It’s been a couple of days since Sophia left us. It was Sunday and Niall and I were going to go on our date. Niall told me last night that we were going hiking, so I had to get up early in the morning. I made sure that my clothes and bag were ready before we went to bed. I made Niall do the same since it was going to take us over an hour to get there.

Niall woke me up by kissing my neck as he kept whispering sweet things in my ear. I pushed him off of me, so I could get up. I warned him to behave today since I didn’t want to get lost. Niall ran off to put our bags in the car. I put on the clothes that I left out last night. I purposely put lacy black knickers under my black short shorts. I put on my black and white Indy printed sports bra. It gave me great cleavage especially when I bend over. I put my grey runners on after I put on my ankle socks. I put a black hoodie on since it was cold outside and I didn’t know how long it was going to last for, “I got your bag princess,” Niall says as he came in my room.

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“Did you get the drink bottles out of the fridge?” I questioned. Niall was looking me up and down, but mainly at my legs. I noticed Niall was wearing a LA Galaxy football singlet with bright yellow shorts. I was looking at how toned his arms were, “not yet. We grabbed them on our way out,” he says. I nodded my head as I looked at him, “just got to fix my hair and we can go.” I tell him. I put my hair up in a ponytail and Niall put his up in a quiff for some reason.

We were in the car ten minutes later heading to our first date. I was actually excited to be going out with Niall today. I think after the week we both had. It might be nice to spend some alone time with Niall in the woods with no one around. Niall was smiling big and it was strange for this time of the morning, “stop being so happy,” I tell him.

“Why can’t I be happy?” he wondered. He placed his hand on my thigh, “it’s seven thirty in the morning on a Sunday,” I pointed out. Niall laughed a little bit, “it be alright baby,” he cooed. I grabbed his hand, “you’re lucky that I think you look hot in that singlet,” I mumbled. Niall squeezed my hand, “you look hot with you naked legs out,” he smirked. I put my legs over one of his, so my feet were between his legs. Niall wrapped an arm around my knees, “be good,” he smiled.

“It’s ok baby. I’m too tired to play with myself in the car,” I teased. Niall smiled bigger as he shook his head, “good or I will turn this car around and take you home,” he says. Niall kissed my knee, “and what are you going to do to me when we get home?” I wondered. He ran his hand up my thigh, “go back on my word,” he tells me. I grabbed his hand, “I just might let you,” I smiled. Niall bit his lip, “be good,” he whispered.

I stared at Niall as he drove us to the middle of nowhere. When I got out of the car we were at the start of a forest, “I told the boys where we are. They’re going to come look for us about seven if we’re not back,” Niall tell me. I gave him a small nod as I grabbed my bag out of the back. Niall did the same and we put them on, “so let’s go,” he added. Niall took my hand and lead me into the forest, “what made you think of this?” I asked.

“We used to go on walks all the time and I thought maybe you wanted to get out of the city. I know you like the outdoors,” he replied. Niall seemed nervous, “it’s a great idea,” I smiled. I kissed his cheek, “plus you could use the work out,” I teased. Niall pushed me gently, “when was the last time you got any exercise?” he questioned. I started thinking, “does sex count?” I wondered. Niall shook his head, “then I can’t remember,” I tell him.

“If sex counted. I would be fit as hell,” Niall smirked. I shook my head, “we haven’t had sex for over a month, but you did hump your bed,” I pointed out. Niall glared at me as we kept walking, “for your information my burn gone,” he says. I smiled as I bit my lip, “you want me to kiss it better still?” I flirted. Niall took in a deep breath, “not yet,” he says. Niall wrapped his arms around me, “I think today going to be frustrating, but fun,” he added.

“Frustrating?” I questioned. Niall nodded his head, “we’re making sex jokes and you just offered to blow me. I might take you up on that offer since I can’t stop looking at your naked legs,” he whispered in my ear. He kissed under it, “I think we should keep walking. I can still see your car,” I tell him. Niall kissed under my ear again, “I think that might be wise,” he says.

Niall held my hand as we walked through the forest. It was starting to warm up, so I told Niall that we should stop for five minutes. I took my hoddie off and bent over to put it in my bag. Niall put his hands on my hips from behind, “your fucken lucky that I have will power,” he growled. I stood up and purposely pushed my arse into him. Niall dug his fingers into my hips, “baby,” he groaned. I turned around to face him and Niall straight away looked down at my boobs, “you need to calm down baby. We have a long way to go,” I smiled. Niall kissed me lightly, “or I could just rip your clothes off and have my way with you right now,” he smirked.

“But you’re going back on your word,” I pointed out. Niall grabbed my arse, “but you cheated again. Why can’t I cheat for once?” he wondered. He ran his hands up the side of my waist, “why can’t this day not count towards the six weeks? This day could be a dream to us. No one will ever know,” he continued. I bit my bottom lip, “but aren’t we cheating ourselves?” I questioned. Niall kissed me lightly as he sighed, “just say no. If that’s what you want,” he tells me.

“Niall hunny. I don’t want to say no, but I know you do. You’re letting your hormones take over,” I pointed out. Niall kissed my nose, “I know I am. It’s just you look so hot and your wearing lacy knickers, but your right,” he admitted. He stepped away from me, “we should keep walking,” he added. Niall was trying really hard right now and it made me smile, “princess why you smiling at me?” he asked. I kissed his cheek, “cause your trying really hard,” I replied. Niall blushed a deep red, “come on. There’s something I want to show you,” he tells me.

Niall and I kept walking what felt like hours until we stopped in front of a river with a waterfall. It was beautiful, “this is amazing,” I say. Niall came up behind me and took my backpack off of me, “I thought we could go for a swim,” he tells me. I looked at him as he put my bag down next to his, “but I don’t have my bathers,” I pointed out. Niall took his top off and threw it onto our bags, “it’s called skinny dipping baby,” he smirked.

“Hunny can you handle seeing me naked?” I teased. I slowly took my shorts off and Niall licked his lips, “I think I can,” he says. Niall took his shorts and boxers off together, so he was already naked. I bit my bottom lip as I looked him up and down. I quickly took the rest of my clothes off and ran to the edge of the water. I stopped since I didn’t know how deep it was. Niall came up right behind me and picked me up bridle style, “remember you don’t go in the water without me,” he reminded me.

“I know,” I smiled. I kissed him before he started walking into the water, “is there anything in this water?” I wondered. Niall shrugged his shoulders, “I think it’s just fish,” he says. I kissed his jaw line, “how did you know about this place?” I asked. The water was coming up around me and Niall, “googled it,” he replied. Niall stopped us in front of the waterfall and the water came up to his chest, “this is a fantastic idea. I would never have pictured this as our first date,” I smiled.

