Dear Alice

THREE days in New York City was not nearly enough, but while the boys were busy interviewing and making guest appearances, Katie had taken Alice to see all the sights they could fit in to a few hours each day; they had gone to the top of the Empire State Building, paid their respects at the 9/11 memorial and even caught the Staten Island Ferry to get a few photographs as they passed by the Statue of Liberty.
By the time they were all packed to leave New York and head to Los Angeles, Alice was exhausted, and it showed.
“Are you okay, baby?” Harry looked over his shoulder at Alice as they boarded the private flight at JFK airport. Taking her hand in his as he led the way through luxurious jet, he couldn’t help but notice the dark circles beneath her eyes, her pale lips and how out of breath she was, just from climbing the stairs on to the aircraft.
Covering her mouth to cough, she looked up at him, managing a smile as she nodded.
The flight attendant plastered a bright smile across her face at the sight of Harry, waving her hand out and directing them to the two empty seats, facing Liam and Katie. Harry nodded at her, moving aside and helping Alice in to the window seat, watching her with a concerned expression on his face.
Alice sat, sinking in to the plush leather seat, closing her eyes for a moment and taking a few deep breaths in through her nose, as Harry placed her rucksack in to the overhead compartment. Taking a moment to look around, she was in awe of her lavish surroundings, feeling like complete rock star royalty in a private jet. She smiled across at Katie who was almost falling asleep on Liam’s shoulder while he was talking to someone on his mobile phone, Niall was fast asleep in a chair on the other side, taking up both seats, with his sock covered feet resting on the empty chair beside him, and Louis was sat with one of the boys’ minders, laughing and talking quietly.
Looking out the small window, Alice watched as they ground crew did all the mandatory safety checks, running around on the wet tarmac, as rain poured down from the heavy looming clouds.
“Here you are, love…” Harry slid in to the seat beside her, handing her a bottle of spring water.
“Thank you.” She smiled, taking the bottle he had already undone for her.
“I hope you aren’t getting sick,” He reached up, brushing the pad of his calloused thumb over her bottom lip.
She shivered from his touch, enamoured at how such a simple gesture had such an effect on her. She leaned in to his touch as he moved closer, placing a soft kiss to her temple. Louis leaned across the aisle, a comical smirk taking over his face, catching Alice’s attention. Harry turned to see what she was looking at and he rolled his eye at his mate.
“If you two are planning on joining the mile high club, I suggest you do it as soon as the seatbelt lights go off,” He looked serious as he glanced over toward Niall, conspiratorially, “He had Mexican before we left the hotel… if you catch my drift?”
Alice stifled a laugh with her hand and Harry stared in disgust as Louis shrugged, nonchalantly.


