whiplash

Over the next few months things have gone on in the same vein as they started. I’ve lost count of the number of times Niall showed up at my house late in the night only to be gone by morning. He enjoys filling my bed, but for some unspoken reason he never stays. I can’t figure out if it’s because he doesn’t want an actual relationship with me or if he’s just scared. I can’t imagine him being scared, but who knows at this point. All I know is that my poor little heart has had quite the time coping. The problem is that he’s not actually an asshole who screws me and leaves immediately. It’s not wham bam thank you ma'am. When he comes over, it’s nice. We talk and laugh. We hang out together. He’s actually taken to watching one of my favorite shows with me almost every week. He won’t admit that he likes it, but somehow he’s always knocking on my door ten minutes before it starts. And, yes, we do have sex every time he comes over, but he’s not always a cocky little shit about it. I mean, sometimes he is because I think he secretly knows how much I like it when he acts like that, but most of the time our sex passionate. It feels like he knows my body inside and out. He knows exactly how to touch me to make me scream and what to do to turn me into a soft whimpering mess. We fit together in a way I’ve never experienced with anyone else. And even though all of that seems well and good, it’s still not a relationship. He’s never once taken me out anywhere. I’ve never met any of his friends. He doesn’t call me at random times just to see what I’m doing. He doesn’t do the things that a boyfriend does because I’m not Niall’s girlfriend.

I’m the girl he sleeps with when he’s feeling needy and wants some attention.

I’m the girl he fucks when he’s bored and he’s got nothing better lined up.

But I’m not the girl he talks about to his friends.

I’m a secret.

That’s all I am and all I ever will be.

Lily hates this. Absolutely hates it with all of her being. How do I know this? Because she’s told me at least twenty times now. Today makes twenty one.

“Harper! How can you not see that he’s using you?” Her voice is almost at the point of yelling, but she reigns it in at the last moment.

I get up and walk to the kitchen and she follows me. “Just because we only have sex doesn’t mean he’s using me.” She gives me a face that screams you’ve-got-to-be-kidding-me and I realize just how ridiculous I sound. “Okay. Yes. He may be using me for sex but I’m not complaining about it. This is the most action I’ve had in years. I think I’ve gotten off more times in the last three months than I have in my entire life. Why would I get rid of that?”

She huffs and leans against the counter top, crossing her arms and staring at me sadly. “Maybe because you’ve also had entirely too many times where you broke down crying because the fucking asshole has you so wrapped up and confused you don’t even know what’s good for you! I mean, holy hell, is his dick made of solid gold? The sex can’t be that great that you would put up with this shit.”

“Well the sex is…” I begin to say with a bit of a dreamy look on my face, but she holds up a hand to stop me mid-sentence.

“No. I don’t care. Don’t tell me about his diamond encrusted cock and how beautiful it is. He’s still an asshole.” She walks over and grabs a beer from my fridge before pulling herself up onto the counter top and taking a sip. “Just answer this for me, why does he get to have all the power? Why can’t you ever go to his house? Why is it always he calls you with the lame line of…” Her voice drops a few octaves so that she sounds like a dumb teenage boy. “…‘Hey, you home? I’m coming over.’ This is the 21st fucking century! Why can’t you call him? Like right now! I know you want to see him! You’ve brought him up at least fifty times today! SO FUCKING CALL HIM! Pick up your stupid phone, go to his name, and press send. Why does he always get to decide?” She finally throws her hands up like she’s just finished with the entire thing and makes a disgusted noise in the back of her throat. “This is a fucking lopsided relationship!”

Lily is my best friend and I take all she says to heart. So everything that she’s throwing at me right now is weighing heavy on me. I know all of these things. Does she not think I’ve wondered them all before now? Because I have. Way too many times to count. But I’ve never been able to do anything about it because what would I even say?