“Well if I just met you. I wouldn’t have taken you here, but since I know you. I knew this place be perfect for us,” he says. I moved my legs, so they would fall. I kept my arms around Niall’s neck and he kept his arm around me. I couldn’t touch the bottom, “someone being brave,” Niall says. I shook my head, “I know you’re not going to let me go,” I tell him. Niall smiled at me and I knew he was up to no good, “if you drop me. I will never talk to you again,” I warned him.

“That might be a good thing,” he started. I wrapped my legs around him, so I was ready if he did drop me. Niall groaned, “princess there is nothing stopping me from doing anything to you,” he pointed out. Niall grabbed my arse and pushed me up. I was face to face with him, “hunny. What has gotten into you?” I wondered. Niall kissed me hard, “my girlfriend. I just find her perfect,” he tells me.

“No really Niall,” I say. Niall nodded his head as he kissed me, “really baby. I find you perfect,” he admitted. I knew I was bright red, but those words mean a lot to me. Niall kissed me lightly, “and my hand getting boring,” he added. I placed his face between my hands and kissed him, “do you want my hand, my mouth or my,” I started. Niall covered my mouth with his hand, “don’t finish that sentence baby,” he interrupted. Niall kissed my nose before he moved his hand away, “why not?” I teased.

“Because this our first date and I’m not some hussy that will sleep with you,” he says. I kissed him, “but you still want something,” I pointed out. Niall was thinking, “baby I really do want to go slow with you. I know it’s hard for the both of us since we already done it. However, I also think our relationship would be stronger if we kept to our word. I know we know each other inside and out, but this is new to us. We can’t go back from this. I don’t want to go back from this,” he confessed.

“I don’t want to go back too. I want you and if you want to wait. Then I’ll wait,” I promised. Niall kissed me, “you’re meant to be the girl in this relationship,” he says. I shrugged my shoulders as I kissed him, “it’s ok. I won’t tell anyone,” I smiled. Niall smiled back as he kissed me, “I’m so going to tell the boys that you begged me,” he smirked. I playfully hit his arm, “I would leave you,” I warned him.

“No you won’t,” he says. I knew he was right, “but Liam single now and we live together,” I started. Niall kissed me to shut up, “that’s mean baby. I would never do that to you,” he tells him. I kissed him lightly, “are you alright with me living with the boys?” I wondered. Niall shrugged his shoulders, “I trust them, but if Liam starts walking in the bathroom on you. I think I would have a problem. I have a problem with you doing it to Louis,” he admitted.

“I understand, but you are bigger than Louis tho,” I tell him. Niall laughed, “I knew that already,” he says. Niall walked closer to the waterfall, “but we are going to stop talking about the other guy’s dicks,” he added. I nodded my head, “do you want me to pay attention to yours?” I wondered. Niall nodded his head, “but you can wait a second. There is a cave behind the waterfall,” he tells me.

When we got behind the waterfall there was a small cave that just fit me and Niall. The stone was cold on my bare skin as Niall laid me down, “I’ll warm you up,” he says. He ran his hands up my thighs before he kissed up them, “I think we have to come back here,” he whispered. He kissed up my stomach between my boobs, “I need to fuck you here,” he added. Niall kissed up my neck to my lips. He kissed me hard and I put my hand through his hair, “Ni,” I groaned.

“Yes baby?” he questioned. I ran my hands down the side of his body, “I want to dry hump,” I say. Niall laughed a little bit, “got to put clothes on for that,” he smiled. I shook my head, “we can do it naked,” I tell him. Niall kissed my nose, “what if I accidentally enter you?” he asked. I ran my hands up his chest, “it’s all about trust and self-control,” I smirked.

“What about the tip?” he wondered. I shook my head as I smiled, “no penetration,” I tell him. Niall pouted, “not even an inch?” he questioned. I pushed him onto his back and straddled his waist, “no,” I say. Niall ran his hands up my thighs, “I knew that would get you on top,” he smirked. I leant over to kiss him, “cause dry humping naked is a great idea,” he added.

“You’re lucky that I love you,” I whispered. I moved back, so his member was between my legs. I started grinding down on him, “this is already better than the other night,” he says. I shook my head as I kept going, “don’t start talking or I will stop,” I warned. Niall smiled as he bit his lip, “I love you,” he tells me. I kissed him, “I love you,” I smiled. Niall flipped us over, so I was underneath him, “but I’m going to be in charge,” he says. Niall started moving between my legs as I dug my fingers into his arms.

After we came Niall laid down on his back next to me, “next time we do anything like that. Can we please use our hands?” Niall begged. I laughed as I rolled on my side to look at him, “was that too hard for you?” I questioned. Niall nodded his head, “well it felt great, however it felt like I was missing out. I was in the position, but I wasn’t in you,” he explained. I placed my hand on his chest, “you men need to learn that not everything about getting your dick wet,” I say.

“But I still did get my dick wet,” he smirked. I sat up as I felt upset with Niall, “is this the end of our date or are we going to continue?” I wondered. Niall sat up, “we still have a long way to go. I just wanted to go for a swim, but I will admit that I was hoping for a hand job,” he tells me. Niall grabbed my chin gently, “don’t think for one second that I’m doing all of this to get into your pants,” he promised. He kissed me lightly, “I know,” I whispered.

Niall got into the water first, so he could help me. He carried me in the water, “we have a couple of hours of walking. Then we are going to have some lunch that we packed. Then we going to walk back to the car,” he tells me. I nodded my head, “and we don’t have to walk fast. We can go at our own pace,” he added. I kissed him, “but before we get out of the water. We should clean up,” I say.

After Niall and I clean up and got dressed. We started walking deeper into the forest, “when we got back together. Why didn’t you stay with me for the night?” I wondered. Niall looked confused, “what made you think that?” he questioned. I shrugged my shoulders, “personally I don’t know why I left. I really want to stay next you, but we just started. I also needed to go home to do something,” he tells me. I knew Niall went home to have a wank, “but if I didn’t leave. I wouldn’t have found out about Liam and Sophia,” he added.

“That’s true, but I can’t believe that we’re going to have a baby in the apartment in about four months. Like Liam going to be a dad soon,” I smiled. Niall laughed a little bit, “what do you think his having?” Niall questioned. Niall grabbed my hand and squeezed it, “a boy,” I say. Niall seemed curious, “and he is going to be like his dad,” I added. Niall pulled me close to him, “princess promise me something,” Niall started. I looked at him, “let Liam do most of it. Help him, but don’t let him use you,” he tells me. I kissed him, “I won’t,” I promised.

Niall and I walked until we got to a side of a cliff, “I think this is a perfect spot for lunch,” Niall smiled. The view was amazing, “I think it is,” I mumbled. I put my bag down before I walked closer to the edge, “be careful baby,” Niall tells me. I gave him a small nod as he was setting up lunch, “I think this is one of the best ideas you’ve ever had,” I say. I looked back at the view, “I don’t think I want to go anywhere,” I added.

