Valerie’s POV

I can’t help but to think this is our last Friday at work. Louis is also down as I can tell since we are in a hug mood today. Luckily, we don’t have much to shoot and we are shooting the end which we have rehearsed a thousand times so we got it. I see Louis in his Clyde costume and know I’m into Bonnie’s character when I start walking around smiling at everyone. When I see Clyde he smiles at me. We are ready to shoot.

-Okay. We are filming the after sex scene. You guys ready?

The camera crew nods and we hear the director’s Action! Clyde starts talking.

-So Bonnie, how are you feeling? Are you feeling good? – Clyde asks me nervous.

-I’m feeling marvellous! – I say smiling with that after sex happiness.

-But marvellous like after....? – Clyde asks running his hand through his hair.

I prop myself up on my elbows in our bed and get closer to him, rubbing his back and pecking his lips.

-Clyde, calm down, you did it perfectly. – I assure him and he smiles widely before kissing my lips.

He lays me down in the bed and then he hugs me tight.

-Clyde.

-Tell me, Bonnie. – He says foolishly.

-If a miracle happened tomorrow and we weren’t wanted and no one was chasing us and you could start all over again clean with no regrets and nobody after us, what would you do?

I look at him smiling as a little kid and find him looking at the ceiling and he chuckles. Then he props himself up on his elbow and looks at me smiling.

-I would court you until you fall in love with me and I would ask your father his permission to marry you.

I stare at Clyde feeling so damn stupid and smile widely at him. We hug each other happily on the bed until we hear the cut!

Right after that, we film the scene where Clyde asks Bonnie to marry him. To be honest this is one of my favourite scenes of the movie.

-Bonnie, my dear, would you read the newspaper for me? – Clyde asks me while we are having breakfast.

-Of course, my love. – I take the newspaper and start to read the news. – “Man shot twice in second Millville shooting in 24 hours. A man was shot twice in the chest outside a Millville residence on the 400 block of Broad Street, police said.”

-Marry me, Bonnie.

-The shooting took place around...What? – I look at him forgetting everything about the news.

-Marry me. – Clyde says smiling like a fool at me.

-What are you talking about? Are you crazy? – I ask him laughing.

He chuckles but stands up from the table and looks happily at me.

-I’m serious, Bonnie. I love you and I know you are the one, I want to enjoy the rest of my life with you and I want everyone to know that you are mine and I’m yours. – Clyde gets down on his knees – I’m deeply foolishly and madly in love with you, Bonnie. Will you, Bonnie Parker, give me the honour of marrying me?

-Yes – I jump from my chair – yes, yes, yes!

We kiss each other smiling happily and hug each other tight laughing because of the endless bliss of a couple who just got engaged.

-Sweet, guys! Take a break and we are going for the end and then you guys are free! After this scene, take a deserved rest this weekend because next week is going to be exhausting and a bit more boring. Reshooting, signing documents, making sure you are happy with the scenes and then you are free until the movie is ready. Just for the record, I’m so happy I have gotten to work with you guys. Valerie you were as brilliant as we expected and you, Tomlinson, you were a brand new discovery, you are a natural, man!

We have a melancholic dinner being all melodramatic about this. It is even funny so we end up laughing at our exaggeration of the situation. How much of actors we are!

We are shooting again at 7:30 pm as the director wanted the sunset as a background.

Clyde and Bonnie are driving on the car sharing an apple by a lonely road when we see our friend Stuart stopped by with his van. Clyde stops and gets out of the car to go greet Stuart and I change my seat from the passenger’s to the driver’s. Clyde talks to Stuart while I finish our apple and then we all listen something moving in the bushes. They guess it is some animal and so they keep on talking but then I see Stuart glancing at the bush and getting a pale face. Stuart hides under his van and Clyde looks at me with eyes wide open, terrified. I look at him terrified too and then tens of shots are heard. I scream as loud as I could possibly scream utterly scared. Clyde and I are both shot several times and our clothes are full of blood. Clyde falls to the ground right opposite the car and I lay my "unconscious" body on the driver’s seat, my hair covering my face and the apple falling to the ground.

-BRILLIANT YOU GUYS! – Our director shouts excited. – THIS IS GOING TO BE HUGE!

Everyone in the crew applauds and congrats us, cheering us up and Louis and I thank everyone. To me, it’s not only Bonnie and Clyde who are going to be done this week and only the thought of Harry and I saying goodbye prevents me from breathing.

Speaking of Harry, he hasn’t told me not once that he loves me and if it didn’t matter to me before, it is starting to hurt me. I have fallen foolishly in love with him and I though he loved me back. Stupid of me to think that, I guess.

He has been so caring and affectionate with me though. We are two lovebirds as everyone else says and Sandra reminds me every night I have gotten it bad. I know how bad I have gotten it and that’s why I fear so much next Tuesday. I don’t want him to go and I don’t want to let this go but then again, even though he suggested trying to maintain a relationship through the Atlantic Ocean, I know it is not going to work. I’ll be too busy with the new project and he will be touring all around. I bet we don’t see each other not even once in at least three months. How is that relationship going to work?

If it was a matter of love, I’m sure I’ll do it because I have seriously fallen head over heels for him. However, it is not a matter of love and, if this were not enough, I don’t even know what he feels towards me. Jesus Christ, I just want to fall asleep in his bed tonight again.

Sandy and I are having some people over tonight, including the lads and El, Sophia and Louise. I’m so excited Eleanor has come for this last week, knowing that I have found another good friend in her. I’m excited of having this many nice people around and I know I’ll have Harry for me tonight.