I turn to her and frown. “That’s just it, Lily. That’s not how this works.” My voice starts to rise and soon I’m yelling at my only confidante. “WE ARE NOT IN A RELATIONSHIP! Okay! Is that what you want to hear? What do you want me to say, Lily? Do you want me to tell you how it feels to wake up every morning after and feel a little piece of me break in two? Do you want me to tell you about how I get knots in my stomach when I haven’t heard from him in a few days? Do you want to tell you about how I sit there with my phone in my hand, text message written out, ready to send, only to delete the whole thing and pretend I’m completely okay? IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?”

She looks over at me shaking her head sadly, disappointment written over her entire face. “No. I want you to grow a pair of tits and tell him how you feel!”

Her words sound like she’s given up hope on me and it breaks my heart but also infuriates me. I let out a shaky breath on the verge of tears. “You know what? I can’t do this right now. I think you should just leave.”

A sad, watery laugh escapes as she climbs down from the counter, nodding and walks over to me. She wraps her arms around me and hugs me tightly. “I know that you don’t want to hear these things babe, but I say them because I love you. I care about you.” She gives me one last look with what I think is pity for me and then she walks out of the room and out the front door.

The moment I hear the door shut, my legs give out and slip down to the floor. It feels like my chest is collapsing, like I’m having a panic attack and I know the reason is because she’s right. Everything she said is right. I know that I need to tell Niall that I don’t like this thing we have going on between us. I need to tell him that I’m not just some girl he can fuck whenever he’s feeling a bit horny. I should not allow myself to be used this way, but I also know that I’m not going to say any of those things to him. I can’t. I can’t because of all the what if’s. I’m afraid of what will happen if I tell him how I feel.

I am a coward, plain and simple.

I gather myself up and walk back to my bedroom, throwing myself onto my bed. I curl into a tight ball, pulling the blankets over me, creating a cocoon to hide in. I don’t want to think about this for a while. I just want to pretend that my life is simple and easy again. Just for a little while. I actually end up falling asleep and my mind blesses me with a dreamless nap. No Niall. No nothing. My doorbell is what wakes me up and I sit up in my darkened room and wonder how long I’ve been asleep. It seems that the sun has already gone down. I slept the day away and I think I’m okay with that. I pull myself out of bed and stretch before going to answer the door.

When I open it, I find Lily standing on my doorstep with two pints of ice cream in her hands.

“I’m sorry I said all those hateful things to you and made you upset. It’s just that I don’t want to see that asshole break your heart, if one day he decides that he’s had enough of you. I couldn’t bear for that to happen to you. Not my wonderful, beautiful friend.”

Tears spring to my eyes and I lurch forward, wrapping her in my arms and hugging her tightly.

“No. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have told you to leave. It wasn’t nice. You were just telling me the truth and I need to hear it. Please, I don’t want to fight anymore.” I pull her inside and take the ice cream from her. “Is this your peace offering?”

She laughs. “It is. I thought we could drown your sorrows in sugar and chocolate.”

“That sounds perfect to me. I’ll grab the spoons and you find us something stupid to watch on telly.” I say as I head to the kitchen and Lily plops down onto the couch. Just as I pull out two spoons from the drawer, I hear a knock on my door.

Lily jumps up from the couch. “I’ll get it.”

I have no idea who it could be but I am more than surprised when I walk out to find Niall standing just outside my front door. His hands are full, holding a large pizza box, a six pack of beer and what I think might be a movie. Lily is staring daggers into him, but Niall just gives her a nice even if it is a somewhat confused smile. I walk towards them both, my brows furrowed in question before I even speak a word.

“Niall? What are you doing here?”

He gives a simple shrug with a laugh in his voice. “I just thought I’d stop by.” He holds up the pizza box. “I brought dinner. I didn’t know you were busy though.”

I look over at Lily, who is still almost glaring at him. “Oh! It’s okay! This is my friend Lily. Lily, this is Niall.”

Lily nods curtly to him as I take the pizza out of his hands and gesture for him to come in.

“Nice t'meet ya, Lily.” Niall sticks out his now free hand to her.