“I know,” Niall whispered before he wrapped his arms around me. I grabbed his hands, “thank you for bringing me here for our first date. I’m never going forget this,” I tell him. Niall kissed my shoulder, “it’s not over yet. We still have to walk back,” he pointed out. I smiled as I nodded my head, “you staying over tonight?” I asked.

“If you really want me too, but don’t you think we’re moving too fast? I normally don’t go home with the girl on the first date,” he joked. I turned around in his arms, “is that so?” I questioned. Niall looked innocent as he nodded his head, “than your dating the wrong girl,” I say. Niall shook his head, “I wanna live on the wild side for once,” he smiled. I kissed him, “then you’re still dating the wrong girl,” I tell him. Niall kissed me, “I want you. Your perfect for me,” he confessed.

After we ate the lunch we pack. We just sat there looking at the view, “we should head back,” Niall says. I stopped him from getting up, “just a little bit longer. I don’t want to head back to life just yet,” I admitted. Niall moved behind me, “what’s the matter?” he wondered. I leant back into him as he wrapped his arms around me, “nothing. I just want to stay here a bit longer with you,” I tell him.

“Ok,” he says. He kissed the top of my head, “Shut the door
Turn the light off
I wanna be with you
I wanna feel your love
I wanna lay beside you
I cannot hide this
Even though I try

Heart beats harder
Time escapes me
Trembling hands
Touch skin
It makes this harder
And the tears stream down my face,” he sang softly. I smiled as I closed my eyes, “If we could only have this life
For one more day
If we could only turn back time

You know I’ll be
Your life
Your voice
Your reason to be
My love
My heart
Is breathing for this
Moment
In time
I’ll find the words to say
Before you leave me today,” he kept singing. I nuzzled my face into his neck. I felt Niall smile as he kept singing. I lightly kissed his neck a couple of times, “I love you,” I whispered. I looked at Niall and he put his hand on the side of my face. He ran his thumb along my cheek, “I love you,” he smiled. He kissed me lightly over and over again, “always have,” he added.

Niall and I made out for a little bit before we decided that it was time to go back. I put my backpack on before Niall grabbed my hand. We started walking back the way we came, “I thought about telling Granny about us,” he says. I was shocked, “if you do that we should tell my dad then,” I tell him. Niall looked scared as he nodded his head, “maybe we could go back for Christmas and tell them then,” he suggested.

“You sure?” I questioned. Niall nodded his head, “if it’s alright with your dad. Maybe Granny come stay with us,” he says. I kissed his cheek, “I call dad later this week to ask him,” I tell him. Niall stopped, “you don’t have to do it that soon. Christmas is far away. We just started the new school year,” he rambled. I stopped him, “I won’t tell him anything. I’ll just ask him if going to be home for Christmas,” I reassured him.

“Ok,” Niall mumbled. Niall let go of my hand, so he could take his top off. I looked over his chest and abbs, “princess staring is rude,” he smirked. I nodded my head, but my eyes never leaving his body. He put his top in his bag before he put his bag back on. I bit my bottom lip, “princess stop that,” he warned me. He grabbed my hand, “I know I’m irresistible, but we have to keep walking,” he tells him. I kissed him, “I know,” I smiled.

“You know that I’m irresistible or that we have to keep walking?” he wondered. I pulled him to start walking again, “both,” I replied. Niall smiled big at me as he walked next to me, “I find you irresistible too,” he tells me. I laughed a little bit as I shook my head, “suck up,” I whispered. Niall squeezed my hand, “I heard that,” he says.

“Good,” I smiled. Niall pulled me closer to him as we kept walking, “I don’t know why I’m being a suck up. I’m not getting sex or even a hand job,” he smirked. I shrugged my shoulders, “it’s not all about you,” I say. Niall wrapped his arm around me under my bag and I did the same to him, “I would get down on my knees when the time is right,” he tells me. I laughed a little bit as I shook my head, “don’t you want my tongue down there?” he questioned.

“I do, but I find it weird talking about it,” I confessed. Niall looked confused, “why?” he asked. I shrugged my shoulders and Niall kissed the side of my head, “I just don’t know. I just find it weird with your tongue down there, but I do love it,” I rambled. Niall laughed a little, “so we can’t talk about oral,” he says. I shook my head, “I don’t mind talking about me doing it to you,” I tell him.

“So we can talk about my dick in your mouth, but we can’t talk about my tongue down there?” he wondered as he pointed down on me. I nodded my head, “I’m going to say it straight out,” he started. I looked at him to continue, “I need to know what goes on down there if you get me,” he tells me. I knew he was talking about when it was that time of the month, “well I made it easy for the both of us. Since I’m on the pill we know when I’m due,” I pointed out.

“You didn’t know when you were due before?” he questioned. This conversation was making me uncomfortable, “I knew, but it was more like give or take days. There was no precise day, but now when I start those white pills. It’s going to happen,” I explained. Niall slowly nodded his head, “when do you start them white pills?” he asked.

“A week,” I replied. Niall slowly nodded his head again, “but after that you don’t have to rubber up,” I added. Niall seemed shocked, “I thought we agreed that it was a backup plan,” he remembered. I sighed as I nodded my head, “but we also did it, so I can jump you when I want,” I tell him. Niall licked his bottom lip, “if you miss one day, throw up not long after you took it or take medication that effects it. I will be wearing a condom if you like it or not,” he warned me. I smiled as nodded my head, “I guess you really don’t want a baby then,” I pouted.

“I will admit that I don’t want one in nine months, but I want one with you in the far future,” he smiled. Niall kissed my forehead when I looked at him, “just one?” I questioned. Niall shrugged his shoulders, “I want four,” I admitted. Niall seemed interested, “I don’t care if there all boys,” I added. Niall smiled big, “I want a mixture,” he says. I never got how comfortable Niall and I were talking about this stuff, “but that means I got to find a big house with a bath. You know how to put pressure on a man,” he joked.

“I could be the one with the job and you could stay home,” I tell him. Niall seemed to like that idea, “but we still got a long time before that,” he smiled. I kissed him after we stopped, “that we do,” I smiled back. I kissed him again, “but we can practise for now,” I added. Niall smiled as he kissed me, “not for a little bit,” he says. I loved how Niall was sticking to his word. Plus, I was seeing his romantic side for once, “I worked out something,” I started.

“And what is that?” Niall questioned. We started walking again, “by the time we have sex again. It won’t be six weeks. It be ten,” I pointed out. Niall nodded his head, “I know,” he says. Niall kissed the top of my head, “it be the longest we went without sex,” I tell him. Niall shook his head, “the longest we went was over a year,” he reminded me. But Niall had sex with other girls while I didn’t, “you still had sex in that year,” I mumbled.

