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Beating Heart

f o u r t e e n - oceans.

((**chapter 13 was reposted so please go check it out // more stuff added cause I forgot!!♥))

//Love taught me to lie.. and life taught me to die//


A gulp goes down my throat as I secure the towel tightly under my arms. Perrie hasn’t brought me any close yet, and I’m quite nervous to step out in the hallway and ask for some. I know she’s out there, I can hear her voice through the wooden door. She doesn’t seem happy by the sound of her tone, but she didn’t leave me and that’s all I care about.

I grab the edges of the counter top with my hands as my eyes roam to my reflection in the mirror. My hair is dripping and there are slightly dark circles forming under my eyes – nothing new to me though. My breathing is regulated now, I guess the warmth of the water helped me out.

My mother is probably so ashamed of me right now. I could have made it through the storm and at least found somewhere to camp out instead of in a damn tree. And I know she would have wanted me to escape this place, or at least try – just for the fun of it. Adventure was surely my mother’s middle name – it’s all she ever did. Explore and find new things along the way. I guess that’s where I get my curiosity and love for the wilderness. No, I don’t guess.. I know that.

Just as I was about to continue to reminisce on good memories, the sound of knocking fills the cold silence. I take in a deep breath and open my mouth to reply. But before I could make a sound, Perrie’s joyful voice cut in. “Julianne? Are you done, honey? I have your clothes.” Perrie calls out, I can basically hear the smile on her voice.

“Um..” I clear my throat, trying to make myself sound refreshed, even though I’m not entirely well on the inside. “Yeah.” I complete my short response and wait quietly for her to come in. The door handle turns and seconds later she pops her head in. She smiles as she sees that I’m done with the shower and bath. “Sorry about that. I got caught up in a conversation with Gemma.” Perrie sighs out as she shuts the door behind her and locks it. I bite the inside of my cheek, not knowing what to expect anymore.

“Here you go. It’s nothing much, just some pajamas.” She says as she passes me the folded pieces of clothing. I smile gently as I take them from her and sit them on the counter. “Thank you.” I mumble lightly as she walks past me. “No problem, love. You go ahead and get dressed while I clean up.” Perrie insists as she reaches the bath rub and grabs the wash cloth off the side. I watch her in the mirror as she tosses it into a hamper. She goes into the closet with the supplies in it, which I know is a good size, not small at all.

Right when I feel nervous again, I remind myself it’s just Perrie in here, and she is a girl – so things aren’t too awkward. I drop the towel and quickly grab the shirt off the top of the pile. I throw it over my head and slide my arms in it just as fast as I took it. It’s a soft orange color and has a matching pair of shorts. I slide the plain pink underwear up my legs first and let the waistband go as it gets to it’s appropriate spot. Finally the shorts are up my legs and I secure them by making a bow with the ribbon.

Just as I finished, Perrie walks out of the closet and comes over to me with a basket in her hand. “I wanted to help you out, I know you’re probably really tired or whatever.” She says with a laugh as she grabs a hairbrush and stands behind me. She’s a few inches taller than me, but not by many. Perrie’s fingers run through my wet hair and she gives me a smile in the mirror as she begins to glide the brush through my hair.

“I always wanted a sister.” She mumbles to herself with a soft sigh. I roll my lips in, what do I say to that? Better yet, do I say anything to that or just keep quiet? “Especially one a few years younger than me.. so I could teach her everything.” She adds in with just a soft smile, not much though. “And to sing to.. I love to sing.” Perrie says as she gives herself an eye roll.

“Do you sing well?” I ask with a gentle smile as her eyes catch mine in the mirror. “I mean.. I assume I do.” She answers with a laugh in her voice, “and my boyfriend enjoys it.” She gives me a light wink and I can only smile at her. She’s so nice and I honestly can’t believe she’s even real. How can one person be so kind and gentle?

“Still a little bit of your ghost your witness. Still a little bit of your face I haven't kissed..” She began to sing – it sounds like a multi-million dollar voice. “You step a little closer each day.. That I can't say what's going on.” Perrie stops for a moment and gives me a light smile in the mirror. “Stones taught me to fly..” She continues, slowly but perfectly. “Love taught me to lie.. And life taught me to die.”