I’ve been busy this last week with the new project Ella. I have definitely confirmed I’m working with them and I called Jim Sheridan on Tuesday when Cara was over with Sandra and me. We talked for half an hour and I allowed myself to fan girl which I never do when I’m talking to a director. It’s not like I could hide it anyway, especially when Jim told me he wrote the character Ella for me since the first minute. He said he saw me in the London theatre playing Rosalind from As you like it by Shakespeare and that “he fell professionally in love with me”. Then he watched my movies and eventually he saw Romeo and Juliet where I’m Juliet and Douglas is Romeo. That’s why he wanted Douglas and I together on the screen again. I couldn’t believe a thing of that. Thinking about that reminds me of Douglas’ call on Wednesday.

*Flashback*

I’m drying myself after the shower when my phone rings. I hope it’s Harry and go to pick the phone smiling like an idiot. I haven’t spent any time alone with him since last Thursday and I miss him desperately. When I see the number that is calling me I freeze and stay still looking at the screen. I’m sure is Doug even if the caller ID doesn’t recognize it because I deleted his number. I can’t even pick up the phone and the calls fades. I keep on looking at the screen as an idiot when he calls again and this time I pick up the phone.

-Hey, it’s Valerie Veneel.

-Hello, Valerie. It’s Doug. – He says stern.

It’s the first time in six months I listen to his voice and so many things move inside me as soon as I hear him. Somehow it feels like nothing has changed and that I’m shooting my first movie here in LA and he is back in England talking to me by the phone as every night.

-How are you? – His thick accent reminds me of so many things.

-I’m fine, thanks. How are you? – This is awkward even if we fix things six months ago leaving things as friends.

-I’m sorry I didn’t get closer to you to say hi at the airport a few weeks ago. You were beautiful.

What?

-It’s alright. I didn’t either so... It’s just fair, I guess. What do you want anyway?

I don’t know if that was rude or not but I literally don’t care. I’m mad at him because of the effect he's still got on me.

-Fair enough. First of all, congratulations on your nomination to MTV Best Female Performance for Live for me, you deserve to win. You were amazing as usual.

-What? Am I nominated? – I can’t believe it. Roger hasn’t told me a thing. Doug laughs and my heart breaks a little at all the memories his laughter brings to my mouth.

-Yes, you are, Valerie. I see you haven’t changed, which is great news.

-Oh, geez, that’s great, Doug. Thanks for telling me! I’m so happy right now.

-I’m glad you are. Well, the real reason of my calling is... You know we are now both offered a main roll in this new Jim Sheridan’s movie and... I know how much you admire him and how important this must be for you and... Since we play lovers it might be uncomfortable for you and I understand it but I don’t want you to decline this opportunity because you don’t want to see me or work with me again so if you are uncomfortable with me playing Daniel – he sighs – you just have to tell me and I’ll say I can’t take the job.

What? Is he willing to decline such an amazing opportunity because of my possible discomfort? I mean he hurt me and I told him I didn’t want to see him again but for fuck’s sake we are adults. We are mature people and we can take this and work with each other. We are actors, for fuck’s sake.

-Douglas, I’m so glad you think of me that way and that you consider my comfort at work but we are adults, aren’t we? I can work with you and... Listen, I know I told you I never wanted to see you again but it was because you hurt me and I felt betrayed and stupid. It is now seven months since we broke up though and I’m over it. For god’s sake I have lived the best moments of my life with you and you have been the most important thing for me for years, these kinds of things don’t change because someone makes a mistake. You were right, we barely saw each other and I was at work pretty much all the time so I couldn’t keep up with a relationship. I understand – I don’t but, you know, - so don’t worry, everything is fine over here. I’ll see you in two weeks, movie partner.

-I can’t wait to see you, Valerie Veneel.

*End of the flashback*

As I get into my car I remember I hanged up with my heart on my sleeve and a lump in my throat when I talked to Doug. I didn’t cry though because I am really over it. I don’t know when or where but somehow I forgot about Douglas and about everything I felt for him. That’s when Harry comes into the picture. I think I forgot about Douglas when my heart was filled with what I feel for Harry. So I have proven to myself I can fall in love again and that’s everything that I needed.

Sandra was so happy I felt that way towards Douglas. I remember how mad at him she was when he cheated on me and I remember how we both cried on the kitchen floor of her London house when everything between Doug and me was over. I know she was as sure as I was myself that Doug was the one for me and she is such a believer in love. She believed in us just as much as I did. However, Douglas was her best male friend and she missed him. They talked a few weeks after our break up and she fix things with him. She even tried to make me talk to him and even forgive him; I wouldn’t. I know she missed our old life even if she doesn’t say it to me. Were we happier? We were more down to earth, that’s for sure.

I can’t believe Another’s arms by Coldplay is on replay. I get home feeling weird. I don’t know what’s going on with me right now but I need to drink and get this feeling out of my chest. I’m feeling like I messed up again, like my life is worse now when I know it is not, it is just different. Professionally, it is better actually since I’m way more successful but then again, is this what I want? Back in London, I wasn’t an international actress but I worked in the Theatre and was an actress of live performances and people who really love theatre know me and that was enough for me. I remember I was way more related to pure art than I am now. I would go to art exhibitions quite often and I'd go to private concerts of small unknown and great bands but... Now everything is different.

As I get out of the car and enter the house I see Sandy is dancing around placing some coasters around like if people were going to use it. She is as innocent as sweet. She looks nice in my clothes. She steals things from my wardrobe every now and then even when she is skinnier than me.

-You better get ready, Bonnie.

Alright, I still have Bonnie’s hair. I have a shower and put on my high waist black shorts and my wide white floral off the shoulder crop top and my black sandals. I’m most likely going to end up barefoot anyway.

Notes