“I slept with two girls while you were gone and it wasn’t until I went to college. However, it all stopped when you showed up,” he confessed. It still made me feel insecure, “but they weren’t that good. They were bad. Like humping my bed was better. But also I think no one could bet you. You were it for me,” he admitted. I kissed him hard, “I love you,” I whispered. Niall kissed me lightly, “I love you. Don’t worry about us. I want you,” he reassured me. He kissed me lightly again, “I want you,” I smiled.

Niall and I kept walking until we got to the car. Niall called the boys to tell them that we were alright and be home after dinner. Niall just wanted to spend a little bit more time with me before we went home. Since I knew that we wouldn’t be alone until we went to bed. We talked about school which was strange to me. Niall was actually excited to read the Harry Potter book series. He was already up to the second book and had a pages of notes of the first book. I was really impressed with him, but Niall does put in a lot of effort when it’s something he likes.

When we finally got back to the apartment it was a mess. It looked like the boys had a party, “Boys!” I yelled. All four of them came running, “welcome home,” Harry smiled. They looked drunk, “have you guys been drinking?” I questioned. They all nodded their heads, “why is the apartment a mess?” I kept questioning them. They looked everywhere part from me, “we got drunk and had fun,” Louis mumbled.

“Well you all going to clean it while I have a shower,” I ordered. They all looked at Niall and he just smiled at them, “you better get started since it’s eight and you all have lesson tomorrow,” he tells them. They all started pouting, “that don’t work with me,” Niall added. I walked away from them to the bathroom.

After I just got into the shower Niall joined me, “they’re cleaning,” he says. Niall wrapped his arms around me from behind. He kissed my shoulder, “if Louis goes to bed drunk. He might have a nightmare,” Niall tells me. I grabbed Niall’s hands, “can Harry handle it?” I wondered. Niall kissed my shoulder again, “I don’t know,” he whispered. I squeezed Niall’s hands, “we will have to wait and see,” I say.

When Niall and I got out of the shower. We got dressed for bed, “we better make sure the kids have cleaned up,” Niall joked. I laughed a little bit, “we also got to put them to bed,” I say. Niall smiled big at me, “don’t smile. We have four drunk boys to look after and one of them might have a nightmare,” I pointed out. Niall came over to me and wrapped his arms around me, “I got it. I’m the stay at home dad remember. I can look after four boys,” he reassured me.

“I know,” I started. I kissed him, “I just want to know why they started drinking on a Sunday,” I admitted. Niall kissed my nose, “it be ok baby. They are grown men,” Niall says. I kissed him, “I don’t care that they are grown men. The house is a mess. If the boys think they can live like this since Sophia not here,” I started rambled. Niall kissed me to stop, “they won’t do that to you. I won’t let them,” Niall tells me. Niall kissed me again, “if they do that to you. I will tear them apart,” he continued. I felt Niall’s hands on my ass, “but I don’t need my boyfriend to stick up,” I say.

“Baby your rambling right now about how messy the apartment is. What if they don’t clean up after themselves for a couple of days?” Niall questioned. He pushed me into him, “they won’t do that,” I whispered. Niall nodded his head and I realized that I live with three boys. I know it’s going to be hard to keep a clean house, “if you kill them. Can you do it in the bathroom? It be easier to clean up,” I joked. Niall kissed me lightly, “yes I will,” he smiled.

We went out to the lounge room to see the boys laying on their backs on the floor. They were looking at the ceiling, “what are you guys doing?” Niall questioned. I looked around to see the apartment was still a mess, “thinking about life,” Louis replied. Niall was looking over them, “how much dope did you guys smoke?” Niall asked. They all just smiled at him, “just go to bed,” Niall ordered.

“But we like it here,” Harry says. Niall rolled his eyes as he shook his head, “fine stay there,” Niall snapped. I grabbed Niall before he could leave, “don’t get upset,” I whispered to him. Niall took a deep breath in, “let’s just go to bed and leave them. We can check on them later,” I added. Niall nodded his head, “goodnight boys. Just remember we got school in the morning,” I reminded them. I blew them all kisses, “yes goodnight,” Niall smiled. The boys started laughing, “keep it in your pants,” Zayn tells us. Niall and I nodded our heads before we walked away.

I sat on my bed with my back against the headboard. Niall was going through his school bag, but it looked like he was thinking, “English in the morning,” I say. Niall nodded his head and I knew he didn’t hear a word, “I might wear the short tight dress,” I kept going. Niall nodded his head again, “I think I won’t even bother putting on undies too,” I finished. Niall didn’t say anything, so I threw my pillow at him. He looked at me, “thank you for listing,” I say sarcastically.

“Sorry Princess. I’m just worried about the boys. I need them to stop doing stupid stuff when you’re around. I don’t want anything to happen to you,” Niall admitted. I patted the spot next to me and he sat down next to me, “I can look after myself,” I reassured him. Niall still looked worried, “accidents happen, but if one of them accidents hurt you. I don’t know what I would do,” he admitted.

“Niall what aren’t you telling me?” I wondered. Niall laid down and put his head in my lap, “It’s my mum. If someone was looking out for her. She wouldn’t have died,” he says. I ran my fingers through his hair, “you can’t blame yourself for your mum. It’s not your fault that we were doing a school concert and she wanted to come,” I tell him. Niall shook his head, “when I didn’t see her in the audience. I was so mad at her. We practise so hard and she wasn’t there. I was calling her all the bad names that I knew and she was dead,” he confessed.

“Still not your fault. You couldn’t have saved her Niall. None of us could,” I tell him. I kissed his forehead, “why does the boys drinking and smoking dope make you think if this?” I questioned. Niall grabbed my hand, “cause I always think of the bad stuff that could happen,” he started. He kissed my hand, “and your all I got,” he whispered.

Niall laid in my lap as I played with his hair, “we should go to bed,” I say. Niall nodded his head before he rolled off my lap, “you get into bed and I’ll cheek the boys,” I added. Niall nodded his head again as I got off my bed. I watched him as he ran his hands over his face.

When I went out to the lounge room the boys were asleep. I threw blankets over them, but as I was checking on Louis. He woke up, “sorry if we upset Niall,” he apologized. I kissed his forehead, “it’s ok, but he probably have a big talk with you guys tomorrow,” I tell him. Louis nodded his head, “he loves you a lot. I understand why he don’t want you to know. He doesn’t want you to hate yourself,” Louis rambled. He fell asleep after that, “goodnight. Sweet dreams,” I whispered.

Niall was asleep when I got back to my room, so I just got in next to him. His back was towards me as he was fast asleep. I moved in closer and wrapped my arm around him. Niall moved in his sleep, but he just grabbed my hand, “I love you,” I whispered. I kissed his back before I closed my eyes.

