I'm broken
▣.01▣
Jess P.O.V.
* Freshman year / day Jess meant Tyler*
*beep* *beep* *beep* *smack* oh shit! I quickly sit up and realized I hit my iPhone 5c (A/N I don't really know much about iPhones) I look around and try to find my phone.
I then spot it, I pick it see and see that my screen is practically broken. I then turn my phone around because the back is glass also and oh! that's just lovely it's cracked also. God I just got this phone last month.I sighed, I squinted to try and see the time.6:05.
I decide since I'm awake already to get ready for school. I get up and go to my closet to pick out an outfit.
I search through my clothes till I find my 99 problems crop top jersey, black skinnies with rips and my heel boots that stop at my ankle.
I then get my towel and head towards my bathroom, I go to the shower and turn the knob to hot. while I wait for the water to get hot ,I put my hair in a bun so I don't get my hair wet. I get my curling iron wand out and plug it into the wall for it to heat.
I then undress myself and get into the shower and start to wash up that takesal about 4-5 minutes.
When I'm done i get out and dry myself and go to my draw to get my undergarments and put them on.
I then go to the bathroom and start to do loose curls and after I'm done I puton my makeup which is only filling in my eye brows, eyeliner, mascara and lip gloss and put a bit of blush so my cheeks aren't pale.
I then get dressed and get my backpack from the corner of my room and go downstairs.
When I go into the kitchen I am greeted by my mom and oh! Great. She's drunk.
"Hi honey" my mom slurred.
"Hi mum" I said awkwardly since i don't really talk to my mum.
Well i have to go... Bye" I said and quickly grabbed a banana and grab my car keys from the Counter.
I go into the garage and unlock my car and throw my backpack into the passager seat and then sit in the driver seat and start the car ,I then go to school.
When I get to school as usual kids at my school ignore me, as I walk inside I accidentally bump into a girl with blonde hair.
"sorry I didn't see you" I said to the girl.
"it's ok" she said. " hey your Jess right?" she asked. how did she know my name I'm always invisible.
" yeah" I said awkwardly. "I'm Perrie we should hang out sometime, yeah?" she asked
" yeah I'll see you around." I smiled, wow think I can actual make a friend.
I start to walk to my English class and as I pass I see a new girl with blue hair talking to a boy who I think is Louis, but I'm not so sure since I have only seen him around a few times.
I walk inside my English class and go in the back of the back of the class so I don't get noticed. I take a seat and set my stuff, as I'm getting ready for class I feel someone starring at me. I turn around and see a boy.
"um.. you know starring is rude right?" I said. " sorry I didn't mean to um... my name is Tyler'' he said to try to break the awkwardness.
"Jess" I said, I then stood up and stuck out my hand for Tyler to shake but instead he grab my hand and planted a kiss. I immediately blushed.
"Jess do you want to go on a date with me this Friday?" Tyler asked shyly.
"yes" I said with a big smile.
*Day Tyler and Jess broke up*
Tyler and I have been together for 2 years. we have already said our ' I love you's ' in the first 6 months. I have never loved someone as much as I love Tyler. Tyler knows all my darkest secrets.
Today I wake up with a grin on my face. I hate school but Tyler makes everything worth it. I get out of bed and take a shower. today I put more effort because Tyler says he has a surpise for me.
When I get done taking a shower, I get my curling iron and plug it into the wall for it to heat up. While that's happening I go and put my panties and bra. I then go to my closet and pick out a maroon crop top, high waisted black skinny jeans and my lace up boots.
I go and start to curl my hair and when I'm done I start to do my makeup which is eyeliner and I do a wing with mascara then I have dark red lipstick to make my lips pop.
When I'm done getting dressed I get my backpack and go downstairs and get my car keys.
Thankfully my mom is in her bedroom asleep. I go inside my car and put my backpack in the back of the seats and start my car and leave for school.
Tyler told me to meet him inside of school. So I collect my stuff and head to the entrance of the school.
