Can we do it all over, over, and over again?

I am stuck in a trance looking into the distance of no where. "There you go love." the bar tender slides me another shot and I guzzle it down. I am at some bar drinking my life away, I mean no one wants me I'm not even good enough to be a mother. I signal the bar man and he slides me atoner drink.

"Hey Evie, right?" Some guy sits next to me on the bar stool. "Yes and you are?" I ask rudely.
"Oh I'm Matt, we go to school together." He chuckles. "Oh yea we have maths together right" I slur. "Ah no Geography actually." I blink a few times and do recognise him he is actually very good looking he is tall, a bit shorter than Harry. He has brown eyes and hair and a lovely smile and from what I can tell a nice body I think I'm drunk so I don't know - well let's just say that he does.

"So Matt what brings you out on this lovely evening?" I ask
"Girlfriend cheated on me with my best friend." he says taking a shot. "What about you?" he moves his head looking at me. "Just felt like so drinks" I take another shot and nearly fall over. "Who, careful there" he catches me and helps me back on the chair. I put my hand through my hair and sigh. "We are both miserable" I rest my head on the table, "Yep" he says popping the P. I then stand carefully and stare at him deeply, "I know what can make us feel better" I whisper and he looks into my eyes.


I carefully tip toe into the house and quietly make my way up stairs it is six in the morning so I jump in the shower. I slide down the shower wall and hold my kneed up to my chest. My life is so screwed up at the moment. I don't remember much of last night but I do know I saw Harry and he pushed me away, why would I come onto him for? I'm such an idiot .

After letting the hot water gets too much I jump out of the shower. Get changed seems like the weather is stepping into Autumn. http://cdn.gurl.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/donkety.jpg
I make my way downstairs and take two Panadol tablets and take them with some water. I boil the kettle and make myself a green tea and sit on the kitchen counter and sip it slowly.

"Morning love" Sophia comes into the kitchen and I smile. "How you feeling" she pats my shoulder and brushes past me, "yea as good as I can be" I reply and take a sip of my tea.
"So what do you want to do today?" she asks me. I just shrug my shoulders. "Nothing really."
"Well El and I had an idea we want to run past you." "Ok" I say in confusion.
"But you have to come with us to the plant nursery."
"Umm ok" I lightly chuckle.


"Ok it's done" Louis finishes and puts the shuffle down. I have El and Soph on either side of my arms, I lean my head against El's shoulder. I am standing here with my family the boys, girls and Oscar. They bought me a little plant in memory of my baby and we have planted in our home, this was all their idea and first I was bit hesitant but this is good, closure is good.
"Evie did you maybe um want to say something?" Liam asks me while holding Soph's hand.

I take a deep breath and let a few tears fall. I take a quick glance at everyone Niall is behind Oscar with his hands on both his shoulders. Sophia and Liam holding hands as well as El and Lou. I take a step forward to the plant. "Hi little one." I sob. "I fell in love with you while you were forming in my womb, now I carry you in my heart instead of your arms." I break down and cry and everyone comes around me and embrace in a group hug. We all detach and I wipe my tears away, looking down and reading the tile: Baby McGuire - Styles

Notes