Shiver(narry)(Boyxboy)

"I'm an asshole." I said the next day. I was currently sitting at a table with my two best friends, Louis and Luke. We were meeting for our weekly lunch, god that sounds so gay.
"I'm glad you've finally accepted the obvious." Louis said, not even bothering to look up from his kids menu. Louis refused to get the adult menu, claiming it wasn't fun to color... Immature much?
"I didn't ask for your opinion." I glared at Louis, earning a snort from Luke who was also coloring the kids menu.
"Then why did you say it? Seriously Harry, you need to develop this thing called a filter. Stop saying everything that comes to mind, cause frankly we're both sick of hearing it."
"I changed my mind, you're an asshole Luke."
"Thank you, I take pride in that."
"Wow."
"What? At least I'm accepting of my true self, unlike you. Since we're on the subject though, what made you finally realize you're an asshole? Finally get a girl pregnant?"
"Oh sod off Luke, I haven't slept with anyone in a month."
"Ah, so when you're sexually frustrated you realize you're an asshole. Damn, Lou we should've tried that years ago." Louis just gave a grunt in response, still refusing to look up from his little coloring book. "You're both assholes. I'm surrounded by assholes!" I wailed, planting my face onto the table. It was there I continued with my over dramatic preformance, featuring fake sobbing.
"Drama queen." Luke said.
"That's THE drama queen to you asshole." My voice was muffled from the table, but the smack to the back of my head let me know that he heard me just fine.
"Now in all seriousness, why are you suddenly accepting you're an asshole?"
"Remember how I got a new neighbor a while back? Well let's just say I was being my normal sexually frustrated self and I owe him a new pair of shoes?"
"AIl I got from that was sexually frustrated and shoes. Did you like... have sex with his shoe?" "You're absolutly disgusting, remind me why I'm friends with you again."
"Because Lou and I are the only ones who put up with your asshole behavoir. Seriously Harry, what'd you do?"
"Well you know how I am when I'm drunk... I'm really clingy and shit, but I puked on his shoes... That's why I owe him a new pair, but he was in my flat yesterday morning and I was hungover in my defense... But I think I scared him off? I feel awful about it cause he looked like he was about ready to cry when he left... All I did was pull a couple sex jokes, and I grabbed his hand."
"You grabbed his hand?"
"Yeah..."
"Well at least you didn't like force yourself upon him. Remember when you did that to Ashton? Man... He hasn't spoke to you since."
"I didn't force myself upon anyone! Ashton is just a fucking liar trying to ruin my reputation.
He should get whatever stick is up his butt and get over the fact I didn't want to commit. I warned him the second he wanted to go all the way... I warned him."
"Sometimes warning isn't enough Harry, you really should just stop with all of this... Player stuff. You're gonna end scorning a serial killer."
"I haven't slept with anyone since Niall came into town."
"Props to you, but why Niall?"
"I think... I think I like him a lot... I know he bloody well hates me cause I'm an ass, but god... He's just what I've always kind of wanted? He's so sassy Luke, and I love it. I love how he gets so flustered whenever we so much as touch..."
"I wanna meet him." Louis said, making Luke and I both look at him. He was finally done with coloring his kids menu, looking at both of us with curious eyes.
"No."
"Why not?" "Cause last time I introduced you to someone you basically pulled a me. I actually really liked Calum you dick."
"For the record, you never called dibs and I didn't pull a you. I'm happily dating him, thank you very much."
"You still fucked him, when you knew I liked him."
"Get over it."
"If you had a turtle, I would kill it." I glared at Louis, who didn't even seemed fazed. Luke just watched the two of us, a small smile on his face.
"Well I guess it's a good thing I don't have a turtle."
"I'll buy you a turtle and let you fall in love with it, then I'll kill it."
"Oh my, the horror. "
"Asshole."
"I thought we already established that was you?" Louis smirked, and he was damn lucky that Luke was in between us or the fucker would have a nice red hand print on his right cheek.
"Boys, you're both pretty. As entertaining as it is to watch the two of you argue, I don't exactly want to get kicked out of the restaurant. So, set aside your differences for a little while okay?"
"Pretty? I'm not pretty. I'm handsome. Pretty is such a girl term." I huffed, glaring at Luke who just shrugged at me.
"You're acting a little gay there Harry." Louis snorted, arching an eyebrow at me.
"I am so sick of you Louis, I'm leaving." I stood up from the table, ignoring Luke shouting for me to come back. I didn't care though, I didn't have to put up with Louis‘ shit today. It wasn't long before I found myself standing in front of a shoe store.
"Well... Here goes nothing." I whispered, walking into what could possibly be the equivalent of hell.
The things I do for that slut dresser.

Notes

Sorry for not posting yesterday I was out of town all day, I'll try and post again later today.