I wake up to the sound of the television. I roll over to see Niall watching the news.

"Good morning... " I say

"Sounds like someone had an eventful night. " He points to the television.

"Louis Tomlinson stepped out of his hotel last night with a girl he introduced as Niall Horan's girlfriend. " A women says.

"Oh that... It wasn't my idea. "

"Yeah? Well you didn't object to it. Did ya?"

"No, I didn't because I'm tired of you putting me off in public... Now you don't have to."

"I don't put you off in public. "

I get off the bed. Anger now boiling it's way to rage.


"Yeah you do! Last night for example... You wouldn't even look at me in public. "

"I wasn't trying to put you off! Damn Rio, Your so stupid!"

"I'm stupid? Is that right? I guess I am! Because only someone stupid would let someone fuck them and then hide them in public! Only someone stupid would fall in love with someone who doesn't even care about them! " Now I'm crying...

I don't want him to see how bad he hurt me so I do what I do best... I run into the bathroom and lock the door.

"Rio, please come out. I didn't mean it. I'm sorry. "

I don't respond. I used to harm myself when I was upset... I never cut myself... I would do things like choke myself until I was on the verge of death. Or hold my head under water until I passed out. I even hung myself once.

I always made sure someone was looking for me and knew where to find me because I never wanted to die.

"Fine... I'll be back." He whispers.

I take a deep breath before running bath water. I undress and unlock the door, before sliding all the way under the water.

The feeling I get when I'm on the verge of death is a calming high for me... I can't explain it... It just happens

My chest tightens and I know what's coming next. My whole world goes back.

---

"Baby what are you doing? "

"Grandma? I don't known if I can do this anymore. "

"Do what? "

"Live. "

"Honey... You have people who love you, right where you are. Niall loves you. "

"It doesn't seem that way."

"He found you! You hurt him way more then he could ever hurt you."

I look around to see I'm in a hospital room.

"Is this some sort of out of body experience? "

"That's exactly what this is. You need to see how bad you hurt that boy." She points to Niall who is sitting next to my bed.

I slowly walk to him... He's talking.

"Rio, I never tried to hide you in public. I just wanted to give you time to adjust to my lifestyle. I guess I was trying to keep you to myself... I just love you so Damn much... I don't want my life to scare you.... I'm selfish. "

He's crying and that makes me cry.

"No... I'm the selfish One."

He looks over at me and That's when I realise I'm laying on the bed... Awake.

"Rio?" He stands up and pulls me tightly to him.

"Hey." I'm still crying and so is he.

I scoot over a little bit allowing him to lay next to me.

"Hi." He lays down and places my head on his shoulder. "You scared the hell out of me."

"I know... I'm sorry. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt you. "

"it's Okay, sweetheart. I just need you to know that I do love you."

"I know...I've always known that. Since the night you remodeled my grandparents' house... I love you to."

With that said he kisses the top of my head. I want him to actually kisses me. I know That's not going to happen though.

Notes

Finally after so long I finally got someone availability to be able to update!