One month. It'd been one month since I had returned home. One month of nearly sleepless nights. Sleepless nights filled with thoughts of what Harry and I would be doing if we were on the same continent. I would always get mad at myself for thinking about what Harry and I would do if he were in LA. We'd be sneaking around twice as much and he'd be a lot less stable. It wasn't a thing to hope for, not for a few more months anyway.
I sat in my studio staring at my laptop. I was attempting to work but all I could do was go through the photos I'd taken of Harry. I wanted to see him. I wanted to feel him. I wanted all of the hugs, kisses and snuggles Harry would give. I missed his tender affections and sweet words. I missed him like crazy. I was snapped out of my thoughts by a loud crash in front of me. I looked up to see Katy standing at the other end of the table from me.
"I knocked for like five minutes. What are you so involved in?" Katy inquired with concerned eyes. I stared at her caramel brown eyes. I had to tell her. I couldn't keep it to myself any longer. I was dying not even being able to talk about Harry. I needed to get all of the things I was feeling off my chest.
"Can we talk Katy?" I asked, my voice cracking a bit.
Katy nodded as she sat down, "Of course. You've not been yourself since you've been home. It's definitely not a bad thing but...never mind. What's on your mind?"
"What I am about to tell you, you cannot tell another person until I say it's okay. Do you understand me? NOT A SOUL." I knew my voice was so somber for a story that brought so much happiness to my life. Katy nodded and sat down beside me. She looked absolutely frightened. "I've met someone. I've fallen so deeply in love with a man that is not my husband. It's been eight months since we met and I love him more than I've ever loved anything." I informed her. Katy's eyes widened and her mouth hung open slightly. I was waiting for her response. I needed her to say something. I needed her to say anything. "Katy?" I nearly whispered as her eyes grew a bit dark as she stared at me.
"What? Enola, what the fuck? If Charles finds out he's going to beat the shit out of you. I know you say he's never hit you but I feel like this would make him do it." Katy stated. Her eyes widened again, "Not that I'm saying you deserve it. I'm just saying it would push him over the edge."
"I know what you meant, Katy. But I love someone else. We both know that I've never loved Charlie." I stated softly.
Katy nodded, "Yeah. I know, Enola." Katy looked like she had so much more to say.
"What, Kate?" I murmured, not wanting to push too much.
"I can't believe this. I mean seriously Enola Moon. What happens if he finds out? Huh?" I opened my mouth to answer but she just kept talking. "I know that he's not hit you before. But who is to say that he wouldn't now? Or what if it ends up being like the time you showed up at my house at three in the morning because he was being...rough again. What happens if he does that shit again?" Katy began to appear more scared than anything. "And what if he hurts your boyfriend? The man has tons of money. He could easily hire someone to off your boyfriend. What happens then? You could potentially be causing a murder for hire!"
"Katy. It’s Charlie. He's all talk and you know it. And he's too cheap for the other thing." I couldn't bring myself to say it because it was so ridiculous. "He can't hurt Harry anyway. He's not even in LA. So he'll be alright." I chuckled a little. Katy relaxed a bit after thinking over what I had reminded her of.
Katy scratched her head nervously, "How did you meet him? What are the details of you relationship?" I smiled and began to tell her everything: meeting in Ireland, the two am phone call asking me to go to Italy, everything that happened in Italy, the events of the trip that I had just taken with Harry. Katy stared at me with eyes that showed happiness, shock and curiosity. "Wow. That sounds...amazing."
I beamed, "He is. I love everything about him. He is an absolute angel. The most perfect man on the planet, I swear it." My entire body felt so much lighter after telling Katy everything.
"What does Harry say about the whole leaving soon thing?"
"He loves the idea. He understands that I have some things I need to do before I am able to file. I need to get my mom into a different place, get my art out of this apartment. I need to get all of my ducks in a row before I tell Charles that I can't be married to him anymore." I explained to Katy. She nodded and stayed quiet for a moment. "What Katy?" I asked softly.
"What's the sex like? A million times better than Charles?" Katy smirked a bit as she asked the question.
