*5 a.m.; the day after the funeral*

"No. No!" I hear it.

I hear the regret in her voice. I can hear it, Michael. I know you can, too.

"Stop. Talking." I pound at my head, straightening my glasses and focusing on my laptop.

Michael, stop trying to procrastinate. I know that you can hear me, and hear her too.

"Dad, stop!" I am now yelling, looking at my door in case my mother woke up from her nightmare.

I sigh as the voice disappears, my head foggy with the thoughts of what just happened. It has been a day so far, and luckily I have been able to occupy myself. I smile and pat myself on the back, my success a going concern still. I look up and shut my laptop, padding my feet over to my door and jogging over to my moms' room. The door was open and her sheets were every where. The duvet at the edge of her bed.

"Mom?" I creak in and stop.

Take care of her, Mikey. Take care of her please.

I jump far too back.. 'Stop scaring me like that.' I shake my head and look at her, sighing. I walk into her master bathroom, standing in front of the mirror. I lift my shirt, looking at my shrunken stomach, my hands wrap around the muscle.

I suck in, my gut going to my back and my ribs are showing. I unsink my belly and shake my head, keeping from crying.

"You don't cry. Stop." I growl and pull my shirt down, slamming the door and caring less if I woke my mother up. I go back in my room and pull a hoodie over my head, my glasses being fixed on my face as I walk out of the house and into my car. I sit in my car and I was just so frustrated.

And for the first time I realized that I was lonely. I realized that I was in this life alone and I had no one. The last person I had was my dad, and that is all I have ever had. Before I could think about where I was going, I was on the road, my eyes cloudy.

Notes

s o r r y t h i s c h a p t e r i s s o s h o r t .

I will make sure my next few chapters are longer. With love killjoys. xx

g r a c e e