Change My Mind

STEFANIE

I stood on the corner by the studio where the guys were starting the process of recording the new album, stretching as I waited for Liam to meet me for our morning run. I had been there for over fifteen minutes waiting and was starting to become more impatient as the minutes ticked by. I was just reaching into my pocket to grab my phone when I felt a tap on my shoulder, prompting me to jump a little as I turned around.
“Oh! Louis, hey. What are you doing here?” I asked with a very confused look on my face.
“Liam texted me and said he wasn’t up for a run this morning and asked if I’d join you today.”
“Oh…well I mean, we don’t have to go running. I’m sure you have better things to do like spend time with your girlfriend or prepare for the tour.” I was hoping he would take the easy out I was giving him but sure enough, he didn’t pick up on my signals.
“No, really I’m happy to go on a real run for once. I feel like all I get to do anymore is use the treadmill.”
“Ummm okay…” I guess my morning run won’t be as peaceful as I’d like…awesome. “We better get going.”
I turned in the direction of the park behind Louis so we could take the trails, but he must have misunderstood my stepping in his direction because he leaned in towards me and stretched his arms out like he was going in for a hug. I pulled back a bit and he clenched his hand into a ball as he pulled it back again. I could tell he was already embarrassed by the mistake so I decided not to point it out to further humiliate him. I gave him a quick smile and said Liam and I usually run in this park over here.
I led the way down the trail when Louis started to bring up last night’s events. “So the movie night was fun…”
“Yeah, it was nice…Erin and I hadn’t really gotten a chance to have one of those in a while.” We ran in awkward silence for a minute before I continued, trying to break the tension. “Erin and I used to host movie nights back home all the time growing up, then when we moved to the city it ended up being just her and I at movie nights.”
“Oh yeah?” Louis said clearly feeling uncomfortable and not knowing what to say.
“Yeah. I mean sometimes we’d have a couple friends over but it just wasn’t the same.” Okay now, stop rambling I thought to myself.
It was just so frustrating how even though I really wished he hadn’t shown up I wanted nothing more than to have him respond to whatever silly anecdote I come up with to make this less awkward. I shook my head and decided that if he couldn’t participate in an adult conversation I wasn’t going to bother trying to make this any easier. After a minute or so I picked up the pace a bit lost in my own thoughts not realizing he hadn’t been keeping up with me. It wasn’t until I heard Louis yelling loudly but hearing his voice from far away that I realized I’d left him behind. I slowed down and eventually stopped running all together to let him catch up.
“Hey!” he said trying to catch his breath, “I’ve been calling you since you started speeding up.”
“Sorry. I guess I was just thinking about some stuff and forgot I wasn’t alone.”
“Oh…” Louis said looking hurt by my last comment. Secretly I relished the fact that he had been hurt but it also angered me. He had no business being hurt by something so trivial especially since he was being so quiet to begin with, and most importantly…he has a girlfriend. This tiny but very important detail screamed at me from the back of my mind as I heard myself apologizing to him. “Listen I just have a lot on my mind right now and you were being so quiet…sorry.”
“Don’t be.” He said with a hint of a smile playing on his lips as he continued to catch his breath. “I have to say, you’re pretty fast. I almost didn’t stop you because the view from back there was amazing.”
“Oh…okay.” I said wondering what he meant by ‘the view’. “I’ll try to slow down a bit.” I shook it off and went back to running alongside Louis again. I noticed him stealing glances at me once or twice as we ran and just as we got to a clearing at the top of a hill I saw the most beautiful shade of purple bouncing off the lake, playing with the pink and orange shades in the sky as the sun rose. I stopped in my tracks and this time it was Louis who ran ahead. After a moment he realized I wasn’t with him anymore and walked back towards me to see what I was staring at. I took in a deep breath. “So beautiful.” I said as I took in the bright colors of this gorgeous morning.
“Yeah…Really beautiful.” Louis said interlocking his fingers with mine. I looked over to see that Louis hadn’t been looking at the same thing as me at all. He had been staring at me.
I rolled my eyes and pulled my hand from his grasp, “Seriously? What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
“What?” he asked trying to cover up the fact that he’d been staring by looking out over the lake.
“Don’t play innocent with me! I know you were talking about me just now. I can see it in your eyes. I can’t do this with you! You’re making this too hard.”
“I’m sorry.” He offered weakly.
“No! I don’t think you are! This is nothing more than a game to you isn’t it?” I looked over the lake and took a deep breath before continuing, “You know what the worst part of this whole thing is? You’re the one who has been acting all crazy about what may or may not be going on with Liam and I and saying things that are completely inappropriate but I’m the one who’s taking the heat!”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” He said starting to get defensive now, “You think I don’t catch any crap? The guys are all over me for just smiling at you. Sometimes I’m in the middle of a sentence and you walk by and I forget what I was about to say so I just stop talking and stare at you.”
“I’m not talking about the guys!” I yelled cutting him off, “Oh boo hoo, the guys make fun of you for acting foolish around me, but I’m talking about your girlfriend!”
“What do you mean?” He said eyeing me carefully not knowing where I was going with that.
“I mean your girlfriend is all up in my shit about how I better stay away from you when I’m not the one doing anything wrong! You have a girlfriend and I don’t care what your feelings are, as long as you are with her, we can only be friends! Is that clear?”
“Yes! It’s just…it’s hard.”
“Well either you learn to behave the way friends should or you keep your distance! I’m not kidding!” I saw the hurt look on his face and I felt bad but I had no choice but to stay strong. If I buckled now he’s never going to stop pushing me and I just didn’t know how much longer I could stay away from him.
“Look, I gotta go. I have to get ready for rehearsals, and you should do the same.” I ran off before he could say anything and I hoped he wouldn’t follow or try to continue this conversation. I ran all the way home holding back the tears until I made it into the front door of my building. I allowed myself to let just a few tears fall before regaining my composure and walking through the front door of my flat. Erin was thankfully already awake and showered when I walked in.
“Hey how was your run?” she asked.
“Uuuuggghhh! I don’t want to talk about it right now!” I said trudging through the mess of pillows and blankets left in the living room from last night towards the bathroom to take my shower. I stood under the hot water and let it work through the tension in my neck, trying to get my head right for rehearsals and the inevitable aftermath of yelling at Louis this morning. And I have some choice words when I see Liam later too!