****
A couple of days pasted and Niall and I were sitting in English. Mr Hall was watching Niall and I closely as we did our assignment. I was so close telling him to stop, but I knew I’ll be in trouble. I’ve been in a bad mood all day and it’s all because I didn’t get a cup of tea this morning. Ever since Sophia left Zayn and Niall have stayed over. They have eaten everything in the apartment and it’s still a mess. Niall told them off about the drugs, but never pushed them to clean up. I spent a couple hours cleaning up after them last night while they went out with the football team.

I just sat there looking at my book not doing anything, “baby you alright?” Niall asked. I looked at him and he looked worried. I sighed as I shrugged my shoulders, “I want to go home, but I can’t. I have to go food shopping for five grown males that don’t know how to look after themselves. I spent hours cleaning up yesterday after you promised that you wouldn’t let them do that to me,” I slightly snapped. Realization came over Niall’s face, “I’m sorry princess,” he apologized.

“Too late. I’m leaving, so I can start the shopping,” I tell him. Niall grabbed my hand, “hey I’ll come with you,” he says. I pulled my hand back, so I can start packing up. Niall did the same, “now you want to help,” I whispered. I knew Niall heard me since he quickly looked at me, “Claire when we get out of here. We are going to talk,” he tells me. I rolled my eyes as I put the last of my English work in my bag.

Once outside Niall stopped me, “talk to me baby,” Niall begged. I shook my head, “I want to get the shopping done, so I can go home and have a nap,” I snapped. Niall put his hands on my hips, so I would stay put, “I have a better plan,” he started. I gave him a small nod for him to continue, “you message Liam the shopping list, so he can do it. I take you home and put you in a nice relaxing bath with candles. If the apartment messy I will clean it up,” he tells me.

“That sounds so much better,” I smiled a little. I placed my hands on his chest as I kissed him lightly, “but I have to check if Liam can do it first,” I added. Niall looked disappointed, “fuck it. We will eat out and if you need anything we will go get it,” Niall says. I laughed a little bit at how serious he was, “let’s just go home. I really would like that bath,” I tell him. I kissed him, “you’re lucky we don’t have football again this week,” he says against my lips.

When we got back to the apartment it was a mess, “what did you boys do after me, Liam and Zayn left this morning?” I questioned. I was getting upset again, “don’t worry about it. I’m going to start the bath,” Niall tells me. He pushed me all the way to my room, “relax until I get you,” he added. Niall ran off as I jumped face first into my bed. I just want a nice relaxing night with Niall.

Ten minutes later I was sitting in the bath with candles all around me. Niall went to clean up the apartment from him and the boys this morning. I closed my eyes as I was enjoying the warm water. All my anger was soaking away, “Niall!” I heard Liam shout. I groaned as I sunk into the water more. I could still hear all of them talking to each other, “did Claire do the shopping?” I heard Harry ask. I quickly got out of the bath and put on my short silk dressing gown.

I went out to the lounge room to see Harry, Louis, Liam and Zayn, “no I haven’t,” I snapped. I looked around to see Fred, Brenton and two other guys there as well. I knew my dressing gown was wet and sticking to me, but I was angry. Niall was frowning at me, “calm your tits,” Liam joked. I couldn’t take it anymore, so I punched Liam in the face. Everyone including me were shocked, but Niall grabbed me.

He took me all the way back to the bathroom. He slowly undid my dressing gown, “you’re getting back in the bath and I’m going to join you,” Niall tells me. He pushed my dressing gown off my shoulders. Niall quickly undressed himself, “I don’t want to talk Niall,” I say. Niall nodded his head as he grabbed my hands. Both of us were naked, but we just standing there, “better get in,” I added.

I sat against Niall in the bath. We haven’t said anything to each other. Niall just been running his fingers up and down my back, “party tomorrow night at the frat house,” Niall tells me. I nodded my head, “do I have to dress up?” I asked. Niall shook his head, “you can wear whatever you want, but nothing too slutty. I have to keep it in my pants,” he smiled. I knew he was making a joke to lighten the mood, “I was think something simple since I don’t have to impress people,” I say.

“Yes track pants,” he joked. I knew we were just making conversation now, “maybe,” I whispered. There was a knock on the bathroom door, “guys it’s Harry. Can we talk?” he asked. I shook my head as Niall looked at me, “go away,” Niall tells him. I took in a deep breath, “please,” Harry begged. Niall wrapped his arms around me tight, “No!” Niall shouted. Niall kissed the top of my head, “we’re sorry for whatever we did,” Harry apologized.

“Just go away,” I snapped. I was getting upset again, so I hid my face into Niall’s chest, “hey it’s going to be alright,” Niall cooed. Niall rubbed my back, “I don’t think it is Niall,” I mumbled into his chest. Niall hugged me tight, “talk to me,” he whispered. I shook my head, “I don’t want to right now,” I tell him. Niall kissed the top of my head a couple of times, “please,” he begged. I moved back as I shook my head again, “I’m getting out,” I say.

When I got out the bath. Niall did too, “I think we should talk Claire,” he tells me. Niall was getting upset with me since I wouldn’t talk to him, “like I said Niall. I don’t want to talk,” I reminded him. Niall groaned at me, but I ignored him. Once I had a towel wrapped around me tight. I walked out of the bathroom to my room. Niall quickly followed me before I could lock him out.

I got dress in a pair of track pants and a t-shirt and so did Niall. I sat on my bed looking out my window, “Claire why don’t you want to talk to me?” Niall asked. He sat down next to me, “I don’t see the point,” I tell him. Niall looked confused, “I do. Your upset about something,” he argued. I just looked at him, “like you I don’t want to talk about everything. So just leave it alone Niall,” I snapped.

“Don’t bring up my scars right now,” he warned. I got off of my bed, “then don’t ask what’s wrong,” I say. Niall shook his head as he looked away from me, “don’t do this Claire,” he sighed. I really didn’t care that I was upsetting Niall, “don’t what? Don’t be like you?” I questioned. Niall frowned at me, “don’t be a bitch Claire. Your treading on thin ice,” he tells me.

“I’m treading on thin ice,” I laughed. Niall was getting angry, “I’m the caring girlfriend that’s left in the dark. No one really cares about how I feel about stuff, so why talk about it? It’s not like you’re going to doing anything,” I argued. I saw hurt in Niall’s eyes, “that fucken hurt Claire. You know I care,” he says. I shook my head, “I think you should go,” I whispered.

“Why? Cause I want to know what going on with you,” he snapped. I walked to my door, but Niall put his hands on my door before I could open it. My body was trapped between his and the door. I could feel him breathing down my neck, “I’ve had enough tonight Niall,” I mumbled. I turned around as I was still trapped, “baby just tell me what’s wrong,” he begged.