When I get inside I see a crowd near my locker. Why are they?... God! It must be Cher again. I hurry to my locker and see Tyler and Cher with poster. Wait... OH MY GOD!
I grab a poster and see there pictures of me but I'm nude. I grab another poster and this one has my secret of how when i cut when my dad died. I look around these all are pictures of me or my deepest secrets.
I look up and see Tyler kissing Cher. I feel a sting come to my eyes.Tyler and Cher both had smirked on there faces as they turned to look at me.
"Why?" My voice cracked as I asked.
"Oh sweet innocent, oh wait NOT inoccent anymore, You see I only used you. I used you to take away your virginity, I used you to know your secrets and it worked. I got what I wanted and you really are naïve." Tyler chuckled.
"Did you really think anyone would want some as ugly, pathetic and stupid as you?" Cher darkly chuckled.
by now my eyelids where heavy with all the makeup ruined. I can feel my eyelashes sticking together. I couldn't really see with as my tears I really wanted to sob but I don't want to look even more pathetic as I look now.
"oh by the way you know how sometimes I said I have to leave or I'd say I'm busy?" he asked and I can already feel the bad news coming.
" yeah, well I was really only cheating on you." Tyler said and I cried harder and he only smirked bigger as I did.
"I'm pretty sure you can guess with who he cheated on with you" Cher said while she pointed as herself then she dragged her hands down her sides to say she is skinnier and has curves.
" oh and watch out Jess" Cher said. I then gasped as I felt something sticky run down my body. I turn round and see Cameron and Chris laughing while holding a bucket.
" I wonder how you'll get that off incase your wondering it's honey." Cher laughed.
I look around me and see people laughing while taking videos and pictures. I then turn back and look at Tyler, Cher, Cameron, Chris, Adam, Gabby, Cara, Jake, Josh and there new addition Eleanor. I then turn my back and run to the entrance, to my car I am now full on sobbing.
I get inside my car not caring about the honey getting onto my car. I speed my way to my house.
when I get home I get my keys and unlock my door when I get inside I see my mom in the living room drinking staring off into space. she then turns and looks at me.
" it was your fault your farther is DEAD!" my mom shouts at me. " you are a disgusting child I HATE YOU!" my mom then comes towards me and she slaps me hard.
" mom it wasn't even with him, it was your fault you kicked him out of the house over a shit of an argument!" I told my mom holding my cheek.
" DON'T YOU DARE TALK TO ME LIKE THAT! YOU SHOULD HAVE STOPPED HIM, YOU SLUT!" my mom yelled and then punched me in the stomach.
I then quickly run up my room before my mom can hit my anymore.
I lock my door so my mom doesn't get in. my mom has never ever hit me before sober or drunk she just ignores me or sometimes she is nice but this is different.
I go into my bathroom and turn the shower on and wait for the water to heat. I then peel my clothes off.
I look in the mirror and see my hair is all sticky full of honey, my makeup is smudged and all over my face and I see a bruise start to form on my stomach. I then look again and study myself this time in the mirror.
Cher and Tyler and everyone are right. I am fat. I am ugly. I am pathetic. my nose is big, I have a fat stomach, my eyes are a dull brown, I have chubby cheeks, I have flabs on my arms and I have big thighs.
I force myself to stop looking into the mirror and get in the shower. when I'm done washing my hair. I stare off and then an urge came into my I then look at my razor and I grab it. I then brought the razor onto my wrist and I saw red blood rush out.
*present*
I sob uncontrollable, my vision is blurry and all I see is red liquid drip down my arms, legs and thighs.
I clear my vision by wiping all the tears in my eyes and I look at my stomach, to someone else they will see my ribcage and that I'm to skinny but to me I see fat.
I look up at myself and see bruise on my face, legs, arms, stomach and back from school and from home.
I'm so pathetic, ugly, worthless, a slut, a whore, a piece of shit... that's all I'll ever be.
This is my life now and I can't be saved....
* Freshman year / day Jess meant Tyler*
*beep* *beep* *beep* *smack* oh shit! I quickly sit up and realized I hit my iPhone 5c (A/N I don't really know much about iPhones) I look around and try to find my phone.
