I Can't Fall for him!

I have finally arrived at the hospital and make my way down to the room I have been coming for the past two months. I grab the door handle and turn it and walk in the room and see Jeremy is still there along with a doctor, that can't be good, I place my bag on the chair and stand next to my brother.
"So she is pretty much the same, but unfortunately she is deteriorating and within months she will be gone, I am so sorry guys" Dr Jones says, we have known him ever since mum got sick and we formed a close bond. I turn my head to see my mum laying there lifeless basically.
"This is why I needed you to be here earlier so you can spend the time she has left" Jeremy says to me and he is absolutely right. "I'm getting something to eat do you want anything?" I shake my head and he heads out the door. I sit next to my mum and grab her hand.
"Hey mummy" I sniffle, "I'm sorry I haven't been here I really am, I love you so much I don't want you thinking that I don't, Please don't leave us, please we need you." I try to control my tears but I can't. My mum got sick about seven months ago she was diagnosed with some rare bone cancer that can't be cured. We lost our Dad a few years ago in a car accident, I honestly cannot bare to lose anyone else in my life. I am still holding her hand looking at the room, white walls ugly curtains hung from the window and the sun is going down, orange is my mum's favourite colour like the sunset I just wish one last time she can see it, I want it to be the last thing she sees maybe it will give her peace when she goes. "I know you miss him Mum, and I'm sorry if you want to leave us, you can I know you want to be with him, you deserve to be happy with Dad" I say and remove some hair from her forehead. I place a kiss on her forehead and head into the green ugliest bathroom in her room, I then feel my phone vibrate and it's Taylor shit I was supposed to have dinner with her.

I explain to Tay what has happened and she told me not to worry about it and she picked me up from the hospital and stayed with me at my apartment for a bit. I am now laying in my bed thinking of my mum I am so busy with my work that I never see her but work is my work it's where I go to escape, I can't help think that everything that has happened is my fault after Dad died I dove myself into my work and ignored my mum and brother if I didn't ignore them maybe my mum would be ok, and not sick. I look over at the clock 3.30AM I sigh and try and get to sleep but my thoughts are disturbing me.

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