I watch as Lily reluctantly shakes it with a small scowl on her face. “You too, Niall. I’ve heard a lot about you actually.”

My face burns as I blush at her words. Niall looks over at me with his stupid cocky smirk and then back at Lily. “Well, I hope it was good things.”

Lily only gives him a noncommittal noise as his answer before she turns to me and hugs me.

“I’m gonna go. I’ll let you two…” She looks back and forth between us. “…have your fun.”

I kiss her cheek and promise to call her later. After she closes the door, I turn back to Niall with what feels like a giant smile on my face. “So, pizza and beer, huh?”

Niall nods and walks to my kitchen, making himself at home. He’s been here enough times that he should feel comfortable enough to do this and it makes me weirdly happy that he acts this way. He puts the beer in the fridge and takes the pizza box from my hand,setting it down on the counter. He turns back to me and rests his hands on my waist. “I thought maybe we could eat pizza, drink beer, and watch a movie tonight.”

My heart feels like its swelling in my chest. I’m so stupidly happy about the idea that Niall wanted to just come over and hangout that I feel giddy. I smile one of those little close mouthed I’m-so-excited-I think-I-might-burst smiles and I know my face lights up as I nod. Niall tucks a finger under my chin and presses a soft kiss to my lips. It takes everything I have in me not to melt straight into the floor. This is a version of Niall I’ve only seen glimpses of. This is what I imagine it would be like if he actually had different intentions for me. So right now I am feeling happy and so so confused, but I am not even going to question it. I’m going to enjoy every second of this night.

When he pulls away my eyes are still closed and he chuckles to himself. “Did ya miss me, sunshine?” I don’t know how to even answer the question so I say nothing. Niall smiles to himself and grabs some napkins and the pizza box. “I was thinking about you a lot today. That’s why I decided to come over. I’m sorry if that meant your friend left.”

“It’s okay. She came over unexpectedly too.” I grab two beers and lead the way from the kitchen. I see the ice cream still sitting on the coffee table and I grab it to throw it in the freezer.
Niall calls to me from the couch. “Was everything okay? She didn’t look very happy. I thought for a second she didn’t like me or something.” I’m laughing as I walk back to him and what I was thinking must have been written on my face because he immediately responds. “She doesn’t, does she?”

I’m trying to think of a way to change the subject, but nothing is really coming to mind so I decide to lie. “No, she likes you just fine.”

He watches me as I sit down and I know that he doesn’t believe me. “I think you forget, Harper, that you are a terrible liar.” I take a piece of pizza from the box and I don’t even look at him. “Harper…I know ways of getting information from you. I can think of two that work particularly well for you.”

I side eye glare at him. “No. Do not tickle me.”

He holds up his hands and wiggles his fingers. “Then tell me the truth.”

I drop my shoulders and huff, setting my pizza back down in the process. “Fine. She is not the fondest of you. Okay?”

Niall looks over incredulously at me. “Why not?”

I roll my eyes and he’s looking at me as if he’s never had to deal with someone not liking him before and it’s completely wrecking his mind. I pat him on the shoulder and lean over to kiss his cheek. He’s still looking flabbergasted and I’m starting to think that he really doesn’t think that there is anything wrong with what’s happening between us. I’m not sure if that makes me a tiny bit happier or a whole lot sadder. But I don’t want to ruin tonight because I’m a sucker and I want what little attention I can get from him. “Niall, it’s really not a big deal, okay?” He still looks disgruntled by the whole idea so I try a new tactic. “Do you want me to take your mind off of it?”

That gets his attention and his eyebrows raise disappearing into his soft fringe. “And how would you do that?”

I chuckle as I pull myself from the couch and drop down into the space between his knees. Sometimes men are entirely too easy. I pull the hem of his shirt up so that his stomach is exposed and I lean forward and kiss him softly before looking up into his eyes with a smile. “I can think of one thing that will work pretty well.”

