Emily's POV

I shove as much as I can into my over loaded bag, I need to get out of here and fast. Holly doesn't understand, she never gives me a chance to explain what the hell is going on. She thinks that everything with Max and I is all happy and no drama. She is far from right.
I am so misunderstood it infuriates me, I don't know how much more I can take of this.
I've been a cow, that's probably not harsh enough but I know I've been acting completely inappropriately. All I have tried to do is cry for help, but nobody is listening. I thought when I found Louis, I'd be safe at last. I could finally get away and start the life I have always dreamed of. My dreams are far away from me and now I know I'm never going to be able to reach them, this world doesn't want me to achieve the things I want in life. I'm only set up to fail.

I take my phone and I shove it frantically into my pocket as I sling my bag over my shoulder. I wish it didn't come to this, but I've got no other choice. I have hurt so many people, Holly really won't let me forget about what had happened and I am tired of hearing about it. If only she let me sit down with her and Louis, I could really have explained my reasons. I could have proved that it wasn't intended to beat Holly, okay it was a bet but it was a bet I wanted to win so badly because it was my massive escape route. I thought being with someone like Louis would have saved me. But they will never get to know that now, It's sad but they chose to throw me away for good, I can't change their minds.

My phone rings but I ignore it as I focus on leaving the house quickly, I manage to succeed and I climb into the car. I've done it, I've left and now I'm free.

As I start the car I can see a car heading towards me, I quickly duck down as I'm not sure if it's Max. I hope he hasn't seen me, I've come so far that I can't back out now. I wait a couple of seconds before I slowly sit up and I see that the car was not Max's, I sigh with relief as I quickly start the car and I quickly pull away. I can not describe how good it feels to be leaving that place behind, a whole weight has been lifted off my shoulders and I finally feel as if I can breathe. At long last.
I start to wonder about Louis again. I wish I had spoke to him before Holly did, she jumped to conclusions and just went ahead and told him everything that she thought was going on. Okay some of it was true, actually I should say most of it was true. But she doesn't know why I did things I did, why I first tried to be with Luke.
Luke is so kind and caring, any girl could fall for him. He would make me feel special and wanted, okay we lacked that bit of spark but I didn't care, compared to Max he was a true gentleman and I honestly thought he could be the one to show me how I really should be treated. I don't know how I slipped up with Luke, I don't know why I left his texts on my phone, I used to like re-reading them as he was just so sweet, but Max obviously flew off the handle and then it all just blew up. Luke didn't want to know me after that, I don't blame him either.

I swore I'd never do that again, I'd never drag another guy into my mess. But when I met Louis I just felt something from him, protectiveness, caring and just lust. The lust wasn't important, as flattering as it was but I was more sure on the fact that he made me feel safe whenever I was with him. I should have listened to myself when I first met him and agreed to that stupid bet. I screwed with his number on purpose to resist any temptation that I knew I'd have to calling or texting him. I really tried, but something inside of me just kept telling me that he was there for me. He was the one to show me that life does get better than Max, I wanted to run into his arms and never leave him. If only Holly knew why, instead she thinks I did it to despite her, because I am a cheating slag who just wants all the male attention. I suppose I haven't helped myself at all, but she's got it all wrong because I wasn't allowed to explain why I wanted Luke, why I needed Louis. I wasn't greedy, I was desperate for help.

Then Bella, god she's beautiful. She is everything that I wish I could be. I've treated her rotten, I know I shouldn't have been so disgusting to her but she just doesn't understand what is going on. Outside the hospital that time I visited Louis, I stepped out of line, I was worked up and I was in a bad place that I just can't seem to get out of. Being around her where she seems so perfect, it just made me mad. Why couldn't I be like her? I see the way Louis looked at her, I know exactly what was going on in his mind and I hated it. If she was going to have him then I really would be left alone, maybe dead. But that doesn't excuse my behaviour, she thinks the same as everyone else because that's what she's been told. Can I blame her? Of course not.

She didn't trust me with my warning either, again why would she? It was so hard with Max and Gary watching me, as far as they knew I was threatening Bella because I know they want to hurt Louis badly. But instead I was panicing every second that I spent with her, I tried to let her know that Louis is in danger, Max won't stop until he thinks Louis has payed the price. I know what he's like, he'll use Bella and Harry as they are Louis' weakness. I didn't know what to do when she wouldn't listen, maybe grabbing her wasn't such a good idea, I thought she would have clocked on with how desperate I was, instead she was terrified.

