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Beating Heart

s e v e n t y t h r e e - medications.

//love can be painful//


//Julianne//

Immediately, I anchor my fingernails into Harry's skin - what on earth has gotten into him? My head starts to spin as I gasp for air, Harry's tight grip not allowing me any at all. His eyes are hard and dark - nothing like I accepted. I could have sworn I would see them illuminate, but it's quite the opposite. "Harry! What the hell are you doing?!" Gemma shrieks, clearly she's afraid for me and I'm glad someone cares. The only person I want to care doesn't. He remains silent as I feel my throat closing quickly, my vision is switching between a shaky focus and a heavy, thick blur. My lungs are aching and my throat is burning, the need for air setting flames inside of me.

"Don't you dare say I don't care about you!" Harry screams directly into my face, my ears ringing from the loud noise. I start to thrash as much as my body can, but under Harry's grasp most things are hard to accomplish. I'm thankful that my feet on planted on the ground, unlike what he done to Liam moments ago. I never thought the tables would turn.

"You are never allowed to speak to him again!" Harry yells out, referring to Liam who I know has to be fear stricken like Gemma and I both. I attempt to nod, anything to cope with him. It doesn't work, my head doesn't even move. My eyes are feeling heavy, and they're starting to drop. I try to keep my eyes wide, but it's so hard. It feels like someone tied bricks to my lids, there's no keeping them open.

Before I could process anything else, blackness took over my eyes and I realized I can't even part my lids. My hands slide down Harry's arm uselessly, falling to my side just a second later. My energy is far beyond gone, and my heart is starting to slow more and more by the second.

Suddenly, a series of yells and screams fill the space around me, all different voices mixed together - all of which I know very well.


*+*+*


A groan slips past my lips as I lift my hand to my forehead. The sudden movements make my entire body ache, the pain close to unbearable. I drop my hand, forgetting any efforts to check up on myself. My eyes remain squinted as the bright lights in the room surround me. Just when I thought I was going to rot away in the silence, my ears pick up on the sound of voices - and what seems to be an ongoing conversation. I hadn't heard anything before this moment, there's no telling how long I've been out.

The last thing I remember is staring directly into Harry's eyes and silently pleading for him to let me go. His eyes were so dark and his grip was so tight. I do not think I will ever be able to forget the way they appeared. "He doesn't need to be around her, Sophia." Perrie's words are the first I actually understand, the muffled voices are gone and the reality of their conversation is actually being processed by my tired brain.

"Listen, I know what I'm doing okay? She's going to need him by her side no matter what, and he's not going to be able to breathe without being near her. Just let me do my job." Sophia's tone held a sass to it that I normally wouldn't hear come from her. I guess we all become irritated at times with people, especially when they interfere with what we are doing.

The door slams shut just a moment later, informing me of Perrie's depature from the room. She's the kind of person to get upset quickly, even over the smallest of things. "She's awake." My eyes shoot fully open as I hear that deep voice I adore so much fill the room. Gently, trying not to hurt myself, I shift my head on the pillow, my eyes searching for his presence.

Immediately, my gaze lands upon him as he sits in the corner, forearms resting on his drawn up knees. His long, chocolate curls are pulled away from his head, and his eyes are red as a result of what I assume is his recent crying in addition to a lack of sleep. But clearly I can not be sure of that due to my current situation. Sophia doesn't look towards my direction, instead she goes over to Harry and squats down, pushing her hair over her shoulders.

"She's going to need some adjusting, Harry. I'm sure she's.. confused.. and.. and frightened." Her voice is low and rather soft as she speaks to him, but thanks to the quietness of the room I am able to understand every word that she says. "I don't care, Sophia." Harry huffs, quick to let her know his thoughts, "She's my girlfriend.. I am supposed to be there for her, even when she doesn't want me to."

"Harry, please. She doesn't need the stress that you'll-" Sophia is cut off by him, no hesitation at all of course. He's the leader, why should he request permission to speak? Or at least, isn't that how he thinks? "J-just.. let me.. let me.. talk to her. I won't.. I won't hurt her." Harry stammers a few times, but he quickly gets over the small setback. "You've said that before, Harry. Then she ended up against the wall with your hand around her throat." Sophia sighs, her voice louder than before. I believe they both forgot that I am in the room. I'm easy to forget, apparently.