I dip my head back down, tracing my tongue over his skin. I hear an intake of sharp breath when it tickles him slightly and I smile. My fingers go to work unbuttoning his jeans. I can feel his hard on already, its thick shape showing through rough fabric. I rub my hand over it, letting my fingers outline it and I’m rewarded with a soft groan from above me. I love how him just thinking about my mouth on him makes him hard. I dip my fingers into his waistband and tug his pants down as he lifts his hips for me. Everything about Niall turns me on and to tell the truth, doing this might just be one of my favorite things. He makes the most exquisite noises and every time I hear them my whole body feels like it’s on fire. I rake my fingers across the tops of his hairy thighs and watch his muscles twitch underneath them. I start on his left side, bending my head and kissing my way up his thigh. When I reach the top I switch to his right side and make my way back down. My tongue darts out every few inches and leaves tiny wet trails along his skin. I raise myself just slightly as I wrap my hand around his thick base. A tiny pearl sits on his swollen pink head. I feel one of his hands sink into my hair, smoothing it away from my face so that he can watch me as I use the tip of my tongue to swipe it away. His taste is salty and slightly bitter and if it were anyone else I’d hate it, but like I said already everything about Niall turns me on. I lap over his head again, savoring the feeling of his soft velvety skin on my tongue.

I pucker my lips and kiss his head gently, then follow that kiss up with another wetter one as I sink further down his shaft. His fingers curl into my hair, gripping it in his fist and a soft curse falls from his pink lips as I smother the taut veiny skin with sloppy wet kisses. I’m enjoying the feeling of him becoming putty in my hands.

Niall sinks his body further into the couch, his eyes not leaving my mouth and the work it’s doing. “I could watch you kiss me like this all day, every day.” I lock eyes with him as I stick my tongue out and lick a wide strip from his base up to his tip. He groans for me and I know he’s starting to get antsy. I smirk slightly just before wrapping my lips over his head and sinking my mouth down around him. I swirl my tongue over him and bob up and down a few times. Niall moans. “Christ, Harper, your mouth feels like heaven.” I chuckle in the back of my throat and it sends vibrations through him, causing him to suck in a quick breath through his teeth. “Jesus fuck.”

I slowly rise, making sure to roll my tongue around his head before I pop him from my mouth. I wrap my hand fully around his base and begin to pump it slowly up and down on his spit slick skin. “I told you I could take your mind off things.” He uses the hand that’s fisted in my hair to pull me up on my knees. My hand keeps pumping as he kisses me hard and deep. I moan softly into his mouth and let out a shuddery breath when he pulls away. He pecks me one last time before I lower myself back down to my favorite job. I cover him with my mouth again, sinking him all the way in until he taps the back of my throat. Niall’s own hips thrust forward, pushing himself impossibly deeper and I gag slightly on him. The little shit likes to do that every time. I begin bobbing my head up and down in perfect sync with my fist. I twist my wrist with each movement of my hand, overwhelming him with sensations. I hear his breathing getting shallow and I know he’s getting closer and closer to coming. So much attention in the beginning makes him extra sensitive and I love pushing him just to his limit so I slow down and pull him from my mouth. I kiss up and down the sides of his shaft, I place sloppy wet kisses just at the bottom of his head.

“You’re such a goddamn tease.” He says I lick up and down his length while smiling up at him.

“But fucking hell if I don’t love it.”

For some stupid reason the moment I hear the word leave his mouth, my heart starts to race. I know that he isn’t talking about me. I know that he’s only referring to the fact that he likes what I’m doing right now, but that doesn’t change the fact that I’m currently trying my hardest to ease the ache in my chest. It’s not that I love Niall, it’s more that I know that he’s not going to ever love me. The thought burns into my brain and I can’t stand it so instead of losing it completely I use this to turn my attitude completely around. I sit back on my heels taking my hand and my mouth from him. Niall looks down at me, a whine fresh on his lips.

“You think I’m such a tease?” I creep my fingers slowly up his thighs. “I don’t think you’ve ever really seen a tease but, baby, I can show you.”