“I will when you tell me about your scars,” I tell him. Niall pushed himself off my door, “fine. I’ll leave,” he says. I started crying even tho I was trying to hold them back, “is that it?” I questioned. Niall ran his hand through his hair and I flinched. I guess Max did leave something behind, “don’t fucken do that,” Niall snapped.

“I’m sorry Niall that I have a nervous tick. I wasn’t in a great relationship before you,” I said sarcastically. Niall just looked at me, “and who’s fault was that?” he asked. I felt like my heart break a little bit, “get the fuck out now Niall,” I spat. I walked away from the door, “Claire I’m sorry,” he apologized.

“Just get out Niall,” I mumbled. Niall came over to me, “I love you,” he tells me. He kissed my forehead, “I love you,” I whispered. Niall kissed my forehead again, “I’m going back to the frat house and I will be taking the guys with me,” he says. I nodded my head, “be safe,” I mumbled.

After Niall left I sat on my bed looking at my window again. The apartment went quiet, but I heard someone walking around. I didn’t really care as long as they left me alone. I can’t believe Niall and I had fight like that. What is wrong with me? My mind was all over the place, “Claire?” I heard Liam questioned. I looked at my door and he was standing there with two cups in his hands, “can I join you?” he wondered. I nodded my head, so Liam came over to me. He put the cups down on the window ledge before he sat down next to me, “sorry for punching you,” I apologized.

“Sorry for pushing you,” Liam apologized back. I looked out the window, “I’m sorry that we are asses to you. You didn’t ask to be the only girl here. You have to put up with five loud, messy, stupid boys and two don’t live here,” he continued. Liam grabbed my hand, “you’re not here to look after us. We should be looking after you,” he kept going. I felt tears in my eyes, “I’m also going to make sure that there’s milk all the time. I’m also going to start cleaning up after myself,” he says.

“You better,” I smiled a little bit. Liam laughed a little bit, “Liam why am I losing everyone?” I questioned. Liam squeezed my hand, “because they don’t fit in your life anymore, but that don’t mean that you’ll forget them. I’ll never forget Soph even if we weren’t having a kid together. She was a big part of my life and we had some amazing times. It’s just we want something different,” Liam admitted.

“She knows a lot about me. I’m also finding it hard being the only girl in the house. I wanted a nice relaxing bath as Niall cleaned up for me. I wanted to go out and do the shopping by myself,” I rambled. Liam smiled a little, “well if you want. We could go shopping and I could buy you dinner,” Liam suggested. I nodded my head, “let me get dressed,” I smiled. I quickly put some jeans and another t-shirt on before Liam and I left the house.

When we got to the shops Liam seemed happy that we were shopping for food, but halfway through the shopping, “I know you getting annoyed with a house full of boys, but Zayn wants to move in. If Niall wants to as well he can,” Liam tells me. I nodded my head, “Zayn practically lives there, but I don’t know about Niall. He still likes living at the frat house,” I pointed out.

“Niall been with you for over a week. I think you need to ask him,” he says. I don’t know about me and Niall living together, “if you’re ready,” Liam added. I shrugged my shoulders, “I really don’t know. He threw Max in my face tonight,” I admitted. Liam slowly nodded his head, “but you also asked about his scars. His very protective about them,” Liam reminded me.

“I know Louis knows and that’s hurts, but it helped Louis,” I tell him. Liam wrapped an arm around me, “he will tell you one day,” he reassured me. Liam and I stopped in front of the condoms, “stock up,” he smirked. I looked over them, “did Niall tell you that the pill a back-up plan?” I asked. I picked up a box that I saw in Niall’s sport bag, “no, but it is a good thing tho. Soph was on the pill and now she pregnant. All I’m saying is don’t throw away the condoms just yet,” Liam smiled.

After we finished shopping we decided to get some Chinese before heading home. Liam wanted to watch some movies with me since I needed to relax. So when we got home and put the shopping away. Liam set up the coffee table with our Chinese food as I picked the movie. I was never a girly girl, but I did like watching Moulin Rouge. It always made me happy, but of course Liam whinged a little bit.

When we were halfway through the movie Louis and Harry came home. Louis had a big bunch of flowers, “for you,” he says as he knelt in front of me. I looked over the flowers, “thank you Louis,” I smiled. I kissed his cheek, “I’ll go put these in a vase,” he tells me. Harry sat next to me and handed me a small box, “guys you don’t have to do this, because I snapped today,” I say.

“Yes we do. We haven’t been looking after you, but you were looking after us. We are horrible people for making you snap and making you fight with Niall,” Harry apologized. I shook my head, “don’t worry about me and Niall. I’ll talk to him tomorrow,” I reassured him. Harry kissed my cheek, “open it,” Harry smiled. I opened the box to find a rose gold ring. It had a rose quartz stone in between two small cubic zirconia. It was beautiful and it fitted on my index finger, “thank you,” I say.

“Don’t worry about it,” he tells me. Harry wrapped an arm around me, “do you want to call Niall and see if he wants to stay?” Liam asked. I shook my head, “I need more time to get over our fight,” I admitted. Harry kissed the top of my head, “let finish the movie,” Harry says.

****
I was getting ready to go the party at the frat house tonight. I messaged Niall today, but he didn’t answer. I was going to go simple tonight. I didn’t need to impress anyone. I was officially with Niall and everyone knew that. So I went with a dark pink lacy lingerie set for Niall. I put my black skinny jeans over the top with a hot pink off the shoulder top. I did my makeup simple, but lightly curled my hair and put in a metal head band. I put on my Black suede ankle boots to complete my look.

http://www.polyvore.com/party_surprises/set?id=206141663

We arrived at the frat house about ten o’clock. I stopped Liam from going in, “behave. I know girls what to do anything for you, but safety first,” I tell him. Liam smiled as he pulled a couple of condoms out of his pocket, “already got one baby on the way. I don’t need another,” he says. I patted him on the back, “go find Niall,” he added. I nodded my head before we went inside.

I found Zayn in the kitchen already drunk talking to a guy I haven’t seen before, “Claire!” Zayn yelled. I laughed as he hugged me, “drink up!” he added. I pushed him away, “I will when I find Niall,” I tell him. Zayn shrugged his shoulders, “I saw him smoking outside before,” he says. I wasn’t surprised that Niall was smoking. I knew he occasionally has one, but so did I, “thanks,” I smiled.

I went out the back to see Fred talking to Jess, but Jess noticed me, “wow you look cute,” she says. She hugged me tight, “you look amazing as always,” I smiled. Jess was wearing white with black spots mini skirt with matching crop top. I knew Jess wasn’t wearing this to hook up with a guy. This was just Jess, “Hi. Sorry about yesterday, but you got Liam a good one,” Fred says. He also hugged me, “don’t worry about it, but have you seen Niall?” I wondered.

