Catching Red Eyes

My eyes fluttered open and the world was dark. I realized I was still in the living room. I got up and wandered into the kitchen for a glass of water. After taking a sip, I saw a light flicker on outside. I watched as Marsh walked outside and brought the phone to his ear. He started pacing as he spoke to whoever was on the other end. I saw him start to speak with his hands in anger. It was odd seeing him in this state of irritation but I paid no mind as I went upstairs to lay back down. As I was settling down, I heard a car engine turn over and looked out the window. I saw the back lights of the black SUV disappear. Fast.

I didn’t know if I was supposed to be concerned as I settled back down to sleep. Sleep took over as I was still wondering if I was supposed to be worried. I spent the next few hours tossing and turning until I heard a car engine cut off. I rushed over to the window and saw Marsh get out quickly to open the passenger side door. I saw another figure in the dark get out. It was tall, lanky, and there was a familiar hat on top of his head. I felt like the air was knocked out my chest. Could it be?

I grabbed my sweatshirt and ran down the stairs, pulled back the front door, and ran towards the two figures in the dark.

“Harry?” I said in between breathes. I didn’t realize how fast I had ran until I stopped in front of them. They both turned and were surprised to see me. Why? It’s not like they didn’t know I was here. They exchanged looks and Harry nodded to Marsh. Marsh looked from me to Harry and back to me like he was guilty of something. He nodded back to Harry and turned to walk inside.

I looked at Harry with curiosity. Other than his impeccable sense of style with his dark jeans, white t shirt, boots, and dark overcoat, his green eyes were haunting. There was worry in them which caused my heart to skip a beat. What now? I physically, mentally, and emotionally couldn’t take anything more.

“Harry…what? Why are you here? You’re supposed to be in Europe.”

“Let’s talk inside,” he said, pulling my arm and searching the woods.

“Jeez, Harry. Take it easy. You’re acting like someone is watching you.”

“They are.”

I halted and pulled my arm away.

“Rowan, please. Inside.”

I obliged but demanded an answer when we got inside. “What the hell did that mean??”

“Rowan. Look, this is going to be hard to explain but some disgusting pervert has been taking pictures of you and Laurie all weekend. They are all over the internet. Marsh already has a team to get them taken down immediately.”

“Wait, what? What, what kind of pictures? What are you talking about?”

Harry let out a frustrated breath and started rubbing his head as if he had a headache or something. Without hesitation, Harry balled up his fists as if he were about to punch something but stopped when I grabbed his hands.

“Harry, calm down. Please.”

I was still so completely confused about these pictures but I also wanted to make sure Harry didn’t punch a hole in Laurie’s parents’ home.

“This is absolutely fucking ridiculous. I have been pretty pleasant considering all the shit that has been done and said about me over the years but this…this is too much. They have no right to invade your privacy. I swear Rowan…I swear to God that when I find out who did this, they will never see the light of day again.”

“Harry, honestly, it’s not like we swam naked or anything. It’s fine. So what if they got a couple pictures of us in bikinis? Really, it’s ok.”

“Rowan…you don’t get it…someone took photos of you inside your bedroom…changing…you were…you didn’t…”

“What’s going on? Harry, what are you doing here? Wait, didn’t you already leave?” Laurie came into the foyer of her home and looked at us as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes. “Jeez, are you two fighting again?”

I looked over at Harry as he ran his fingers through his hair in frustration.

“I need a minute.” I walked away from them to catch my breath. Was this actually happening? I needed to wake up from this nightmare. I felt like the pizza I had eaten only a few hours earlier was going to come back up. I knew that what that person did was so incredibly illegal but it didn’t stop the pictures from being out there. I felt the tears well up and fall down my face. I didn’t even bother to wipe them away. I overheard Harry explaining to Laurie what was going on. I then heard Laurie screaming at Harry.

“What the fuck, bro? First, she’s been through hell and back for you since the beginning and now she has nude pictures of her on the internet?? This is your fault!” I heard a scuffle as Laurie pushed Harry. I ran back to the front and pulled Laurie back and she went to push him again. “No, Row, stop. This is his fault! None of this shit would have happened if it wasn’t for him! Let me punch him just once.”

I pulled on Laurie’s arm, away from Harry. A part of me wanted her to punch him considering
all the things she said. It hurt because her words were so true.

“Fine. I need some air. Harry, I don’t want you here when I get back. Get your bodyguard to take you somewhere else.” With that, Laurie disappeared and I heard the back door slam shut. I turned my attention back to Harry. He was looking down at his shoes.

“She’s right…fuck, she is so right,” he said quietly. “Look, Rowan…fuck this is going to hurt…your life would be better without me in it…all of this…never would have happened if it wasn’t for me and my life interfering with yours.”

I took a seat on the bottom step of the stairs. I felt the air being taken out my lungs again.
The truth hurt. It hurt so fucking bad. “You’re right, Harry. My life would be…different without you in it...but it’s not what I want. They are just pictures. It’s shitty and it sucks but we will get through this...together. Like we promised.”

Harry squeezed his eyes shut as he said his next words. “Rowan…I have a plane on stand by taking me back to Europe. I just wanted to come here to make sure you knew about those bloody pictures before someone else told you. I have been killing myself trying to do what is best for you because I love you so damn much and…I think your life would be easier without me in it.”

“Woah, wait. You and I just made everything ok between us and now you’re…you’re ending things with me? You’re joking, right? This is a joke,” I said, pulling his face to meet mine, as he opened his eyes that were swimming with tears.

“Rowan…I can’t keep ruining your life over and over again.” Harry was now on his knees in front of me. His hands were locked around my legs. I looked over his shoulder now as the tears fell faster now. We sat like this for a while until I finally pushed him off me.

“You know what…you’re right. You have ruined my life in the most beautiful way, Harry. You showed me what it’s like to really love someone so much that nothing else in the world matters. You showed me that life isn’t about having a plan and controlling everything…you made me…me…you can’t say that’s something bad.”

Harry shook his head and closed his eyes. “No, Rowan. I can’t. I can’t keep doing this to you. Every day it’s something new and I can’t keep watching you cry…I can’t keep doing this…I want you to be happy every single day of your life and I can’t keep being selfish like this. You deserve to be with someone who isn’t followed by cameras; someone who can make you laugh and not cry. I’m sorry. Please don’t hate me. I love you.”

With that, he stood up, kissed my forehead, and walked through the front door. I watched in slow motion as Marsh pulled him into the SUV and he was gone.

Notes