headmaster styles.
○ I'll Hold You Closer ○
“I lost her once, I’m not going to lose her again.”
March 30, 2012
Back At The Hotel
“Never again!” Harry yelled as he paced back and forth. I sat on the edge of the bed and he shook his head, “Never again!” he just repeated the same thing over and over, “I’ll never let you leave me again! You promised me you wouldn’t leave me and you did!”
“It wasn’t my fault-”
“It was your goddamned fault! You could have said no, but instead you let him pull you into hell! You got drunk, Ana, and you almost let him kiss you!” He rubbed his temples and I burned with anger.
“I wasn’t drunk!” I yelled, but it only made it worse.
“You’re meaning to tell me that you weren’t drunk and you were going to let him kiss you any fucking ways!” He picked up the alarm clock on the nightstand and threw it at the glass door, shattering it to pieces, “It was one party, Ana! One fucking party! And you go on ahead and let a drunk guy touch you?! And you didn’t even know the fucker!”
“You’re the one who agreed to go to the party anyways!” I sobbed and he shook his head repeatedly.
“I trusted you to take care of yourself, that’s why I didn’t come after you immediately! But that’s what I see when I come back?!” He looked at me in a way that made me cry harder, and he frowned, “If anything Ana, I should be crying. But you know, I kind of expected this so it didn’t really hurt that bad.”
That hurt worse. “Harry I love you! You know I do! But if you’re always on my ass like this 24/7, then I will not be able to live with myself! Every single time a guy looks at me, all hell breaks loose! I can’t even look at a guy nicely without you digging your claws into me! Like, what the fuck?! Why won’t you just let me live my life?!” I yelled louder and louder, and he glared at me.
“Fine! Do whatever the fuck you want, because I’m done!” He yelled out and stomped to the front door, storming out and slamming it shut… Leaving me. I cried out and collapsed to the floor, burying all my thoughts into my heart and just letting my tears fall from my eyes. I don’t care anymore. I buried my face in my knees and just sobbed. I can’t deal with this anymore! I closed my eyes as tears flooded down my cheeks, and a flashback popped into my mind.
“So you’re saying you’d leave anyways?” Harry questioned.
“I’ve thought about it a few times. And the reason why I’d leave would be you, so maybe if you would stop being a jerk I wouldn’t leave,” I said and he set down his bowl.
“You always taunt, but you never do it.” He took a deep breath and I raised my eyebrows, “If you wanna leave so bad, than pack your shit and leave! No one is stopping you Miss Greene!” His angry smile frightened me and I went to say something but he stopped me by screaming, “Leave!”
Then I jumped back and shook my head, tears filling my eyes as I ran up to my room. I grabbed my phone and ran back downstairs. Malina can get my stuff later because I can not come back to this hell-hole. I sprinted to the door and quickened my step when I heard my name being called.
“Wait! Anastasia! I didn’t mean it!” I walked out of the door but the voice followed behind me, “Anastasia wait! I’m sorry!” His apology was real, but I couldn’t take it, “Anastasia!!” All of a sudden, he grabbed my arm and I gasped. He pulled me close to him. “I am sorry. I didn’t mean it. Please… Stay.” His rapid breaths were intoxicating my own because he was so close. His lips were inching closer to mine as he rasped, “Stay..."
He pleaded me so beautifully, he apologized so sincerely. But… Why did I stay? Was it because I needed something to do? Was it because I couldn’t live with myself if I left him with that pitiful look on his face? He didn’t love me when he asked me to stay so… Why the hell would he love me now? Is that why I stayed? Because I thought he loved me? All of a sudden there was a knock on the motel door and I scrambled to my feet and ran to the door. When I opened it, I saw Niall.
“Hey… What’s wrong? Oh my God. Are you okay? What happened? Are you hurt?” He closed the door behind him and I just stood there, staring at him. No tears, no expression. Just shock. Why hasn’t he come back yet? “What?”
“Why hasn’t he come back yet?” I yelled and he held up his hands.
“Who?” he looked at me, confused.
“Harry.” I hit his chest and buried my face in it, crying my eyes out again.
“Well… How long ago did he leave?” he asked and I pulled my head from his chest, my hair sticking to my wet cheeks.
“About thirty minutes ago…” I muttered and he stood up straight.
“I think I know where he is. Come with me.” He grabbed my arm and pulled me out of the room, taking me down the stairs and outside. I was expecting him to pull me farther, but he stopped and just looked.
“What? Where is he?” I asked, looking around.
“There,” he pointed to a corner and I saw Harry. Disheveled hair, red face. Surrounded by people, and hovering over… Carter?