“His inside somewhere,” Jess tells me. Jess pulled me away from Fred, “Claire I really like Fred,” she whispered. Fred was watching us, “he likes you too,” I whispered back. I kissed her cheek before I pushed her back over to Fred.

I went inside to find Niall. I decided that I was going to start with his room, but it was empty. However, I noticed that his bedside table draw was open. I stopped myself from looking in his journal. I need to see him first, so I could say that I was sorry. We needed to talk about what was going on with us. I know that I can’t push Niall to tell me about his scars.

I stood in the hallway thinking where Niall could be. Louis and Harry came up to me, “you alright?” Harry wondered. I nodded my head, “I just can’t find Niall,” I say. Harry started thinking, “he be hiding somewhere like we are about too,” Louis smiled. I smiled at them as Louis ran down the hallway, “good luck,” I tell Harry. He smiled big at me, “Niall used to like hiding in the bathroom, so I would try there,” Harry says. I gave him a small nod before he ran off with Louis.

When I walked into the bathroom near Niall’s room. I found him. He was sitting down on the edge of the bath dressed in blue jeans and a red plaid button up shirt. But that wasn’t what caught my attention. It was the razor blade that he moved against his wrist. Blood was coming out, but he just watched it. He didn’t even notice me standing there. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. I just walked in on Niall cutting himself and my heart broke.

When he finally looked at me with the bloody razor blade in his hand. He looked broken, but truth be told I never realized that he was this broken. That he has to do this to himself. I tried to take the razor blade off of him, but he didn’t let it go, “Niall,” I cried. The razor blade cut into my skin on my hand and I pulled back. Blood was pouring down my hand, “Buttercup,” Niall whispered. He dropped the razor blade to grab my hand. Niall grabbed a hand towel then wrapped it around my hand. He didn’t look at me, “Ni,” I say. He didn’t say anything or even look at me. I ran my other hand through his hair, “I’m sorry,” he mumbled. I made him look at me as tears were coming down his face. I kissed him and he kissed me back. I pulled away and rested my forehead against his, “why?” I wondered.

“Cause it hurts less,” he admitted. I kissed him lightly, “if you feel like this again. Come find me and do it to me. You have enough scars on your beautiful body without adding more,” I tell him. Niall looked at me with wide eyes, “I can’t,” he whispered. I kissed his forehead, “let’s get out of here,” I say. I take a step back, but Niall didn’t let go of my hand. He just looked at it, so I grabbed another hand towel. I put it on his wrist, “I want to tell you that I won’t do it again, but I can’t Buttercup,” he confessed. I pulled Niall up, “let’s just get out of here,” I tell him.

“Ok,” he says. He let go of my hand and I held the hand towel around my hand. Niall cleaned himself up, but his wrist wouldn’t stop bleeding. He wrapped it back up with the hand towel, “where will we go?” he asked. I didn’t like Niall voice at the moment. It was quiet and hurt, “back to the apartment. No one going to be home until tomorrow night,” I replied. Niall gave me a small nod, “can I pack a bag?” he wondered. I nodded my head, “thanks,” he says.

I stood in his room as he packed a bag. Niall looked lost and hurt, so I hugged him from behind. He ran his fingers along my arm, “Buttercup I could never hurt you,” he whispered. I kissed his back, “too late,” I admitted. I kissed his back again, “just hurry up, so we can go,” I tell him. I let go of him, “how are we meant to get to the apartment?” he questioned. He threw clothes into his sports bag, “bus, taxi or walk,” I replied. Niall laughed a little bit and I was happy to hear it, “I can drive. I didn’t drink tonight,” he tells me. I raised an eyebrow, “you promise?” I wondered. I knew Niall would never drink and drive, but his not himself tonight, “promise,” he smiled.

Niall drove to the apartment and soon as we got in I took Niall to the bathroom. I grabbed the first aid kit out, “let me do you first,” he tells me. I handed him the first aid kit before I removed the hand towel from my hand. The hand towel was covered in blood and my hand was still bleeding. Niall moved my hand under running water to clean off the blood. When he found the cut he put the hand towel back on it as he pushed down on it, “sorry if I’m hurting you,” he apologized. I kissed his cheek, “not that much,” I tell him.

After a while Niall moved the hand towel away, “ok it’s slowed down enough to put a couple of butterfly’s on and wrap it up,” he explained. I looked over the concentration on his face, “this not the first time is it?” I asked. Niall shook his head, “you might need to do it to me,” he says. Niall got out an alcohol wipe, “now I got to clean it, so it’s going to hurt. Bite my shoulder,” he tells me. I wrapped my arm around him as I hid my face into Niall’s shoulder, “ready?” he wondered. I nodded my head before he kissed the side of it. As soon as the alcohol wipe hit my cut. I screamed into Niall’s shoulder, “baby bite,” Niall ordered. I shook my head as I dug my fingers into him. Niall moved the alcohol wipe away from my hand, “not done yet baby, but please bite me. It helps,” he begged. Niall put another alcohol wipe on my cut and this time I bit his shoulder. I felt tears in my eyes, “nearly done baby. Just a couple more seconds,” he cooed.

When he was done I stepped back to catch my breath, “the hard bit over now,” Niall says. He wiped away my tears on my face, “how’s your shoulder?” I asked. I moved Niall top and his shoulder had my teeth marks, “it’s going to bruise, but I’ll be alright,” he smiled. Niall made me sit down on the toilet lid, “now don’t move for this part. It shouldn’t hurt,” he tells me. I nodded my head as he got out a couple of butterfly’s stiches out. He kneeled down in front of me and put my hand on my lap.

When Niall was done wrapping my hand he washed his wrist. I stood up to watch him, “let me do that,” I say. I moved Niall hand away from his wrist, so I could wash all the blood off. He stood behind me as he watched me. His wrist was still bleeding, “just do what I did to you,” he tells me. I grabbed his bloody hand towel and pushed it against his cut, “bit harder baby,” he says. I pushed down harder as Niall placed his hand on my lower back. I moved the hand towel away, “now the alcohol wipes?” I questioned. Niall shook his head, “just butterfly’s and wrap it up,” he tells me.

“No. It will get infected,” I augured. Niall looked down, “you want it to get infected, so it leaves a bigger scar. Don’t you?” I wondered. Niall sighed as he nodded his head. I got out an alcohol wipe and put it straight onto his cut, “fuck,” he swore. He dug his fingers into my back as he hid his face between my shoulder blades.