Perrie’s eyes drop to the floor and her hands freeze in my hair. She takes in a deep breathe before letting the words flow from her mouth. “So it's not hard to fall.. When you float like a cannonball.” Perrie sighs deeply as she sits the brush on the counter and comes to mirror beside me. “Your voice is beautiful.” I say softly, turning my head to look at her instead of at her reflection.

“Thanks, love.” She gives me a half smile before letting out another sigh. “That’s my favorite song.. because it’s so true.” Perrie informs me, her voice cracking lightly. This has to be a hard topic for her to speak about, or else she’d be bubbly and happy right now. “Well.. I need to get you back to your room.” She sighs out as she grabs my hand and guides me to the door. She unlocks it and opens it – before I realized, we were in the dark hallway. I gulp gently, trying not to stare down the dark side. I glance towards the kitchen and right when I do, I see someone I’ve never seen before.

“Who’s that?” I ask in a mumble as Perrie opens the door to my so called bedroom. “Hold on, go on in though.” She says and gestures me to go inside. I gladly do, not comfortable being in the creepy hallway. I sit on the bed and exhale deeply a few times, trying to calm my jumpy nerves. About thirty or so seconds later, Perrie returns to the door way and pulls someone in with her. I gulp gently as I see the mysterious guy standing there – dark hair, olive skin, covered in tattoos, a cigarette in his hand and smoke leaving his mouth.

“I told I didn’t wanna do this.” He murmurs, a lot louder than he thought I’m sure. “Oh hush, babe. She’s such a sweetheart.” Perrie laughs as she shuts the door. The guy leans against the wall and his eyes dart over to me, keeping a heavy stare on me.

“This is my boyfriend, Zayn. Such a sunshine, hm?” Perrie says with a slight laugh as she comes over to me. She stands in front of me, but my eyes stay glued to the floor. “Tell her hello, Zayn.” Perrie groans in annoyance as she stomps her foot lightly. “’ello.” He states simply, his deep accent similar to Louis’. I look over at him, just to find his gaze still locked on me, and I present a soft smile to him. He gives me one back before leaning off the wall and putting the end of the cigarette in his mouth. He begins to step over towards Perrie as she continues to talk.

“You probably won’t see him much. He’s like a vampire, always out at night.” Perrie says as she looks over at him. I notice the wink she gives me and the chuckle he returns. “Not quite a vampire, love.” Zayn replies, glancing down at me for a second or two before his eyes go back to Perrie’s. I don’t see how they’re in love – she’s so bright and bold, and he’s just quiet and dark. But, as they say, opposites attract.

“I heard they haven’t even fed you yet, Julianne. Shame on you, Perrie.” Zayn says with a sly smirk. “Niall’s fed her. And besides, I was just about to go get her some food anyways. She doesn’t each much, Z.” Perrie rolls her eyes and punches his shoulder lightly. It must be really nice to have someone to love. “You stay here while I go and get her a few things.” Perrie gladly insists as she skips towards the door. “But-” Zayn’s retort was cut off by the slam of the door. He lets out a huff and sits down on the floor, propping one arm on his knee while the other held the cigarette to his mouth.

“She’ll take forever, might as well have a seat.” He says with a smile as he looks up at me. His hair is puffed up and it’s shade is really dark, perhaps it’s dye? I don’t know for sure though, I can’t really tell. His eyes are brown with a hit of gold in them, very pretty actually. His teeth are pearly white and his lips are thin. “Let me apologize, even though I have nothing to do with this, I’m sorry we gotta keep you trapped in here.” Zayn tells me with a sigh as he looks around the room.

“It’s okay.” I mumble, not finding a lot of energy in my body at the moment. “It’s goin’ to get better.. give it some time.” He assures me with a kinder smile this time. I nod back to him as I play with my fingers in my lap. The cool air in the room is hitting the damp shirt, all thanks to my hair, and it sends shivers through my body. “As the days go on.. you’ll get more freedom.” He adds in with a shrug of a shoulder.

“Can I.. ask.. what’s all here.. in this house?” I say in a gentle voice. His eyes meet mine again, probably shocked that I asked him something. He begins with a deep exhale. “Well.. besides the basic rooms.. we have a garden out back.. it’s not much, but enough to bring some color to this hell hole. And really we’re just surrounded by trees.. Nothing much more than that. I mean, don’t get me wrong, the forest is quite wondrous.. especially at night.” Zayn mumbles the last part mainly to himself as his head dropped, a smirk on his face.