“Oh my God,” I slipped my heels off and handed them to Niall, then I ran over to the crowd and pushed people out of the way, “What the hell is going on?” I slid on the ground to Carter and the concrete sliced open my knees, and I checked to see if Carter still had a pulse.
“Anastasia?” A silent voice came from behind me and I turned to see Harry on his knees, “Baby, I…” He reached for me but I fell on my bum, making him stop. His hands were covered in cuts just like they were when he rescued me from Gina. Then I looked at Carter to see his face covered in an equal amount of cuts.
“Why? Why did you do this Harry?” I whispered and he looked at me, his eyes hurt and his heart clearly broken.
“Why didn’t you stop me?” he asked and I straightened up, “If you would have stopped me from leaving I wouldn’t have beaten him.”
“Do you honestly expect me to do everything? The only thing I’ve been doing lately is crying. I cry all the time because you always fight with me and one of us ends up walking away. What if… What if we’re finally together and one of us walks away from each other? We wouldn’t be able to come back as easily as we can now.” I wiped my tears away and Niall and a few guys carried Carter to a car as the crowd disappeared.
“I don’t intend to walk away again, Ana…” He trailed off and stood up, helping me off of the ground, “Listen bébé. I love you, but sometimes you push me to my limit and I have to get away for more than an hour so I won’t put my anger out on you.”
“So you’ll put your anger out on other people? He didn’t deserve that Harry… You almost killed him.” I put my hands on his chest and he drew his brows together.
“Oh he deserved it. You know why?” He leaned down towards me and muttered, “Because he touched my girl.”
“And I’m still your girl?” I asked and he gave a wolfish grin.
“Always, Anastasia Greene. Always.” He nodded his head and wrapped his arms around me, “I’ll hold you closer to me from now on. I’m not going to let you leave my side. I can’t stand to see you with anyone else because it’s just me and you. No one else. It’s never been anyone else. It started with me and you, it’s going to end with me and you. I promise baby. You’re my one and only…” He kissed me softly and then in an instant, I remembered why I stayed.
I stayed because I wanted to- because I needed to. I’m nothing without Harry, and if I leave, I’ll be nothing. I stayed, because I am desperately in love with this man.
March 30, 2012
Back At The Hotel
“Never again!” Harry yelled as he paced back and forth. I sat on the edge of the bed and he shook his head, “Never again!” he just repeated the same thing over and over, “I’ll never let you leave me again! You promised me you wouldn’t leave me and you did!”
“It wasn’t my fault-”
“It was your goddamned fault! You could have said no, but instead you let him pull you into hell! You got drunk, Ana, and you almost let him kiss you!” He rubbed his temples and I burned with anger.
“I wasn’t drunk!” I yelled, but it only made it worse.
“You’re meaning to tell me that you weren’t drunk and you were going to let him kiss you any fucking ways!” He picked up the alarm clock on the nightstand and threw it at the glass door, shattering it to pieces, “It was one party, Ana! One fucking party! And you go on ahead and let a drunk guy touch you?! And you didn’t even know the fucker!”
“You’re the one who agreed to go to the party anyways!” I sobbed and he shook his head repeatedly.
“I trusted you to take care of yourself, that’s why I didn’t come after you immediately! But that’s what I see when I come back?!” He looked at me in a way that made me cry harder, and he frowned, “If anything Ana, I should be crying. But you know, I kind of expected this so it didn’t really hurt that bad.”
That hurt worse. “Harry I love you! You know I do! But if you’re always on my ass like this 24/7, then I will not be able to live with myself! Every single time a guy looks at me, all hell breaks loose! I can’t even look at a guy nicely without you digging your claws into me! Like, what the fuck?! Why won’t you just let me live my life?!” I yelled louder and louder, and he glared at me.
“Fine! Do whatever the fuck you want, because I’m done!” He yelled out and stomped to the front door, storming out and slamming it shut… Leaving me. I cried out and collapsed to the floor, burying all my thoughts into my heart and just letting my tears fall from my eyes. I don’t care anymore. I buried my face in my knees and just sobbed. I can’t deal with this anymore! I closed my eyes as tears flooded down my cheeks, and a flashback popped into my mind.
“So you’re saying you’d leave anyways?” Harry questioned.
“I’ve thought about it a few times. And the reason why I’d leave would be you, so maybe if you would stop being a jerk I wouldn’t leave,” I said and he set down his bowl.
“You always taunt, but you never do it.” He took a deep breath and I raised my eyebrows, “If you wanna leave so bad, than pack your shit and leave! No one is stopping you Miss Greene!” His angry smile frightened me and I went to say something but he stopped me by screaming, “Leave!”