"Soph.." Harry's tone immediately dropped to where I could barely hear it, but I let my ears strain so that I can pick up what he's saying. "I don't know.. why I did that.. I.. I couldn't.. control myself.." A lump begins to form in my throat, could he be telling the honest truth? Did some horrid demon overtake his body and control his mind? It's very possible, my own demons have made the razor blade slide against my skin hundreds of times.. Sometimes they take over, and there's absolutely nothing we can do to prevent it.

Sophia takes a deep breath before replying to him, "Do.. you think it's.. Do you think you're getting close to your first-" Niall's voice bursts into the room out of nowhere, interrupting Sophia yet again. "We might have an issue!" He yells out, panic laced in his voice. "What is it?" Harry's voice jumps back to it's normal tone and I peek from the corner of my eye to watch him as he moves.

He stands and makes his way over to Niall, all seriousness on his face now. Sophia's head shifts towards them, but before her eyes could land on them, they met my accidental glance. The corner of her mouth turns up just slightly. A moment later, she starts her walk over to me. I swallow harshly, wanting nothing but to know what she was going to say to Harry before Niall busted in here with sudden news.

"I believe there's been an imprinting." Niall says while stepping out of the room, Harry following him and shutting the door after they leave. Sophia's hand gently touches against my arm, her smile warms me up as my eyes roam over her happy features. She's always so kind, I don't see how she keeps it up - especially while leaving in this hell hole.

"How are you feeling, dear?" Sophia asks with a curious lift of her brows, her eyes intensely stare at my neck as her fingers run over my skin. I wince a few times, there must be bruises littering my skin - it certainly doesn't shock me if there are some present. "F-fine. Wh-where's Ha-harry?" I try to talk quickly but I realize my throat is extremely dry and my words are croaky due to that. Sophia reaches over to the bedside table and grabs a bottle of water. She unscrews the cap and sticks a straw into the bottle. She leans down so that the straw is in my mouth and I don't have to struggle to lift my head or move my neck.

I take advantage of the moment and drink as much of the water as my body allows. After a few more gulps, I release the straw and Sophia notices immediately, placing the bottle back on the table moments afterwards. "Now.. don't speak too loud, love." She says softly as she grabs the edges of the think sheets covering my body, I don't like thick covers - Harry probably made sure I was comfortable. She pulls them up some, so that they cover my breasts. I want to thank her for shielding my body from the room's chilly breeze, but I don't want to risk damaging my throat.

"Harry is.. handling something right now. He's in the kitchen though, don't worry. He hasn't gone far." She gives me a sly smile before turning away. She's messing with something in a large first aid bag that's sitting on a table not far from where I'm lying. I assume the table was pushed in here since it has wheels and wasn't here anytime before I blacked out. I take the time to examine myself as much as I can.

Carefully, making sure not to hurt myself any more than I already am, I lift my right arm and let my gaze move down my limb. There's a nice sized bruise on the inside of my elbow as well as one covering a majority of my bicep. I swallow the nervous lump in my throat and gently sit that arm back down on the mattress. Next, I raise my left arm and allow my eyes to do the same to it. Instantly, I notice the bandage wrapped around my wrist and the top of my hand. My eyes widen at the sight, but I am too afraid to speak and confront Sophia about it. My throat hurts entirely too much, hopefully she will explain soon.

There are bruises in almost the exact same spots as the ones on my right arm, I expected to be covered in black and purple skin, all with yellowing edges of course. I lay my arm down, too scared to find out what else might be wrong with me. Did Harry do something while I was passed out? Did he continue to tighten his grip? More importantly, I want to know why he isn't here greeting me. I'm awake, he should be by my side - just like he said.

Sophia is holding a medical bag of liquid, which catches my attention. I let my eyes follow her, my head turning just slightly to the left of me. Unexpectedly, there's an IV stand right beside me with bags and a tube hanging from the top. My stare trails down the tube, it's hanging off my bed. But when my eyes lift back to my arm, I realize that there's an IV stuck in the top of my hand. I didn't notice that a few minutes ago, I suppose the bandaging caught me off guard. I lick my lips nervously as I look back to Sophia's concentrated face. Her eyebrows are furrowed and her eyes are narrowing as she looks at the new fluid bag.

