For Your Eyes Only

Finally Saturday rolled around, my day off. I really needed to clean up the disaster zone that was my room. I discovered that most of the pizza boxes were still full. Ew. That only served to remind me that I wasn't eating. But who cares. No one was there to tell me I needed to. Nobody wanted me to be healthy for them. Nobody was there for me...
I started to pick articles of clothing up and chuck them on the unmade bed when I encountered a t-shirt that Niall had given to me.
~Flashback~
“Annie! Come on, we’re going in!” Niall shouted at me as he removed his shirt and headed for lake, but I got there first, not bothering to take off any clothes. I canon-balled right in front of Niall’s face, surprising him, to say the least. As soon as I came to the surface, however, he got his revenge. His big arm enveloped my waist and dragged me farther out until it was too deep to stand and held my legs around his waist, spinning in the water. I screamed and clung to him, laughing into his neck.
“Oi, oi! Hands off! This is a group swim!” Louis called from the previously abandoned life-guard’s chair. The rest of the boys splashed into the water, tackling us and dragging us apart.
“That’s mine!” Niall and I shouted in tandem, pointing at each other as the distance between us increased.
We swam for hours, laughing and having more fun that I could have imagined was possible. Finally the boys got out and checked their phones and almost collapsed at the amount of texts from Paul telling them to get their you-know-what’s back to the hotel.
My white t-shirt was glued to my skin. I blushed and gasped when I realized you could see my teal polka-dot bra perfectly. I was a very modest person. I didn’t like party dresses, or any dress really that was higher than mid-thigh. I didn’t wear crop-tops, but that was more of an insecurity. Just then something was pulled over my head. I turned to see Niall shirtless, pulling my arms through his shirt that he had put on me. It was blue, and dry. Then, of all things, he kissed me.
~End of Flashback~
I felt a guarded tear slip down my face and rushed to stuff the shirt into a drawer. Out of sight, out of mind, right? Right. I then proceeded to find anything and everything to distract myself, so I flipped on the TV in my bedroom and found a good music channel. I sighed, relieved. I felt like I had just escaped a monster. The monster of emotions. I went back to cleaning and mentally cursed Niall for being so wonderful and perfect and beautiful and… no, no, no. I was crying again.
“Argh, stop it, Annie! He doesn't want you anymore!" I shouted out loud. Just then, a familiar sound on the television caught my attention. I jerked my head up to face the TV and my jaw dropped open.
“So, Niall, you’ve been so busy, we haven’t gotten any information about the mystery girl you were seen kissing quite passionately about a month ago. Could you fill us in?” My man rubbed the back of his neck and his eyes bore a hole in the floor, refusing to meet anyone else’s. I’m fairly certain I was the only one who caught a glimpse of Harry and Liam discreetly rubbing his back.
“Yeah, um, she’s away right now, but, um…”
“What’s her name?”
“A-Annie,” he stuttered nervously.
“How long have you known her?”
“About, like, two months now.”
“Some of the fans are reacting quite negatively. They’re calling her ugly, fat, and-”
“What?” he asked in disbelief. Suddenly he sat up straight and made direct eye contact with the interviewer. “She’s the most beautiful woman I have ever met. She’s funny, sweet, and I don’t know anyone as kind. I don’t care how much she weighs, or what the haters think. She’s beautiful, perfect, and she’s mine.” I was standing, now, right in front of the screen. Niall. He hasn’t forgotten about me. I touched the screen with my hand, wishing he was here. He still wants me. He thinks I’m beautiful. I left my room slowly and made my way down to the kitchen in the back room. I needed more space. I spread my palms on the counter and began to breathe deeply, trying desperately to calm myself down. I could feel my chest tightening as the anxiety finally pushed through the ten-foot-thick concrete wall with razor wire on top and anti-aircraft guns that I had built around my heart.
I loved him. I loved him. For gosh sake, I freaking loved him. But I couldn’t have him.
“Annie?” I think I’m passing out. I love him. He’s mine and I’m his. He loves me too. But I can’t. I can’t be with him. I’ll only make his life harder. “Annie, oh my gosh, are you ok? Annie!” I think I’m falling. Ouch, that hurt… Someone is screaming. Stop screaming. It hurts my head. I couldn’t breathe, but that was ok. Maybe when I died I could watch Niall. Maybe I could help him. Maybe… no, right now I just wanted to sleep. Sleep…

Notes

Uh-Oh! She's had another panic attack :( She needs her Nialler!