Always
The Opinion Of Friends
Harry’s POV
Sunday, 9th October
The dress shirt was tight around my neck so I reached my hands up to undo some of the buttons. I was used to wearing many button-downs, loosely open to make it more comfortable. I didn’t wear suits all the time and Thank God not. Girls had no idea how hard it was to hide a boner in suit pants. I had experienced that problem a few times when Kaylie had been performing on stage. I would have to cross my legs to keep my obvious arousal out of view from the other judges. This is what Kaylie did to me. She could make me hard without even touching me. I could easily be seduced just by thinking about her. I didn’t need to feel her kiss or hear her heart to know that I was in love with her. It was my own heart that told me that.
I was extremely pleased that Kaylie had gotten through again tonight. I had known that picking Hello had been a risk because it was such a big song but it had been worth it as now, everyone could see the amount of talent she had. The public loved her, but not as much as I did. I couldn’t believe it had taken me so long to figure out the depth of my feelings for her. I called myself stupid for not falling in love with her earlier. But now I had the problem of telling her. I had to find the perfect moment to whisper those three big words to her but a perfect moment was hard to get here in the studios. It would have to be elsewhere but where that elsewhere was, I didn’t know yet. I needed help with this. I wished I could call Gemma but she was busy this week, doing an interview for a magazine. I had already talked her. I already had a female perspective on the matter. I needed a male one more. So who can I trust? It came to me in a split second. I can trust the lads.
I grabbed my phone and scrolled down my contacts until I found the person that I wanted to call. The line rung as I folded a T-shirt of mine into my gym bag. Within three rings, a familiar Irish accent hit my ear.
Harry?
“Niall…you busy?” I asked hurriedly.
Right now?
“Yeah.”
No, I’m free. Why?
“I need to talk to you.”
It’s 10 o’clock, Harry. Can’t it wait until tomorrow?
“I have rehearsals all day tomorrow. This is important.” I said sternly.
Let me guess: it’s about Kaylie? Niall sighed. I knew he would know. Niall knew me too well but after six years of friendship, that’s what happened.
“Yes. And I need to talk to you.” I said, zipping up my bag with my free hand. He ended up giving in so I told him to go to my house and we’d talk there. As soon as I got off the phone with him, I decided to call another member of our band. I needed to talk to more than one person because I was truly struggling with my emotions and I didn’t want to lay them all on Niall. I would split the burden.
I slung my bag around my shoulder and left my dressing room, pressing Call on the other contact. I walked down the corridor and waited for my fellow bandmate to pick up. Fortunately, he did.
Hi, mate.
“Hey, Liam. What are you doing right now?”
Packing.
“Why the hell are you packing?” I asked.
I’m flying to L.A. tomorrow at noon, going to meet Pharrell with Julian.
“Can we meet up tonight, so I can see you before you leave?”
I won’t be gone for that long, Harry. Liam laughed.
“I know but I…really need to talk to you about something.”
We can’t talk over the phone?
“No. This needs to be addressed face-to-face.” I answered as I walked down to the garage. My voice echoed off the walls as I headed towards my car.
You haven’t impregnated anyone, have you?
“No! I’m not that clueless.” I sighed, opening the passenger door and placing my bag in the seat. I closed the door and walked around the bonnet to climb into the driver’s seat.
What’s so important then? Is it a girl? Liam asked. I sat in my car in silence, running my hand through my hair. I hadn’t told Liam about my connection and desire for Kaylie. He knew who she was but he didn’t know as much as Niall did. He had his own life, working on his debut solo album and his romance with Cheryl. But this was the first time I had called upon him to speak about Kaylie. I didn’t want to bother Louis because he was still in L.A., fighting a custody battle with Briana over their son, Freddie. He had enough on his plate. I pulled my car keys out of my bag and slipped it into the ignition, letting the car roar to life.
“You could say that.” I said down the phone line.
You’ve never been the one to have trouble with picking up a girl, Harry.
“I haven’t picked her up. We were…thrown together. And I’ve genuinely fallen in love with her.”
Love?!
“Yes, love.”
Alright then. Where do you want to meet? Liam asked.
“My place. Niall’s coming too.”
And within seconds after informing Liam when to come over, I was driving out of the studios, joining the hectic London traffic.
