Dark Star

I found myself thinking about Harry a lot over the next few days. He would sometimes pop into my head at weird times, like when I was standing in the line at the convenience store. But there were those other times when I was lying in bed and Harry would creep into my thoughts.

First I’d focus on his forest green eyes and the way the sometimes closely studied me. Then I’d move down to his lips. They were pink and full and I could imagine myself biting into the bottom lip.

But did I really know enough about him? Despite the time I spent with him, I couldn’t say I really knew him. Our conversations were limited to work and even those conversations were limited. The job was hardly demanding and pretty straightforward, it’s not as we spoke at length about anything.

But this didn’t mean I couldn’t be attracted to him.

The night of the charity dinner arrived a week later and I stood there staring at my reflection. I was petite with brown hair that I had recently lopped off so it just touched my shoulders. My eyes were big and brown and many people had always said I was “cute”, “cute as a button”, even “as cute as a pixie”. But being “cute” didn’t seem enough to be with Harry Styles. I was twenty years old but I was sometimes mistaken as being younger.

I had settled on wearing my favourite little black dress to the event. I slipped on my heels, hoping Harry wouldn’t tower over me like he usually did.

My parents watched as I fussed around with my hair in the hallway mirror.

“So you’ll be going with Harry?” My Mother asked.

“Yes. I already told you.”
\
“Do you think this will be an ongoing job?” My Father asked.

“I don’t know. I don’t think so.” I said.

I turned to look at them just as the doorbell sounded and caught the concerned looks on their face. I didn’t have time to think about it as I answered the door. Harry stood there dressed in black, his hair long and flowing.

“Hi.” He said simply and then looked over my shoulder to see my parents standing there. “Hello Mr. and Mrs. Denman.”

“Hello Harry.” They said and I felt the insane urge to get out of there.

“Let’s go.” I said abruptly, leading the way down the path to the sidewalk.

He led me to a red sports car that I had never seen before and we drove to the venue.
Jessica, the organiser, was beyond excited when she finally met Harry and when he politely shook her hand, she did not let go.

“Thank you soooo much for attending tonight.” She gushed.

I have to admit Harry took it well. She was effusive with her praise, doing everything but ask for his phone number. Things didn’t get better. I stood in the wings as they led him to a lectern and watched as he awkwardly faced the crowd. I knew he had nothing prepared to say and it kind of showed.

Later he was virtually mobbed by a group of people who pretty much backed him up against the wall. It was impossible for him to reply, they were talking to him all at once. It was not until I pleaded with Jessica to intervene, that they finally let him through.

“Dinner’s about to be served.” Jessica said, flashing a toothy smile. Harry and I shared a look as she prodded us toward a table in the distance. As we walked toward the table, under the watchful eye of everyone there, I felt something on my hand. I looked down to see Harry’s hand bump against my hand before taking hold of it. A quick glance at his face and I could see this was no romantic gesture. His jaw was tight, a light sheen of perspiration on his pale face.

“Are you okay?” I whispered and he nodded as we followed the usher to our table. We sat down at a table of wide-eyed people who stared at Harry whilst pretending they were talking amongst themselves.

After such a promising start I could actually feel his pain. He seemed distinctly uncomfortable as he sat there, trying to keep it together.

“Are you okay?” I whispered again. He nodded grimly as the entrees were served.

But without warning he suddenly stood up and walked away. I paused for a few moments and then followed him, hoping our disappearing act was not attracting too much attention. I did not bother looking back though, my eyes fastened on Harry’s retreating back. I caught up with him outside and although he knew I was right behind him, he did not slow down or look back.

“Harry.” I called as we neared the car.

“I’ve got to go.” He said.

“Okay.” I said, despite my first instinct being to convince him otherwise.

The car ride was quiet but the car seemed to roar as Harry sped down the street. We reached our street in record time and he pulled into his driveway before turning to me.

“Wanna come up for a drink?”

“Are you feeling okay?” I asked, not knowing how to respond.

“I’m okay.” He said. “And now I need a drink. Wanna come up?”

I peered through the window at his dark house.

“They won’t even know you’re here.” He said referring to his parents, as if he was trying to make me feel more comfortable. Instead, my heart beat faster.

“I-I don’t know.”

“Just one drink.” He said and he switched off the ignition and made his way into the house. I tottered after him, in my stupid high heels and followed him into the house.

“Let’s go up to my room.” He said after tossing his car keys into a little bowl on a console table.

“Sorry?” I said flustered.

“My bedroom.” He repeated before looking at me and seeing my reaction. “No need to get so nervous… we’re just gonna hang out.”

I understood what he meant when we finally reached his room. It was huge, at least double the size of his office. A king size bed was placed against one wall, next to what must have been the bathroom. The other half of the room contained a long lounge and comfortable chairs.

