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Beating Heart

e i g h t y f i v e - cotton.

//Julianne//

The past week has been unusually calm for us. Nothing extremely intimate has occurred - just the usual shower or bath together. Most nights we find ourselves wrapped up in a kissing session, followed by touching here and there. But not this week, things have been relatively boring.

Today is Friday, and the morning has suddenly appeared. I couldn't sleep all too well last night. Part of me wanted to believe that the reason was Harry's weight on top of me. However, I know better than to blame that. He makes me feel so safe, so comforted. When he lies on me like this, his head resting on my chest, his arms wrapped around my torso - I feel absolutely perfect. I'm so in love with him, it's crazy at times.

The other part of me, the correct part, knows that I couldn't sleep because of the undying thoughts lingering in my anxious mind. For some odd reason, these past few nights I have found myself lost in thought - all revolving around my father. It's very hard to comprehend. Why, after all this time - all these months being away - am I just now thinking about him? Of course, throughout my time away from my childhood home I have gotten distracted by the thought of him - but never for this long, never this deep.

I can't tell if I'm feeling pity for him, because my hatred is so overpowering. I can't stand to be around my father, yet my mind is filled with images of him - his voice is ringing in my ears. Everything he ever done, all the bad and the good, is circling my mind. I don't like it. I keep telling myself that there's no reason to think about him. He doesn't care, clearly. He never cared about me, not a single bit. And how, after all the horrible things he done to me, all the terrible things he done to my mother, how could I possibly care at all?

Suddenly, I'm yanked from my deep thoughts - thanks to Harry. I smile gently as I feel him stir on me, his arms tightening their grip. One of his legs is between mine, he isn't heavy - but it is hard to move. He isn't preventing me from breathing, so I consider that a good thing. "You wakin' up, honey?" I ask in a whisper while my fingers massage his scalp. He hums against my clothed chest, a smile on his sweet lips.

He likes it when I use pet names - even if they are just simple ones. "M'not cookin' today." I laugh faintly, tugging at his hair. He grunts, not happy with my words. He made me cook breakfast all by myself three times this week - I'd rather not watch him hold down his vomit while he eats. It wasn't completely horrible, but it wasn't very tasteful either. I could tell he didn't like it - I easily saw past his compliments and the lying. I was upset only on the first day, because I just wanted him to be honest. However, I got over it when he assured me he was just being that way so I wouldn't get hurt. He takes my feelings into consideration all the time, I should have realized that.

"No one's cookin'." Harry says in a quiet voice. My brows shoot up at his words - this rarely occurs. If he doesn't cook, it's either because we slept in - or because I want something quick like cereal or oatmeal. I glance over to the digital clock on the nightstand. The blue numbers read 9:17AM - obviously, we haven't slept in this morning. "What do you mean?" I ask curiously, my fingers lost in his locks by now.

"You'll see." He leans up, finally allowing me to see those pretty eyes of his. I grin up at him as he hoists himself above me, only one hand holds him up. "I need you.. to stay right here.. for a minute." Harry pecks my lips a few times in between his words, making me anxious about what is to come. "Wh-where are you going?" I ask as he climbs off me, throwing his legs over the bed as he sits up. "Just relax.. lie back down." Harry looks over his shoulder at me, winks, then stands up like I'm not here panicking silently.

I stay upright, despite his kind demand, and watch as he hurries across the room to the chest-of-drawers. He pulls open different drawers, grabbing articles of clothing for the both of us. I gulp gently, what in the world is he up to? "Harry?" I call his name when he shuts all the drawers. He whips around, a grin plastered on his handsome face.

"Yes ma'am?" He asks, lifting a brow as he walks back to the bed. I swallow the lump in my throat (I hadn't realized it even formed until I went to speak), "Are we going somewhere?" This is the only thing I can think of, and by the look on his face, I'm correct. "Maybe." He shrugs, but like usual he isn't good at pulling things off. Well, I'll give him some credit, there have been a few surprises he's succeeded at, but not many.

"Get dressed, get ready.. and do not worry." Harry leans over the bed, his sweet lips press into my forehead. "I love you, sugar." He mutters against my skin. I feel my cheeks light up, he does wondrous things to me. "I love you, too." I say as he starts to get dressed. I assume I should do the same?

