I Can Change Your Life

I wished that my fight with Louis could have changed things, but instead of seeing him around more, he was around much less. Instead of bringing the boys to his house, they would go to someone else’s house. Not seeing Louis also meant not seeing Niall and Liam. And not seeing all three of them was like I had absolutely no friends.

Except for Harry, of course. He was still there. I wanted to tell him about everything with Josh so bad, but I was just trying to forget about him and move on. Louis used to always tell me that there’s where I was going wrong. I should try to work through what had happened between us – get it off my chest, let it all out. Not hold it back and try to push it away. But I knew that if I were to try and talk about, I’d just embarrass myself again and cry.

I hadn’t gotten any text messages from any blocked numbers since I changed my number, and for the first time in what felt like years, things at school were starting to calm down. Kelly and Amber were old news – we just completely acted like we didn’t even know each other. I liked it that way, because that meant that Stasia and Dale also left Harry alone. Every now and then Dale would give Harry a glare, but Stasia would distract him and make him stop.

Two weeks after my fight with Louis, Harry pulled up to pick me up from school just like he did every day. I got into the car and when I turned to look at Harry, he was still in his pajamas. He had a rag stuffed into his left nostril and his hair was a greasy mess.

“Oh no!” I said as I reached up to touch his forehead. He definitely had a fever.

“Last night before bed it hit me. I thought I’d try to sleep it off, but it just got worse.”

“Okay, let’s go back to your house. I’ll make you some tea.”

Harry shook his head. “No, you have to go to school. There’s a stats test coming up. You have to pay attention to the lesson today so you can teach it to me.”

“What? I’m not going to school. I’ll be all alone.” I began to twiddle my thumbs in my lap. I couldn’t even fathom the thought of walking to class alone. Or sitting alone at lunch. Or being alone in stats. All of my previous years at school I was never alone. I always had someone – Josh, Amber, Kelly, Louis, Niall, Liam. Someone was always there for me.

“It’s just one day. I’ll be there to pick you up after school and then you can make me some tea.”

I couldn’t be selfish. I could hear the congestion in Harry’s voice. And he was right, I couldn’t miss school. I sighed. “Okay, fine. But you better text me all day,” I said with a smile.

“I will, don’t worry.”

It felt weird waving goodbye to Harry instead of having him walking up to the school with me. As I walked up to the front doors, everybody stared at me. I could have sworn they were talking about me, too. But then again, I was probably just paranoid because Harry wasn’t there.

Harry texted me during third period with a sad face emoji. I sent him the same thing back.

My mom made me take a shot of honey and lemon. It hurt my throat.

That’s good! That helps.

I sighed when it took him a while to reply. I just wanted it to be lunch already so I could sneak somewhere and try to call him to pass the time.

Sorry I’m so sucky at texting. I’m sleepy.

Aw, that’s okay. Go to sleep. I’m going to call you during lunch though!

Harry replied saying that he’d be expecting my call with a little heart. My day immediately brightened. Things with him were pretty normal. We hadn’t talked about what we were, or what we wanted to be, and we hadn’t fooled around since that night. I was kind of sad that things had toned down, but I guess it was partially my fault since I didn’t want to jump into anything.

Lunch came way too slowly. When the bell rang I was nearly half asleep. I was the last one to exit the classroom. I took my time walking to the table that Harry and I usually sat at. I decided that I would eat my lunch there to give him some more time to sleep. Then I would hide out somewhere and call him.

As I walked through the lunch tables, the stares become more and more noticeable. People were snickering as I walked past, and I knew that it couldn’t just be my paranoia, it was too obvious. But I didn’t understand what they could be laughing at. Or why they would be staring at me. Until I approached my lunch table.

Condoms were tied between the openings on the lunch table. Since the table wasn’t just a solid sheet, instead it was a criss-crossed, fence-like pattern, there were a lot of openings. Some of the condoms had, what I was hoping to be, lotion inside of them to make the point stronger. There was a piece of paper that was folded in half sitting in the center of the table. I picked it up to see a picture of me and Josh that I had no idea existed, and then a small typed note under it.