When I finished wrapping up Niall’s wrist he moved away from me. I started to clean up our mess, “um thanks Buttercup,” he mumbled. I looked at him, “I don’t want to have to do that again Niall,” I tell him. Niall looked down as I threw the rubbish in the bin. I also threw the hand towels in the bin too before I put away the first aid kit. I looked at Niall and I noticed that his top was covered in blood, “Ni give me your top,” I say. Niall looked at me confused as I filled the sink up with hot water. He slowly takes his top off and I couldn’t help, but look at his scars on his body. He still won’t tell me what there from, “don’t bother getting blood out. I’ll just get a new top,” he tells me.

“But I like that top,” I admitted. I take his top off of him and put it straight into the hot water, “what about yours?” he asked. I looked down to see my top covered in blood. I took it off before putting in the sink with his. I grabbed a wash cloth and ran warm water through it. I went over to Niall to start washing the blood off that came through his top. I purposely ran the cloth over his scars, “why won’t you tell me about how you got these scars?” I wondered. Niall shook his head, “because I’m over it and there just scars now,” he tells me.

“You know that’s a lie. You’re not over it. You’re just adding more scars to it. Niall you can blame me, but I want to know what happened. So I can start blaming myself,” I begged. Niall grabbed my wrists, “just drop it. I’m not in the mood for a heart to heart,” he snapped. I shook my head, “just tell me,” I demanded. Niall pushed me against the wall, “Greg!” he yelled. I was shocked, “he blames me for dad leaving!” he added.

“Niall,” I whispered. Niall started crying, so I pulled him to me. So while I was in Australia Greg was abusing Niall and Niall had nowhere to run. Niall was all alone going through this shit. I pulled Niall’s face up, so I could kiss him. Niall kissed me back, but it felt desperate and rushed. Niall picked me up and I wrapped my legs around him. I put my hand through the back of his hair as he kissed down my neck.

Niall carried me all the way to my bedroom. He placed me onto my bed as he hovered over me. He looked right into my eyes, “can I get lost in you and forget everything?” he wondered. I nodded my head since I wanted the same. Niall kissed me hard as he hands moved down my body. He started rubbing me threw my pants and I dug my fingers into his back. He started to leave open mouth kisses down my body to the tops of my pants. He undid them slowly before he pulled them off with my knickers. Niall ran his hands up my thighs all the way to my waist. He pulled me up, so he could take off my bra. I laid back down and Niall started sucking on one of my nipples, “this is all I need,” he whispered to himself.

“Niall,” I moaned. I tried to squeeze my legs shut, but Niall was between them. As Niall kept sucking my nipple I felt his hand move between my legs. He rubbed his finger up and down my slit a couple of times before he entered a finger into me. He slowly moved his finger in and out of me, “more Niall,” I begged. Niall hovered over me as he put another finger in me. He continued to slowly move them in and out of me. I grabbed to top of Niall’s pants and started pushing them down. Niall pulled his fingers out of me as I made him lay on his back. I pulled his pants off with his boxers before I started kissing his neck to down his body. I made sure to kiss every scar that I could see. Niall stopped me before I put his member in my mouth, “I don’t want that,” he says. He laid me down, “I’ll be back. I need to get a condom,” he added.

“I have some,” I tell him. Niall smiled a little as he went into my draw, “already out of the box,” he smirked. He kissed me after he got one out. Niall sat up to put the condom on himself. He moved my legs apart a bit more, “ready?” he asked. I nodded my head as I felt the tip of his member at my entrance. Niall slowly entered me, “fuck,” he groaned. I pulled him down to me as he started moving in and out of me slowly. This felt different then the last time. It felt like pure want. Niall kept the same pace and I dug my fingers into his back. He rested his forehead against mine as he watched me. Niall kept placing small kisses to my lips between breaths. I felt like I was about to cum, “Niall,” I moaned.

“I’m close to baby,” he puffed. He only got a little bit faster before I came undone underneath him. Niall came about the same time as he closed his eyes tight and bit his bottom lip. It was the hottest thing to me. To watch him come undone in front of me and all because of us. I don’t want us to end.

Niall waited a little bit before rolling off of me. Niall got up before I could wrap my arm around him, “I’ll be back,” he tells me. He left the room and I had to watch him leave. I felt cold now since he was gone, so I got under the covers facing the window. I wonder what’s going to happen after tonight. I know the truth behind the scars.

After a couple minutes I heard my door close then I felt my bed dip. Niall put his arm around my waist, “you alright now?” I wondered. I felt Niall nod his head as I grabbed his hand. I pulled it to my face and kissed his bandaged wrist lightly. Niall kissed my neck, “will you be here in the morning?” I asked. Niall kissed my neck again, “I have nowhere else to be,” he says. Niall pulled me closer as we both fell asleep.

I woke up about an hour later with Niall still wrapped around me. I wish what happened tonight was a bad dream, but when I saw Niall’s wrist I knew it wasn’t. Louis was right I do hate myself. Niall was going through hell and I wasn’t there. If I didn’t leave and go through my own hell. Niall and I would be alright. We wouldn’t have this crap, “baby you alright?” Niall questioned. I shook my head, so Niall turned me around to face him. He wiped the tears on my face, “don’t worry about me. I’m alight,” he says.

“I Just want to know why? I hate myself for letting you do this to yourself,” I cried. Niall kissed me, “please don’t hate yourself baby. You didn’t know,” he cooed. I shook my head, “I think I did. I always noticed when you wore a bunch of bracelets or long-sleeves. I just didn’t want it to be true,” I admitted. Niall pulled me closer to him, “it’s ok. I’m the idiot,” he tells me. I kissed his neck, “but your mine,” I whispered. Niall kissed the top of my head, “I’m yours,” he whispered back.

We laid there not saying anything, “we broke our promise,” Niall says. I looked at him, “we had sex. We only lasted about two weeks” he added. I knew he was trying to change the subject, “I don’t want to start over again. I think we’re going to be alright. I think our relationship is the strongest it has ever been. I love you Niall James Horan and I want you to move in,” I admitted. Niall looked shocked, “you sure?” he questioned.

“I am. You practically here all the time. Why not just move in? But we are so swapping rooms with Liam. If I’m going to share with five guys I want my own bathroom,” I smiled. Niall kissed me, “Zayn moving in too?” he questioned. I nodded my head, “poor you,” he teased. I kissed him, “I don’t think so. I think it’s poor you in a couple of days,” I smiled. I kissed him again, “maybe we should move us tomorrow,” he suggested. He looked serious, “got to talk to the other boys first,” I say.

“No we don’t we just move Liam’s stuff into the spare room. He can deal with it later. I’ll make sure that his got a bed,” he smiled. Niall seemed to like the idea of moving in with me, “do we keep my bed or do you want to get a new one?” I asked. Niall shrugged his shoulders, “I like your bed, so there’s no rush to replace it. I just don’t want our room to be girly,” he tells me. I nodded my head, “it won’t be,” I say.

Notes