I gulp gently – why do these people have a fascination with the dark?

“Why the.. boarded window?” I ask, looking over my shoulder at the wood covered window. Zayn licks his lips as his eyes reconnect with mine. “Darkness cannot drive out darkness.. only light can do that.” He mumbles to me, clearing his throat lightly. “But.. why.. darkness? Why is.. everything.. so.. dark?” I mutter out, not sure why I’m so curious – no that’s a lie. I know exactly what I’m so damn concerned. Those noises above me are the reason for me mentally flipping out about this damn place. I know I’m not the happiest person in the world, but aren’t they sick of the dark. Dark. Dark. Dark. That’s all there is here – pure darkness.

“It’s a cover up for things, love. Nightmares.. demons.. memories.” Zayn pauses and takes a puff of his cigarette. The smoke soon leaves his parted lips and fills the air. “I’ll tell you a short story. It goes like this.” Zayn takes a breathe in before carrying on. “I saw also that there was an ocean of darkness and death, but an infinite ocean of light and love, which flowed over the ocean of darkness.” His voice is rugged and deep, and just then he really showed meaning when he spoke those words.

“It’s my favorite quote.. because it shows exactly what I went through.” He admits to me with a gentle curve of the corner of his mouth. “I used to be lost.. turned to crime and alcohol.. years ago. That is my dark ocean, even though it’s in the past it’s under the light and the love.” He smiles gently as he glances over at the door. Not even a second later it opens and reveals Perrie to the both of us. “That’s my infinite ocean of light and love.” He glances at me with a smile and I completely understand his point.

He hurries to his feet and puts the cigarette in his mouth. I watch Zayn walk over to Perrie and take a few bags from her to ease the weight she has to carry. Her cheeks fluster up as he gives her a smile – they’re really good together.

“This is just some stuff Niall picked up at the store. We all figured you deserve a little stash since you.. you can’t really come out yet.” Perrie says as she opens the closet with her free hand and sits at least four plastic bags full of what appears to be food and drinks in the closet floor. Zayn soon follows and repeats her actions.

“You can eat whenever you desire.” She adds in with a sigh as she puts her hands on her hips and smiles at me. She’s honestly the brightest person in the entire world. “So what did we talk about?” Perrie asks with a grin as her eyes switch back and forth from me to Zayn.

“Just.. talked.” Zayn says as he leans to her and presses his lips against her temple. “I’ll see you later on. I’ll be back before midnight.” He tells Perrie before pecking her lips softly. I look down to my lap, not wanting to invade their moment together.

Perrie replies with something I couldn’t make out, but I’m sure she didn’t really intend for me to do that. “I have some things to do, so you can get some sleep or eat or whatever you need. We’re trying to convince Niall to get you a few more entertaining things but.. he’s such a butt.” She smiles lightly before shutting the door and leaving me alone in this dusty room.

I furrow my eyebrows as I let my body fall back on the mattress, my head hitting the pillow. My eyes stare up at the ceiling fan. Zayn has more passion than I first thought when I saw him. Don’t judge a book by it’s cover, especially when you haven’t read it yet.

So there’s an infinite sea of light and love, hm? I wish I could find mine, at least walk on the sand at the shore.


//finally got this up for you guys, sorry for any spell errors.. anyways, hope you like the new characters? Are you guys ready for more new people or is it going too fast? FEEDBACK ON THAT please!! Updates coming soon! ♥♥

((also i put Zayn in this chap to really give some hints here and there.. ♥xx))


Oh my god, the new chapters are amazing! Thank you for updating :)

Harry02 Harry02

Awesome updates my love :) Can't wait to see what's to come. Keep up the great work girl

Allie Miller Allie Miller

Great new chapters! Can't wait to find out what's going to happen next :)

Harry02 Harry02

I totally understand!!! Mine are older but dealing with what I am with Matthew is such a struggle..

Allie Miller Allie Miller

@Allie Miller
It’s a struggle lol xxxx

brianna.smith brianna.smith