Crossed (On Hold)
Cries
Hannah pulled up to my apartment. The rain started to pour down heavier. She opened the trunk as I got out of her car. I went to pull out my shopping bags when I saw Harry. He started walking down the steps from the entrance. I ignored him and continued to collect my things. He got closer and I shut the top. I walk over to Hannah's window to thank her, with Harry following behind. "Thanks Han, I'll text you la-" "No you won't! Now get inside." Harry grabbed me by the arm and looked deep into my eyes. I was scared he was going to hurt me right in front of Hannah. I didn't know what facial expression I had, but it made Harry angry. He pulled my arm again, dragging me to the door. "Remember what I said, Ramona," Hannah yelled, as she drove off. That sentence reminded me of my sister.
I was pulled inside when Harry let go. I had red marks on my wrist. Damn. I fixed my skirt and and followed him. He was stomping down the hall to the elevator. We got inside and waited quietly until we reached the fifth floor. Harry's face was red and his eyebrows shot down. I looked at him staring straight ahead. His arms were kept close to his body. I looked down at his fists. He kept squeezing and readjusting them, fighting the urge to touch me. I looked back forward and induced into my thoughts.
Why was Harry so mad when I got home? He never cares about where I go. Wait, why was he waiting by the door? Did he know I was close? Or was he expecting me for a long time? So many questions filled my head. We reached the top and to metal doors opened to a woman and her child. Instantly, I saw Harry's face soften and he smiled at the little girl. She giggled and held her mothers hand. We exited the elevator and I saw Harry's hands were loose his arms bounced from his sides. Did that little girl really just change his mood? Was he reconsidering what he'd do to me?
We walked down the hallway. Our place was at the very end. I looked at Harry. His face was calm and his body was relaxed. I reached down for his hand and he squeezed it tight. But not tight enough to hurt me. He looked at me and gave me a weak smile. I turned back facing our door. The blue ceramic sun became brighter as we came closer. I had no idea what was going on, but it was good. Harry never holds my hand. Maybe he was too scared before. Maybe he wanted to just now. What if I never put my hand near his. Maybe he'd still be angry. I was starting to think that maybe Harry just needed some love. What was I thinking? Of course he needed love. We hadn't had sex in months and I haven't even kissed him in weeks. I felt bad for him. I was supposed to love him, take care of him, smile at him, and I wasn't even looking at him. What kind of person am I?
He unlockes the door and the blue sun's bells jingle. He keeps the door open for me. After I walk in he shuts the door and locks it. I turn around and push him against the door. By his look, I guess he was surprised. And that was my goal. "Harry," I whisper, "I'm sorry babe. I know I haven't been at all, any good to you. And I'm sorry." I see his face soften again. His eyes were big. I looked away from him. It was hurting me. Harry softly grabbed my hands and stood from leaning on the door. He led me to the couch where I sat, staring out the open window. I tell he was just looking at me. I haven't sat next to him like this in so long. I missed his presence. Yes, we live in the same house, sleep in the same bed, drive in the same car, but we just weren't 'there' with eachother.
"Ricky. I am sorry too. I hurt you so much. I still don't know why you stay here." Ricky. The nickname he gave me when we were kids. No one else called me that until he introduced me with that name. My friends picked up on it after a while. It was what brought us so close. Still staring at the clouds I say, "Becasue I love you. That's why." I could feel my eyes water as we sat in silence. I felt so bad for Harry. I was supposed to be there for him. I betrayed him. I left him.
I felt the first tear fall. Then another. And another. All of the sudden, tears just shot from my eyes. I kept staring at the stupid clouds, watching rain finally fall in buckets. Why today? Why not yesterday we could've fixed things. Why not months and months ago? Why did I have to tell him to stop? I heard noises escaping my mouth and I covered my face with my hands. I fell into Harry's lap as he wrapped his arms around me. After forever, I felt his touch. I felt his warmth. I felt his love. That's all I needed. His love. "Harry, I'm so, so sorry. I don't know why but, but, but I just needed more. I, I didn't know how to, to ask," I cried out. He rubbed my back as I layer in his arms, crying my heart out.
"I know," he started, "I know. And I've seen you breaking." His voices started to crack. Was he going to cry? "And I know you feel bad for me, but, but I did things to you too that I, I wish I never did. I always wanted for you to be happy. Now I'm making it happen. I can't bare to see you upset anymore, Ramona. the pain needs," he stopped. I could hear so much sadness in his voice. Harry made a sighing noise and I felt a tear drop fall on my cheek. I made him cry. Before I could say anything he spoke. "It needs to end here. I love you so much and I cannot, I will not lose you. I can't." I stopped crying and looked up at Harry. This time he was looking into the sky. I looked out aswell. I saw the clouds move. To my surprise, the clouds opened a little hole. Out came a streak of sunlight, blasting onto the fields.
