For Your Eyes Only

Annie’s POV
The steady rising and falling of the person beneath me was what woke me up the next morning. My eyes fluttered open to see Niall snoring quietly on his back. I was on my stomach, head rested in my arms and completely laid out on top of him. I smiled lazily, remembering the events of last night. I was his now. I was really his. He had been so gentle, so careful with me, constantly asking if I was alright, and adjusting so I’d be more comfortable.
“Are you an angel?” I whispered, resting my chin on my arms so I could see his face. His eyes squinted open, instantly drawing his face into a small smile.
“Far from it, princess,” he replied quietly. His big hands wrapped around my bare waist.
“I think you are. I think you’re an angel sent to sew all the little pieces of my heart back together, one at a time.” His chest rumbled in a small laugh. Oh, how I loved his laugh. I could live a thousand years on just the sound of it in my mind.
“Let me tell you a secret,” he whispered. “I don’t know how to sew.”
“Duct tape works too,” I giggled. He laughed and rolled our bare bodies over and supported himself above me, pulling the twisted sheet up his back. I groaned as I realized how sore I was. His pretty face fell in concern, but then I grinned, much to his confusion.
“What?” he asked. I reached up and pressed lightly on the big purple mark below his ear, causing him to wince. He prodded the area as well before breaking a smile himself. “Silly girl,” he said, rubbing my nose with his. “I gave you one too.” I allowed him to guide my hand to the same spot on my own neck and closed my eyes, sighing contentedly.
“Guess what?” I said, wrapping my arms around his neck.
“What?”
“I love you.”
“Guess what?”
“Hm?”
“I love you more.” I giggled and kissed him before realizing what today was. I instantly sobered at the thought of the funeral. “Hey, you’re gonna be ok,” he encouraged, rubbing the back of his fingers over my flushed cheek. “It’s already noon. Let’s get something to eat, then you can show me around.”
“Ok,” I agreed. Anything to take my mind off of it.
We spent the day walking around Plymouth harbor. I took him to Cupcake Charlies, we ate a really late lunch at Seafood Sam’s, and then we saw the Plymouth Rock. Then we took about an hour napping in the park against a tree before Niall woke me up. We had to head back and change for the funeral.
I pulled the black lace dress over my head and tugged it straight to my knees, turning so Niall could zip up the back. He was already wearing black slacks and a black sport coat with a white button down underneath, and if it weren’t for the circumstances I’d have noticed how hot he looked. But no, my mind was elsewhere as he helped me shrug on my black blazer and handed me my bag.
Then we were in the car. I was clinging to Niall’s hand desperately for the support I’d never been able to find before, and every time he looked at me I knew he’d be there when I needed him.
We were only coming to the burial, and the moment we stepped out of the car I was warring against the anxiety in my chest. I wanted to scream, to cry, to hit something as the ceremony progressed. But none of it would show. The emotions were a swirling mass of anger and self-hatred as I watched his coffin carried to the grave, the big, rectangular hole that signified eternal separation from my brother. I squeezed my eyes shut at the rifle salute, but they snapped open when I heard my name called. I looked up to see a man in a sharp uniform holding out a neatly folded American flag. His face softened when he spotted the fear in my eyes.
“He was a good man,” he whispered, taking my hands and placing the flag in them. I nodded my thanks, not trusting my voice as I could feel my entire body trembling. The ceremony ended, and slowly everyone began to depart until Niall and I were the only ones left standing there. I found myself standing by the coffin, Niall giving me my space.
“Well, J-Jack,” I began in a whisper, hoping he could hear me. “I’m keeping up my end of the bargain. You said-you said not to cry when I heard my first gunshots up close, and I didn’t. But n-now you have to keep your end. You have to come teach me how, Jack. You have to come back and show me how to take off the slide on your old 9 millimeter Browning. Remember that one? You have to tell me that I’m not holding my finger over the trigger right. You have to come back, Jackson. You have to come back so I can tell you that I forgive you and that I love you and-and y-you have to hug me like before a-and…” I couldn’t continue. The tears were cascading down my face in showers of hurt and pain.
Niall wrapped his arms around my shoulders and pulled me into his chest, shielding me from everything I would have face alone if not for him. I cried for longer than I’d cried in years. I cried until my knees felt ready to give and my eyes were bloodshot from the tears. Then I felt my legs swept out from under me as I was held tightly to Niall’s chest and held there. At some point he sat down, and I felt tears of his own splash onto my arms. That’s when he started to sing.
“Those times it hurts and the pain’s too much,
You only want the end, you only wanna give up.
I know the feeling that bottle can put in your heart,
When somebody else has gone and torn it apart.
But in those times when you’re all alone
I’ll pick you up and I’ll carry you home.
You keep asking why
But baby look at the sky.
My love shines brighter
Than all the stars at night.
Because even when I see you with a knife in your hand,
And even when I know nobody else understands,
I’ll always stand behind you and catch you when you fall,
Just know you’ll never hit the ground. I’ll always be there when you call,
Because I’m yours… and you’re mine.
I’m yours, and you’re mine."

Notes