She unconnects the tube from the almost empty bag and plugs it into the new bag. Her eyes flicker down to mine. Her full attention turns to me just as she situates the tube in the bag. "It's morphine." She informs me with a slight lift of her brows. My lips fall apart, but not too much. I believe my jaw is frozen now, as well as the rest of my body. What happened to me while I was blacked out? Did Harry do something so horrible to me that it results in me needing drugs to cope with the pain?

"Harry insisted.. after you're little outburst yesterday." Sophia continues on with the explanation, which I am grateful for since I didn't have to ask her. She has the sense to tell me, obviously. "I'm sure you don't remember it. We thought you had woken up.. but you.. went wild on Harry." Sophia tells me this information. She's right though, I have no clue what she's talking about. However, despite not remembering, I believe her. They wouldn't lie to me about that, especially since I'm on this drug at the moment. I have to admit, I can't really feel anything - only feels like I'm floating in the room. It's rather relaxing, though.

"W-what.. d-did.. I.. s-sa-ay?" I manage to choke out the words, but not without difficulty. Sophia sighs heavily as she sits down on the edge of the bed, careful not to bump my injured hand which I still don't know the back story of. She rests her hand on my forearm as she faces me, an apologetic expression finds its way to her face all of a sudden, and I don't hesitate to become worried.

"Harry was standing over you when you opened your eyes." She begins with a deep breath, God I hope I didn't do a horrible thing. By the way she's taking caution, I believe I done something terrible to Harry, whether physical or verbal. "Before he could speak.. you began screaming at him.. telling him that he was a.. a heartless monster.. and.. and that he should just.. go and.. kill himself because you.. you claimed to not love him at all." What Sophia says frightens me completely. How could I be so cold to him? I know what he done was wrong and hurtful, but he never deserves to be spoke to that way.

"He began to cry.. and just.. fall apart.. You kept on saying some pretty nasty things to him." Sophia quickly pauses to push some hair behind her ears. "Gemma and I were quick to tell him it was.. just an effect from your medications. We put some medicine into your system for your neck, so that it would heal quickly. We weren't sure if you had cracked bones or ribs. The side effects for humans are.. mood swings and sudden outbursts." The mention of the word human immediately leads me to assume that the medicine was designed for their kind, not for mine.

"He understood and pulled himself together. He stepped out and you became pretty content with the rest of us who were in there. We let you have your space and we stayed silent." I know their intentions were to heal me, but I don't know how I feel about them injected me with something that wasn't created for my species. I didn't have long to ponder it, Sophia's sentences became closer together. "When he returned to the room.. you lashed out again. Before I could stop you, you got out of the bed and pounced on him."

My eyes almost pop out of their designated spots. Did I really possess the strength and courage to attack Harry? Perhaps it was truly the medications, nothing else. No hidden feelings or thoughts, no definitely not those. I could never be so cruel to him and say those things. I don't believe those words pertain to him and who he is. I just couldn't ever harm him like that - no matter what he's done to me.

"You scratched his face pretty bad.. and you were hitting his chest and his arms. You aimed for his face, but he grabbed your arms and held them down. When that happened, you started kicking and throwing her forehead against him." My body must extremely lack the power to handle the medicine they gave me, that's the only logical thing I can think of to justify what I apparently done.

"Eventually, Harry and Zayn got you onto the bed. Harry had to literally sit on top of you to keep you still while I tried to put some heavy douses of melatonin into your system." Sophia takes a few deep breaths so that her lungs can catch up to her mouth and brain. "In that tough process, Harry's grip on your hand.. became really, really strong and we believe he.. he might've fractured a bone. The bruise immediately began to form, so that's where the bandage comes into play."

At first, I want to feel some sort of hatred for Harry for doing that to me, but then I realize that he didn't intend to. He was holding me down, so that she could get me to sleep and prevent any more lashing out. I am grateful for them, even if it means having a few bruises and possibly broken bones. At least I'm safe.

"We got you to sleep.. and Harry refused to leave your side. He sat by you all night.. until about three hours ago. He got up to go hunt. Ever since then, he was sitting in the corner waiting for you to wake up." Sophia ends her long explanation with a sigh, shrugging gently just a moment after. I muster up some inner strength and clear my throat, "Can you.. go get him.. for me?" I ask slowly, but thankfully my words didn't shatter due to the dryness of my throat.