Use protection. Nobody would want a whore like you to reproduce. Last time was a close enough call.

I shoved the paper into my purse and turned to walk away. Before I could turn, Kelly and Amber were right in front of me. They had small smiles on their faces.

“Oh no, what happened?” Kelly asked as she looked over at the table.

“Wow, so disgusting,” Amber commented.

“Fuck off,” I said.

“Relax,” Kelly said. “We’ve been nothing but your friends.”

“No, you’ve been nothing but worthless stuck-ups.” My voice was rising, and I was just wanting to get out of their before I could break down. I could feel the tension from behind my eyes and the sting in every blink.

“Aw, well you’ve been nothing but the whore who fucked my brother and his friends,” Kelly smiled and nodded her head as she spoke. “You know, he tells me every day how thankful he is that you had to go and fuck things up. Because he was that close to being trapped by you.”

I wanted to hit her. It took every fiber of my being to keep my arms planted firmly by my sides. “Don’t say shit about things you know nothing about. It’ll come back to get you.” I stopped for a minute before letting the word slip from my mouth. “Cunt.”

I turned around and walked straight toward my stats class. The bell rang as I was on my way to the classroom. I decided to stop in the bathroom first to wash my face off to try and calm me down. As soon as I stepped into the bathroom, the two girls that were in there left. I hovered over the sink before gently dabbing my cheeks with cool water. I looked in the mirror to make sure I looked normal. My cheeks were slightly pink from the anger and embarrassment, but beside that I looked okay.

I felt my phone vibrate from my pocket. I pulled it out to see that Harry had tried calling me twice and I had three text messages from him.

I’m awake now. I feel tons better from some medicine I took.

I was thinking that when I pick you up we can come back to my house and smoke weed and cuddle and watch movies ;)

Why haven’t you called me yet? You okay?

I didn’t reply, instead I decided to just go straight to class and wait until I saw him after school. I still couldn’t decide if I was going to tell him about what happened or not. I didn’t want him to worry about me. I hated all of this attention that I was getting because of Josh, and I wanted to prevent as much of it as I could.

When I walked into class everybody was already in their seats. I was the last one to walk in, and as I did I got the stares again. I walked straight to my seat and sat down. It was going to be hard to go back to this – last year it was like this, too. And I finally thought I had escaped it. But of course not. My past would always be there to haunt me.

Harry was there after school, just like he said he would be. He was fully dressed, his hair was clean, and he seemed to have a lot of the color back in his face. He was leaning up against his car with a cigarette pressed between his lips. He was wearing black skinny jeans with his usual button-up shirt. He had a snapback on backwards and a sweater on. As he pulled the cigarette away from his lips to release the smoke, I got the urge to kiss him. He placed the cigarette back up to his lips and let it rest there. I wanted so badly to be that cigarette.

I walked right up to him, pulled the cigarette from his mouth and threw it to the floor. Just as he was about to ask what was going on, I pulled his head down and crashed his lips to mine. Harry’s hands rested on my hips as he kissed me back.

Our lips began to move together. The world around me seemed to just disappear. Harry was the one who pulled away first. I kept my eyes closed for a moment after. He placed one last kiss on my lips before I opened my eyes.

“Someone missed me,” he laughed a bit.

“Something like that.” I smiled and walked over to the passenger’s seat. As we drove away, I felt like everything was okay. And that nothing had happened today. And I wanted to try and keep it that way for as long as I could.

I held Harry’s hand as we drove down the street. He lightly rubbed his thumb over my knuckles. As soon as we got to his house we went upstairs.

“Where is everybody?” I asked.

“Louis's at school, his mom and dad are at his cousin’s house.”

