I open my eyes just to be reminded that all of this was real. All of it. I sign to myself as I lean up a little in the hospital bed.

‘’Dovie?’’ I hear Emily’s sweet, friendly voice say and I look over to see her sitting on the couch, James was asleep with his hand on her shoulder.

‘’Hey Emmy.’’ I smile gently. I’ve known this girl forever.

Her and James have always been close friends and I usually call her Emmy. She never minded though, and I knew she didn’t care either way it went.

‘’You feel okay?” She asks concerned.

‘’Yeah.. not better, but not any worse.’’ I sigh. She nods to me, understanding I guess.

‘’You got a letter from some college in the mail today, I didn’t read the name though, just saw it said application notification on the front.’’ She smiles gently as she stands up, James’s head falling but he soon picks it up, still sound asleep.

‘’Here.’’ She says as she grabs the envelope and hands it to me.

I smile when I see what was on the stamp. It was from University of Tennessee. But I could never imagine them accepting me.

They didn’t go very in depth when it came to applying, but there were things that I had to have.

And I had those things.

Good grades during my school years, good behavior, determination. But yet.. I wasn’t ready for to start classes, not now at least. I wasn’t in any physical state to do anything at the moment.

I open it up and take out the folded letter. I take a deep breath as I open it up. And I start to read it, slowly.. but hopes and wishes are washed away quickly. Faster than anything ever before.

Dear Ms. D. Hayward,

We would love to have you attend, but unfortunately your recent events will not allow you to. And as you asked, we contacted your doctor and had a talk with him. You probably know this already, but he said that you would not be able to get out until a month at the least.

Classes start next week. But we are sorry you could not attend this year. But perhaps next year you can. We hope to hear back from you if you’re interested in online classes, or next’s years agendas and major courses classes.

Thank you for applying, we wish you get better as soon as you can.

-University of Memphis ~ Enrollment Center

I fold the letter back up and hand it to Emily as she stands and walks over to me.

‘’You want to keep it?” She asks. I nod to her as I cross my arms on my chest, releasing a long and loud huff.

I watch as Emily walks over to where James’s duffel bag was. She picks it up and reveals my make up bag, but I have two and that one was just for the things I received here. Bills, letters, mail, and all that. She puts it back in there and zips it up, and soon she returns to the couch.

‘’Don’t they offer online classes?’’ Emily asks me curiously. I nod to her, but I sigh along with the nod.

‘’I’d rather do everything hands on.’’ I say.

‘’They have the class lesson videos don’t they?’’ She asks. I nod again.

‘’Well, I’m sure it will be the same.’’ She says, trying to cheer me up.

No matter how hard she tries, or how hard James tries.. I’m not going to be happy. Not now. Not while knowing that I was the reason my mother is dead.

I’m not happy about this, or about the situation, or the stupid college letter. The only thing that makes me any kind of happy is my favorite singer’s music, and him of course.

‘’Can you hand me my tablet?’’ I ask Emily kindly. She nods as she stands up and goes to the other side of the room where the sink was, something the doctor mainly used.

She grabs my IPad and brings it to me. I smile as a thank you and she just smiles back as she sits down and takes her phone out. I grab my earbuds from the table beside the bed. I plug them in as I enter my password.

My wonderful cover picture is revealed to my eyes and I smile. This is the thing that makes me smile, the only thing that makes me feel worthy and to feel like I’m loved, and I’m beautiful, and I’m perfect.

And I’m.. I’m just grateful for him. If his mother never brought him into this world.. I’d probably would have killed myself by now, thanks to all the pain of my life.




This amazing person I’m staring at is Harry Styles. And he’s amazing, wonderful, everything in the world that’s good.

But mainly.. he’s just amazing for what he does. He makes me feel beautiful just by singing about it. And that’s all I need to make me smile.

James thinks my obsession with Harry Styles is extreme, and just pure crazy. Well its not. Its wonderful, and amazing.

But at the same, he knows its my life. I have every song he’s ever sung, and all four his books so far, all of his perfumes, all of his albums, and all that sorta stuff. I’ve got posters all over my bedroom wall at home.

Home. Sadly I won’t be staying in the house I was raised in. James and Emily will allow me to come stay with them until I can be on my own.

My mom’s house will be given to a cousin of mine. She’s got five kids and is single, so James thought it would be a good thing to let her have it since she didn’t have a home currently.

So, because of this, I sent James and one of his friends to the house and told them to gather my things. Emily helped when it came to carefully taking down my posters and gathering my obsessions.

I search through my songs, I have more than just Harry’s of course, until I find one of my favorites. I love them all, but there was something about ‘Story Of My Life’ that I loved so much. So I turned the volume up as loud as it will go, so I can block out everything.

Once the music was blasting in my ears and after I hit reply, I go to my E! News app and click it. It opens up and I look at the top stories.

Just stuff about a new movie, some celebrity break ups, but then I smile when I see that beautiful face of Harry Styles.

I click on it and it opens up the article titled “Harry’s Winner”. I sigh as I start to read the article. Those are just dreams of mine that will never come true.. Never.

So curiously, I start reading.

Notes

I will update very soon!! Please comment your thoughts and I would love any feedback I can get?! Thanks!!

I love ya and I hope the story is getting better!! The New POV is here already and obviously it will continue through out the story for sure! :)

♥♥--B