ERIN
After Stefanie stormed in the way she did I thought I’d help her cheer up a bit by treating her to her favorite drink from Starbucks. Once I put a venti caramel macchiato in her hands she opened right up about this morning’s events with Louis.
“So then he grabs my hand and says, ‘Yeah…really beautiful’! Can you believe him? He has a girlfriend! Why the hell is he saying things like that to me?”
“I know! God! The nerve of him.” I agreed with her and shook my head as we walked up to the City Room entrance by the box office. I listened as she vented about how she dreaded what would happen when she ran into Louis. When we walked through the gate we saw a line of girls waiting to have their pictures taken with the guys.
When Stefanie saw Liam her expression changed again, “And when I get my hands on that one…Liam is the reason all this happened. He knows just how much my morning run means to me and how it helps me clear my mind before a long day.”
“I know honey, but at least give him a chance to explain why he sent Louis this morning. You don’t know what was going on with him.” I said reasoning with her to try and stay calm when talking to him.
“Yeah, I guess you’re right…I’m just so frustrated. This is not what I needed after last night. I’m so over all the drama.”
I looked over at her and said, “I know.” Just as I was about to look back towards the entrance of the arena Niall and Harry caught my eye when they pulled a little girl into a group hug.
“Speaking of giving someone a chance…” Stefanie said.
I looked at her confused for a moment before realizing what she was talking about, “Oh come on! That’s really unfair.”
“Is it?” she questioned. “I mean really think about it, you’re so concerned about ending up with another Chris that you aren’t even taking the time to try to get to know him. He’s really a great guy and you’re taking what you see in the magazines way too seriously.”
“You didn’t see the way he looked at me the first time we met, it was like he was undressing me with his eyes and he came on way too strong.” She rolled her eyes at my argument, “No really, did you ever think that maybe he’s acting a certain way around you so that you will talk me into giving him a chance?”
“I highly doubt that’s part of his master plan.” She said with a laugh. “But you clearly didn’t see how happy he was when you jumped into his arms, how he didn’t take advantage and cop a feel like Chris would have. And lastly you didn’t see the hurt in his eyes when you pulled away from him.”
I looked over and saw Harry with a huge smile on his face as he posed for a picture. He looked up at me and I saw a hint of a sparkle in his eye. I almost got lost for a minute in his gaze when Stefanie pulled my attention back to her, “Please just promise me you’ll think about it? I would never push this if I thought he would hurt you.”
“I guess…” Just as I was starting to feel like maybe she was right, Harry’s voice captured my attention. “Well aren’t you the most beautiful girl I’ve seen all day, I love your dress.”
I looked over and saw Harry chatting up this leggy blonde in a short skirt as she put her arm around him and lean in for a picture. He wrapped his arm around her waist and I felt my blood boil at the thought that I almost fell for his lies. Just last night he was cuddled up next to me after two weeks of chasing me around trying to get my attention and now he was hitting on the first girl to bat her eyelashes in his direction.
I started to feel so angry that if I didn’t walk away now I’d go over and embarrass myself yelling at him for playing with my mind like that. I had to get out of there. Now. I turned to Stefanie and said, “You know what? Forget what I just said. I’m not wasting my time on a womanizer like him.” I stormed off, not looking back as Stefanie called after me to find out why I’d changed my mind again.


