For Your Eyes Only

I rolled out of my own bed, in my own house, above my own Auntie’s little shop four weeks later to get to work. I had started working more than ever before. I hit at least 46 hours a week, just to keep myself occupied. I hadn’t cried when I left him. I hadn’t even seen him. I woke up alone that morning, with only a note and a coiled guitar string next to it. The moment I had gotten back I went straight to the jewelry store down the street and had the string put between glass and made into a necklace that I now wore every day. I wasn’t able to communicate with him, either, because management made us delete each other’s phone numbers.
I refused to think about him. Some days I would spend an hour staring at a bottle of pills and wondering what would be worse, death or love? Was it really love, before I had to go? I had had my fair share of crushes, but I had never in my wildest dreams imagined a feeling so strong as when I was anywhere near… him. I had only known him for a month. So, there was no way I could be in love, right? No way I could want someone so bad. But I did. I couldn’t go a single day without having to remind myself that I’d never get him back, because I wasn’t good enough. Even if he wanted me, there were too many obstacles. Besides, Julian was right. I was just a distraction.
My phone went off across the room, and I stumbled over to it, trying not to knock anything over. There were clothes everywhere, pizza boxes on the floor.
“H-hello?” I muttered, mentally cursing whoever had the nerve to-
“Hey, Annie! I haven’t seen you in a couple days. Can you stop by tonight after work?”
“Sure, Auntie. I’ll try. I’m working ‘till closing tonight.”
“Again? Did you ever stop to think that you’re over working yourself, kiddo?”
“I’m fine. I need the money.”
“Whatever you say. I got Legally Blonde to watch tonight. Bring your PJ’s so you can stay over.”
“Ok. Love you, bye.” Auntie wasn’t doing much better. She still couldn’t walk, and it hurt to see her like that, so I usually stayed away unless she did the ‘come spend the night’ thing. She was lonely. So was I. She was still in the hospital, and had physical therapy every day, because I wasn’t allowed to look after her, being only 18.
I stumbled down the stairs and into the back room to start the coffee. I went through the motions of the morning, grabbing a granola bar, getting dressed, driving to work. After clocking in at the CD store, I discovered that they wanted me on stocking today. Great, I get to organize a million CD’s and still get told it looks crappy today.
“Hey, Annie,” said a decidedly masculine voice as I began filling up the section of Country music.
“Hi, Eric,” I replied, refusing to look at the darker skinned body builder with black hair and really, really intense eyes. Yeah, not interested. He thought he was all that and more, and everybody knew it.
“Need a hand?” he asked, reaching for some CD’s and purposely brushing my hand with his own.
“I’m fine, thanks.” Go away.
“Nah, lemme help,” he pressed. I sighed and nodded, not wishing to argue about it. Suddenly somebody crashed into me from behind, sending the stack in my hands to the floor. “Watch where you’re going, stupid!” shouted Eric, drawing the eyes of everyone in the store. I flinched at his raised voice, but quickly gathered the fallen CD’s and touched his arm.
“Eric, sh! I’m fine,” I whispered sharply. He looked at me, a bit puzzled for a moment, before finishing up the rest of the pile.
“Hey, Annie,” he said as I was walking away. “I was wondering if maybe, later tonight, you wanted to grab a drink?” I almost did a double take, surprised to say the least. He thought I’d go out with him? Well, here comes reality…
“I’m visiting my Aunt in the hospital and staying the night right after work,” I replied flatly. I’m not interested, Taylor Lautner.
“How about tomorrow?” he asked hopefully.
“No. I have some work to do at home, and I have to run the shop,” I lied. Tomorrow was my only day off and I was definitely planning on binge watching Gilmore Girls. Alone.
“I could come by for supper. I’ll bring the drinks?” he suggested. He moved in closer, cornering me in the back of the store. His eyes traveled up and down my body, and I wasn’t even wearing skimpy clothes. I was literally in crappy khakis and a navy shirt. I could have passed as a freaking Wal-Mart employee.
“No, Eric. I’m busy,” I snapped, shoving him aside.
The rest of the day seemed to drag by until finally I clocked out and pulled into the hospital parking lot.
“Auntie,” I called, entering her room.
“Hey, kid! How are you?” she asked with a smile. How was I really? Pretty crappy, but she didn’t need to know that.
“Great, how about you?”
“Paralyzed, but that’s a different story.” She always had to crack those stupid jokes, didn’t she? That just made everything worse. I knew she was paralyzed. She didn’t have to remind me every time I saw her.
“So, it’s Legally Blonde tonight?” I asked, changing the subject.
“Yeah, and I got the nurse to smuggle in some Ben&Jerry’s.”
“Oh, yum. Did you-”
“Yes, she got chocolate,” Auntie laughed. She knew my tastes better than anyone.
“I love you,” I emphasized.
“I know.” She winked and I laughed, but I didn’t really feel it. I wanted to feel it. I wanted the happiness in my face to pierce the fog of depression around my heart. But it wouldn’t. It couldn’t.

Notes

Sorry, this is kind of a crappy chapter. Also, sorry, because I haven't updated in two days. I was celebrating my friends 18th birthday party :) I have the next chapter coming in a few minutes :)