The funeral had been absolutely dreadful. Nana took us all shopping for outfits. No one wanted to go. Everyone just wanted to go home and be alone. We bought our outfits and went home. We changed into the outfits.

Mine was a black overalls dress with a dark gray long sleeved shirt under it. I had my little black boots on with dark gray tights. My hair was in pigtails.

We were all dressed nice and clean. We were brought to the wake. We all had to stand in a line and receive people's hand shakes and comments. They actually brought us chairs and let us sit on them so that we could be higher up and closer to the adults. Most people just said sorry to us and then talked to Nana and Papa. Usually there are more adults to talk to in a line like this but we were all kids. We sat next to our siblings. Jake, nine, and Abbi, seven, sat at the front. Next to them were Brady, seven, and Mara, five. Taylor, six,and Sydney, four, were next to them. After them were Ellie, seven, and Anna, four. I was next sitting between Anna and Nana. I was only two and didn't like to talk to people that much. I mean that day, usually I would go up to anyone.

"I'm so sorry for your lose," a woman said shaking my hand. I nodded my head and said thank you like Nana and Papa had told me to do.

My daddy had no brothers or sisters and his parents died when he was a boy. His life was just like mine, so I didn't have any aunts and uncles to sit with. My cousins didn't really have any other relatives. They were all in different countries, mostly somewhere in Europe.

"I was your mother's best friend in high school," she continued.

"I think my mommy talked about you before," I said politely, even though it was a lie. My mommy didn't talk about that stuff with me.

"Oh did she?" She sounded surprised. My mommy would have talked about that when I was older. I know it. I just couldn't understand it at this age.

The lady moved on. There were hundreds of hands that I shook. Hundreds of people saying that they were sorry. Some didn't say anything. Some just walked by sadly. Some gave us sad looks. Some ignored us.

When they buried my mommy and daddy I couldn't handle it anymore. I cried out loud. They gave me two roses to throw on their coffins before they were buried. I said some silent words in my head and threw the roses down. It started to rain. It was like God was crying for my mommy and daddy.

We sat there until the grave diggers had buried them. Even then I didn't move. The rain was warm so no one was cold. We waited for hours. No one wanted to go home now. There would be no parents at home. No open arms to go into.

"I know this is hard to ask you kids to do but we need to go home, to you're homes to get more clothes," Nana said quietly. We all nodded numbly and got in the car. I didn't take my eyes off the cemetery until I couldn't see it.

We got to my house last. I walked in and started packing some clothes. Papa said we would come back later to clean it out so that we could sell the house and get the rest of the stuff. I walked past mommy and daddy's bedroom. I couldn't stop myself from going in. I climbed onto the bed and laid in the middle. That's where I slept when I had nightmares. I cried more and then told mommy and daddy that I'm going to be a big girl and let them go for today.

No more crying for now. I need to start praying. Nana and Papa say that we need to pray for their souls to go to heaven. I think mommy and daddy are already there but I'm going to pray just in case.

I went back to Nana and Papa's. I didn't cry the rest of the day. While everyone else cried themselves to sleep, I prayed. I talked to God and mommy and daddy.

Notes

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