STEFANIE
I stood there in shock. What could’ve possibly happened in the thirty seconds between her warming up to the idea of giving Harry a chance and then suddenly changing her mind again? I looked over to find out if I could see what Erin saw and that’s when I saw Liam walking in my direction. I took a deep breath and rolled my eyes as I prepared for dealing with Liam and why he ditched me this morning.
“Hey baby doll.” Liam said brightly as he sauntered over to where I was standing.
He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and I quickly shrugged it off, “What happened to you this morning?”
“What do you mean?” he asked innocently.
“I mean where were you? Why didn’t you make it to our morning run? And why on earth did you send Louis as a replacement?”
“Whoa…that’s a lot of questions.”
“Yeah! It is! My morning run is meant for peace and relaxation, not for confrontations with a guy who has no boundaries! How could you not call to warn me that Louis was coming instead of you?”
“Okay, okay. I’m sorry. I just thought that you guys didn’t get to finish your conversation last night and I know how much you like him. I thought I was helping.”
I took a deep breath again, “I do like him, but that wasn’t helping because I’m trying to get over him.”
“Why do you want to get over him? It’s very clear that he likes you too. I’ve never seen him get that jealous before.”
“But that’s the point! He gets jealous when he has no right to. He has a girlfriend. It would be great if he didn’t but he does so it’s kind of a fucked situation. I just need some distance from him until I can get over him, ya know.”
“I know, and I’m sorry. I won’t put you in that position again okay? I promise, but for what it’s worth…I don’t think things are going to work out for him and Eleanor. They’ve been at each other’s throats since before you came into the picture.”
I looked at him with pleading eyes, “Please just stop saying stuff like that because it’s only going to give me hope where hope doesn’t exist. I’ve been there before and I know that the guy never leaves. He always stays, even if he is miserable.”
“Okay. I’m sorry. Come here.” He said pulling me in for a hug.


LOUIS
“Okay guys, that's all we have time for.” I said as we took one last picture, “Thank you guys for coming out, and we hope to see you at the show.” I said hugging on more fan before Harry and I headed into the arena. I looked over and saw Liam holding Stefanie in his arms, rubbing her back as he whispered into her ear. “You’ve got to be fucking kiding me!”
“What?” Harry said looking up at me.
“That! Right over there…Stefanie swore that nothing was going on between her and Liam, and just look!”
“When did she say that?”
“Last night when we were at her flat for movie night.”
Harry looked at me questioningly, “Are you sure she said that? Because I heard most of that conversation and I don’t recall her saying that…”
“What? What do you mean?”
“Did she say the exact words ‘Liam and I aren’t together’?”
“Yeah…well, no…come to think of it she really only said it was none of my business…”
“Well she’s not wrong.” It was my turn to look at Harry questioningly. I waited for him to continue. “I mean think about it. You haven’t broken up with Eleanor, so as far as Stefanie is concerned you chose Eleanor over her. You should be focusing on your relationship with your girlfriend and not Stefanie, especially if you aren’t going to end things with Eleanor.”
“I know, I know…It’s just so frustrating. Stefanie and I decided to be friends but she is always so hot and cold with me.”
“Trust me when I say that I understand that, One minute Erin is all about it then pushing me away the next. Look at the end of the day, you need to do your best to keep your temper under control. As far as we know there is nothing actually going on with Stefanie and Liam and you have a girlfriend anyway so it shouldn’t concern you if there was.”
“Yeah I know.” I said looking down, kicking a rock as we walked towards the arena.
“Come on, let’s go in to rehearsals and get your mind off of all this.”
“Alright.”