"More than that. He's is so...amazing. It's not even about the physical when I'm with him though. Yeah, I've never had anything like what I have with Harry but when I'm with him it's about the connection. He's still kind of young so he pours everything he's feeling into it. And he's a romantic. It's all about becoming one being, sharing the space and time. I mean, he has those incredible, heated moments where he's unmistakably primal and all but...every time it's earthshattering." I gushed at her.
"Can you tell me his name again?" Katy inquired with a hint of disbelief.
"Harry Styles." I smiled briefly. She frowned. "Yeah, I know but the man he is in real life is so much more. He is so much more." I grinned at her. Katy sat still and silent for a long time. "He wants to meet you. I've met his mother and sister and of course I know all of the band and the other four boys. But I don't want him to meet anyone but you and my step mum. My parents would lose their minds if I told them."
"Well, yeah, because you're making all the mistakes your parents did. But I would love to meet him as well. Can we set that up?" Katy responded.
I nodded quickly, "He was talking about coming here, to LA, when Charlie goes to New Orleans with his family. I hate going there so I get to stay home. So Harry and I were thinking that he would come here and we'd have some time together."
Katy lifted her eyebrow, "Is that a good idea? I mean, everyone you know...what if you two get caught?"
"I'm an artist. I do consulting for Charlie's friends. Who's to say that I'm not just doing a consulting job?" I replied with a bit of a smirk.
"You are way too good at this. Have you...have you ever snuck around on Charles before?" Katy seemed a bit nervous about the answer.
I shook my head quickly, "Oh no. The only reason that this is happening is because Harry was so different from anyone I'd ever met."
"What's it like? Having an affair, what's it like?" Katy leaned in a bit as though she was waiting for me to tell her another secret.
"Um...it's really draining, emotionally. I feel horrible when Harry gets upset about the things Charlie says to me and it's really hard to calm Harry down when he hears it. Harry texts me a lot at night, for no reason at all, like he's trying to see what Charlie and I are doing. It's hard scheduling calls with Harry so Charlie isn't home so Harry doesn't hear anything and Charlie is totally in the dark. I can't wait until I've put everything with Charlie behind me because I hate what it's doing to Harry. He worries constantly. I don't really like that." I shrugged.
Katy smirked, "Not once have you said anything about feeling bad about hurting Charles' in all of this."
I sighed heavily and rested my head on my fist, "Does that make me a horrible person?" Katy shrugged. "I want to feel bad for him, I guess, but I just can't. Not with the way he treats me. He doesn't love me. He wouldn't show remorse to me if he were doing this."
"Do you think that if Charles found out he'd try to change to save the marriage or is it done for him too?" Katy seemed genuinely curious.
I shrugged, "I'm not sure. I think Charles might try to make me stay but there's no way that I would. I want Harry. I need Harry. Harry is the one that I love and I don't think that I can be with anyone else ever again. As fucked up as all of this is now, I don't see myself with anyone but him for the rest of my time." Katy stared at me with her overly curious eyes. "What? What have I done?" I inquired feeling uncomfortable with her gaze.
"You'd get a divorce just so you could get remarried?" Katy seemed appalled by the idea.
"Well, I don't know if we'll ever get married. I'm okay with just being together." I replied quickly. Katy seemed a bit amused by my response. "What now? Why are you smiling at me like that?"
"I'm glad you've finally fallen in love the way you always wanted to." Katy replied. I smiled and bit my lip. "But you need to leave Charles. Before it's too late. Sooner or later, Harry is going to get tired of sneaking around and waiting for you to be with him all of the time. And it's not going to take long for Charles to see that something is different about you. You are a dramatically different person since you've come back from these trips. You HAVE to act on your decision soon or this will not end well for anyone involved."
I sighed heavily, "I know Katy."
"Do you? Because, forgive me for being blunt, you're having a fucking affair. Which you admit is not fun. The moment you knew you were in love with Harry, you should've walked out on Charles." Katy snapped at me. I nodded slowly. I couldn't be angry with her she was right. "I will gladly help you out if you need it. You can stay with me and Seth until you know where you're really going to go. I know of some great apartments to get your mom into that are still as close to your grandmother as the one she has now. I will help you I promise but...Enola you have to hurry." I nodded again. It was a relief to have Katy on my side.
What do we think of Enola's bestie? Do we like her?