Damaged
Hurt myself again today And the worst part is there's no one else to blame
It had been three months since the party where i fell asleep in zayn's arms, i haven't really spoken to him since. the burns stopped and i have recovered. But don't think that stopped the beatings or the impossibly good feeling cutting. ok so you can think, Emo, and what not but i don't give a shit.
Dawson was at work and i sat with the Blade in my hands. i played with it, and contemplated over whether or not to actually cut, Screw it i was going to cut, just was it going to be a word or the usual lines that i drew? i knew it. I took the edge of the blade, and sliced. i drew it is curved before stopping and going below to write a word. i Drew an infinity sign and under it i wrote my mothers name, Jaime. you must be thinking that is painful and ugly. but i love the pain. and i am an experienced cutter mind you. So the lacerations were smooth and and looked almost like a tattoo.
Tired of being alone i got dressed into something more suiting for Uncle Vito's. i grabbed the keys to my car and drove to the shack. I walked in and i saw my brother just chillin, with who? Zayn. Instantly My little brother piped up.
"yo! Rayne!" He hopped up and hugged me. He grabbed my freshly cut wrist and pulled me onto the couch. i winced in pain but no one noticed. I hoped. i was in a mopey mood, not in one to explain how i was the only one remembered the day my mother went missing.
"Hey, Josh, Zayn." i mumbled.
-Zayn POV-
I saw her wrist. cut and wounded. but she was just so beautiful, why would she do this. she curled into her brother,and i had this thing inside of me, i wanted to hug her.
"Hey I will be right back. I don't know anyone who is here other than Vito and Zayn. Vito is making deals so stay with Zayn got it?" Josh asked her in a soft tone. She kissed his forehead as he moved away. He got up and shot me a look. I nodded and opened my arms for Rayne.
•••• Rayne Pov••••
"Why is it always you who comforts me?" I asked resting my head on his shoulder and wrapping my arms around his waist.
"Well I was your best friend before. So maybe I am the only one who gives a fuck." He answered pulling me closer to him.
"You really remember?" Was all I could manage.
"How in the hell could I forget you. You were the only other good thing in my life aside from my family. You and I may be different, but I still consider you my friend." He kissed my forehead"did you forget me?" He asked.
"How could I ever forget you? You were my first, and sometimes when Dawson would hurt me, I would pray you would come bust through those doors, and stop him, pick me up and take me away." I answered moving myself into his lap and curling into a ball.
"If I knew were you were, I would have done more than just hurt him. His neck would probably be broken." He answered resting his chin on my head.
"Tell me what did he do to you Raye?" He asked an uncertainty in his voice.
"He raped me, burned me, beat me, such as kicking, slapping. He cut me. Allowed his filthy gang members have free will with me, so basically they do the same things" I Answered with a shaky voice. I need to be strong. I am not weak!
"Please tell me your lying." He practically begged me.
"No, Zayn I am not. He still does those things!" I answered.
"Why didn't you run away to find me. You knew where I was why not come find me?" He was a little flustered.
"I did. But he found me before I could get to your hangout. Twice I ran away and he found me. I just gave up." I was crying now. He was always the only one, no matter how hard I tried to build a wall,broke it down.
"Well not anymore. He will just have to realize, your not his. You belong to someone else." He mumbled.
I smiled.
"And who would that be?" I questioned hoping he would say him.
"Me." He whispered in my ear before wiping away access tears with his thumb.
I smiled even wider."So we are best friends again huh?"
"Yes. And soon I will teach that ass wipe a lesson and then you be mine." He smiled.
"You better get you ass to it then." I laughed. And kissed his forehead.
Dawson was at work and i sat with the Blade in my hands. i played with it, and contemplated over whether or not to actually cut, Screw it i was going to cut, just was it going to be a word or the usual lines that i drew? i knew it. I took the edge of the blade, and sliced. i drew it is curved before stopping and going below to write a word. i Drew an infinity sign and under it i wrote my mothers name, Jaime. you must be thinking that is painful and ugly. but i love the pain. and i am an experienced cutter mind you. So the lacerations were smooth and and looked almost like a tattoo.
Tired of being alone i got dressed into something more suiting for Uncle Vito's. i grabbed the keys to my car and drove to the shack. I walked in and i saw my brother just chillin, with who? Zayn. Instantly My little brother piped up.
"yo! Rayne!" He hopped up and hugged me. He grabbed my freshly cut wrist and pulled me onto the couch. i winced in pain but no one noticed. I hoped. i was in a mopey mood, not in one to explain how i was the only one remembered the day my mother went missing.
"Hey, Josh, Zayn." i mumbled.
-Zayn POV-
I saw her wrist. cut and wounded. but she was just so beautiful, why would she do this. she curled into her brother,and i had this thing inside of me, i wanted to hug her.
"Hey I will be right back. I don't know anyone who is here other than Vito and Zayn. Vito is making deals so stay with Zayn got it?" Josh asked her in a soft tone. She kissed his forehead as he moved away. He got up and shot me a look. I nodded and opened my arms for Rayne.
•••• Rayne Pov••••
"Why is it always you who comforts me?" I asked resting my head on his shoulder and wrapping my arms around his waist.
"Well I was your best friend before. So maybe I am the only one who gives a fuck." He answered pulling me closer to him.
"You really remember?" Was all I could manage.
"How in the hell could I forget you. You were the only other good thing in my life aside from my family. You and I may be different, but I still consider you my friend." He kissed my forehead"did you forget me?" He asked.
"How could I ever forget you? You were my first, and sometimes when Dawson would hurt me, I would pray you would come bust through those doors, and stop him, pick me up and take me away." I answered moving myself into his lap and curling into a ball.
"If I knew were you were, I would have done more than just hurt him. His neck would probably be broken." He answered resting his chin on my head.
"Tell me what did he do to you Raye?" He asked an uncertainty in his voice.
"He raped me, burned me, beat me, such as kicking, slapping. He cut me. Allowed his filthy gang members have free will with me, so basically they do the same things" I Answered with a shaky voice. I need to be strong. I am not weak!
"Please tell me your lying." He practically begged me.
"No, Zayn I am not. He still does those things!" I answered.
"Why didn't you run away to find me. You knew where I was why not come find me?" He was a little flustered.
"I did. But he found me before I could get to your hangout. Twice I ran away and he found me. I just gave up." I was crying now. He was always the only one, no matter how hard I tried to build a wall,broke it down.
"Well not anymore. He will just have to realize, your not his. You belong to someone else." He mumbled.
I smiled.
"And who would that be?" I questioned hoping he would say him.
"Me." He whispered in my ear before wiping away access tears with his thumb.
I smiled even wider."So we are best friends again huh?"
"Yes. And soon I will teach that ass wipe a lesson and then you be mine." He smiled.
"You better get you ass to it then." I laughed. And kissed his forehead.
Notes
Rayne Outfit:http://www.polyvore.com/hanging_with_peeps/set?id=83839708
COMMENT,VOTE,SUBSCRIBE!!!!!
HOPE YOU LIKE!!;)
TITTLE CREDITS;Breathe Me,Sia
8/1/13