I then spot it, I pick it see and see that my screen is practically broken. I then turn my phone around because the back is glass also and oh! that's just lovely it's cracked also. God I just got this phone last month.I sighed, I squinted to try and see the time.6:05.
I decide since I'm awake already to get ready for school. I get up and go to my closet to pick out an outfit.
I search through my clothes till I find my 99 problems crop top jersey, black skinnies with rips and my heel boots that stop at my ankle.
I then get my towel and head towards my bathroom, I go to the shower and turn the knob to hot. while I wait for the water to get hot ,I put my hair in a bun so I don't get my hair wet. I get my curling iron wand out and plug it into the wall for it to heat.
I then undress myself and get into the shower and start to wash up that takesal about 4-5 minutes.
When I'm done i get out and dry myself and go to my draw to get my undergarments and put them on.
I then go to the bathroom and start to do loose curls and after I'm done I puton my makeup which is only filling in my eye brows, eyeliner, mascara and lip gloss and put a bit of blush so my cheeks aren't pale.
I then get dressed and get my backpack from the corner of my room and go downstairs.
When I go into the kitchen I am greeted by my mom and oh! Great. She's drunk.
"Hi honey" my mom slurred.
"Hi mum" I said awkwardly since i don't really talk to my mum.
Well i have to go... Bye" I said and quickly grabbed a banana and grab my car keys from the Counter.
I go into the garage and unlock my car and throw my backpack into the passager seat and then sit in the driver seat and start the car ,I then go to school.
When I get to school as usual kids at my school ignore me, as I walk inside I accidentally bump into a girl with blonde hair.
"sorry I didn't see you" I said to the girl.
"it's ok" she said. " hey your Jess right?" she asked. how did she know my name I'm always invisible.
" yeah" I said awkwardly. "I'm Perrie we should hang out sometime, yeah?" she asked
" yeah I'll see you around." I smiled, wow think I can actual make a friend.
I start to walk to my English class and as I pass I see a new girl with blue hair talking to a boy who I think is Louis, but I'm not so sure since I have only seen him around a few times.
I walk inside my English class and go in the back of the back of the class so I don't get noticed. I take a seat and set my stuff, as I'm getting ready for class I feel someone starring at me. I turn around and see a boy.
"um.. you know starring is rude right?" I said. " sorry I didn't mean to um... my name is Tyler'' he said to try to break the awkwardness.
"Jess" I said, I then stood up and stuck out my hand for Tyler to shake but instead he grab my hand and planted a kiss. I immediately blushed.
"Jess do you want to go on a date with me this Friday?" Tyler asked shyly.
"yes" I said with a big smile.
*Day Tyler and Jess broke up*
Tyler and I have been together for 2 years. we have already said our ' I love you's ' in the first 6 months. I have never loved someone as much as I love Tyler. Tyler knows all my darkest secrets.
Today I wake up with a grin on my face. I hate school but Tyler makes everything worth it. I get out of bed and take a shower. today I put more effort because Tyler says he has a surpise for me.
When I get done taking a shower, I get my curling iron and plug it into the wall for it to heat up. While that's happening I go and put my panties and bra. I then go to my closet and pick out a maroon crop top, high waisted black skinny jeans and my lace up boots.
I go and start to curl my hair and when I'm done I start to do my makeup which is eyeliner and I do a wing with mascara then I have dark red lipstick to make my lips pop.
When I'm done getting dressed I get my backpack and go downstairs and get my car keys.
Thankfully my mom is in her bedroom asleep. I go inside my car and put my backpack in the back of the seats and start my car and leave for school.
Tyler told me to meet him inside of school. So I collect my stuff and head to the entrance of the school.
When I get inside I see a crowd near my locker. Why are they?... God! It must be Cher again. I hurry to my locker and see Tyler and Cher with poster. Wait... OH MY GOD!
I grab a poster and see there pictures of me but I'm nude. I grab another poster and this one has my secret of how when i cut when my dad died. I look around these all are pictures of me or my deepest secrets.