"Sure thing, dear. I'll be right back." Sophia stands from the bed after giving me a soft smile. I watch her as she carries herself to the door, exiting the room just a second later. As I lay here stiff and silent, I try to focus on my hand - to see if there was any pain. But due to the medicine rushing through my veins, I can not feel anything. My lids fall, and almost immediately my mind begins to relive the situation that resulted in my being in this bed.

I feel like I'm suffocating, the thought of Harry's hand wrapped around my throat is haunting me horribly. The way he shoved Liam into the wall, I can feel the pain in my back - I can still hear the screams that left his angered mouth. Will I mentally be able to survive this?


//Harry//

"Louis, how did this happen?" Niall is the first of us to speak, grabbing everyone's attention. Louis lifts his head from his hands and looks our way. Niall and I just arrived downstairs, we didn't even waste time trying to sit down, we had already missed too much. "I.. I.. d-don't know." Louis' hands are shaking as he lowers them to his knees. I sigh gently, I figured something along these lines would happen - I just didn't think it would be so soon.

"I guess he never really looked directly in her eyes." Zayn insists from his spot on the couch, beside Louis. I lean against the wall, trying to find some sort of comfort. "She just.. asked me.. me to get.. her a cup.. from the cabinet.. and I .. I looked down.. and her eyes... I.. felt.. everything.. So.. so did she." Louis explains what happened and it sounds honestly true to me.

"Direct eye contact.. that's when it happens." I speak for the first time since I entered the room. Louis looks my way, confusion swept across his face. "When.. when you held.. Julianne.. she.. opened her eyes.. right? And.. and you.. imprinted.. right?" His eyebrows furrow as he tries to remember my situation. "Well.. I always held a connection with her, even when she was still in the womb. But yes, the full sensation happened when she opened her eyes and looked at me." I nod lightly, he's completely right. He made direct eye contact and then it happened. She's the one, clearly.

"I feel bad for Gem.. she's going to hate this." Zayn mumbles, shaking his head from left to right. "She'll get over it." Niall says. "That's harsh." Louis scoffs at him, but he's got a point. "She's gonna have to get over it. You can't undo an imprint." I back up Niall's words and I notice that it just hit Louis. He drops his head into his hands, soft sobs start to come from his now trembling body.

"Louis, I know you cared about her.. but it's time to move on. You've wanted this for so long.. now you've got it." Zayn says, patting him on the back a few times for encouragement. "I had it.. a long time ago. Don't forget that.. Please don't forget her. I know.. I know she's gone.. but.. but please don't." Louis looks around the room at each us, a mix of sadness and fear on his face. "I know you loved her, Louis. But you've got to understand.. Ruth needs you, if she didn't then you never would've imprinted. This is real. You didn't imprint before." I try my best to explain the seriousness of the situation to him. I know he can comprehend it, it's just he's having a hard time trying to accept it and move on from the past.

Him and Gemma have only had flings in the past, nothing serious - just the need for a release. Gemma and Louis have never had, nor will they ever have, a true connection. It just doesn't exist. Now when it comes to Louis actual past, before him and Gemma began their hook ups, the girl he had then - well, they held love for each other, but there was no imprint. She's gone now, and he has to let that go.

"Harry?" Sophia appears beside me, her finger tapping my shoulder lightly. I look over at her, immediately afraid that something is wrong with Julianne. I completely forgot she had woken up - this whole imprint thing has thrown me off balance. "What is it?" I ask, my eyebrows furrowing deeply as I turn to face her, ignoring Louis now. My girl is more important to me than his problems are.

"Julianne asked me to come get you." She tells me with a soft smile, it was hardly there. I glance over my shoulder, making sure their conversation had carried on and it has. I motion for her to go towards the kitchen and she does so, with me following behind her. Now that I have thought about it, I haven't seen Gemma in a few hours. I believe she took Sara and Ruth shopping and for icecream. I am not even sure if she's aware of what happened with Louis.

As for Liam, well, I don't really fucking care where he is. As long as he's far from me and my girlfriend - then I'm fine. I know Julianne said nothing occured between the two of them, but she doesn't understand, nor will she ever, why I am upset about it. I trust Liam to an extent, him being around Julianne while I'm not here is that extent. All trust is gone.