Then I jumped back and shook my head, tears filling my eyes as I ran up to my room. I grabbed my phone and ran back downstairs. Malina can get my stuff later because I can not come back to this hell-hole. I sprinted to the door and quickened my step when I heard my name being called.
“Wait! Anastasia! I didn’t mean it!” I walked out of the door but the voice followed behind me, “Anastasia wait! I’m sorry!” His apology was real, but I couldn’t take it, “Anastasia!!” All of a sudden, he grabbed my arm and I gasped. He pulled me close to him. “I am sorry. I didn’t mean it. Please… Stay.” His rapid breaths were intoxicating my own because he was so close. His lips were inching closer to mine as he rasped, “Stay..."
He pleaded me so beautifully, he apologized so sincerely. But… Why did I stay? Was it because I needed something to do? Was it because I couldn’t live with myself if I left him with that pitiful look on his face? He didn’t love me when he asked me to stay so… Why the hell would he love me now? Is that why I stayed? Because I thought he loved me? All of a sudden there was a knock on the motel door and I scrambled to my feet and ran to the door. When I opened it, I saw Niall.
“Hey… What’s wrong? Oh my God. Are you okay? What happened? Are you hurt?” He closed the door behind him and I just stood there, staring at him. No tears, no expression. Just shock. Why hasn’t he come back yet? “What?”
“Why hasn’t he come back yet?” I yelled and he held up his hands.
“Who?” he looked at me, confused.
“Harry.” I hit his chest and buried my face in it, crying my eyes out again.
“Well… How long ago did he leave?” he asked and I pulled my head from his chest, my hair sticking to my wet cheeks.
“About thirty minutes ago…” I muttered and he stood up straight.
“I think I know where he is. Come with me.” He grabbed my arm and pulled me out of the room, taking me down the stairs and outside. I was expecting him to pull me farther, but he stopped and just looked.
“What? Where is he?” I asked, looking around.
“There,” he pointed to a corner and I saw Harry. Disheveled hair, red face. Surrounded by people, and hovering over… Carter?
“Oh my God,” I slipped my heels off and handed them to Niall, then I ran over to the crowd and pushed people out of the way, “What the hell is going on?” I slid on the ground to Carter and the concrete sliced open my knees, and I checked to see if Carter still had a pulse.
“Anastasia?” A silent voice came from behind me and I turned to see Harry on his knees, “Baby, I…” He reached for me but I fell on my bum, making him stop. His hands were covered in cuts just like they were when he rescued me from Gina. Then I looked at Carter to see his face covered in an equal amount of cuts.
“Why? Why did you do this Harry?” I whispered and he looked at me, his eyes hurt and his heart clearly broken.
“Why didn’t you stop me?” he asked and I straightened up, “If you would have stopped me from leaving I wouldn’t have beaten him.”
“Do you honestly expect me to do everything? The only thing I’ve been doing lately is crying. I cry all the time because you always fight with me and one of us ends up walking away. What if… What if we’re finally together and one of us walks away from each other? We wouldn’t be able to come back as easily as we can now.” I wiped my tears away and Niall and a few guys carried Carter to a car as the crowd disappeared.
“I don’t intend to walk away again, Ana…” He trailed off and stood up, helping me off of the ground, “Listen bébé. I love you, but sometimes you push me to my limit and I have to get away for more than an hour so I won’t put my anger out on you.”
“So you’ll put your anger out on other people? He didn’t deserve that Harry… You almost killed him.” I put my hands on his chest and he drew his brows together.
“Oh he deserved it. You know why?” He leaned down towards me and muttered, “Because he touched my girl.”
“And I’m still your girl?” I asked and he gave a wolfish grin.
“Always, Anastasia Greene. Always.” He nodded his head and wrapped his arms around me, “I’ll hold you closer to me from now on. I’m not going to let you leave my side. I can’t stand to see you with anyone else because it’s just me and you. No one else. It’s never been anyone else. It started with me and you, it’s going to end with me and you. I promise baby. You’re my one and only…” He kissed me softly and then in an instant, I remembered why I stayed.
I stayed because I wanted to- because I needed to. I’m nothing without Harry, and if I leave, I’ll be nothing. I stayed, because I am desperately in love with this man.
Notes
Another chapter down, more to come!Hey, do me a HUGE FAVOR and check out this lovely girls book! It's amazing, and I absolutely love it! It's called In The Lonely Hour, and it's phenomenal so far!
I'll hopefully be posting another chapter soon!
Kal xx
@xXFluffy_GruXx
bruh, Mayday Parade is killer. I'll have to listen to it and read that chapter at the same time haha.
2/21/17