I look up and see Tyler kissing Cher. I feel a sting come to my eyes.Tyler and Cher both had smirked on there faces as they turned to look at me.
"Why?" My voice cracked as I asked.
"Oh sweet innocent, oh wait NOT inoccent anymore, You see I only used you. I used you to take away your virginity, I used you to know your secrets and it worked. I got what I wanted and you really are naïve." Tyler chuckled.
"Did you really think anyone would want some as ugly, pathetic and stupid as you?" Cher darkly chuckled.
by now my eyelids where heavy with all the makeup ruined. I can feel my eyelashes sticking together. I couldn't really see with as my tears I really wanted to sob but I don't want to look even more pathetic as I look now.
"oh by the way you know how sometimes I said I have to leave or I'd say I'm busy?" he asked and I can already feel the bad news coming.
" yeah, well I was really only cheating on you." Tyler said and I cried harder and he only smirked bigger as I did.
"I'm pretty sure you can guess with who he cheated on with you" Cher said while she pointed as herself then she dragged her hands down her sides to say she is skinnier and has curves.
" oh and watch out Jess" Cher said. I then gasped as I felt something sticky run down my body. I turn round and see Cameron and Chris laughing while holding a bucket.
" I wonder how you'll get that off incase your wondering it's honey." Cher laughed.
I look around me and see people laughing while taking videos and pictures. I then turn back and look at Tyler, Cher, Cameron, Chris, Adam, Gabby, Cara, Jake, Josh and there new addition Eleanor. I then turn my back and run to the entrance, to my car I am now full on sobbing.
I get inside my car not caring about the honey getting onto my car. I speed my way to my house.
when I get home I get my keys and unlock my door when I get inside I see my mom in the living room drinking staring off into space. she then turns and looks at me.
" it was your fault your farther is DEAD!" my mom shouts at me. " you are a disgusting child I HATE YOU!" my mom then comes towards me and she slaps me hard.
" mom it wasn't even with him, it was your fault you kicked him out of the house over a shit of an argument!" I told my mom holding my cheek.
" DON'T YOU DARE TALK TO ME LIKE THAT! YOU SHOULD HAVE STOPPED HIM, YOU SLUT!" my mom yelled and then punched me in the stomach.
I then quickly run up my room before my mom can hit my anymore.
I lock my door so my mom doesn't get in. my mom has never ever hit me before sober or drunk she just ignores me or sometimes she is nice but this is different.
I go into my bathroom and turn the shower on and wait for the water to heat. I then peel my clothes off.
I look in the mirror and see my hair is all sticky full of honey, my makeup is smudged and all over my face and I see a bruise start to form on my stomach. I then look again and study myself this time in the mirror.
Cher and Tyler and everyone are right. I am fat. I am ugly. I am pathetic. my nose is big, I have a fat stomach, my eyes are a dull brown, I have chubby cheeks, I have flabs on my arms and I have big thighs.
I force myself to stop looking into the mirror and get in the shower. when I'm done washing my hair. I stare off and then an urge came into my I then look at my razor and I grab it. I then brought the razor onto my wrist and I saw red blood rush out.
*present*
I sob uncontrollable, my vision is blurry and all I see is red liquid drip down my arms, legs and thighs.
I clear my vision by wiping all the tears in my eyes and I look at my stomach, to someone else they will see my ribcage and that I'm to skinny but to me I see fat.
I look up at myself and see bruise on my face, legs, arms, stomach and back from school and from home.
I'm so pathetic, ugly, worthless, a slut, a whore, a piece of shit... that's all I'll ever be.
This is my life now and I can't be saved....
Notes
Hi guys! Ok so this is my first fanfiction I hope you like it! If you have any questions or anything just leave a comment and I will answer it. I edited this chapter, I added more details and more to the chapter. hope you like it bye!
X◆black.whiite. 1D◆X
@Larry loverson
Thanks! I just started being the co-author so we will see how I do!!
7/25/15