"I think you need to leave" Harry says, I have told him the complete truth my job as a pap and how getting closer to him I was able to keep my job, how I first saw him on the boat in St. Bart's.

"Harry please I know your upset, but my feelings for you are real. Me, you, us was never lie."

He looks up, he sits at the end of his bed and I stand opposite of his room with red puffy eyes.. "Are you kidding, everything has been a lie. Lyla your a complete stranger." He preaches the truth.
"Harry please, I can't say sorry enough but I do love you, so much if I could take all this back I would."
He just shakes his head. "Why did you do it?" He looks to me which he hasn't done in a while.

"It was my job Harry." I say truthfully. "Your job Lyla, really?" He raises his voice.
"Yes Harry my job, not everyone can be like you and have a job they actually love, people work because they need to make money to keep a roof over their head and protect their family. We can't all live a luxury life like you." I raise my voice.

"That's not a good enough excuse." He yells back. stand up and yell "It's not an excuse it's the reality of my life, you never ever have to worry about money, your fans pay your bills" I'm full of anger, sadness and frustration I don't know how I'm still standing.

He then stands up were so close yet so far he looks in my eyes and yells "Really your job was to break my heart" Making me step back. He is completely right, I look down to the floor I don't have the courage or right to face him. "Harry please I am so sorry." I cry

"Lyla go." He steps back from me. "ARE YOU DEAF LYLA GO" My lips quivering and my whole body shaking. I run out of his room not bothering with anything and run out of his house uncontrable tears and heavy breathing. The pain and anxiety I am feeling is indescribable I hurt him, so badly and I can't do anything about it now. I love him so much and now it's all over.

---

I don't know how but I managed to make it to my gran and her sisters house. I bang on the door.
"Lyla, sweetheart," Gran answers the door and I collapse into her arms.


She takes me to the bathroom and fixes my face up my makeup is everywhere and I have panda eyes. "Lyla, you had to tell him" She gets a makeup wipe and starts her job. I sit on the toilet seat and start to cry "I can't live without him, gran. I broke his heart, I broke his heart" I repeat and she is quick to hug me. I feel bad for complaining I mean she has lost the love of her life and there is no way for him to come back and I pushed Harry away it is my own fault that he isn't coming back.


I feel my phone vibrate and silly enough I think it might be Harry. I sniffle and wipe my nose with my sleeve,






"Anne"





I tap my fingers nervously on the table as I wait nervously. Then I see Anne walking in I stand up and hug her tight" Hi sweetie." I cry again looking at her is like looking at him. "The it will be ok." We break away and take our seats in a cafe.

"Anne I am so, so sorry for dragging you in this." I cry and wipe my tears away as I try and speak.
"Hey just give him some time ok." She grabs my hand. "You should have seen him Anne, it's like I ripped his heart out." I whisper.



"Oh god" I look up in the air to stop my tears falling. "I am so sorry Anne" She just weakly smiles. "Lets go to my hotel ok." She stands and takes my hand.

We step out of the cafe and there is wave of paps Anne and I walk past them with constant yelling asking questions about Harry and I, I keep my feelings in and show no emotion.



Last night I stayed at Anne's hotel and now I am waiting for my plane to go back home.

I finally land on familiar land and heat. I have enough money for a cab the last few days I have realised my account is becoming less of money, and I have no job anymore I decided to quit working for Jack I had enough of him and what he calls making a living imposing on other peoples life and I have definitely learnt my lesson.

Another thing I should mention is that Jack well now used to pay for my rent at my apartment and my granddads medical bills back when he was alive. But all thats been cut off.
I say thank you to the cab driver and wheel my suitcase that Anne had got for me from Harry's place -Harry I miss him so much. It's only been less than twenty four hours pathetic I know.

I pull up to my apartment and notice a paper stuck to my front door. My eyes widen, I leave my suitcase here and make my way to Jack's office.


I storm in the office annoying the sectary saying I can't go in. I see him on the phone and no I'm not waiting. I pick up the phone from his desk and throw it out the window. I get the paper from my bag and hold it up. "I'M BEING EVICTED" I yell.

"Well yes, you no longer work for me so I no longer fund your life".
"Jack come on this ridiculous" I toss the paper. "No it's fair." He sits down. "Jack please just a few more months, please" I beg with him.

"Come back to work and I will" I need somewhere to live, but my pride and I just picture Harry's beautiful yet broken face. "No" I confidently say. "Then no house" he shrugs his shoulder and that stupid smirk.


I get my suitcase and back at my old apartment, and start to walk around the busy streets in LA

How did my life get here. I had my mother, my grandfather, they were both taken. My gran she will stay in London and go on with her life thats how it should be. Then most importantly I had Harry he was my everything but my stupid self played him for to long, Whenever I was with him it's like nothing bad would happen ever again, he was the light in my life.

I remember like it was yesterday seeing him walking in swiftly and confidently in that cafe in St. Bart's and I met Anne and felt a sense of mother and daughter relationship again. Then at his party at his amazing penthouse dancing to 'The heart wants what it wants.' Then running away from Kendall and on his balcony were we almost kissed but ran away. Him being there for me and my gran when granddad died, which was also our first time. All this sadness and pain I am feeling hurts so much, but in a way it's good all these feelings I have is the only reminder oI have left and I will hold onto it.

Now my life is pointless I have no job, no house, no relationships nothing. I am homeless mentally and physically. The sun is setting and I am exhausted lucky its still summer time here so I go to the cave where Harry and I last were and decide to sleep here the night.


I lay alone and cold and look up to the night sky and try and count the stars, my mind wonders to Harry what he is doing, maybe moving on from me. The thought of that makes me sick but at the same time he probably wants to erase me.

Notes