“Take a seat.” He said as he took off his coat. I instantly sat down, trying to hide how nervous I was feeling. Harry smiled and headed toward me and I know I must have looked like a deer in headlights when he stopped in front of me. He kneeled in front of me and smiled again before carefully taking off my heels and placing them on the floor.

“Relax.” He said simply.

He turned and walked away and I took the opportunity to take a deep breath. He stood by his bed and took off his own shoes. I wordlessly wiggled my sore toes into the plush carpet as I waited for him to speak. Harry fumbled with a few bottles of pills on his nightstand and I watched as he downed a couple of white capsules.

“What are they for?” I asked.

“They help me sleep.” He replied.

He padded over to his wardrobe and started unbuttoning his shirt. I couldn’t help but breathe in sharply as he took off his shirt and hung it up.

“Take it easy.” He smiled. “I’m just getting comfortable.”

He pulled a white T-shirt over his head before he turned to face me.

“Do you like vodka?” He asked.

I nodded and he winked at me before striding over to the other side of the room. He grabbed a bottle of Grey Goose and two glasses and returned to the couch.

“Should you be mixing alcohol with your medication?” I asked him as he pressed a glass into my hand.

“I can handle it.” He said with a disarming smile. “Can you?”

I shot him an unimpressed look before taking a swig of the vodka. It burned the back of my throat, but I tried to keep a straight face.

“Cheers.” Harry laughed and he clinked my glass against his, which meant I had to another drink of the vodka. He leaned back on the couch and closed his eyes for a moment to take a deep breath.

“So what happened back there?” I asked him.

“Where?” Harry said innocently.

“You know where.” I said pointedly. “Why did you want to leave?”

“I hate feeling like a tiger in a zoo.” He retorted. “I only went because I told you I would.”

“Why?”

“I didn’t want to let you down.” He said.

“Why?”

“Do you always ask so many questions?”

We quietly laughed and he placed his hand on my leg. If it was anybody else, it would have been a suggestive gesture, but Harry made it feel like the most natural thing in the world.

“You seriously need to relax.” He said. “Here, have some more.”

“Are you trying to get me drunk?”

“Soo many questions.”

It was funny to see Harry so relaxed, despite knowing it was the combination of alcohol and pills. We spoke for a while about nothing. The next day I could barely remember what we did talk about… but I remember it felt nice all curled up on the couch. At one point I just watched him, his lips were moving but I could not listen to a word. I admired his plump lips and his piercing green eyes. He poured me another drink and then stood up and walked toward his bed.

“You wanna sleep over?” He asked casually.

“Um no.” I said, a little more forcefully than I intended. I cleared my throat and then smiled. “I only live next door… it’s not as if I have far to go.”

He nodded slowly, as though he had just remembered who I was as he fell back on his bed.

“I can’t hear you from all the way over there.” He said in a voice that bordered on teasing. I stood up and awkwardly made my way over to his bed and primly sat on the edge.

“You’re so cute Ali.” Harry said gazing up at me with a smile.

I did not respond as I gazed back at him, nervously biting the inside of my lip. I didn’t know whether to take it as a compliment or not. I was so preoccupied with trying to figure it out, that I initially didn’t feel the sensation of his finger trailing down my leg.

“And that’s such a cute dress.” He said.

“Thanks.” I breathed. I had only ever been with one guy before. Brad had been way more experienced than me, but he had left me hanging several times. He was fine with receiving pleasure, but giving pleasure was not always high on his priorities. No wonder my body was responding to the incredible sensation of his fingertips making their way up my thigh.

“Thanks for tonight.” Harry said. “I’m sorry I fucked it up… but I’ve always been good at fucking things up.”

“That’s okay.” I managed to say. His fingers had reached the hem of my dress and were now trailing over the smooth fabric.

“Maybe I can make it up to you.”

I swallowed nervously and it must have been obvious because Harry looked slightly amused at my reaction.

“Does that make you nervous?” He asked but I just stared back at him frozen. I had never been with anyone like Harry before. Brad was like an overgrown high school jock… I felt like I was way out of my league.

“You don’t have to be nervous.” He said, turning his face to look up at the ceiling. “But it’s kind of cute that you are…”

His voice was beginning to slur and I looked down to see his hand drop, no longer holding my dress, no longer caressing my leg. He spoke a few more words but I struggled to understand what he was saying. Moments later his eyes closed and I reached out to gently shake his shoulder.

“Harry?” I murmured, but he was fast asleep, effectively knocked out.

I sat there for a moment watching him and making sure he was still breathing before I snuck out of his house, holding my high heels, and into my house next door.

Notes

Happy NY! :)
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