I gather my hair up and pull it all off to one side so that it drapes over my shoulder and gives him the perfect view of my mouth as I ghost my lips over the tops of his legs and up to his belly. I cover his exposed skin with more sloppy wet kisses, but I am very careful to avoid touching where I know he wants me most. I kiss my way back down painstakingly slow. I pause and trace my tongue over a tiny freckle, letting just the tip grace his skin. I watch as his left hand tries to sneak its way up and wrap itself around his hard cock that is begging for my attention. I watch his movements for only a second before batting his hand away. The next words that come out of my mouth brush over his skin in hot waves causing goose bumps to rise. “No, sir. I don’t think so. You wanted a tease. You got a tease. And if you touch yourself I won’t finish what I started.”

Niall huffs and starts to whine. “Harper…please..”

I smile against his skin and move closer to his cock but still I don’t touch it. “Please what, Niall?”

I kiss my way around his mound of coarse dark hair. I breath in his musky salty scent and I have to stop myself from jumping the gun and deep throating him right then. I press a kiss to his inner thigh and glance up at him. “What’s wrong babe? I thought you liked me being a tease?” This time I nudge his cock with my nose and let my breath fan over it.

Niall whimpers and when I look up at him, his bottom lip is caught so hard between his teeth it’s white instead of pink. His hands are fisted at his sides. I can tell he’s trying so hard not to grab my face and fuck it with everything he has but I still take it a step further.

I wrap my fingers around his thick base, soft at first, but then I slowly grip him tighter. Niall’s breath catches in his chest the moment I touch him. “Say please one more time for me.”

I look up at him, waiting for him to speak, my mouth just inches away from where I know he wants it.

His voice is barely there when he opens his mouth, almost as if he’s afraid of what might come out. “Baby…please…” The moment I hear the sound of the 'Pl’ leave his lips I drop my mouth onto him and slide all the way down. I open my throat wide, sinking him in as deep as I can take him. “Jesus..fuck..Harper..”

Niall’s hand fists into my hair and his hips start to rise and fall, thrusting into my mouth but only just barely. I move my head faster and faster. With all the teasing that went on I know he’s ready to burst at any moment. I pump my hand in sync with my mouth, giving it a slight twist with every movement. Niall’s voice is husky, filled with need. “Oh fuck..” I feel him twitch against my tongue once or twice and I know it’s time. I pump faster before pulling back and flattening my tongue on his smooth head. He groans above me and my eyes find his as I take him over the edge. My mouth fills with the thick hot white spurts of his seed, a drop or two hitting my lips, narrowly missing the mark that is my tongue. When he’s done, I gladly swallow, taking all that he’s given me. I use my finger to swipe up the leftover from my lips and I suck it off, smacking my mouth at the end.

Niall’s face is flushed while he watches me. “You are so incredibly sexy.”

I smirk up at him and pull myself up from the floor. “I know and a goddamn tease.”

I curl up next to him and lean my head on his shoulder. He wraps his arm around me, pulling me closer. “I should fucking hate you.” His voice is deep and raspy but I can hear the bit of laughter behind his words.

I cuddle closer, nuzzling into his neck. “Yes, but you don’t. Not at all.”

He chuckles. “You’re right. I don’t. At all.”

We sit there for a few moments before I hear Niall’s tummy rumble and it makes me giggle.

“You hungry, buddy?” I lean forward and grab the pizza box, pulling out slice for him and one for myself. He tears into it like he hasn’t eaten in days and before I’m even half way done with mine he’s on his second one. I shake my head, standing up and grabbing the movie he’s brought to put it in. I notice it’s an old favorite of mine and his. We’ve each probably seen it a thousand times but that doesn’t stop either of us from laughing our heads off. I’m wide awake for the beginning of the movie, laughing right along side Niall. I catch myself watching him out of the corner of my eye a few times. There is just something about him when he’s all laid back and easy going. He’s got all these little quirks that I get to see up close and I find him fascinating. He’s not nearly as fidgety sitting here on my couch as he is when you see him on camera somewhere. It’s nice to know that he feels comfortable here enough to just relax. With that thought warming my heart I stand up from the couch. Niall’s hand touches the back of my thigh in a silent question. I turn and smile down at him. “I’m gonna go grab you a beer.” He gives my leg a little squeeze and with a smile and a wink he sends me on my way.

