to hate. After a couple of forgetful drinks, he will admit that he was like everyone else who tried to drive drunk; stupid. But it was only twice, but she wouldn't let him forget.

"Number two," smirked Rosie, "Try cat food."

He was taken back for a moment, in shock of the crazy task. "You're fucking thick if you think I'm going to do that," Louis said flabbergasted.

"Oh I'm sorry, eating animal food is gross? Oh no," Rosie faked sympathy, placing her hand over her heart, "its almost like you made me try dog food before."

Louis paused, remembering the vivid memory. It was a simple dare that one of his friends actually gave him to do. With childish schemes and the lack of thought process, he asked her to do it, pressuring her to try his pet's food for him. "That was ten years ago!"

"What can I say? I'm one bitter bitch." She smirked, "You're doing it. It'll teach you humility."

Louis clenched his jaw and looked back at the paper doing his best not to get irritated. "Number three is riding a horse in underwear?" Louis looked up at her, slowly losing patience. "You're that petty?"

"The fuck?" She enthused, looking at him with furrowed eyebrows. "You fucking broke my knee."

"Oh shut up, it was dislocated." Louis corrected.

He remembered that dare from years before, feeling so guilty at the time. It was when they were in their rebellious years, doing things that their parents warned them not to. They thought that they were so clever knowing that they had found a loophole in their parents warnings. No one ever thinks to tell their kids not to ride around a field on a horse in their bathing suit, so they did. Rosie was the first - and last - to try it. It was an adventure that had Louis's lips turn in a grin.

"Can I finish explaining, please?" She asked irritated.

She continued, grazing over each chore he had to do for her forgiveness. He noticed how she incorporated childhood memories and details she knew about him. She gave her reasonings for each task, explaining that it will teach him the things she believes he's lost. She smirked at her devious plans, knowing that it would also bring him unbelievable embarrassment. They were purposely embarrassing, challenging his willingness.

"You do know that I can't do these things, right?" Louis thought out loud. "I'm going to have to take it through management and that in itself is going to take months."

The smirk on Rosie's lips faded, not thinking about the business element to her former friend. A pout was placed on her lips, "I can talk to Simon?"

"He's the founder, not my manager, love." Louis smiled sadly.

He watched her as she looked down, looking for any type of explanation for why Simon couldn't fix it. He knew she didn't understand the business aspect to the music industry - he didn't really understand it either. He did know what was expected of him though, and all of these breached that.

"Why was Simon here with you then?"

"Because I fucking hate Lisa," He laughed, just thinking of what she would say if she saw that list. He explained that Simon knew he'd leave if it was only her conducting the meeting, so Simon took it over in order to say what needed to be said. "She's such a bitch."

"Lisa is your manager..." Rosie trailed off, "and I have to appease a bitch?"

He raised his eyebrows with a smile playing on his lips, "Appease a bitch," he repeated, "I like that."

There was no way in hell that she was going to get passed his manager, let alone the next
three levels of people working for him. The fear of losing his opportunity was starting to set in. The list was an idea - a quite good one to him, but it was unreasonable. He wished she just asked to meet a celebrity or dinner, something he can do alone on his own terms.

Rosie rolled her eyes, "I'll figure something out. You will be doing this list."

"Rosie," he started, trying to convince her to stop, "I swear I'll do anything, but I can't do this."

She covered her ears, "La la la, I can't hear you," she sang.

"Rosie-" She sang louder. "Rosie."

"I have to go to school," she said ripping out the list from her notebook, "I'll tell you when to start."

He watched her as she packed up her stuff and dismissed herself from the floor staff.

He sighed, picking up the thin paper and looked over it once more. He could tell she spent time on it - and that it would help him regain her trust but they were all childish things that the media could pick up. He could already hear the condescending headlines on him returning home to find himself again. As true as those motives are, he doesn't want to be associated with his hometown once more, at least, not on a global scale.

Perhaps, if no one finds out, they can do a few of the tasks. A lot of them were publicly embarrassing, but others were manageable. He was willing to get into trouble for her, under the table. If his team found out about the list, they might force her to stop all contact with him.