My fingers turned white on the steering wheel, colours of yellow and red flashing before my eyes as I weaved in and out of other cars. I needed to get home as quickly as possible so I could be here before my two mates arrived. The traffic light turned red and my foot pushed down on the brake, slowing the car to a spot. As I waited for the light to turn green, I looked at my bag in the passenger seat. What I would give to have Kaylie be sitting in that seat, smiling at me, her eyes glowing from the car lights around her. What I would give to have her distract me at this traffic light by placing her hand on my inner thigh, dangerously close to the hard organ in between my legs. I just wanted to stop hiding. I wanted to come out into the open and tell everyone that I was in love with her so every single person in the world could know that this angel was mine.
0*0
The doorbell rang and I opened the door to see both Liam and Niall standing there, right next to each other.
“Hi, guys. Thank you for coming.” I said, letting them come inside and we all watched into the main sitting room.
“It’s been a while since I’ve sat on this couch.” Liam said with a smile, draping his whole body on it while Niall sat in one of the armchairs diagonally across from Liam, crossing his ankles over as he placed his feet on the coffee table.
“Liam, sit up. Niall, feet off the table please.” I demanded. It was typical of them to come in and feel like they owned the place. When we were younger, it had been funny but now, since we’d matured, or at least I had, things were different. When neither of them listened to me, I offered them a drink.
“Beer?” I asked.
“That’d be great, Haz.” Niall grinned and Liam nodded, agreeing with Niall. I went into the kitchen and pulled two beers of the fridge. I wasn’t going to have one because I didn’t even drink beer, not after I had it thrown in my eye last year when we had been on tour here in the U.K. I made the decision not to drink tonight since I had rehearsals tomorrow and I didn’t want to be under the influence of alcohol. I returned to the sitting room and handed both men their beers before sitting down on the armchair on the opposite side of the coffee table, Niall in front of me while Liam was on my left.
“So…you’re in love?” Liam asked. There was a ‘pop’ from Niall opening his beer bottle a little too loudly. I looked at him and his blue eyes were wide in shock.
“You’re what?!”
I leaned back in the armchair and rested the side of my hand against my mouth, replaying Niall’s reaction in my mind. I really should have discovered my love for Kaylie earlier and it killed me that I hadn’t found the courage to tell her. Will she love me back? That was my fear, that she wouldn’t love me the way I loved her. That she wouldn’t want me that way I wanted her. I raised my eyes innocently to my bandmates and nodded, letting out a sigh.
“Yes, I am. I’m in love with Kaylie.”
Niall took a long gulp of his beer while Liam arched his back, leaning towards me, clutching his beer bottle in his hands.
“As in Kaylie Walker? Your contestant?” He asked.
“Yes. Do I know another Kaylie Walker?” I scoffed, shaking my head. There was only one Kaylie in my life and she would be the only girl that I felt this way about. There was no other girl for me. I had found the angel I had always wished for.
“When did you realise that you were in love with her?” Liam inquired.
“Last night, when I held her in my arms after the show. And I don’t know what to do.”
“What do you mean?” It was Niall to ask a question this time.
“You know what I mean, Niall. You’ve known about my…connection with Kaylie ever since Judges’ Houses. You remember how worried I was about falling for her? I’m terrified about what could happen if Simon finds out. He said he’d eliminate any of the contestants on the spot if I kissed or fell for any of them and I don’t want Kaylie to leave. I love her. I love her too much to let her go.” I explained, rubbing my face with my hands, moving my fingers into my hair, pulling on it in frustration. While I was grateful that I had found love, I didn’t know what it entailed. I had never fallen this deep with anyone before and even though that excited me, it also made me anxious. But should it? I was so stressed about it all and I suddenly felt like my 16-year-old self again.
“Well, have you told Kaylie how you feel?” Liam spoke up.
“No, of course not.” I said.
“And why the fuck not?” Niall cried, placing his beer bottle on the table, his eyes flaring like two blue flames. Both Liam and I stared at Niall at the same time. I became defensive and narrowed my eyes at him.
“Because, Niall, I just discovered my love for her about 24 hours ago. You really think I’m just going to tell her straightaway? I’m nervous to tell her how I feel.”
“Why?”
“Because of the fucking situation we’re in! I have to kiss her behind curtains. I can’t take her out on dates and treat her like a queen. We’re stuck in this secret. But also, I’m afraid of her reaction. What if she doesn’t love me? She’s only 18 and she told me she’s never had a boyfriend before. All of this is as new to her as it is to me. So what can I do?” I groaned, collapsing back into the armchair, running my fingers across my forehead, closing my eyes. I never thought love would be this hard. I hoped it would be an easy emotion to feel but it wasn’t. It was more difficult I ever could have predicted. I felt someone’s hand pat my knee and I looked over to see it was Liam’s hand. I stared at him like he was my brother, silently asking for advice.