I nodded and tried to shake the thoughts from my head. I thought back to the night where I slept in Harry’s bed. I couldn’t shake the words that he had said to me the morning after it had happened : I don’t want you to have to hold back as you scream my name.

“When will they be back?” I asked. I looked to see that he was putting some clothes away over by his closet. I slipped off my shoes and sat down at the edge of the bed.

“Probably not for a few more hours,” he replied. “Why?” He turned to look at me.

I unbuttoned the top button on my shirt and bit my lip. Harry immediately dropped the shirt he was holding and walked over to me. He pressed his lips to mine and collapsed on top of me so we were both laying back on the bed. I continued to remove the buttons on my shirt as our tongues collided. I wiggled out of my shirt and began to pull on Harry’s. I just wanted him. I wanted him to help me forget.

I got his sweater and shirt off and unbuttoned his pants. He shoved his leg in between mine to spread them open. I dug my nails into his shoulders and he kissed the back of my neck, just beside my ear lobe. He must have remembered how bad it drove me crazy from last time.

He pulled down my bra straps and pulled the cups down. My bra was still hooked, but sitting over my stomach. He continued his kissing all down my body. I didn’t want any foreplay though. I just wanted him.

He unbuttoned my jeans and I couldn’t have gotten them off any quicker. The tension in the room was too much to handle. It had been rising and rising for the last two weeks. My skin began to burn and I could feel his heat adding to it.

He began to massage my thighs and I let out a slight groan as he placed kisses where his hands touched. I reached down and tugged on his jeans. “Take these off,” I said through gritted teeth.

He smirked and sat up so he was straddling me. I helped him pull his jeans down, taking his briefs down with them. I began to pull down my panties but Harry stopped me.

“Tell me you want this,” he said. His eyes were burning. I stared back at him the same intensity. I couldn’t stand the feeling anymore.

“Shut up and fuck me,” I growled.

He groaned and pulled my underwear down. He paused for a moment to reach over to his nightstand and pull a condom out from the very back of the drawer. He ripped it open and put it on before leaning down to kiss me again. He pulled my hips up and positioned himself between my legs. He held onto my hips before slowly pushing himself into me.

I bit my lip to hold back my moans as he pushed all the way in. He stayed still for a moment as we got familiar with the feeling. He pulled out slowly and pushed in one more time at the same pace.

“Don’t hold back,” I said as I arched my back a bit.

He smirked and began to move faster. He didn’t hold back, that’s for sure. He held onto my hips to guide my body to meet his thrusts. I was trying so hard to keep myself quiet, and when Harry noticed this he went even harder to try and force it out of me.

I had to remind myself that nobody was home, and that it was okay to let myself go. So I did. I screamed out his name and moaned uncontrollably. It had been so long since I had sex, I almost forgot about how amazing it was. And with Harry, it was a whole new experience. I’d never felt so much desire in the bedroom. I’d never felt so sexy and appreciated.

He pulled out of me and sat up so he was leaning up against the wall. He pulled me into his lap and I slowly lowered myself onto him. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me up against his chest. He finally unclasped my bra so it was nothing but skin on skin. He began to thrust into me. The angle we were at forced him in deeper than before. My arms were pushed up against his chest and he pulled me in tighter to him as he continued to move. I began to kiss and suck on the crook of his neck in between my moans.

My body tightened and then released very quickly, leaving me in a fit of moans. Harry continued to pound into me, leaving me shuddering the whole time. He bit onto my shoulder as he continued to move. He laid us down so that I was sitting on top of him. I was surprised at how long he was able to last.

He held my hips up and picked up his pace. I could feel his thrusts becoming more sporadic and rough.

“Fuck,” he moaned out as he started to get closer. “Gianna.” He moaned out my name in the accent he did so flawlessly and I felt like I was going to melt.

“Fuck, you’re so good,” he said through pursed lips. He lifted one of his hands up to rub my clit as he slammed harder and harder.