SOMEWHERE 30,000 feet over Kansas, Alice woke with a jolt, heart racing and her skin damp and clammy. Looking around the aircraft, she noticed that everyone was sound asleep. The cabin lights were dim and the only sound was coming from the gentle hum of the engines. Trying hard not to make too much noise, she started to panic when it felt like her chest was trying to cave in on her heart. Harry was snoring gently in his seat with his Green Bay Packers beanie pulled down over his eyes, and as she stood to move over him, she accidently kneed his thigh. He stirred, moving in his seat, before resting his head against the other side and murmuring something to himself before snoring again.
Clutching at her chest, she tried not to make a sound as she reached up in to the overhead locker to retrieve her bag, finally managing to pull it down, she hurried up the aisle, toward the toilet, careful not to knock Niall’s head, as she passed by him.
Once inside the safety of the bathroom, she locked the door, almost collapsing against the vanity countertop. Wheezing, it felt as if she couldn’t get enough air into her lungs, gasping and coughing as she rifled through her rucksack. Tears fell from her eyes, her fingers trembling as she found her medication, she opened the bottle of pills and poured two into her hand. Leaning forward to the tap, she swallowed the tablets, gulping water from the faucet and splashing some on to her face at the same time.
She fell to the floor in a heap, pulling her knees up to her chest and breathing as steadily as she could manage; deep breath, hold, release, and repeat. She closed her eyes as the pain in her chest slowly began to dissipate with every breath she was managing to get in to her lungs.
Wiping her damp face with her shirtsleeve, she closed her eyes as fresh tears escaped, hitting her cheeks, leaning her head back against the toilet seat.
Standing to her unsteady feet, she closed her eyes again, taking a moment to balance herself, trying hard to blink away the dizziness clouding her head, when a knock on the door made her freeze.
“Alice, are you alright in there?” Katie’s voice called through the door.
Panicking, Alice took a moment to look at her reflection; her face was almost a shade of grey, her eyes the palest of blue and her lips were completely void of any colour. She wiped her hand over her forehead, smoothing away the hair that was stuck to her damp skin.
“Yeah, I’m fine…” She finally managed to respond, trying so hard not to sound as choked up as she felt.
“Do you need me to get Harry?” Katie’s asked again.
God, shut up, Katie… She was so kind, but she was really going to cause a mid-flight scene, if she didn’t keep her voice down. Alice closed her eyes, inwardly groaning, before quietly unlocking the door and sliding it open.
“Alice?” Katie’s face appeared in the slight opening, “Oh my god, Alice, what the hell,”
Before she could finish her sentence and make more noise, Alice quickly pulled her in to the bathroom, closing and locking the door behind them.
Katie watched as she slumped forward on the counter, hunching over and taking in quick breaths. She didn’t know what was wrong with her, but when her eyes found the pill bottle on the vanity, she started to worry, gently placing a hand on her friends back, “Are you unwell?”
Glancing up and catching Katie’s eyes in the mirror, Alice managed a smile, shaking her head once as she continued to try and control her breathing, “Anxiety…” She gasped between breaths.
“Is there anything I can do?” Katie asked, obviously concerned; she had witnessed an anxiety attack before, but Alice was on another level, her lips were almost turning blue.
“Can… can you get my puffer… from my handbag… under my…. seat?” She closed her eyes, grasping at her chest again, when it felt as if her heart might burst out.
“Okay, and I’ll get Harry!” Katie headed for the door.
“No!” Catching hold of her hand, Alice looked pleadingly at her, “Please, don’t tell him!”
Katie studied her face, her blue eyes full of desperation. She wasn’t sure why, but she knew there was something more to what was going on and it frightened her, but at the same time, she didn’t want to go against her wishes. Offering her one last look, she nodded before hurrying out of the bathroom and back through the cabin toward Alice’s seat. Carefully reaching down, she pulled at the strap of the Louis Vuitton tote bag, the same one the girls had each bought in New York, when the boys insisted they buy themselves something nice, on them, after they had to cancel lunch plans.
“What are you doing?” Harry stirred, startled to see Katie crouched by his feet, reaching for Alice’s handbag.
“Just getting something for Alice,” Katie whispered.
Looking to his left, he jumped up, realising Alice wasn’t in her seat, “Where is she?”
“She’s in the loo…” Katie answered, picking up the handbag and standing back on her feet.
“What are you doing with that?” Harry asked, looking around nervously, “What does she need?”
“Relax,” Katie hissed, “It’s just… girls stuff!” She lied, hating herself for it.
“Oh…” His eyes met the floor for a moment, “Is everything okay?”
“Yes,” She managed a laugh although she knew nothing was funny as she turned back toward the bathroom.
Harry sat back in his seat, cracking his knuckles, hoping that his girl was alright; he knew she looked unwell and he hated that she was sick or in pain. Although it was obvious what was wrong probably wasn’t something he should involve himself with, he looked around, noticing everyone still asleep and, getting up from his chair, he moved through down aisle and headed back toward the bathroom.
“Love, are you okay in there?” He rapped his knuckles lightly over the door.
“Harry?” Alice asked.
“I told you she’s fine!” Katie quickly hissed.
He wondered why Katie was even still in there; he knew girls went to the bathroom together, but surely not in the same cubical. Confused, he moved off to the side and waited, nodding curtly at the flight attendant as she walked by on her way to the flight deck. Finally, he heard the toilet flush and movement from inside before the door unlocked and slid open. He watched Katie walk out, offering him a nervous glance, he couldn’t quite comprehend the meaning behind, before Alice stepped out. She looked tired and drawn, he hair pulled back in to messy bun and her face pale as she pulled a black jumper down over her head.
“Baby, are you okay?” Harry stepped beside her, pulling her in to his arms.
“Yeah, I’m fine…” She cast her eyes down to the floor, almost pulling away from him.
“Do you need anything?” He asked, trying not to take her recoil personally, “I can ask the hostess if they have a hot water bottle on board?”
A crease formed between her eyebrows as she looked up at him, “What are you talking about?”
“You know, for the… cramps?” He reached out and ran the backs of his fingers gently over her stomach, just above the waistband of her jeans.
It took a minute to understand, and when she realised what he was saying and the concern behind his words, she instantly felt terrible for lying to him, and making Katie lie on her behalf. Stepping in to his arms, she wrapped her arms around his waist, resting her head against his chest, “I’m good…”
Harry held her close, kissing the top of her head and running his hands over her lower back before turning and heading back toward their seats, finding everyone starting to wake up, the cabin becoming slightly livelier.
“Oh yeah….” Niall smirked, looking at Harry and Alice walking through the aisle, “Where have you two been, eh?” He waggled his eyebrows up and down, suggestively.
“Shagging in the loo…” Harry answered without missing a beat, completely dead pan, as he slapped him up the back side of the head.
Louis’ laugh echoed throughout the entire aircraft, as Niall rubbed the back of his head. Alice ignored the banter, continuing to focus on her breathing as she took her seat. Taking a seat next to her, Harry turned to check she was okay, gently stroking her forehead, surprised at how warm and clammy her skin was.
“Why don’t you try and sleep, baby?” He whispered, kissing her temple.
She nodded, shifting in her seat and nestling against her travel pillow, closing her eyes. He smiled to himself, his heart almost bursting with how much love he felt for her at that very moment. Turning back, he paused, noticing the look of concern in Katie’s brown eyes as she stared at Alice. She blinked, looking away before catching Harry looking at her and, plastering an obviously forced smile on her face, she quickly turned to Liam.
Something about the way she was watching Alice, almost cautiously, didn’t sit well with him, it was a horrible feeling, like there was something wrong and he didn’t know. He didn’t like not knowing, particularly when it came to the girl who owned his heart, and for the remainder of the flight, he had an uncomfortable feeling settling low in his stomach.

Notes

So I didn’t get my 10 votes, which is bit disheartening considering I have had over 1000 reads since Sunday…
Are people too lazy to vote and comment?
Well, I got an awesome comment from Alice, so that was what has kept me going, despite major writers block!

Thinking of deleting this account and just focussing on my new Wattpad account because it is way simpler to use – this site seems to not work as often as I would like it to.

Anyway, if you would like to continue reading, feel free to pop over to my Wattpad account, and if not, that is fine too!