I have my salad and water bottle in my hand about to walk in the cafeteria until I see him eating for me. But something doesn't seem right. I was just defending Harry against a girl who I will admit I was jealous of, and now I'm here why? I mean it's just having lunch it's nothing right then why do I feel a sense of guilt. That is the thing between Harry and I relationship I was always feeling guilty.

I don't want to overthink this so I just go and sit with him.
"Hey" I sit next to Zayn.
"Hey, I got you this" He hands me a coffee.. "thanks much needed." I smile and take a sip

We sit and talk for a few minutes Zayn is very much in my situation lost his parents early age, then his grandfather passed away and now only has his nan. It's exactly like my life. But then
my pager goes off. "Umm sorry I need to go."
"That's ok your saving lives." He winks
"See you around." I smile and leave.


"everything ok here" I step into Harry's room. He is just laying upright in bed.
"Yea I know it's your break and thought you might wanna stay in here?" Wow this is so awkward. "Unless you don't that's cool." His tone now seems sad which breaks me.

"No it's ok I'll stay here." I sit on the chair.
"Um is it ok if I miss my rehab session this afternoon, not really feeling up to it." He reveals.
"Um yea that's fine, but are you sure you did great last time." I remind him
"I'm just not feeling it today"

I won't push him about it anymore. I see his hand moving around so I take his hand and he smiles. I then hear a knock at the door. "Come in" I say. I stand up and oh know it's Zayn.

"Sorry but i thought I'd bring you this" He hands me my phone I did't even know I forgot it. "You left it at lunch."
Harry lets go of my hand. "Sorry I'l let you get back to it, see you soon babe."


"Harry that's no----"
"On second thought I will go to rehab, tell them I'm ready.

---

"Ok there ready for you know. Boys you coming again.."
"Of course" Niall says. "Ok let's get going" I go around to wheel Harry, "It's ok Liam will do it." Harry suggests. I step aside and let Liam take him.



Harry has been in rehab for about half an hour now and I am waiting by the phone to get a call to collect him. The phone then rings but not from my end, "Ok I'll be right down" Nat the eldest nurse speaks and hangs up.

"Mr. Styles need to be collected can you mind my area" She stands up "Um his my patient though."

"Apparently he requested another nurse." She shrugs her shoulders and leaves.

I have screwed up yet again, and this time there is no going back.
I mean this can't be because of before with Zayn I never thought this would be his reaction but I didn't do anything but sit and have lunch with him.

I am annoyed now and yes I do understand Harry's situation, I mean I don't know what he is going through but I can only imagine, we are often put in these situations and find ourselves not to make the best choices or decisions and the consequences come crashing down making us realise that life is real, there is no way of faking it.

"Lyla you ok." I look up and see Zayn. "Not now Zayn." I yell but regret it "Sorry'" I apologise immediately. I get up and stand in front of him "You did need to witness my mood swings" I apologise again.
"It's ok" He smiles. "If you need a chat I'm here" He says and walks away.

I hear laughter and chatter coming my way and see Harry being wheeled and having a banter with his mates. I roll my eyes and go back to my desk.

"well he is a kind gentleman." Nat sits next to me "Nat your blushing." I joke with her.
"Lyla you know I have a loving husband at home for me" She replies and we laugh.
"Can I have a look at his progress report please" She hands me his file.

Wow he has made more progress and I take a peek at the doctors notes.

Mr. Styles progress is going immaculately. One thing I notice is that his rehab focus isn't so much for him but other people. He doesn't want people to know about his condition I think he still may be in denial .Seems to be that he has a point to prove that he is good enough and to be worth like he was before. He has admitted to me it is a long way down, one minute he was successful had everything he wanted but when tragedy strikes it is a long way down to normality.


This breaks my heart he feels like he has a point to prove but he needs to do this for himself, no one else but himself. I then head a loud crashing sound and immediately run to Harry's room my heart is racing.


"Harry are you ok?" I see him on the floor attempting to get get up. I rush to him and pick him u, picking him up under his arm. "NO STOP, STOP" he yells making me flinch.

"Harry I need to get you in bed." I remain calm.
"NO just go Lyla." I let go of him, I get frustrated with him I'm only trying to help him but I feel I'm doing more damage.

"You know what Harry you need to do this for yourself, no one else but you." I make a stand and leave him alone like he wants to be.

Notes