I was only the second guy she had been with, and I had acted like an animal. I had not given us any time to get to know one another, and yet I had known her carnally multiple times. And oh god, I wanted to know her again.
I was loading the dishwasher when a knock on the door startled me. “Allie.” I thought, thinking that she had decided to come back, but when I opened the door, “Zayn?”
“Not interrupting, am I?” he asked as he squeezed past me.
“I guess not.” I mumble, a little hurt that Allie had not decided to come back.
“How was dinner?” he asked both honestly curious and in a mocking, motherly tone.
“It was actually delicious.” I replied.
“Does she have fiery red hair?” He asked me.
“Yeah, how do you know?” my mind was racing, how would he know this. What was really happening?
“I saw her in the lobby. She didn’t even give me a second glance.” His tone telling me that he was a little bit hurt.
“Oh, that’s it?” I started. “But that is a good sign, isn’t it? If she didn’t look at you, maybe she was telling the truth when she said that she has no idea I am famous, or who our band is.”
“Liam, you need to stop over thinking this. Seriously, just chill. Let’s sit, man.” I followed Zayn to the living room and sat on the couch. “Look, I know that you have had your heart ripped out. First with Danielle, then again with Kim, and a few in-between. You give your all to every girl you fall in love with, but that does not mean that you should give up on this one. I have known you a long time; we have gone through a lot together and because of the things we have gone through, I think I get you better.”
“Where are you going with this?” I asked.
“I can see it in your eyes, Liam, and I think you are just too scared to admit it to yourself. You really like her. Possibly more then you have ever liked someone before. Liam, you need to follow this one, to let your heart dictate where to go from here. Listen to it, it will tell you where you need to go and how to proceed.”
I shook my head, “How do you do that? How do you know me better than I know myself?” Taking a deep breath to steady myself, I continued, “I wasn’t planning on telling any of you for a while longer, not until I knew how I felt and how she felt.”
“Then it is a shame that you cannot hide your feelings from me. So just stop trying to hide, and let me help you.” Zayn asserted.
“Fuck… alright. I do like her, but I don’t know how to handle it. I mean, she is a living fantasy, and then she drops a bomb on me. But that bomb, it just makes me like her more, and want her more.”
“How was it?” he asked.
“Really, that is what you took out of that?” I stammered.
“No, but I am just curious what has your panties in a wad.” Zayn replied.
After a brief laugh, I said, “God was she good. I don’t even know how to describe it. How to wrap my head around it, I don’t even know. All I know, is I want to be able to take her anytime I want.” I was even getting turned on a little just thinking about it. Why was I admitting this longing to know her to my best friend? “I don’t understand how she does this to me, and I hardly know her.”
“I do want details, you know that, right?” Zayn demanded.
“Later.” I said giving him my stern Daddy Direction face.
“If you insist.” He conceded. “But tell me about these bombs she dropped.”
“Well, the first one was just a few days ago. At lunch. I thought she was breaking up with me, but she was not and she asked for us to have a break, a two week period where we just get to know each other.”
“What do you mean a break?
“Well, for starters, no sex.” I mumbled. “ But also, she wanted to not kiss, so I was able to negotiate and I can have little kisses, but no tongue.”
“So that is what has you panties in a wad, the bye-bye sex rule.” He said.
“No, I think it is a bit of that, and the second bomb.” I said. “She dropped it on me tonight.” His facial expression was all the prompting I needed to continue. “She has only had one boyfriend before me. She has only kissed him and me, only had sex with him and me. And I treated her like crap for the first few days. I mean, I took her home the first night and jumped her bones…. Aahh… I mean, if I had known I don’t think I would have done that, not on the first night.”
“But, you are glad that you did.” Zayn butted in.
“I honestly am not sure. I am glad that she is who she is, that she is crazy in the sack but a sweet and nerdy girl elsewhere.” I paused briefly to collect my thoughts. “As strange as it seems, I am quite glad that she ran into me that day. I know she brought me some pain since I am not sure if I would have found out about Kim. But if it weren’t for her, I might be living a lie right now with a girl who didn’t even really like me.”
“Well then, you have your answer.” Zayn affirmed. “You need to stop second guessing every action, and take a leap from the edge. Who knows, maybe she will catch you, or even better, you catch her.”
“What does that even…. Never mind.” Maybe Zayn was right. Maybe I did need to take a leap of faith. I had not been doing it for fear of pain. For fear of the backlash I might get from my family, and even from the fans. Somehow, Allie really and truly did make me want to throw everything out the window and start new, to give her my all and never hold back. I had not felt that way in a long time. Not since Danielle.
I was lost in my head, over thinking things like usual, when Zayn brought me back. “Liam… Liam…” He yelled at me.
