Catching Red Eyes

I woke up to someone next to me. I shifted and saw that it was Laurie. She was quietly sleeping next to me. I felt a stinging in my hand as I got up. I looked down and saw the little cuts in my palm. It was real then. It did all happen. I looked around for my phone and I realized that I didn’t have one anymore. I moved to get my MacBook to check the time. It was 7:45 AM. I slept for almost 10 hours. As I was about to shut the computer, my eyes caught a little red bubble on the bottom. It showed 67 new messages and even more missed FaceTime calls.

“Row, you ok?”

I looked up at Laurie and looked down again. My hand was hovering over the little message
bubbles.

“Can you delete all these for me and figure out how to block him?” I asked, moving my hand away from the mousepad. My voice felt hoarse and sounded foreign. Laurie came over and took the computer. I made my way into the bathroom to take a shower. I had an hour before I had to be at work so I quickly showered and dressed. I grabbed whatever I saw first and put my hair in a wet bun. Laurie held out a cup of coffee and I took a sip. It was warm on my cold insides.

“Can I fix your hair for you before you go?”

I had no intention of even drying it and I honestly didn’t care but I let her do whatever she wanted. I sat in the kitchen and let her dry and style it. I sipped on my coffee and stared off into whatever space I found fit. I heard a knock on the door and just moved my eyes to it. I had no emotion or reaction to much anymore.

“Oh, hey Marsh. She’s almost ready.”

“I was coming to check to make sure she was doing ok. I tried calling because I wasn’t sure if she was taking a personal day.”

I got off the chair, grabbed my bag, and a pair of sunglasses. “I’m ready.”

“Row, wait. I am sure you can call Marc and explain. I know they will understand.”

“No. I’ll be home later,” I said, walking past them. I hooked my headphones in to my ears and turned it all the way up. I didn’t care what was playing, I just wanted to shut the world off.
Marsh quickly signaled to someone who ran up to us and parted the seas of photographers. I put my sunglasses on, put my head down, and walked to the SUV. It felt like slow motion as the cameras flashed and they were all yelling over each other but I didn’t hear anything as the music blasted in my ears.

Marsh opened the back door and the overwhelming smell of roses hit me in the face. Without missing a beat, I pulled them all out and threw them on the ground. The cameras flashed even more as I pulled every last one of them out and threw them on the road. I pulled myself in and sat down. Marsh shut the door and got in on the driver’s side. The other bodyguard was sitting in the passenger’s seat. I watched them exchange looks as they buckled in. I rested my head on the seat and I knew my music was still too loud but I didn’t care.

The drive was mundane and the slew of cameras didn’t let up when we stopped in front of M&G. Marsh pushed back the glass doors and I finally pulled out my headphones as I walked inside.

“Ms. Emerson?”

I turned to face Marsh. He handed me a note and then left. I looked down at the note and recognized Harry’s handwriting. My hands shook as I walked behind Maddy’s desk and turned on the paper shredder and watched the note turn into tiny ribbons. I knew everyone in the office was watching me.

“Rowan…doll, why are you here right now?”

I looked up at Maddy and then to Marc and George and the rest of the staff.

“Because it’s Monday.”

They all kept looking at me as I walked into the conference room. I waited for everyone to come in because I knew they had their daily staff meetings right at 9AM but Marc was the only one that came in.

“Rowan, sweetie, why don’t you take the day off today? You can come back in a couple days when things have settled down a bit.”

I didn’t really know what I wanted to do but maybe it was better to be home right now. I nodded and grabbed my things. “I’m sorry, Marc,” I said, as my voice broke. He gave me a sympathetic squeeze on my arms and a kiss on my cheek as I tried to control my breathing. I went to reach for my phone but remembered I didn’t have one anymore.

“Um, can I borrow your phone? I…forgot mine.”

He nodded as he handed me his. I found Marsh’s card in my wallet and quickly dialed him. It rang once before he answered.

“Ms. Emerson, I am still outside. I’ll be right in to gather you.”

I was grateful to have Marsh but it was bittersweet considering he was employed by Harry. The cameras clicked off as we made our way to the SUV. I took a breath realizing there weren’t any more roses or notes. The ride home was a blur and Laurie greeted me as I pushed back the front door.

“Oh, thank God, Row. Come on. You really shouldn’t have even tried to leave today. These paparazzi are insane. I am about to call the cops.”

“Marc told me to go home and stay home for a few days,” I told her. My voice still sounded so weird to me. It was almost robotic with no emotion or inclination.

“Good. I called work and told them I had an emergency and needed a couple days off. I also called your mom and told her we were disappearing for a couple days. She wasn’t too happy but I told her you would call when we come back. Come on. We are getting out of this city for a few days. I packed your stuff already. Marsh is following us. We are going to my parents’ cabin in the Poconos. ”

I looked at her and gave her a confused look. I still had no real emotional connection to much as I went through the motions of getting into Laurie’s car. I knew she wasn’t going to take no for an answer anyways. I watched the world pass through the passenger side window. The traffic grew less and less and the trees grew more and more. I looked back and saw the black SUV behind us. Laurie played soft music and didn’t try to make any small talk which I was thankful for at this moment in time.

“Who is this?”

Laurie almost jumped when I talked but collected herself to answer. “It’s Parachute. This song is called ‘The Mess I Made.’ I love everything by them.” I closed my eyes and listened to the last notes play and hit the repeat button. We must have listened to the song 20 times before I let it change. Laurie let me listen without a complaint.

Her car slowed as we entered a much hidden road and a beautiful house came into view. It looked like a log cabin but it was much more. It had huge windows and steel beams with what looked like an outside fire place surrounding a huge pool. I opened my door and looked up at it in awe. I turned back as I heard Marsh pull in behind us.

“Marsh, here’s the guest house keys. Knock yourself out and there’s only signal down in town if you need to make any calls.”

“Marsh?” My voice was small as I called his name.

They both stopped and looked at me. “Ms. Emerson?”

“Thanks. For everything. I know he is your boss but you make me feel safer with…everything going on...”

He nodded and gave me a half smile. I knew Harry was in constant contact with him and it was sort of satisfying knowing that the press had been hounding my every move. I was sure the whole roses fiasco was all over the media but I didn’t care. I also knew I had to call my parents eventually but I also didn’t want to explain anything right now.

The inside of Laurie’s cabin was also breathtaking. I knew I would have appreciated it more if my life wasn’t in shambles right now. I sat down on the soft, brown sectional and waited for Laurie to unpack everything. I stared out the huge windows into the dense woods and watched the leaves blow in the summer wind. I got up and pushed back the sliding glass doors. The fresh air greeted me and as the smell of the mountains hit my lungs, I finally felt like I could breathe for the first time in what felt like decades.

Notes