I woke up to the sun shining in my eyes. I opened them and instantly closed them. Morning sun always shines through my bedroom window. I keep my eyes closed as I turn to the other side of my room. Squinting, I can see Harry has gotten up. He sits on the bed with his legs over the side. His back is hunched as if his face is in his hands. "Harry," I speak with my groggy voice,"Are you alright?" I sit up on my elbows, still squinting my eyes. Why is it so bright? Harry lifts his head, keeping it towards the wall. Something is missing. I sit up and pull the cover off of my legs. It's so hot and too bright. I realize the picture of us on the wall is gone. Confused, I tap on Harry's shoulder. He doesn't move. "Harry," I yell, "Look at me!" His head slowly turns on his neck. It turns all the way and I see, the eyes. What? His neck should've been broken. I slowly back off the bed as Harry's eyes turn red. They stare straight into my soul. What in the hell is going on?
I step off the bed slowly with one foot and feel something rough. I look down at a huge rock. Harry starts to smile, making me feel uneasy. I get off the bed and turn around. I'm on the edge of cliff. I try to look down and almost loose my balance. I can't believe what's going on. I turn back around and see my room has disappeared. Instead of my bed, I see an ocean. An ocean on the top of a cliff? I start to walk towards the water. My feet hit the sand, a relief from the rocks. I continue to the water. There is a noise. it sounds like a cry. I keep walking towards the waves and the sound gets louder. Someone or something needs help. I start to realize that I can't stop myself from going to the water. As I start to walk in the water, I stop. I hear the cry right behind my head. scared to turn around, I stare at the sky. Clouds come, making it dark, then leave before it rains. This keeps happening over and over.
The cry gets louder and louder until I can no longer hear the waves. I start to cry. Why is this happening to me? I feel the pain of whoever is crying. I feel the struggles. I feel the pain. It becomes too much to handle. It needs to stop. I hear it in my left ears like a ringing noise, never going away. All of the sudden, I feel someone breathing on my neck. "I'm sorry," it whispers. Somehow I can hear it over the intense screaming. "I'm sorry," it repeats louder. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." I'm so angry. Why is it sorry? It did t do anything to be sorry for. It doesn't deserve this. "IM SORRY!" It screams loud in my ear. I can't turn. My body is stuck. I can see water rising up to my knees. The sun shines bright in my eyes. The water gets cold. As it reaches my waist I hear the being whisper to me once more. "Harry, she doesn't deserve you." What? "You're right, she's nothing to me," I hear Harry say. Still, I can't move. I start to cry. Harry doesn't love me? "Turn," it whispers in my ear. Finally I can move and I raise my hand to the level of water. My shoulders. I slowly turn. The water feels like cement. I finally reach to behind me. Nothing is there. Suddenly, I see a woman's face so close to mine, I could only see her eyes. So red, I could see hell rig through her. I can look away. I start to scream and hear the cries again. Only this time, it coming from me.
I jump up. "Ramona," Harry screams,"What's happening? What's wrong?" I look around me, frantically. I see my bed below me. The windows next to me, they show only stars. Above me, the lights are off. And Harry sits up next to me. His eyes are dark green, showing fright. I'm awake. "Ramona, are you okay?" Harry grabs my hand but I pull away fast. Was I just dreaming? I feel my face a wipe off tears. My throat hurts as if I've been screaming and crying. Have I?
I look back at Harry. "What did do?" I say, as I move closer to him. He sighs at relief. "You were screaming bloody murder. I thought you were being attacked. Are you okay?" He asks, checking my head with his back hand. "Babe, you're really warm. Do you feel alright?" I push away his hand and get up from the bed. I make my way around the bed and to the door. "Rick, answer me," Harry yells at me as I walk down the hall to the bathroom. What just happened?
*Melanie*
I sat on my bed. The stars shine through my window. So many thoughts racing through my head. I can't believe I did it. All my work had paid off. For 5 years I've been trying to bring our people from parallel worlds here. I finally turn to her. She has wrinkles and blonde hair. "So," I say, "when is she due?" "August first," she says, as she rubs her stomach. It's so big. "Well," I say, looking ask out the window. "I guess I'll be a good mom.
Notes
So I didn't update last night. Sorry. But I'll update later. Please rate and sub!
xxx
