No Control

The next morning, my eyes open to see that handsome face that I wake up to every morning. Then my heart drops as I realize that I won’t be waking up to that face tomorrow. Liam wakes and says “Good morning love.” That’s when the tears come. I won’t hear that beautiful british voice wishing me good morning either.
Liam pulls me in to a tighter embrace. “Please don’t cry love.” He wipes away my tears.
“I’m sorry. It’s just so hard.” I say while trying to hold back tears. “I know it is. It’s hard for me too. Everyone keeps telling me, it’s only four days. To me that feels like forever. I love you so much Liz.”
“I love you too Liam. I need us to be together one more time before I go.”
Liam looks at me with a look that I swear touches my soul. He begins to kiss me sweetly. His hands glide over my body gently. We slowly and sweetly come apart together. Liam kisses away the tears slipping out of my eyes. His glisten with moisture as well. “Are you alright?” He asks me quietly.
“Yes, that was just so beautiful.” I tell him. He wraps me in his arms and sings our song to me softly in my ear. I close my eyes and take in every perfect note, every perfect word.
As we get ready I take the note I wrote Liam last night and put it where he will find it after I leave. I spray a bit of my perfume on it.
“Liam,
Thank you for supporting my career and convincing me to go on this trip, even though I will miss you every minute. I can’t wait to get back to you.
I haven’t always been treated well in the past, but you are so good to me that you take away all the pain.
The love I feel for you is more than I ever thought possible. You and I were made for each other.
Amore Vero. Per Sempre.
I love you always,
Your Liz”
Caroline texts me that she is ready to leave whenever I am. Liam walks in the room. He’s so handsome my heart skips a beat. “It’s time for me to go.” I say quietly. Liam wraps me in his arms, kisses me on the head and whispers in my ear. “This won’t be easy for either of us. I’m really trying to be strong for you love.”
He pulls me back and his eyes meet mine. “I’ll miss you every moment babe. You have full control of my heart. I love you. Promise me you’ll be careful.” He tells me.
“I will. You be careful too.” My hands are on his chest. I touch the ring on my left hand.
“I love you Liam. You mean everything to me.”
Our eyes stay locked on each other. I’m not sure how long we remain like that before Liam leans in for a kiss. Tender kisses, knowing anything more, and I won’t be able to leave.
Liam takes my hand and we head out to the hallway. Paddy and Caroline are waiting there.
I reach up and put my arms tightly around Liam’s neck. I let my body mold to his, getting as close as possible. He holds me tight and rubs my back. Then he whispers roughly in my ear. “You just wait till you get back, I’m gonna have you screaming till you lose your voice.”
I suddenly feel very warm. Liam has sparked a fire in me, but I also know he’s trying to make me smile.
I pull back and give him that smile he’s looking for. “Is that a promise?’ I ask.
He grins. “Absolutely.” We both laugh.
“Liz?” Caroline says cautiously. I look at her and nod my head.
Turning back to Liam, I take his hands in mine. “I love you and I’ll see you soon.” Tears are in my eyes. Liam kisses my left hand, near the ring. “I love you too. Please text me when you get to the airport.” He tells me with a bit of a quiver in his voice.
“I will.” I say as I reluctantly release my hands from his and I turn to go. I turn back once and Liam is struggling to smile at me. Caroline and I head to the elevator. I look back again. Liam smiles and puts his hand on his heart. He mouths “I love you”. I mouth “I love you more” back. I turn and enter the elevator. As the doors begin to close, I see that Liam has turned away from me. There’s a mirror at the end of the hall. I can see Liam in it. He has tears streaming down his face. Paddy has his hand on Liam’s back, talking to him.
My hearts breaks. The tears I’ve tried so hard to hold back flow freely now as the elevator doors close.

Notes