ERIN
When Stefanie called an emergency staff meeting early this morning I was shocked. I mean I live with the girl! Even when I‘d arrived she was nowhere to be found. So here I sat surrounded by the entire crew and the band all of us patiently waiting for Stefanie to arrive.
“Do you know what’s going on?” I asked, approaching Liam, if there was anyone that would know what Stefanie was up to, it would be Liam.
“Hey Erin,” Harry breathed from over my shoulder, before Liam could respond and I jumped a little at his closeness.
“Hey,” I replied with a forced smile. Before the tension between us could rise, Stefanie walked to the front of the room, past Liam, Harry and I without so much as a backward glance.
What the hell was going on?
As she reached the raised platform in the front the room, everyone around us began to quiet down.
“Good morning, everyone,” Stefanie began with a warm smile and was greeted with the appropriate responses.
“I just wanted to get everyone together and say a big thank you for all of the hard work you have all been putting in for this tour. I couldn’t have asked for a better crew. You guys are amazing. I know that I’ve been asking a lot from all of you, long hours, hard work and just complete availability and to let you all know how much I appreciate your efforts I’ve decided that for the next five days,” she paused for a moment her eyes scanning the room, “You all get time off.”
Cheers and applause broke out across the room and a smile broke out onto everyone’s faces, mine included. I didn’t know what I would do with five days off but even if I just lounged out I would be happy to have a break. Before my mind could delve too far, I looked up and noticed that Stefanie was off the stage and walking towards me.
“So I planned a little surprise trip for us,” Stefanie said turning to face me with a huge smile plastered on face. I stared at her waiting for her to continue.
“We’re going home for a couple days,” she informed me and for the life of me I couldn’t understand why she was so excited about going back to New York, I mean seriously it was wonderful here. She handed me two plane tickets and when I looked down at them I instantly became just as excited as she was. We weren’t going to New York, we were flying into Pennsylvania.
“Oh my God!” I screamed and Stefanie and I began jumping up and down together. It had been years since either of us had been back there. Both of our best childhood memories were spent in Pennsylvania. Whether it was lounging at the pool, or hiking in the woods or jumping off cliffs at the nearby waterfalls. Growing up there had been awesome and I say that even though I was only there half the year. The other half of the year I lived with my father in New Jersey but the summers I spent up in the mountains with Stefanie were some of the best times of my life.
“And not only are we going home, but we are camping out! I reserved a spot on the camp grounds at the waterfalls!!” Stefanie informed me her voice coming out in a squeak.
“Holy hell woman, what is that decibel that you are speaking at?” Liam asked, walking over to us. He wrapped his arm over Stefanie’s shoulders and quickly kissed her forehead before continuing.
“I could hear you all the way down the hall from inside the loo,” he laughed and I couldn’t help but chuckle as Stefanie playfully smacked his chest.
“Sorry, but we’re excited so you’re just going to have to deal,” Stefanie said, sticking her tongue out. When Liam asked about what had had us all riled up Stefanie happily informed him of our impending trip.
“I wanna go!” he whined sounding like a bratty toddler. I glanced over at Stefanie and found her eyeing me questioningly and before I could either agree or disagree Liam spoke up again.
“Come on, you guys get to see every aspect of our lives day in and day out. I just want a chance to get a glimpse of your lives, the way they were before all this,” he said, waving his arm around the arena. Stefanie’s eyes met mine and I could tell that we were both in agreement.
“Of course you can come,” Stefanie said with a big smile. Liam grabbed Stefanie, wrapping his arms around her in a huge bear hug as he lifted her off the ground and spun her in circles.
“This trip is going to be bloody brilliant!” he exclaimed and Stefanie and I couldn’t help but join in on his laughter. I hated that at that moment that I thought of Harry, part of me wishing that he were the one coming instead of Liam. After what I had saw earlier, you would think that I would have gotten it through my head that he was a player and I should stay away.
But of course not, not me….that would be too simple.



