Who Are You

Wednesday Morning

Groaning, I rolled around while waking up. Light was flooding through the room I was in through a huge window.

Wait, where am I?

Shooting up from the comfy bed I looked around. Oh, Harry's bedroom. Just as I threw the covers off and began to get up, a headache started from the alcohol the night before. Wincing, I placed a hand up to my forehead.

Really? I swear I hadn't even had that much to drink!

Then I saw I was only in my underwear and bra. Oh no! Did I sleep with Harry last night? I quickly accessed myself. I didn't feel any different, and I definitely wasn't sore.

Thinking back to last night, I remembered that we had gotten close to sex, but it didn't happen.

Oddly I seemed a little disappointed that we didn't do anything.

Don't get me wrong, I am still nervous about all of it, but I know I want Harry to be my first.
This surprised me because I always have said that I wouldn't sleep with someone I didn't love.

I mean, I couldn't love Harry. Right?

Shit.

Before I could go any further into that terrifying topic, Harry entered the bedroom causing me to cover up with the sheets. Black Calvin Klein boxers hung off his hips seductively. He was shirtless, his hair ruffled from sleep. Finally hanging from his mouth was a piece of toast with jelly spread on it.

As he spotted me hiding under the covers, a smirk formed on his face and he lazily headed towards me.

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"You don't have to hide from me love," he said slowly, "nothing I haven't already seen." He concluded with a wink.

I blushed and then scooted over so he could join me.

He had finished his breakfast and few crumbs were left on his plump lips. Instinctively I reached over and brushed the off with my thumb. Just as I finished my eyes looked up to him and we were locked in a stare.

Just this simple touch held so much lust between us.

Before I could react, Harry had pinned me down on the bed and climbed on top of my bare stomach.

"Oh Lucy, you keep teasing me. It's not very fair," he spoke while kissing down my neck.

His hot breath fanned over me, and I kept squirming.

"I won't make you do anything you don't want to.." Harry said suddenly serious, "You know that right?"

My head nodded a yes, I trusted him enough to know he wasn't like that. The sensation of him was overwhelming, I needed him.

"I-I want to do this Harry," he looked at me like I was crazy, "I want to um have um you know."

This topic was so uncomfortable for me. Harry could sense it, that's why he was being so sincere.

He seemed to think out his reply.

"You know I've been dying to, but I want it to be special. And you shouldn't be persuaded by lust." He spoke words that mirrored my beliefs.

"You're right," as I replied Harry got off of me, "but it's not just that."

Stopping in his actions, Harry stiffened and turned towards me.

"What else is there?" His eyes were tuned to me. It was like he wanted to hear me say it. He wanted to know how I felt.

I couldn't though, this was crazy! How could I love him just after this short amount of time. Honestly I had never been in love. How would I know?

Whenever we touch my body sets on fire and leaves me wanting more of him. He's been constantly on my mind, and we connect on a deep level despite the fact we haven't known each other for long.

Was this love?

"Harry I-" I was interrupted by my phone letting out a shrill ring.

Saved by the bell, thank god.

Grabbing my phone I saw that Layla was calling. Weird, it was almost nine, way too early for a conversation for her.

"Hey what's up?" I asked Layla once the line connected.

Car horns beeped in the background before Layla answered.

"Lucy?" Her voice was scared and frantic. Immediately I stood up. Concern began to seep in.

"Honey what's wrong?" She was scaring me.

"I-It's Lance. I just got a call from the hospital. He's been in an accident Lucy. I'm so scared.
What if something bad happened?"




Noon

My eyes slowly grazed across the tiled wall. I winced as light flooded in from a crack between the shades. The waiting room of this hospital had bored me from the minute we sat down. Looking at the clock hanging on the wall across from me, I noted that we had been here for almost three hours. It was nearing noon and my stomach was empty.

Rushing from Harry's to the hospital was a blur, now him and I have been stuck in this vacant waiting room.

When we arrived my blood was pumping and even Harry was in a frenzy. Now there was an eerie calm surrounding us. We hadn't been allowed to see Layla or Lance yet.

Harry was definitely nervous, he kept scratching the back of his neck and fidgeting around. My head rested on his shoulder as I tried to comfort him, after all this was one of his closest friends.

My heart was breaking for Layla, I knew for a fact Lance meant more to her than anyone else.
If something serious were to happen, it would have devastating effects on her life.

The click of heels could be heard coming down the hall. I sat up in attention, maybe this would be Layla.

A tall, older lady who appeared to be a doctor called out our names. Harry and I jolted up and practically ran to her.

She nodded politely and instructed us to follow her. After many turns and a lot of steps, we had made it to an ICU room on the third floor. The doctor told us to go in when we were ready.

Reaching out for Harry's hand, I took a deep breath before we entered the room together.
Immediately my hope was drained.

Layla sat in a chair next to a hospital bed. She was hunched over, her face in her hands as she whimpered quietly. I almost couldn't stand to look at Lance.

It wasn't even him anymore.