Then Holly appeared, I have no idea why she was suddenly there to Bella's 'rescue', why is she still hanging around Louis? Does she not understand he isn't interested? Now I'm out of the picture maybe she thinks she actually has a chance with him, she's so wrong. The only girl Louis wants is the one Gary is planning on getting, I hope she doesn't leave Louis' side.

I pull up knowing that if I go any further I'll flip over the edge of the cliff. Part of that excites me as I know for sure I'll be free from him once and for all. No more telling me what to do, no more raising his hand to me, no more treating me like I'm a bit of dirt on the bottom of his shoe. I'm tired of being abused, I'm not going to be that girl anymore that's looking for an escape. I'll be away from it all, the day has come and I'm glad it's here.

I take my phone from my pocket and I see it's a text from Louis, I take a deep breath as I prepare myself for what I'm hoping to be the last text that I'll ever read.


I don't quite know what you said to Bella, but I'm telling you this needs to stop.
She can't be afraid to walk to the shop, which she is now because of you.
So, I'll meet you if that's what it takes, you tell me what you've been so
desperate to tell me, then you leave. We don't want to see you again.
It's your choice.



I press reply as I don't bother to really think of what I want to say back to him, there isn't much point but I guess it's better to do what I think is the right thing.



This is all wrong. Everything wasn't how it was explained.
I didn't mean to hurt Bella, I didn't mean to scare her either.
But I will leave you alone for sure, I'm not coming back.
It's time I put myself first, I can't continue life like this.
You were never supposed to be involved, I guess you
had me more than you realised. I would have been yours,
I wish I was yours. I'm sorry, I'll always be sorry.



Once I hit send I look away as I swallow hard as this is really happening. I never expected myself to give up, to let somebody else drive me to this, I was happy once. I have good childhood memories, they were the ones that kept me sane, they made me realise that I did have love in my life. God this is depressing. But fuck you Max and fuck everything that you've ever done to me, for turning me into somebody that I don't even recognise. For taking my innocence and replacing it with a sour taste, you've changed my life Max, you've ruined me.

As I go to start the car, my phone goes but this time it's a phonecall. I glance down and I freeze as Louis name flashes at me, I don't know what to do. I want to answer him, to hear his voice, but I can't. He'll make me weak and I've waited to finally get courage to do this, I know I'll fall for him and I'll do everything he instructs, but I also don't want to miss this opportunity of clearing the air. Going on a good note is better than going on a bad one. I answer the call,

"Emily? Where are you?" Louis asks slightly concerned. I can imagine the pain in his eyes as I know he struggled with having no control.

"Louis, I wish I could tell you the truth. But it still wouldn't make everything okay, no words can sugar coat this or make it better." I sigh as his voice melts my heart. I try not to sound weak.

"Emily, just tell me where you are." Louis repeats and I shake my head, I don't say a word. "Emily." He snaps.

"Do you realise how beautiful Bella is?" I ask and he falls quiet. "She is stunning Louis. All this time that girl has been in your life who clearly likes you, I treated her like crap because she threatened me. I felt so small next to her." I sigh and Louis lowers his voice.

"Emily, I know you're about to do something stupid. We may have not known each other long, but I know that something is up. So can you please tell me where you are?" He asks and I bite my lip as I'm so close to telling him. I close my eyes and I fight back the tears.

"I'm not your problem Louis, I don't want you to know where I am. My text said everything that I wanted to say." I cry the last word and I hang up.

Damn him for calling me and damn myself for answering. Just by hearing his voice everything has changed, I don't want to be without him but I know I'll never have him. I don't know what to do now, everytime I get closer something seems to stop me. I'm such a mess, I'm a complete disgusting mess.

Notes

Okay....
Was anybody expecting that about Emily? What do you think now we are starting to learn alittle bit about her? She really is in a bad place. I'd love to hear what you all think!!

Thank you to everyone who has stuck around with this story, I know it's not to everybody's taste and I understand if you start to lose interest. But to the readers who are still enjoying it, thank you for taking your time to read my updates. You lovely, lovely people! :)
xx