*+*+*

"Harry.. why on earth did you go out of your way to feed me?" My eyes widen as the waitress sits the stack of chocolate chip pancakes (with a side of various fruits) down in front of me. Harry's beaming smile across the table makes my heart flutter. "I decided that we needed to go on a date, y'know, like normal couples." I pick up my fork, ready to dig into the tasty looking treats.

"You make wonderful chocolate chip pancakes.. so don't feel bad if I enjoy these too much." I take the time to tell him this because I just want him to be reminded of how incredible his cooking skills are - he's like my own personal chef. "I know you like mine, don't worry." He winks cheekily at me, making my face burn with slight embarrassment.

"A breakfast date.. I didn't realize people do these." I say, taking another bite of the delicious (but not comparable to Harry's) food. He chuckles at my words, I'm sure I sounded like an idiot. "It's not just breakfast, baby. The whole day. I have some things planned for us." Harry informs me, smiling the entire time. "Well, mostly things planned for you." He corrects himself before I have time to say anything. "Harry, you know I don't like to have attention on me." I shake my head slightly from side to side, my eyes dropping from his gaze.

He does the sweetest things for me, but I feel like I never deserve them. He deserves everything, though, and I only wish I could give him that.

"I'm going to spoil you today, so I don't want to hear any of that nonsense, darlin'." Harry purposely bumps my foot underneath the table. I roll my eyes, not understanding why he's treating me so well - I'm only human, nothing extraordinary. "Why do you have that look on your face? What's on your mind?" Harry questions out of nowhere. I look up just to see his eyes staring straight at me - studying my expression.

I carelessly lift a shoulder, not wanting to be honest with him right now. I have a billion things on my mind, and it's all driving me mad. "Something is wrong, and I'd like it if you told me. 'member, we said we'd talk things through." Harry reminds me of the promise we made to each other - the very same promise that's been haunting me for a while.

Of course I don't mind talking to him, but I don't want him to know everything. For instance, my recent thoughts about my father, I don't want Harry to know I'm keeping myself up at night over that bastard, that he's the reason I haven't been able to sleep lately.

Before I could do anything, Harry gets up and joins me on the cushioned booth, forcing me to slide closer to the wall. "If there is somethin' botherin' you.. please tell me. I can fix it." His arm slides around my back, his big hand grabs onto my waist. I turn my head, our eyes meeting again. His emerald orbs are full of concern and worry, all for me. Whereas, I'm sure, mine are empty.

"Please tell me you aren't upset about this? I just.. I just want to treat you to a nice day." Harry begins to verbally prove that he's worried - and I don't want him to think he's done anything wrong. "No.. it's not that." I shake my head rapidly, lifting my hand to his heated cheek - it's warmer than usual. "Then-then what's wrong? I-I can't-can't.. read your mind so you have to-to tell me." He stammers here and there, anxiety overcoming his strength.

"Don't freak out, everything's fine." I say in a hushed tone, trying to tell him to quiet down without actually having to tell him to. He's very loud right now, and I don't want to make a scene in this rather busy restaurant. "Julianne." He breathes out my name, his voice is hardly there. "I just have some random things on my mind, Harry, I promise it's nothing to worry over. It has nothing to do with today, I promise." My claim isn't very true.

Half of my thoughts are about today - I'm confused on why exactly this is happening, why he's treating me so amazingly - but I don't dare tell him this. He'll never let it go, it'll drive him insane.

"I want to make you feel special. I.. I want to show you that I love you. And, and that we can do normal things together." He calmly says, then takes a heavy inhale. "You don't have to prove to me that you love me, honey. I.. I obviously know you do." Sometimes he can get stressed, and right now is one of those times. No matter how relaxed he seems, I can easily tell when he's on the edge - whether it be anger or sadness or anything else, I always can see it.

-

//Harry//

Our special day, so far, as gone pretty well. Breakfast was good for the most part, as was lunch. We've been at the mall for a few hours now, so we just ate something quick in the food court. Julianne was hesitant about picking out things she liked, because she didn't want to spend my money. Silly girl, she ought to know I would buy her anything her heart desires.

