//Harry//

It has been four days since I last saw my little angel – and when I did see her it was only for half a minute. As the days drag on, things get worse and worse in my life. I’ve called Emmy’s number nearly a hundred times over the past few days, but I usually just give up because I always remember she won’t ever answer a phone call from me, only text messages (and she rarely does that).

Niall won’t reply to me either, nor will Carly. It’s like they couldn’t care less about me or my feelings at all, but honestly I don’t blame them one bit. The whiskey tastes good, I’ll admit, but all it does is ease the pain for a little while. When I wake up I’m just hungover and aching again – and yet I still drink the alcohol.

It’s a habit of mine nowadays, it’s so hard to put down the fifth – I used to prefer to pick up the bottom and fix my little girl a bottle then sing her sleep, or tell her stories and fairytales. I wish I could go back to the day. We could have stayed in the hotel, we could have just went to bed like Emmy wanted to. I could be sitting high on my throne with my queen, my princess, and either our prince or another beautiful princess – it kills me slowly everyday just knowing that I’m the reason our baby died. It’s my fault that I drink, it’s all my damn fault.

Every. Single. God. Damn. Thing – it’s all my fucking fault. But every time I go to apologize..no one wants to listen. They’d rather suffer with me than let me say a few words every now and then. I hate to say this, but I could live without Emmy – but Katie, hell no. I hate going a few days without seeing her – if Emmy took away my privileges.. I might just decide to drown myself in whiskey.

No one will miss me when I’m gone anyways, so why have I waited so damn long?

I let out a sigh, I could never kill myself – whether it be by bullet, overdose, a blade slitting my neck, or a rope around my neck. I would never leave my princess like that. Even if she ever hated me, I still wouldn’t dare leave this earth. She’s all I’m living for now, she’s all I have. She’s the only person that loves me – and as the days carry on.. I bet she’s loving me less and less.

Yet I don’t blame her – as I tell her all the time, she’s a big girl now and she can surely understand more than she lets on. Katherine is so beautiful, she looks so much like Emmy, but yet I see myself in her – my youthful, fun, and cheeky self, not this piece of shit I am now.

She brightens my day every time I see that gorgeous smile, those big blue eyes, and her happiness. Things are so much simpler when it’s just more and her – we watch movies, eat junk food, stay up late.. basically everything Emmy doesn’t approve of.

But I’m sure everyone has that one strict parent, and the other one that likes to cut loose and have fun. Katie’s my angel, and she’s growing up on me – I have to spend as much time as I can with her. The last thing I want to miss is her childhood.

* * *

A nervous breath leaves my mouth, I’m having second thoughts about showing up here – what if they don’t want me here at all? But what if they do – I guess the positive what if is the only thing keeping me in his hallway. I raise my hand and knock my knuckles against the door a few times. A gulp slides down my throat, please God give me some good for once. It’s all I ask. I know I’m not the best man in the world, but I try to be the best father. All I want is my daughter.

After a few more seconds, I hear the rattle of a chain and the click of a lock. I release a deep exhale as the door begins to open slowly, there’s no telling what will happen next. Just remember, God, I didn’t come to start any drama, I only want to see my baby girl. That’s all, I swear.

I’m met with the blue eyes belonging to what seems to be an old friend. I lift the corner of my mouth, there’s nothing else to do really. “What are you doing here?” Niall spats, his eyebrows tightly furrowed. “I came to see Katie.” I mumble out, my throat a tad dry out of pure nervousness.

“Niall?” I heard a familiar voice say, it’s been a few weeks since I last heard it. He glances over his shoulder but his cold eyes stare into mine again. “Who’s at the.. door.” Carly appears, her body freezing as she notices my presence. Her lips part, almost as if she was shocked to see me here – I’m pretty surprised I’m here too, though.

“She doesn’t want to see you.” Niall claims with a huff, crossing his arms on his chest. “Yes she does.. please, just let me see her for a few minutes.” I ask in a soft tone, I don’t want anyone else to hear me. “You broke her little heart, Harry. She cried herself to sleep the other night.. she’s been having nightmares, too.” Carly chimes in, her words hit me hard.

“My angel cried..?” I question in a mutter, not wanting to believe her claims. “She’s been crying.. for four fucking days straight, Harry.” Niall informs me of this hurtful truth. “Let me speak to her.. just for a little bit. I won’t even come in, please-” Carly cuts me off as she raises her hand, a signal for me to stop. “Emmy won’t allow it.” Carly sighs, her shoulders slouching.