When I get back Niall takes the beer from my hand and then pulls me back down onto the couch. He wraps his arm around me and I curl into him like a cat. My head rests against his chest, my body slowly relaxing as I listen to the sound of his breathing. The sounds of his laughter echoing through his chest and his heartbeat thudding at a sweet and steady pace lull me to sleep better than any lullaby ever could and before I know it my eyes drift shut. The last thing I consciously remember is the feeling of his hand tracing patterns on my skin.

I’m not sure how long I was out, but I am awoken by the sound of Niall’s voice. “Let’s get you to bed, sunshine.”

The next thing I know Niall’s strong arms are wrapped around my body and he’s lifting me off the couch and carrying me to my bedroom. My head lolls on his chest. His breath brushes over my face with each exhale. I know I should tell him I’m awake, but I’d rather enjoy this special treatment for a moment longer. I keep my eyes closed and with soft, even breaths I breathe in the scent of him, a mixture of cologne, beer, and the unique smell that is only Niall. He starts to speak again and I almost jump but I catch myself just in time.

“Must be losin’ my touch with you. Not exactly how I saw this night ending.”

The giggle that escapes my lips can’t be stopped and I feel Nial stop dead in his tracks the moment it’s out. I open my eyes and look up into his sad attempt at a serious face.

“How long have you been awake?”

I laugh again in response.

“I should drop your cute little ass right here on the floor.”

I reach up and wrap my arms around his neck. I lick my lips. Being this close to his face makes me just want to kiss him. “Where exactly did you see this night going then?”

Niall continues walking, keeping his eyes locked on mine. He sets me gently down on the bed, my head resting on my pillows. He crawls up, his legs straddling my body and leans down so that his mouth brushes against my ear. His breath sends shivers down my body and he kisses the spot just below my ear. “I wanted the chance to take care of you like you took care of me.”

His kisses drift lower down my neck and into the low slung collar of my loose shirt. His fingers find the waistband of my shorts and start to slowly work them down over my hips, all the while his mouth never stops its ascent of my body. My breathing starts to grow faster with each new touch of his lips. A whiny sigh or two drops from my mouth and I feel Niall smile against my skin. He pushes my shirt up and pulls the cups of my bra down, wrapping his mouth around my nipple and bringing it to a hard point. He kisses lazily over them for a while before his lips drift lower, grazing over my belly button and stopping just at the edge of my simple white panties. My words are shaky when I speak. “No, Niall, you don’t have to do that.”

He presses a kiss onto my mound. I feel the heat of his breath through the thin cotton covering me and a new rush of wetness takes over. I look down and see Niall’s eyes on mine already. “I know I don’t have to do anything.” His fingers dip into to my panties and he pulls them down my legs, tossing them to the floor. He grips both my knees, one in each strong hand and he props them up then pushes them out. He presses a kiss to one thigh and then one to the other before looking back at me. “I want to do this.”

I swallow hard, anticipation building inside me. My body aching for him to touch me. “Well, who am I to stop you from getting what you want.”

Niall chuckles, the sound drifting up from between my legs. He licks a small wet stripe as close as he could get to my center without actually touching it. I can’t help the sound that I make, a cross between a whine and moan and needy as hell. His next words are slightly cocky and his voice is husky with lust. “Trust me, love, you will be glad you didn’t stop me.”

I roll my bottom lip between my teeth. “I always am.”

Niall smirks up at me. “That’s enough talking now. I’ve got something better to do.”