LOUIS

“So what are you all planning on doing with your mini-holiday?” Harry asked as the five of us piled into the back of the company limo. I hadn’t even really thought about it yet, honestly the thought of it had me slightly disappointed. Normally a five day break would have me thrilled but the second the words had left Stefanie’s mouth the first thought that passed my mind was that I wouldn’t get to see her and that bothered me more then I cared to admit.
“…I can’t wait to see where she grew up,” Liam’s voice said, pulling me back to the here and now.
“Where who grew up?” I asked, unable to stop myself from asking, even though I was pretty sure I already knew the answer. There was only one person that Liam had been spending any time with anymore and that person was Stefanie.
“Stef,” he answered with a laugh, “Have you not been listening to anything I’d been saying?”
“I guess not.”
“She and Erin invited me to go back home with them over break,” Liam explained.
“Just the three of you?” Harry asked and I knew at that moment that his train of though was right along the same lines as mine had been.
Liam nodded.
“I want to go too,” Niall interjected, pulling his cell phone from his pocket.’
“Who are you calling?” I asked and Niall held up his hand silencing me. We all listened intently waiting for some clue as to who he was speaking to.
“You seriously didn’t think you were going to get away with just inviting Liam did you?” he asked without even saying hello. Was it Stefanie he was talking to?
“Nope, nope, I don’t want to hear it. I’m seriously offended that you didn’t think of me,” he continued. I hated only hearing one side of the conversation.
“Thank you I’d love to come,” he said a couple moments later, “Are you sure Stefanie won’t mind?”
And just like that my interest in the conversation dwindled it wasn’t Stefanie that he was talking to. It was obviously Erin.
“We should all go,” Harry chimed in and the second he presented the idea, I loved it. Spending a five day break with Stefanie sounded absolutely perfect. Let’s just hope she and Erin felt the same way.
The short ride back to the hotel was just long enough for me to realize that explaining this sudden trip with Stefanie to Eleanor was not going to be easy. I had two options: Option one I could tell Eleanor the exact plan of this trip, that the guys and I and Stefanie and Erin would be going back to the girls hometown and hope that Eleanor didn’t flip out. Option two: Lie.
I wish I could say that I was a braver man and decided on option one but I’m not.
“I don’t understand why they are you sending you guys over to the states to promote a tour that’s not even going to be there,” Eleanor complained, pacing back and forth in front of the bed which I was lying on in the suite.
“I mean seriously Louis, it doesn’t even make sense. This is so not fair….wait a minute,” she paused and the way she looked at me was chilling, “Is that bitch going with you?”
Of course she meant Stefanie, but I wasn’t supposed to know that because obviously the only way I would know anything about her confrontation with Stefanie would be if Stefanie had told me (which she had) but I wasn’t about to let Eleanor in on that fact.
“Who are you talking about?” I asked innocently, purposefully not taking the bait.
“You know who I mean,” she insisted and still I continued to play dumb.
“Babe, I really don’t,” I lied, crawling to the end of the bed and grabbing her hand stopping her in her tracks.
“Stefanie, Louis…fucking Stefanie,” she resigned meeting my eyes with an angry glare, “She wants you baby. I don’t like her.”
“No she doesn’t,” I said to reassure her even though saying the words caused me more pain than she could ever realize. She leaned forward and kissed me softly and before long I felt her hand pushing gently against my chest causing me to fall back onto the bed. Her kiss became more urgent, her tongue trying forcefully to part my lips and I tried to get into the moment with her. I met her kiss for kiss and as her hands began to explore my body I did some exploring of my own. I gasped as I felt her hand slide down the front of my trousers.
“What the fuck Louis?” she yelled suddenly, “Am I boring you?”
“Of course not!” I protested, trying desperately to stop her from getting up from the bed but she wasn’t listening. Before I could even register what was happening she was up, off the bed and out the door, slamming it behind her.

Notes

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