*Journal Page*
After my lunch with Lizzie yesterday, I came home and drank too much. In my sad, drunken state, I made a phone call I really shouldn’t have. Now I have a holiday planned, a trip meant to take my mind off of Lizzie. In my heart I know it’s wrong, yet my head keeps telling me to give it a shot.

************
Alice looks at the journal pages. “Harry, their seems to be a bit of a time gap in the journal pages.”
Harry sighs. “Yeah, I didn’t write in my journal during the holiday.”
“Why not?” Alice asks cautiously.
Harry looks down. “I think perhaps I didn’t want to remember it.”
“Did you not enjoy it?”
His gaze returns to that nonexistent item in the far distance. “It wasn’t all bad, but it was a mistake. I used someone to try to get my mind off of Lizzie. I feel bad for that, although she used me as well, for her own reasons.” Harry looks at Alice. “I was hurting, and I chose the wrong way to dull the pain.”
Alice turns a page toward him. “Is this one next?”
Harry smiles. “Yes.”

*Journal Page*
Liam and Lizzie invited the other lads and I over today. We all greeted each other; I gave Liam a hug, then moved to hug Lizzie. “Sweet Lizzie, you look beautiful.”
She told me thank you and with concern in her pretty eyes, asked how I was.
I smiled, told her I was well.
Everyone sat in the lounge while Lizzie walked into the kitchen. I followed her.
We shared a short conversation. “Need any help?” I asked.
She smiled, yet looked a bit nervous. “You could put all of this on that tray for me.”
As I worked beside her, she turned to me. “Are you really doing well, H?”
I tried to give her a confident smile. “I’m fine, Lizzie.”
I could hear her take a deep breath, as though working up some courage.
“I know it’s none of my business, but I’ve seen some pictures online.”
She paused, and I thought did they make you jealous? When she didn’t continue, I said. “And?”
Lizzie turned, looking in my eyes. “Just please be careful of who you trust...who you let in.”
I felt my heart squeeze. Leaning down, I kissed her forehead. “I appreciate your concern, Lizzie, but I’m fine.”
Liam entered the kitchen then, asking if Lizzie was ready.

We were all sat together in the lounge, when Liam announced that we were going to be uncles. Lizzie was pregnant.
Although my heart should have dropped at that moment, instead it swelled with love
for Lizzie. Her first thought after Liam made the announcement was to look up at me...to check on me.
While everyone else talked, she made her way to me. “What do you think, Uncle H?” She asked me.
I hugged her tight, then I told her. “Lizzie, babies are always a good thing. I’m honestly very happy for you and Liam. I just knew you were glowing today.”
When I got home, I was actually happy for Lizzie. How can I be sad about a baby? I smiled as I imagined Lizzie having a little girl as beautiful as she. Sure, there was a little twinge in my heart, wishing it was my baby.

************
“It’s hard not to be happy about a baby, no matter the circumstance“ Alice smiled.
“Very true. I think that was the night I decided my next plan.”
“What was that?”
“I was never going to stop loving her, but I needed to stop showing it.”

Notes