After we ate lunch, we took the shopping bags we already got to the truck, just so our hands can be free for the rest of the stops throughout the mall. I brought up some stores that I would like to take her to, and she even mentioned some herself. I'm very glad that she got over the insecurity of letting me purchase things for her - this makes the trip more enjoyable for both of us.

Currently, we are trailing through a clothing store, her eyes have scanned over a few things but she hasn't reached out to touch something yet. That's how I know she likes it, I've noticed that she likes to feel things. If she retracts her hand quickly, then she doesn't like the feel of the fabric. But if her touch lingers for a moment, and her head tilts slightly to the side to examine the item - she likes it. That hasn't happened in this store yet.

I think it's cute, the way girls shop around. I would just grab a shirt - but Julianne is quite complex when it comes to picking out something. It's adorable, really, how girls (I've noticed that others we have been near today do the same thing as her, just in different ways of course - everyone has a type of clothing they like) observe a piece of clothing.

As we approach the next section, Julianne grabs my hand and begins to walk quicker, wanting to bypass this part of the store. I look over to see that it's the undergarments section. A smile comes to my face as I stop in my tracts, forcing Julianne to halt as well. "Harry." She sighs, turning to face me after failing to pull me.

"You've avoided these things in every store we've been in." I mention, this makes her cheeks blush harshly. "Harry, please." She huffs out, annoyed and embarrassed right now. She's quite beautiful when she's blushing, such a gorgeous creature. "It's a part of life." Purposely, I pull a smirk to my lips. She slaps her free hand against my chest a few times, trying to get me to knock it off. However, I don't stop with the slight teasing.

"You should try purple. I like purple." I lick my lips gently as I let my eyes roam over the displayed pieces. Some are cotton, which is all Julianne owns, and some are lace - which she lacks. I don't mind though, she's absolutely stunning in anything she puts on her perfect figure. Yet, that doesn't mean I wouldn't enjoy seeing her in something flashy, something daring.

"Okay, fine." She drops my hand and before I realize it, she's walking through the previously forbidden section. I decide on doing the same, hoping to find something else I want to see her in. As I'm strolling through the aisles, I come across a very thin, barely there lingerie set - black lace. I gulp at the image in my head - seeing my lovely girl in something like this would make me explode on the spot.

"Here." Julianne appears beside me and throws something at me. Instinctively I catch it, and look down to examine it. It's a package full of purple cotton underwear. I smile gently as I admire the royal color - picturing what it would look like contrasting against her pale skin. Just like the black lace - it would be beautiful on her.

"There's your purple. Now, can we move along?" Julianne stands there with her arms crossed on her chest, a raised brow on her forehead. "I'm beginning to like black as well." I casually say as I put the pack under my arm, we didn't grab a basket of any sort. "I wear black all the time." Julianne scoffs lightly, not understanding why I'm so caught up with the color.

"Yeah, but.. there's a particular kind of black." Almost instantly, her lips part in confusion. "Harry, I have to use the restroom. Meet me outside of it, please." Julianne lets out a sigh as she turns on her heel and heads towards the restroom. I take this as an opportunity to grab the pieces of black lace. Quickly, I filter through the pile beneath the display to find her sizes in both pieces. Obviously I know what she wears, I do her laundry.

-

"Have you enjoyed the day?" I take a quick glance at her, making sure not to lose focus on the road for too long. "Mmhm, it was lovely." She squeezes my hand, which she cradles with both of hers in her lap. "Yeah? I'm glad you had a good time, that was all I wanted, to make you happy." I hear her take a deep breath before she replies to me. "I always have a good time with you, and you always make me happy, Harry." Julianne's eyes are staring at me, I can feel it - but I'm not going to risk our lives to get a look at her, even though I want to see her pretty face.

"I hope you enjoy the last part, as well." I let the smirk cover my mouth, her eyes burning through me suddenly. "What do you mean? I thought we were going home?" She questions, partly nervous. "We will after dinner." I tell her, licking my lips quickly. "But.. we're headed home.." Her voice trails off, confusion wrapping around her mind. "Be patient, my dear, be patient."