I felt my body rising again, and I couldn’t stop the words from flying from my mouth as I climaxed for the second time. I screamed out his name, I told him to go harder, I don’t know what else I said, but I couldn’t stop. I have never felt a high better than this feeling of euphoria.

Harry finally reached his own climax, calling out a slew of curse words. He kissed my lips before stopping his thrusts. He pulled me off of him and laid me down on the bed while he got up to dispose of the condom. He crawled over to me on the bed and lay down on top of me. I smiled and stared at his face. I gently traced over his features with my index finger. He kissed my collar bone very gently.

“That was amazing,” I finally said. “I came not once, but twice. That’s impressive.”

“You’re impressive,” he said. “That was the best sex I’ve ever had, and I don’t think it can much better than that.” He placed a kiss on my chin and continued to hold onto me.

“We should probably get dressed just in case somebody comes home,” I said as I wrapped his hair around my fingers.

He groaned. “I don’t want to. I just want to lay here. I like your skin,” he said as he rubbed his hand up and down my side. I kissed his forehead before he started to get up.

Once we were dressed, we walked down the hallway and headed into the kitchen to get something to eat. Harry opened the fridge to look for something to cook as I started a pot of tea.

“You know, I think I’ve found the cure to the common cold,” Harry laughed as he came up behind me a gave me a kiss in the crook of my neck before slapping my ass. I let out a little yelp and laugh at the same time.

“Yeah, and what might that be?”

Harry jumped away from me and I nearly dropped the kettle I was holding. We turned around to see Niall walking up to the counter. He had a knowing look on his face and I swear to God my breathing stopped for a good three minutes while we all just sat there.

“Niall,” Harry finally said. “How long have you been here?”

Niall laughed a little bit. “Funny story, actually. I called Louis to see if he was home yet because we were supposed to hang out, right? He told me to come here and just wait for him. He said that you would let me because you were home sick today. I rang the doorbell and knocked a few times, but you didn’t answer. I checked to see if your car was in the driveway, and it was, so I decided to let myself in with the spare key under the rock by the door. So I walk in and I hear the craziest thing. I hear a girl moaning from your room. And I’m like ‘dang, Harry’s gettin’ it in, good for him.’ And then I hear you, Harry, calling out Gianna’s name.”

Harry and I just stood still. Not sure of what to say. Not sure of what any of this meant. I was afraid of Louis finding out because he would definitely beat the shit out of Harry. And things would just be weird.

“So my question is,” Niall said, “does Louis know that you’re fucking Gianna, Harry?”

“It’s not like that,” Harry said.

“So you guys are dating, then?”

I huffed and buried my face into my hands. “No,” I said. “We’re not dating.”

“Oh, so then you are just fucking.”

Harry ran his fingers through his hair and looked over to me. I continued to keep my eyes on the counter. Was it just fucking? I didn’t even know what it was.

“Yeah, then I guess we are,” Harry sighed.

Niall shook his head. He seemed happy, but also slightly disappointed in us. “Louis won’t be happy.”

“Louis doesn’t need to know,” I said quickly. “And nobody here is going to tell him.”

Harry and I each looked to Niall.

“Okay, fine. But if you guys keep this up, he’s going to find out sooner or later. You’re going to have to tell him,” Niall said. “Gianna, you can’t avoid Louis for much longer. He misses you, and I know you miss him, too.”

As if on cue, the front door opened and Louis came through. He dropped his backpack by the couch and kicked off his shoes before walking into the kitchen.

“Oh, hey guys,” he said, looking up. “Hey, Gianna.”

I gave him a weak smile before setting the tea kettle down on the counter.

“Harry, I think I’m ready to go home now,” I said quietly. Harry nodded and followed me into his bedroom to get my purse and shoes. As we walked out of the room, I turned to look at Niall. His eyes followed us all the way down the hallway.

We left the house quickly and drove most of the way back to my house in silence. The radio was off. The only sound to break the silence was the blinker.