A pale body lied on the bed, bruises and blood across his face and his body that wasn't covered by a blanket.

Then there was the wires.

So many needles and pumps hooked into his body and hung from him.

Totally forgetting about Harry, I rushed over to Layla. Wrapping my arms around her thin, shaking body I hugged her.

"I don't know what to do Lucy," Layla's voice was small and defeated.

My forehead crinkled up in confusion. Layla noticed my expression and began to explain.

"He's in a coma. Some asshole ran a red light and hit him on the driver's side. The doctors don't think," she let out another strangled cry before continuing, "he's going to wake up."

Finally understanding what has happened, a silent tear strolled down my cheek.

This couldn't be happening, not when everything was coming into place for all of us.
Shaking my head clear of negative thoughts, I looked my best friend straight in the eyes.

"We'll figure this out together," I told her with ease and comfort. My hand rubbed her back while she replied.

"Lucy, they said I need to decide whether or not to stop his life support. It's the only thing keeping him alive right now."

This was sick, how could she be able to make this decision?

"Whatever you think is right honey," I wanted her to know that she shouldn't feel guilty about her decision.

"Honestly Lucy, it's not right for him to sit here like this. Barely alive," she was letting it all out by now.

A sudden crash exploded from the other side of the room.

Layla and I shot up in surprise from the sound. A small table was broken on the floor from being thrown at the wall. My eyes traced back to Harry, who sat there fuming.

A prominent vain stood out from his neck, his eyes cold and alert, this was the Harry I disliked. Only someone had decided to outrage him.

"What the fuck do you mean? Do you not have any goddamn hope or strength? Lance will make it through this! I'll be damned if I let you bet the one to kill him," Harry was seething. His face was red and even I was scared.

How could he say these things? Obviously he was going through a hard time too, but that gave him no right to take it out on Layla.

I think Layla was so stunned by his outburst she didn't know what to say.

"Harry! How dare you," I started to yell back, but she stood up and strode over to him.

With tears in her eyes, Layla calmly spoke to Harry.

"He is brain dead Harry, that body is not the Lance we knew. He wouldn't want this, and you know it," her explanation was steady.

Then the last thing I imagined to happened unfurled in front of me.

Harry fell to his knees in front of her and slow tears fell of his face. Layla held him as he howled with loss. I never had seen this side of Harry. He was completely unprotected and vulnerable.

"Lucy," Harry called out to me solemnly, "I need you to get me out of here."

Looking to Layla, she nodded her head signaling to me it was alright. Before we left, Layla told me she would be alright because Lance's family was going to be here soon.

The ride back to Harry's was quiet. Harry was closed off. I hated when he was like this. Of course I understood that it's been a traumatic day, but I wish he would let me know how he's feeling, what he's thinking, and that he would let me be there for him.

Even though we were right next to each other in this stuffy taxi, our minds had never been further away. Now what was I supposed to do? I doubt Harry wanted me with him right now. I could go back to the hospital, but wouldn't I feel out of place with Lance's family? I didn't know him all that well and I would only be there for Layla.

Letting out an exasperated sigh, I brought my hand to my forehead trying to clear my thoughts.
As we pulled up to Harry's place, I got out and trailed behind him up to his door.

"I'll just go home then," I told him while turning away.

His large hand grabbed mine abruptly, whisking me around and back to him.

My eyes met his face. His usual light eyes were red and puffy, the usual spark in them dead.

"No, I need you right now baby," his voice was deep and everything I had been hoping to hear.
Nodding my head, I walked inside with him.

Who knew what time it was at this point. I snuggled my face into Harry's chest, relishing in the warmth I had found there. Right now this bedroom was our holding cell.

A pizza box, cups, and pillows were strewn around the room, but we didn't mind. After coming back we had been starving and ordered some pizza. Soon after Harry had fallen asleep in our embrace. For awhile now I had been just sifting through daydreams as a movie played softly from the TV.

Just as a low yawn came from my mouth, I felt Harry stir next to me. As he began to wake his grip tightened around me. It was as if he wanted to make sure I hadn't left.

"Mornin' sleepy," I teased him.

A small smile formed from his lips but it was forced.

"What did you dream about?" I asked him, trying to lighten the mood.

Before answering, he pushed his body up, his back resting against the headboard.

"It wasn't a dream really. More a memory," he explained.

I nodded my head, encouraging him to go on.

"When I was little my mum would sing to me when I was sick or down," as he retold his story, my fingers trailed down his chest, "she had a beautiful, soothing voice. There was one song in particular I loved. During my dream that one kept replaying. Over and over."

This made me smile, Harry's mom must be a wonderful woman.

"I'm sure she is an exceptional woman," I told him sincerely.

For a second I thought I saw a frown come upon his face, but he swiftly got out of the bed and mentioned he had to go to the bathroom.

As soon as he entered the hallway, his head pooped back in and he studied me closely.

"I'm glad you're here with me Lucy." A simple phrase that brought a smile to my lips.

Notes