“I can speak from experience, Harry. You know that I’ve been in love. I was in love with Sophia and I’m now in love with Cheryl. And I can tell you, it’s wonderful being in love. I love being in love. It can be hard, with both of us being in the public eye, but the positives greatly outweigh the negatives. The place you and Kaylie are in is completely different to mine and Cheryl’s, I understand that. But in its essence, I believe you should do what I did.”
“And what did you do?” I asked.
“I told Cheryl I loved her. Regardless of her emotions towards me, I wanted her to know that I loved her. Fortunately, she said she loved me too. You need to do the same. Tell Kaylie how you feel and I’m sure everything will work out.” Liam said.
“I agree with Liam, Haz. And how could Kaylie not love you? I saw the way she looked at you at Judges’ Houses. I noticed her care for you whenever she spoke about you. Harry, she bloody adores you.” Niall smiled. I returned his smile but it wasn’t as wide as his. I let my angel’s face consume my mind, reminiscing about all the times her eyes sparkled when I called her “angel". I thought about the way her entire face lit up every time she saw me and how she giggled beautifully when I complimented her. The softness of her lovely voice, the silkiness of her caramel hair, the plumpness of her cherry lips. I loved everything about her and she needed to know that she completed me. That every piece of her fit with every piece of me, finishing the puzzle of my life. I ran my hand through my long curls again and eyed Liam and Niall softly.
“So I should tell Kaylie that I love her?”
Both of them nodded and I sighed, sitting up properly.
“And we all know that Louis would say the same thing as us.” Liam smiled and I smirked. Of course he would. I said to in my head I was truly grateful I had my bandmates to call upon in time of need. They were more like brothers and after six years, we were still just as close. With their trust and advice, I had made my decision. I couldn’t wait to tell Kaylie that I loved her with my whole heart. I just hoped she loved me just as much as I loved her.
Sunday, 9th October
The dress shirt was tight around my neck so I reached my hands up to undo some of the buttons. I was used to wearing many button-downs, loosely open to make it more comfortable. I didn’t wear suits all the time and Thank God not. Girls had no idea how hard it was to hide a boner in suit pants. I had experienced that problem a few times when Kaylie had been performing on stage. I would have to cross my legs to keep my obvious arousal out of view from the other judges. This is what Kaylie did to me. She could make me hard without even touching me. I could easily be seduced just by thinking about her. I didn’t need to feel her kiss or hear her heart to know that I was in love with her. It was my own heart that told me that.
I was extremely pleased that Kaylie had gotten through again tonight. I had known that picking Hello had been a risk because it was such a big song but it had been worth it as now, everyone could see the amount of talent she had. The public loved her, but not as much as I did. I couldn’t believe it had taken me so long to figure out the depth of my feelings for her. I called myself stupid for not falling in love with her earlier. But now I had the problem of telling her. I had to find the perfect moment to whisper those three big words to her but a perfect moment was hard to get here in the studios. It would have to be elsewhere but where that elsewhere was, I didn’t know yet. I needed help with this. I wished I could call Gemma but she was busy this week, doing an interview for a magazine. I had already talked her. I already had a female perspective on the matter. I needed a male one more. So who can I trust? It came to me in a split second. I can trust the lads.
I grabbed my phone and scrolled down my contacts until I found the person that I wanted to call. The line rung as I folded a T-shirt of mine into my gym bag. Within three rings, a familiar Irish accent hit my ear.
Harry?
“Niall…you busy?” I asked hurriedly.
Right now?
“Yeah.”
No, I’m free. Why?
“I need to talk to you.”
It’s 10 o’clock, Harry. Can’t it wait until tomorrow?
“I have rehearsals all day tomorrow. This is important.” I said sternly.
Let me guess: it’s about Kaylie? Niall sighed. I knew he would know. Niall knew me too well but after six years of friendship, that’s what happened.
“Yes. And I need to talk to you.” I said, zipping up my bag with my free hand. He ended up giving in so I told him to go to my house and we’d talk there. As soon as I got off the phone with him, I decided to call another member of our band. I needed to talk to more than one person because I was truly struggling with my emotions and I didn’t want to lay them all on Niall. I would split the burden.
I slung my bag around my shoulder and left my dressing room, pressing Call on the other contact. I walked down the corridor and waited for my fellow bandmate to pick up. Fortunately, he did.
Hi, mate.