“Hhuugghh, oh sorry. What’s up?” I asked.
“Look, I did not come over here to crash your date, I cam over to talk to you. Paul gave me a schedule for the next month to give to you, and to be honest, it is brutal.”
“You would think that after doing this for years, that we would be used to it… nope, still as grueling as ever.”

When I walked in the apartment, Maggie was already sitting on the couch, glass of wine in hand. I had become a bit better at texting and checking my phone since Liam and me had started seeing each other, so I had sent her a text letting her know that I would be home soon.
She handed me the glass, more like two glasses since she has quite a heavy hand when it comes to pouring wine. “What’s this?” I asked.
“This is us being girls and gossiping.” Maggie said, way too enthusiastically in my opinion.
That is when I noticed the magazine she had on her lap: a gossip magazine.
“No, stop. I don’t care, I don’t even want to know.” I commanded.
“But you don’t even know what I was going to say.” She protested.
“I know that you are going to want to blab about Liam and whatever it is that group that he is in, but I don’t want to hear it. I don’t like him for his music, or for the fact that he in famous. I still can’t even say that I have heard a single song of his.” Honestly, I had been completely misunderstanding of why people were so fascinated by the lives of famous people. “I mean, who cares Maggie if he is famous.”
“Some times I wonder if you are even human.” She said, making me laugh which was obviously not the response she was looking at.
“If you want to talk to me as a friend about the guy I have been seeing, than that is ok, but otherwise, please leave me to my own devices.”
“Leave you to your own devices, geese Allie, you really did grow up rural. But since you demand…” Clearly Maggie was not happy with me at this moment, but frankly, I was too excited about everything that was happening to me to even remotely care. “then the least you can do is tell me about him.”
“I… I… I don’t even know how to begin to describe him. He is strong and handsome but rugged and nurturing.” How was I going to describe it to my newfound best friend if I was not even really sure about the feelings I was having towards him. “Mags, it is hard to explain. I have never felt anything like this.”
“Why don’t you take a breath and try. Please, I am living my life vicariously through you, at the moment.” She clamored slightly upset that I was the one with a man in my life, when she was the tall and beautiful woman who almost always had a boy toy.
“It is hard to explain, it is like time speeds up and stands still when I am with him. I find it hard to breath, and at the same time I am more aware then ever, like he is a jolt of electricity that animates my body.” Was this what love was supposed to feel like? I had never even thought about it that way. I had resigned myself to the idea that I was not meant for love, not after the brutal relationship that I used both as a safety net but that also ended up being a brutal illness. “Mags, I.. I think that I might be getting over my head on this; I don’t know what I am feeling. My head is telling me that I shouldn’t trust him, that we are nothing more then sex… but my heart…”
“I get it. He is hot.” She said.
“You are a superficial bitch. Did you know that?” I asked.
“Yes, love. I did. But you should know that what you are feeling, well my dear that is what it is like to be in love. Like you cannot live when you are around them, but if you are away from him, then existence is not an option. And as much as it kills me that you are the one who has landed someone famous, I am happy for you.” She paused briefly before quickly adding, “That does not mean that I do not expect you to bring me to some big and swanky functions in the very near future.”
“Still superficial as ever, but thank you. On that note, I am going to go to bed.” I rose up from the couch, gave Maggie a kiss on the forehead before placing my still full glass of wine in the sink and retiring to my bedroom. Me so horny, me so horny, me so horny! Me love you long time. Cracking up, I answered the phone, “I really need to change your ringtone!”
“I am glad it still gets a rise out of you.” Liam’s voice purred out of my phone. Even just hearing his voice on the phone, a jolt of electricity pulsated through my body.
“Hi.” I murmured.
“So I have some bad news. Our dinner tomorrow, we are going to have to postpone it. Turns out, my schedule for rehearsals are demanding and I don’t have as much free time as I was anticipating.” I could hear the melancholy in his voice.
“That’s ok, we will figure it out.” I began, “When do you have some free time?”
“Early mornings, before nine most days. So, I guess we could do breakfast, but that is not exactly what I was hoping for.”
“It’s perfect, breakfast. I cannot do tomorrow, but the day after, would be perfect. Come over to my house?” I requested.
“What time do you want me over?” he asked.
“Don’t answer a question with another question.” I requested, only to add my own question. “When did you want to come over?”
“Why don’t we make it early. Say six? That way we have some time together.”
“I will see you bright and early.”
“I can’t wait! Sleep well.” He was so perfect in so many ways; it was hard to fathom finding a flaw in him.
“Good night.” I hung up the phone, but how was I supposed to go to bed after his voice stimulated me… guess I would have to pick up the book that had been untouched on my floor since meeting Liam; a terrible romance novel.