Love in a Photograph

Conflicted. That is what I am feeling, conflicted about what is happening what in front of my eyes. It is eight on a Saturday night and I am basically watching an attempt of a really bad porno movie. Steph is basically mounting Harry on the couch opposite me, as he runs his hands through her hair thats when I snap. I get up from the couch and put headphones in my ears and escape to my own little world. I wish Harry would run is hands through my hair, I wish he would see what I see. I guess were just supposed to be friends, they why can't I get him out of my head and most important why did he nearly kiss me the other night. This isn't all happening in my head is it? I pause my music and see Harry calling me, really he is just down stairs. I swipe and answer the phone. "Hayls were going out come with us?" he asks and I can here Steph in the background.
"I'm ok" I whisper and roll my eyes at the annoyance in the background.
"Come on, were gonna hit a club" He demands. "JUST PISS OFF!" I hang up, but I wish I didn't hang up the phone like that. Within a few short minutes I hear the front door close and roll on my pillow and scream.



I see the headlights of his car as he and should be me drive off. I keep picturing them together. Steph has it all - everything beauty, height, confidence. I can see why Harry would fall like someone like her. Her red lips that he pecks makes my heart ache. Maybe I should be more like her stray away from the boring Hayley James that I am and try and be more confident.

But that will never be me, I just can't. I want too but I have massive confidence problem and Harry used to be the one who would wash it away, but now he is the one who is the reminder of my insecurities.

I wish Harry would come back, wish I didn't get angry with him on the phone.
It is now 2am I see a car outside with headlights passing maybe it's Harry. To my disappointment it's not I leave the window and crawl back in my bed.

Harry and I are like a crooked love, we were never straight, we sent time apart and that created a jagged line in our relationship. We always push each others buttons even from a young age, heck if I used the same colour crayon as hime in a picture we would get annoyed at one another - I know first world war problems.
Now his back in my life it's all good, and I have stop dwelling and accept what is.

Notes