“Hey, Liam. What are you doing right now?”
Packing.
“Why the hell are you packing?” I asked.
I’m flying to L.A. tomorrow at noon, going to meet Pharrell with Julian.
“Can we meet up tonight, so I can see you before you leave?”
I won’t be gone for that long, Harry. Liam laughed.
“I know but I…really need to talk to you about something.”
We can’t talk over the phone?
“No. This needs to be addressed face-to-face.” I answered as I walked down to the garage. My voice echoed off the walls as I headed towards my car.
You haven’t impregnated anyone, have you?
“No! I’m not that clueless.” I sighed, opening the passenger door and placing my bag in the seat. I closed the door and walked around the bonnet to climb into the driver’s seat.
What’s so important then? Is it a girl? Liam asked. I sat in my car in silence, running my hand through my hair. I hadn’t told Liam about my connection and desire for Kaylie. He knew who she was but he didn’t know as much as Niall did. He had his own life, working on his debut solo album and his romance with Cheryl. But this was the first time I had called upon him to speak about Kaylie. I didn’t want to bother Louis because he was still in L.A., fighting a custody battle with Briana over their son, Freddie. He had enough on his plate. I pulled my car keys out of my bag and slipped it into the ignition, letting the car roar to life.
“You could say that.” I said down the phone line.
You’ve never been the one to have trouble with picking up a girl, Harry.
“I haven’t picked her up. We were…thrown together. And I’ve genuinely fallen in love with her.”
Love?!
“Yes, love.”
Alright then. Where do you want to meet? Liam asked.
“My place. Niall’s coming too.”
And within seconds after informing Liam when to come over, I was driving out of the studios, joining the hectic London traffic.
My fingers turned white on the steering wheel, colours of yellow and red flashing before my eyes as I weaved in and out of other cars. I needed to get home as quickly as possible so I could be here before my two mates arrived. The traffic light turned red and my foot pushed down on the brake, slowing the car to a spot. As I waited for the light to turn green, I looked at my bag in the passenger seat. What I would give to have Kaylie be sitting in that seat, smiling at me, her eyes glowing from the car lights around her. What I would give to have her distract me at this traffic light by placing her hand on my inner thigh, dangerously close to the hard organ in between my legs. I just wanted to stop hiding. I wanted to come out into the open and tell everyone that I was in love with her so every single person in the world could know that this angel was mine.
0*0
The doorbell rang and I opened the door to see both Liam and Niall standing there, right next to each other.
“Hi, guys. Thank you for coming.” I said, letting them come inside and we all watched into the main sitting room.
“It’s been a while since I’ve sat on this couch.” Liam said with a smile, draping his whole body on it while Niall sat in one of the armchairs diagonally across from Liam, crossing his ankles over as he placed his feet on the coffee table.
“Liam, sit up. Niall, feet off the table please.” I demanded. It was typical of them to come in and feel like they owned the place. When we were younger, it had been funny but now, since we’d matured, or at least I had, things were different. When neither of them listened to me, I offered them a drink.
“Beer?” I asked.
“That’d be great, Haz.” Niall grinned and Liam nodded, agreeing with Niall. I went into the kitchen and pulled two beers of the fridge. I wasn’t going to have one because I didn’t even drink beer, not after I had it thrown in my eye last year when we had been on tour here in the U.K. I made the decision not to drink tonight since I had rehearsals tomorrow and I didn’t want to be under the influence of alcohol. I returned to the sitting room and handed both men their beers before sitting down on the armchair on the opposite side of the coffee table, Niall in front of me while Liam was on my left.
“So…you’re in love?” Liam asked. There was a ‘pop’ from Niall opening his beer bottle a little too loudly. I looked at him and his blue eyes were wide in shock.
“You’re what?!”
I leaned back in the armchair and rested the side of my hand against my mouth, replaying Niall’s reaction in my mind. I really should have discovered my love for Kaylie earlier and it killed me that I hadn’t found the courage to tell her. Will she love me back? That was my fear, that she wouldn’t love me the way I loved her. That she wouldn’t want me that way I wanted her. I raised my eyes innocently to my bandmates and nodded, letting out a sigh.
“Yes, I am. I’m in love with Kaylie.”
Niall took a long gulp of his beer while Liam arched his back, leaning towards me, clutching his beer bottle in his hands.
“As in Kaylie Walker? Your contestant?” He asked.
“Yes. Do I know another Kaylie Walker?” I scoffed, shaking my head. There was only one Kaylie in my life and she would be the only girl that I felt this way about. There was no other girl for me. I had found the angel I had always wished for.