I went to get out of the car but accidentally knocked my purse onto the ground as I tried to move my legs. “Fuck,” I muttered. I bent over and tried to pick everything up. Harry reached over to help me.

“Gianna,” Harry said, slowly. “What’s this?”

I looked up to see him holding the piece of paper from earlier at school. He looked at the picture and the message at the bottom. His eyes scanned the page over and over again, trying to make sense of what he was seeing. He asked me what is was again, but I just snatched it out of his hands.

“Nothing, just…nothing.” I shoved it back into my purse and went to open the car door. Harry quickly pressed down the lock button. “Let me out, Harry.”

“Not until you tell what the fuck is going on.”

“I told you I’d tell you when I was ready.”

Harry was silent. “Is this why you didn’t call me at lunch today? Gianna, just tell me what the fuck is going on!”

“Fine!” I huffed. “Somebody tied condoms all over the lunch table we sit at and left this note on it. Happy?”

“Why would someone do that?”

I just shrugged.

“Gianna, what does that note mean?”

I refused to answer him. I didn’t want to talk about it. I just wanted to forget about it.

“Please, Gianna, please tell me what’s going on.”

“Why does it even matter to you?”

“I-I just want to help you.”

“I don’t need help! I don’t need you to try and fix me. That’s all everybody tries to do! I get beat down, and then everybody runs to my side to try and help poor little Gianna. I can handle myself. I don’t need you, Josh.” I closed my eyes and cursed to myself. Had I really just said Josh’s name?

“What did he do to you, Gianna? What did he do that was so horrible? And don’t say it’s nothing, because obviously it’s not.”

I blinked back the tears. I couldn’t say it. I didn’t even know where to start. “I can’t.”

“It’s okay, just tell me.” He tried to take my hand into his, but I pulled it away.

“Stop acting like you’re my boyfriend or something, because you’re not. You’re just someone to keep my mind off of things.”

Harry pulled back and stared forward. “Get out,” he said. He unlocked the doors.

I sighed and wished that I could go back in time. “I didn’t—“

“Get out, Gianna.”

I waited for just a second longer to see if he would maybe come around a bit, but he didn’t. He kept his eyes forward and his hands on the steering wheel. I picked up my purse and stepped out of the car. As soon the door shut behind me, he was gone.

I stood on the sidewalk for just a bit staring after where he had disappeared down the street. There I went again, fucking things up. I finally walked back into my house and went straight to bed.

-

The next morning I told my mom that I felt sick and wouldn’t be going to school. The truth was that I just didn’t want to face everybody. I didn’t want to see Harry, Kelly, Amber, Dale, Stasia, any of my teachers, none of them.

I stared out the window all morning to see if Harry was going to come by like he usually did. He didn’t show up. He didn’t even drive by.

“Okay, sweetie. I’m heading out to work,” my mom said as she came into my room. She saw me staring at the window and let out a sigh. “You like him.”

I turned around. “What?”

"Harry. You like him.”

I groaned and turned around. “I don’t want to hear his name.” My mom walked across the room and kissed me on the top of my head.

“I love you, Gianna,” she said against my hair. She rested her cheek on the top of my head for a moment. “Feel better, honey.”

She kissed my hair and left the room. I continued to stare out the window, thinking that maybe, just maybe, Harry would drive up and I could apologize to him. Then he’d spend all day with me and I’d finally tell him about Josh, and then all would be right with us again.

I got up from the window and sat down at the edge of my bed. My thoughts continued to run wild and I tried to think of a way to make my life better again.

Notes

Wow. A lot happened in this chapter.
Kelly and Amber? They're some bitches, right?
Louis and Gianna somewhat made up.
And now Niall knows about Gianna's and Harry's secret relationship.

But now, Gianna's and Harry's relationship is ruined. Josh is still in her life and it's only a matter of time before Harry finds out the truth.

Stay tuned to find out and tell your friends!
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