“Then let me talk to Emmy.” It’s not a good idea, mainly because she fucking hates me, but partly because we haven’t even seen each other in person since she left.. years ago. Niall and Carly have been doing the picking up and dropping off, transporting Katie here and there all because her mother and I can’t get along.. Whatever happened?

“She’s not here right now, and it’ll be a few hours before she gets back.” Carly states with a sly smile. My eyes look back at Niall. He gives me a smirk. I raise my eyebrows a tad, not really sure why he did that. “Where.. where is she?” I curiously ask. “On a date.” Niall simply says, the smirk returning to her face.

My heart drops to my chest – no. I stumble back a little, the information I was just told has literally drug me off the tracks and knocked the air out of my lungs. I gasp for a breath as my body hits the wall behind me. I cover my heart with my hand, God no.

“I’m sorry, Harry.” Carly’s voice says. I lift my head just enough so I could see her. Niall was gone, and she was about to shut the door in my face. “You know I love you, and you’re a friend of mine.. but when it comes to Katie.. I’m on Emmy’s side.” Carly breaks the news with a sigh – how come my own damn friends have betrayed me? They never even let me explain..

“And Harry..” Carly starts with a loud gulp. My eyes meet hers and I can tell she’s not okay, like something’s hurting her in the inside – I know Carly, and I know that face isn’t good. She licks her licks before speaking again, “Emmy’s moved on. And.. well, you need to do the same.”

“You don’t understand!” I yell out suddenly. Carly jumps back a little past the door frame, my loud burst screaming her I’m sure. “I do understand, Harry.” She says, her voice a tad stern. “We all fucking understand!” She screams back at me. I feel a stabbing pain in my chest, certainly not the first one nor the last. I know what’s coming.. the lecture, the bitching, the truth.

“All your damn daughter talks about is going to see you! Every fucking day she begs me take her to your house, but we don’t because you’re fucking insane, Harry!” Carly’s voice erupts in the hallway as she comes just a few inches from me. I stare down in her anger filled, hatred glazed eyes. “You’d rather get drunk than pick up your daughter! You’re a fucking horrible father to that little girl in there!” Carly claims, her tone never changing.

“I fucking love her! And she loves me!” I feel a tear sting the corner of my eye, here it comes. “If you loved her then you wouldn’t have let it come this far.” Carly lowers her voice, but her expression never changes. “This isn’t all my fault! Emmy locked me out! She fucking left me! I didn’t do a damn thing!” I shout out, my heart racing and my mind overblown.

“Emmy left you because she couldn’t take it. She wasn’t happy, Harry. She had never been happy with that life you were forcing her to live. She loves you so much, but she can’t live like that. Katie deserves better than this, I know trust me.. I’ve been through it all in the past. You’re lucky Emmy is letting you in Katie’s life.” Carly reaches out and grabs my hand, squeezing it tight.

The tears begin to drip from my eyes, creaming streams down my face. “I.. I just want.. want them.. back.” I stutter out, my eyes blurry from the tears. Carly pulls me to her, wrapping her arms around my neck. I close my eyes as I put my chin on her shoulder. All I want to do is just fucking cry.

“I know honey, I know.” She starts to rub circles into my back, her other hand on the back of my neck. I just need someone to talk to. “What’s wrong with me?” I ask in a gentle whisper. “You’re heartbroken, that’s all babe. I completely understand.” Carly’s voice is soft an soothing, she reminds me of my mother – she knows all the right things to say, and all the things to put some damn sense into my head for once.

“What can I do.. to get her back?” I question, my voice still low as I hold her tight, no one cares about me right now so I’m only attempting to soak in as much friendly love as I can. “Change. Stop drinking. Stop being late. Be a good father, be a good man.”

All I want is my daughter, and the love of my life.

Notes

// got a H pov in (speaking of H, honestly can't wait til april 7th ♥♥♥) anyways.. UPDATES SOON!! no delays for this story! Hopefully! xx Of course I try to give you guys some notice on when I'll be gone for a few days, so here is a list for you (days I'm positive i won't be able to update on)::


**Feedback PLEASE, it's vital to my confidence! ♥ love you all so much xx