“When did you realise that you were in love with her?” Liam inquired.
“Last night, when I held her in my arms after the show. And I don’t know what to do.”
“What do you mean?” It was Niall to ask a question this time.
“You know what I mean, Niall. You’ve known about my…connection with Kaylie ever since Judges’ Houses. You remember how worried I was about falling for her? I’m terrified about what could happen if Simon finds out. He said he’d eliminate any of the contestants on the spot if I kissed or fell for any of them and I don’t want Kaylie to leave. I love her. I love her too much to let her go.” I explained, rubbing my face with my hands, moving my fingers into my hair, pulling on it in frustration. While I was grateful that I had found love, I didn’t know what it entailed. I had never fallen this deep with anyone before and even though that excited me, it also made me anxious. But should it? I was so stressed about it all and I suddenly felt like my 16-year-old self again.
“Well, have you told Kaylie how you feel?” Liam spoke up.
“No, of course not.” I said.
“And why the fuck not?” Niall cried, placing his beer bottle on the table, his eyes flaring like two blue flames. Both Liam and I stared at Niall at the same time. I became defensive and narrowed my eyes at him.
“Because, Niall, I just discovered my love for her about 24 hours ago. You really think I’m just going to tell her straightaway? I’m nervous to tell her how I feel.”
“Why?”
“Because of the fucking situation we’re in! I have to kiss her behind curtains. I can’t take her out on dates and treat her like a queen. We’re stuck in this secret. But also, I’m afraid of her reaction. What if she doesn’t love me? She’s only 18 and she told me she’s never had a boyfriend before. All of this is as new to her as it is to me. So what can I do?” I groaned, collapsing back into the armchair, running my fingers across my forehead, closing my eyes. I never thought love would be this hard. I hoped it would be an easy emotion to feel but it wasn’t. It was more difficult I ever could have predicted. I felt someone’s hand pat my knee and I looked over to see it was Liam’s hand. I stared at him like he was my brother, silently asking for advice.
“I can speak from experience, Harry. You know that I’ve been in love. I was in love with Sophia and I’m now in love with Cheryl. And I can tell you, it’s wonderful being in love. I love being in love. It can be hard, with both of us being in the public eye, but the positives greatly outweigh the negatives. The place you and Kaylie are in is completely different to mine and Cheryl’s, I understand that. But in its essence, I believe you should do what I did.”
“And what did you do?” I asked.
“I told Cheryl I loved her. Regardless of her emotions towards me, I wanted her to know that I loved her. Fortunately, she said she loved me too. You need to do the same. Tell Kaylie how you feel and I’m sure everything will work out.” Liam said.
“I agree with Liam, Haz. And how could Kaylie not love you? I saw the way she looked at you at Judges’ Houses. I noticed her care for you whenever she spoke about you. Harry, she bloody adores you.” Niall smiled. I returned his smile but it wasn’t as wide as his. I let my angel’s face consume my mind, reminiscing about all the times her eyes sparkled when I called her “angel". I thought about the way her entire face lit up every time she saw me and how she giggled beautifully when I complimented her. The softness of her lovely voice, the silkiness of her caramel hair, the plumpness of her cherry lips. I loved everything about her and she needed to know that she completed me. That every piece of her fit with every piece of me, finishing the puzzle of my life. I ran my hand through my long curls again and eyed Liam and Niall softly.
“So I should tell Kaylie that I love her?”
Both of them nodded and I sighed, sitting up properly.
“And we all know that Louis would say the same thing as us.” Liam smiled and I smirked. Of course he would. I said to in my head I was truly grateful I had my bandmates to call upon in time of need. They were more like brothers and after six years, we were still just as close. With their trust and advice, I had made my decision. I couldn’t wait to tell Kaylie that I loved her with my whole heart. I just hoped she loved me just as much as I loved her.
Notes
I know it’s a short chapter but I wanted to update for two reasons:
1) HAPPY HALLOWEEN, EVERYONE! (Because it’s the 31st here in Australia)
2) Today marks the day I attended the boys’ last tour date in Sheffield. I can’t believe it’s been a year since that incredible night but the memories I have of it will last forever!
I couldn’t resist having Liam pop up, I adore him! I was really iffy about this chapter but one of my best friends on here, Ashley, reassured me that it wasn’t shit and I hope you guys think the same :)
blankspace1 xx
We’re dying for an update here. I love it. <3
11/19/17