I watch as he sticks out his tongue and licks an agonizingly slow line up my slit. My whole body wants to lift off the bed at the feeling of his tongue on me, but Niall’s big strong hands grip my hips and hold me down. I throw my head back as he plunges his tongue inside me. His nose rubs against my tiny bundle of nerves sending shockwaves of pleasure through my lower body.

My hands grip my own breasts, rolling my nipples between my fingers. Niall’s tongue laps up my slit and his lips takes the place of his nose against my nub, wrapping around it and sucking gently.

Shuddering breaths leaves my lungs, followed by muttered curses. “Oh god…fuck me…”

One of Nialls’ hands let go of my hips and he slips two thick fingers inside me. The feeling of them filling me is almost as good as when his hard length fills me. My hips buck up slightly and his fingers curl up to tap the soft, fleshy spot on my front wall. My body clenches around him as he starts to pump in and out in a steady rhythm. His tongue draws random patterns over my nub until he hits just the spot and I let out a soft scream. Over and over again, he repeats himself on that same spot. I can feel my body growing hotter with each stroke of his tongue and his plunge of his fingers. My hands curl into his hair and I push myself up into his face as if I could get any closer. My orgasm is building in my belly like a rolling thunderstorm ready to drop a torrential downpour. It’s just waiting for the perfect moment. When Niall slips his third finger into me and pushes in as deep as he can go it happens. The flood gates open and I come like I’ve never come before. It surges through me, ripping through my body. Niall sucks and licks, lapping up everything I give him while my screams echo off the walls. As my high starts to subside, my body starts to relax. I twitch one last time when Niall pulls his fingers out and sucks them clean. I watch as he crawls his way back up my body, kissing and nipping at my skin along the way. When he reaches my face, he kisses me deeply and I can taste myself on his lips. I wrap my arms around his neck and hold him there for a moment longer, savoring this feeling, knowing that he will leave me soon.

When he pulls back, he smiles a sweet lopsided grin at me. “Hi. Was I right? Are you glad?”

I chuckle a tired satiated laugh. “Glad just doesn’t cut how I feel right now. Niall, you are just SO good at that.”

He laughs, lying beside me. “I guess we both have the same kind of special skill then.”

I sigh still enjoying the heavy feeling of my post orgasm body. “Nah, you’re way better.”

Niall scoffs next to me. “I don’t even come close to you, sunshine.”

Niall pulls his shirt over his head and tosses it to the floor. His pants join it shortly after and pulls the blankets back, sliding us both beneath them. We talk for a minute or two more in hushed sleepy tones, until I can barely keep my eyes open. I roll over and curl into Niall’s chest and he wraps a solid arm around me. His breathing gets slower, his chest rising and falling in even breaths. I close my eyes and hear him mumble in a sleepy voice.

“Great night…”

I answer him, my voice soft and quiet as sleep starts to take me over. “The greatest…”

When I wake up the next morning I already know Niall is gone. I can just feel it before I even open my eyes. I don’t even really want to open my eyes. Not after the night we had last night. I wanted this morning to be different, even though I knew that it wouldn’t be. I just hoped and wished I would wake up with him still here. I finally open them slowly and my heart sinks in my chest.

Yup.

He’s gone.

Just like always.

And just like always, it hurts like hell.

I sit up and rub the sleep from my face, determined not to cry because I know deep down that it’s pointless to shed tears over this man. Something catches my eye, though, a flash of white on my bedside table. I look over and I see a small scrap of paper lying there. I quickly reach over and grab it, blinking my eyes a few times until the words are intelligible to me. It’s a receipt and from the looks of it it came from Niall’s wallet. I turn it over and there, scrawled on the blank side in his messy handwriting is a short note. My heart leaps into my chest and a giant smile covers my face as I read his words.

'I didn’t want to leave your bed this morning, but I had dumb work stuff to do. Really was a great night though, sunshine. - Niall’

I press the small piece of paper to my chest, grinning like an idiot. Because of this stupid tiny piece of paper, I don’t care what happens today. No matter what it is going to be a great day.

Notes