"Buddy," a staff member called, "we're opening in 20, so unless you're buying something, you gotta leave."

Louis folded the list and placed it in his back pocket. He felt his phone vibrate in his jacket but momentarily decided that he should spend the day with himself, by himself.

oOo
The cold air hit Louis' uncovered skin as he walked along a fenced in field. Children came pouring out of the school doors, filling the dead air with laughter and chatter, looking for their parent to take them home.

He looked for his youngest sisters through the crowd of uniforms. It's been years since he's picked up his baby sisters. The familiarity of his spot mutated into irritation when he was tapped on the shoulder.

"Hi, um, sorry to bother you," said a girl a few years younger than him, "are you Louis from One Direction?"

Louis momentarily scowled, wanting uninterrupted silence. He strained a smile and nodded, offering a picture. As much as he wanted to pick up his sisters in peace, he knew that he had to change his attitude towards his job for Rosie. There is never a day off as an entertainer, and he had to suck it up.

The girl giggled and took out her phone, thanking him profusely for the opportunity. It wasn't long before more girls came to him, asking for the same treatment. They surrounded him, forming a multi layered circle around him. Louis felt the pace of his heart start to fasten as more people came up to him. He didn't have security with him or backup at all. As respectfully as he could, through his anxiety he declined, saying that he had to look for his sisters. Although they groaned, upset that he said no, he was grateful that they didn't push him.

His sisters spotted him and ran to him, their blonde ponytails trailing behind them, grinning and screaming. They yelled his name and extended their arms. He knelt down and spread out his arms, letting them run into them.

"I missed you," he muttered into their hair as they hugged either side of his chest. "Let's go pick up Fiz and Lottie, yeah?"

They nodded, amazed by the presence of their older brother. "Are we walking there?" Phoebe asked, taking one of his hands.

He grabbed their knapsacks and threw them around his shoulder. "Yes, love. I want to hear about your day."

The girls took turns chattering about their day and what activities they did that day. When they ran out of that, they started to fill him in on all the things he's missed since his last visit.

The walk came to a halt when they reached his old high school. It was just as dingy as before, resembling a prison ward with the amount of windows mounted on it. The fence around the building was the only thing new about it; the name of the building looked like it was melting off and most of the bricks were rotten and old.

"When do they get out, Louis?" Daisy asked looking up at her older brother.

He let go of her hand for a second to check the time. "Should be any minute now."

As if on cue, a loud bell rang, echoing off the empty field. The same routine followed with a crowd pushing through the doors to get home quicker. It took a few minutes before Louis saw his curly headed friend and his two other sisters, Felicity and Lottie, walk passed the crowd and onto the grass.

He smiled momentarily, feeling nostalgic. He was in a rush to graduate but the simplicity of high school was something he missed dearly. Louis had stability in school; he had friends who loved him, decent grades and a hopeful future ahead of him. He remembered all the times running down the corridors and the banter between the teachers. His reminiscing came to a close when the very girls that he wanted to pick up tackled him in a running hug.

"What are you doing here?" asked Rosie, still walking towards him.

"What do you mean what am I doing here?" He smiled, looking at his sisters then at her, "I'm picking up Lottie and Fiz."

Rosie raised her eyebrows, questioning his motives. "Okay, Louis, whatever you say." Sighing, Rosie adjusted her bag and asked the girls if they needed a ride.

"Oh that would be lovely, thanks." Louis imposed, stepping forward.

"That was an offer for the girls," said Rosie, snarling at his comment.

"C'mon," he smiled, "what's one more person?"

She rolled her eyes, and put her arm around Lottie. She started leading them to the car park
where her rented truck resided. "There's only room for four so one one the girls have to sit on Louis' lap."

Rosie searched the small pocket of her black Jansport bag for her car keys. Once found, she unlocked the car with a beep.

"Jesus, this looks like it came straight out of Texas." Louis looked at the old rusted pick up truck in confusion.

"I know." Rosie grinned. "Isn't it brilliant?"

"Alright Posh McGee, settle down."

She rolled her eyes as her smile fell. She opened the car door and put her seat down so Louis and the girls can sit in the back.

Notes