"Did you tell her?" I mumble to Sophia as we stop in the middle of the kitchen and she turns on her heel to face me once again. "Yes, I told her. She's.. kind of shocked that she done that. I explained the whole medicine situation and all that. She's fine.. but she wants you to talk to her, not me." Sophia informs me of this and I mentally thank her for taking that responsibility that was supposed to be mine. I guess I chicken out more than I like to admit.

Also, I know Julianne will actually listen to what Sophia says. If I were the one who told her she would only focus on my presence, not what I was telling her. And it's quite the same for me when it comes to her telling me things. If it had been the other way around, Sophia would have to speak to me about it, too.

"I'm going to go up there for a while. If anything happens down here let me know 'cause I'm going to block everyone else out." I tell her with a sigh, it's time to go see my princess. God, I hope she doesn't hate me for what I done to her. I am such a horrible person, but I hope she understands it was for protection only. I want her safe at all times, no matter who's around.

Just as I take the first step towards the stairs, Sophia grabs the bend of my arm. I look over at her, just to see tears swelling in her eyes. "Wh-where's.. L-Liam?" She asks me with a shaking lip. I gulp gently, Sophia and I have always been close. No matter how much I find myself hating Liam, I could never throw hate towards her. My mother always adored her, because she's got a pure heart. She doesn't deserve to suffer through this life, but there's a lot of things a lot of us don't deserve. It is what it is.

"I.. I don't know." I shake my head gently. I know I ought to help her when it comes to her mate, because God knows she helps with Julianne all the time. But I just don't know where he went. "I.. I can't.. h-hear him." She whispers softly, teardrops dripping down her cheeks. "He'll be back. Don't worry." I assure her with a slight smile. "Harry, pl-please.. if he's.. not.. back.. by tomorrow.. af-afternoon.. wi-will.. you.. you let me.. go.. go look for him?" She asks, voice shivering due to her frightened nerves.

"No." I deny her access to the woods - we have never allowed the girls to go in alone. They don't hunt as much as we do because we don't let them fight if it comes down to defending the land. That's our job. Sophia's starts to gasp for air, a fit of sobs coming to her. I highly distrust Liam at the moment, and it will last for a while I presume. But there's something about being in a pack that has never left my mind.

No matter what happens, no matter who's fighting - we protect each other. If I leave for the night, it's everyone's duty to not only watch our territory, but also look after Julianne. And it's the same way for anyone. Liam's gone, his mate is left defenseless without him. That is, until we get involved. It pains me to say it, but I know it's the right think for me to do. I owe it to not only Sophia, but to Liam.

"I will go."

Notes

//the A/N posted before this chapter will be removed in a few days, I just want everyone to view it before I take it down! Also I am going to try my absolute best to go through the entire story and fix errors. I often find myself reading the story all the time and I always notice new errors! I do try to fix them when I see them, but we're all human and we all make mistakes... //

Updates will continue, I promise! I really hope everyone remembers the chapter where Harry tells Julianne that something happened with Liam in the past.. of course it hasn't been mentioned yet.. but it will be very soon! Alsooo.. major things on the way, as well as a sequel! -- B x

Comments

@brianna.smith
I totally understand!!! Mine are older but dealing with what I am with Matthew is such a struggle..

Allie Miller Allie Miller
3/20/19

@Allie Miller
It’s a struggle lol xxxx

brianna.smith brianna.smith
3/20/19

@brianna.smith
Absolutely you and Tessa are my two favorite people ever. Tess doesn’t get on anymore she has a baby now. But I admire how you juggle everything with Faith Leah and the twins... you’re an amazing person. :) xx

Allie Miller Allie Miller
3/20/19

@Allie Miller
I've always loved & appreciated your support! xxxxx thank you for all the love honey!

brianna.smith brianna.smith
3/20/19

IDK how i missed this update but it's fantastic the time jump goes in smoothly. I am in love with this sotry too!! and i forgot to tell you congrats on the wins.. I knew when i saw your name on the ballots you'd win for sure!! you never fail to amaze me you're writing is sensational as always. i am so glad that i've gotten to know you more than just a fan but as a true friend the past 4 years. i love you B keep up your great work girl

Allie Miller Allie Miller
3/18/19