When He Holds Your Hand

It had only been two nights but walking into my own house felt strange. The days had gone too quick, and I'd woken up with the lead weight in my stomach knowing I was going to have to say goodbye to Harry for God knows how long.
Throwing my lingerie filled hold-all into the small utility room to be washed and hid before Will got home, my wrists protested and I was struck with a flashback.
As Harry had promised, I had spent our last night tied to the bed with the cream rope curtain tie-backs. I'd wrapped my hands around the over sized tassels while Harry teased and explored my body with his mouth and hands until I begged him to give me some sort of release. He'd get me to the point where a climax was in sight then suddenly stop to focus on somewhere else.
"Harry, please." His tongue ran across his bottom lip as he smirked up at me, amused by the building frustration in my voice, "baby, please!" My hips lifted up off the bed but he slammed them back down and shook his head.
"Don't think so", Harry laughed at my loud, protesting whine and went back to kissing his way up my inner thigh.
"Tea!" I announced to myself suddenly, knowing that if I got too caught up in the memories I'd be useless for the rest of the day and I knew that keeping busy was going to be the only way to suppress the anxiety that was bubbling away at my core.
I made a mug of tea even though I didn't usually drink it, and sat on the sofa in complete silence. I could still smell Harry's scent on me, and I was grateful that because Will was away I didn't have to rush upstairs and scrub any trace of Harry off my body. The ability to sit and realise that the anxiety was because I missed him before we even got out of bed that morning was a luxury I wasn't usually allowed.
I drank my tea then set about trying to distract myself. I did some laundry then I hoovered and contemplated seeing if Rose wanted to come over for Chinese food, and I'd come clean about the affair rekindling.
Picking up my phone to text her I saw a missed call from Harry, and was about to text him a single question mark when he rang again.
"Don't be angry," he started, making me instantly prepared to be angry, "but I'm outside."
Momentarily, I wondered if my nervousness all day had been down to the intuition of knowing that Harry was going to pull a stupid stunt. I might have been less pissed off if he hadn't said only six hours previously as we'd been saying goodbye, "I meant what I said about playing by your rules, Lil, I promise."
So now, with him calling me from outside, I had half a mind to tell him to fuck off and never darken my doorstep again.
But.
I was glad he was here. I hadn't been ready to say goodbye and it made me happy to think he wasn't ready either.
"Layla?"
"Ok, give me a sec."
Forgetting I was wearing leggings with a hole in the crotch and a t-shirt which said 'Jesus is coming- look busy' I ran to let Harry in. He emerged from his blacked out Range Rover and sprinted up the steps, pushed me into the house, and shut the door before he could be seen.
"Were you followed?" It was a worry I couldn't ignore when Harry came to the house, especially if Will wasn't home. I didn't have to be seen but if my house was in any paparazzi photos, Will would know.
"No," Harry shook his head and looked nervous, waiting for me to tell him off. "I'm just extra cautious when I visit you."
"Not cautious enough to not come?" I rolled my eyes and shook my head playfully.
"What can I say? I like to live dangerously", he shrugged, then looked me up and down. "Sexy."
"I'm sorry to shatter the illusion, Harry, but I don't live my life in stockings, heels and push up bras." Going to walk past toward the kitchen, he grabbed my arm and stopped me.
"Hey!" Pulling me into his arms, he kissed my lips softly. "I'll go if you want?"
"No." That was the last thing I wanted but I wasn't one to reward bad behaviour. "But I'm pissed off with you."
Wriggling free from his hold I headed to the kitchen to fix myself the large drink I suddenly needed.
It was still fairly warm and sunny so we took advantage of actually being able to go outside and went to sit in the garden, sharing one of the large rattan sofas on the deck. He didn't say anything, waiting for me to be less annoyed, and I gave him credit for reading me right.
"I suppose if you're drinking but you have your car that you're planning on staying?" I asked once the silence got too much and I realised he was on his second glass.
"Only if you want me to." Topping up my glass he avoided my eye contact and moved his knee so it touched mine. "I can stay in the spare room or on the sofa."
"I'm sure the back of your car is comfy." I smiled and sipped my almost over flowing drink while this time it was my turn to avoid his eye contact.
"I never knew you could be so heartless." Harry's hand crept onto my knee and slid up my inner thigh stopping dangerously close to the hole in my leggings. I knew him well enough that his fingers would be through that hole and into my knickers in seconds. Not a bad thing, and it wouldn't be the first time he'd done it, but not something I was keen to have happen in my back garden.
"I let you in and gave you wine, didn't I? Hardly heartless. I may even cook for you!" I smiled sweetly and moved his hand away but keeping hold of it, linking my fingers with his. "I suppose you can stay."
Triumphant Harry clinked his glass against mine, "Three whole nights together, perfect." Keeping each others gaze we took a drink. "Cook for me?"
"Yeah, that's not actually going to happen but I'll order us take-out to say thank you for a lovely birthday." Noticing that he looked sort of disappointed, I added, "If I'd have known you were coming..."
"You'd have baked a cake?" he grinned.
"No, smart arse! I'd have gone to the supermarket, however. All I have in my fridge is wine, half a jar of sauerkraut and some pesto. Not exactly gourmet meal ingredients." Harry nodded in agreement. "But next time Will is away I'll cook for you."
Satisfied with my answer, he smiled and began listing his favourite foods until both our stomachs began to rumble.

Notes